Work Text:
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what Mari intended. Four of my friends break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through Hero, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on Kel, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails Hector. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds Kel and Basil In the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms and shreds my violin. Fix bayonet and charge the terrified Aubrey. She Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as Mari intended.