Work Text:
from perspective of Si Woo (Choi Hyun Woo route)
At night I go to the little park by the lake . I can hear the night insects buzzing in the grass around the lake . Light flashes by occasionally as traffic Hums along the highway . I keep two pendants around my neck. One...... the vial that contains the ancient power of the exorcist clan........ the other , the gentle shimmering blue soul stone . Fans have seen these as I never take them off even for performances. They have asked me about them , and I described only that they are from dear friends and family . They are my good luck charm and that is why I never am seen without them .
I sit and ponder how much these two men mean to me, albeit in different ways .
◦ It seems peculiar that two such opposites ever at odds should come to agreement over me.
Ha Jin Hyuk continues to hunt and expel evil ghosts but he has allowed me to accompany him more frequently when he thinks there may be a chance of comforting or redeeming the ghost . Many ghosts do not mean to harm humans or even want to, but there are some whom are so corrupt ..... Ha Jin won’t even tell me about them , he simply sends them away . I worry when days go by and he doesn’t return that perhaps he has encountered someone too powerful for him and I fear that he has been overcome . I wish he would trust me to accompany him in dangerous situations but I feel he has been deliberately avoiding me since the events at the M apartments .
Apparently Choi Hyun Woo was much more than the leader of the ghosts in the mountains . He seemed to be containing or holding back souls of the dammed who could not cross over to reincarnate . Many of the most ancient evil ghosts were restrained by him , and now that he has gone to sleep in the soul stone , and the other ghosts who followed him are no longer obtaining nourishment from this source , the evil spirits have run rampant and kept the exorcist clan very busy . Some ghosts’ unfinished business was to rule the mortal world and they are not less ambitious in their immortal forms . I have been tailed several times and ha Jin Hyuk kept his promise of protection.
I want to summon him with the pendant but if I do and I’m not in danger he will be angry with me . He might be fighting or resting ....... oh why couldn’t he be a normal friend I could just talk with !
Now that Kang Yoon Sei has left , I feel very lonely at J agency .
If Choi Hyun Woo were awake to talk with me , I know we could enjoy restful times together and I would be free to just be myself again. Perhaps that is another reason Ha Jin Hyuk is avoiding me . He knows how much I care for Choi Hyun Woo ....... he has kept his promise to protect me but his distance hurts . I know he still feels differently toward me than I for him .
I am concerned for mom and try to ring her cell phone but she doesn’t answer . Maybe before we launch our first tour I should pay her a visit in Busan....... mom watched my first television interview and she was proud of me but she called to scold me because she had heard nothing of my near assault and she was angry I hadn’t told her about it .
Since that interview I have received letters from many fans , some who were not so fortunate as to escape assault . All of them suffer anxiety , depression , and some struggle with thoughts of suicide or low self worth because of what happened to them. I take time to write back and encourage each one . I also have written songs for survivors of abuse and now the recording studio is preparing to release them . We will perform the song on our first tour and a portion of the proceeds will be used to help victims of abuse and human trafficking.
I guess I have finally reached my goal of inspiring others . But I also want to help them to recognize their own worth and that they can be their own hero, that it is never too late to rewrite their own destiny . I think back to when I imagined my life was over and how despondent I felt ..... I never thought myself selfish but I did find myself a coward ....... and blaming myself only further ensnared me in the tangled gnarls of dark emotions. I had to forgive myself to create a new future . And I hurt the people who loved me more than I could imagine . Now , that I am today where I once dreamed to be and i now possesses what once seemed unobtainable.... it seems ridiculous to imagine my life as over . Thinking of all the ghosts we have comforted I know it’s not too late to reach out to those around us and to make their world better as we find our own peace . Thinking these things I pen a letter to a fan with my phone flashlight . I post to Twitter about the topic encouraging people to strive for the light even if it means changing course ...... like Lee Soo Min. We invite her to speak from time to time .
I am thinking about only doing one album...... one tour .....:: I feel that eventually , I would like to go to college ..... not to be a prosecutor like mom imagined , but to be a counselor ! I could work in a high school and coach and encourage young girls . But right now , I’m not that much older than them...... so maybe there is time to do a few more tours before I go back to school. I’m no longer worried about having to study for the entrance exams. I know I can do anything I set my mind to do. I take out the soul stone and talk to Choi Hyun Woo as if he were here . Almost like a silent prayer ......
I startle when I hear something stirring . I feel a cold chill as though someone or something is staring at my back, when I turn, there is no one there . I clutch the pendant to summon Ha Jin Hyuk instinctively. Whoever it is , they are a spirit and not mortal .
I am surprised when a voice calls out and there is a fox spirit .
“I will not harm you !” The fox calls in a human voice . It is unnatural, and not necessarily a male nor a female voice .
I still do not release the pendant but I mutter ha Jin Hyuk’s name softly .
The traffic stops and all time freezes . The fireflies move more slowly and the insect’s chorus hits a low hum........
The fox spirit has frozen time all around us !
“Please do not call your friend, I am not that type of ghost ! I will not hurt you , as I said. I am an ancient ghost like the geogugwi...... “
“A nature spirit ?” I ask, fearing that the fox may be a trickster and not an ally of Choi Hyun - woo......
“Listen none of us nature spirits knows anymore who we used to be or what our unfinished business was ...... we have been since the dawn of time, perhaps since the world on earth before humans existed ....... we cannot be comforted and sent away as other spirits ...... but you have changed the geogugwi....... he no longer searches for his lost past ...... after all even if he found it, how could he change it ! The world and those he once knew in many lifetimes are gone...... but now he has upended his duty to his fellow ghosts and focused on the mortal world........”
“You are angry with him and want to punish him? “ I ask nervously , concealing the soul stone in my other hand .
“No......” the fox whisks it’s tail and licks it’s paw nonchalantly.
“Then if you want to remind him of his duty, you will have to wait ........” I grit my teeth nervously .
“I can wait longer than you can , dear girl and that is why I’m here ......”
the cold shiver courses down my spine again .
“He expended all his strength to upend the natural law , to create this alternative timeline for you . In so doing the old timeline has been superseded. Never in the history of the world has a spirit dared such a thing ! He will sleep not for centuries , but for millennia....... how devastated do you think he will be to awake and find his new purpose for existing , vanished ?”
My breath catches as a lump lodges in my throat . I feared I might be old when he awakened and he might not recognize me, but I never imagined ....... centuries ...... millennia ........
“What do you aim to do?” I ask apprehensively, still clutching the soul stone .
“The spirits are pleased with you and Ha Jin Hyuk. You have comforted many ghosts , an effort few previous exorcists have made . Ha Jin Hyuk has also defeated a personal ancient enemy of mine ....... and I am here to return a favor ......:: “
I do not speak but wait for the fox to continue .
“Many ghosts have agreed to use our power and give blessing to awaken Choi Hyun Woo..... and give him a gift ...... he will be mortal as are you ......”
I think about this carefully . Would Choi Hyun woo want this ? What would happen to the ghosts he cared for ? What if the fox is an enemy trying to trick me and remove an obstacle to power? Why did he freeze time and not let me see Ha Jin Hyuk?
I suddenly feel isolated and scared .
I think about how even if I awaken his spirit , how we cannot have a truly normal life together . But often he had used his power to appear in a solid form manifest even to other people ...... I could take him home and introduce him to my mother ........ how surprised she would be with his name !
I think about how important uncovering his past was to Choi Hyun Woo..... is our future together more important than that ?
I shake my head . “ I cannot make such an important decision for him !” I recall how I felt when he made his sacrifice for me , but I didn’t understand why he went to such lengths to oppose my entering the j agency .
“I expected you might say that ...... go ahead , summon Ha Jin Hyuk and consult . I have a way to send you into the soul stone to speak with Choi hyun woo..........”
is the fox setting a trap for Ha Jin Hyuk and me ? Is he after the soul stone ?
As if knowing my thoughts or reading the expression blatantly seared on my face , the fox laughs .
“Your experience had made you distrustful.....: so sad !” And then it leaps back into the bushes , with a flourish of its tail the traffic unfreezes and life resumes its normal rhythm.
In a moment , Ha Jin Hyuk is by my side .
“What happened ?” He rubs his hand against the hair at the back of his neck, eyes squinting to search the bushes where the fox disappeared. He is clutching an exorcist token .
I explain what the fox spirit proposed .
Ha Jin Hyuk furrows his brow and frowns.
“ a matter this important affects not only you and Choi hyun woo, but everyone ...... I must discuss it with my clan..... you should come with me .......”
I agree without hesitation, knowing he is right , but I’m still nervous about meeting his clan .
That night after I return home , I lay awake a long time clutching the soul stone . It shines in the darkness and I feel a soft thrum as I twirl it between my fingers .
When I dream , I imagine ...... or is it real ? ..... that I feel his presence hovering over me, just for a moment he placed his hand on my shoulder and lightly traced my face , and then as if we are being ripped apart , he is pulled back into the soul stone .
What is it like being in that place ? A void between worlds ? Cold and dark like the cavern in my dream world where I met the other me ?
I dream and I’m not sure if it is real , that I am inside the soul stone ..... but even once inside , I call out to him , and Hyun woo doesn’t answer . I find him sleeping , a transparent blue outline . I reach for him, and then startle awake . I sit up in bed with a soft cry , hot tears brimming at my eyes .
I don’t want to wait for what the exorcist clan’s decision . They will never trust the fox ! Going against Ha Jin Hyuk feels like a betrayal , but I can no longer live this way, knowing that the person I should be sharing my life with ...... could be with me ....... it is against regulations to leave the dormitory at this time , but I do.......
I go out to the forest where I found Hyun woo in the past .
Fox spirit ? I whisper softly .
It’s as if it had been waiting for me , knew I would not be able to resist , that I would come .....
“I know you do not wish to decide for him...... but what you saw in your room was real....... it is difficult to awaken his consciousness even inside the soul stone........”
“You followed me !” I almost hissed in accusation. Was that you in my room or chu hyun woo?” I recall how ghosts have created illusions in the past .
“What does your soul tell you ? You should know by now ........” fox is losing patience .
“Could we not awaken him and then ask if he wishes to be turned mortal ?”
foxes expression turns a little sour . “You must decide for him as he once decided for you ! We are running out of time ! “
“Running out of time ? What do you mean ?” I stammer anxiously .
The foxes pushy behavior and impatience makes me doubt his benevolent intentions ........
I will
1. wait for the exorcist clan as promised
2. Proceed with helping Choi hyun Woo now
————————————————————————-if you wait for the exorcist clan......
As much as I want to help Choi hyun woo I apologize to the fox and ask his patience .
If we are to attempt this, it must be done cautiously and correctly . I try to suppress my fear that they will reject the request and squelch my hope . I tell myself that hope will not be extinguished. I still have Ha Jin Hyuk to help me and if they say no we wil find another way . I cannot allow my impatience and emotions to cloud my judgment.
The clan gathered and though austere and stern , they surprise me by agreeing to help. It seems the boundary between the spirit world and the mortal realm is disintegrating without Choi hyun woo........ if he is released from the soul stone , then the ghosts can choose a new guardian, presumably the fox spirit , to handle the stone and they can seal the gateway ..... ghosts will continue to draw power from the stone if they choose to remain in the material world in their supernatural form .
If we fail to seal the divide , humans and ghosts cooperating together .......... then ........ I shudder to think what might happen .
My dance instructor is watching me more closely . I have missed practice the last several days because I have been so concerned with Choi hyun woo. I make many mistakes in class because I am tired and distracted
“si woo! You worked so hard for this ! Don’t become complacent now ! We have an upcoming performance! You need to get your priorities straight !”
I can’t risk sneaking out at night and getting caught ........ my mind scrambles for an excuse . I tell him that a close friend of mine from high school is in a coma and I request medical leave for a few days to go visit
He is still angry . “If your friend is in a coma , you should focus on your dancing. It’s not like they will know if you visit them anyway .......”
“I think...... if I go visit him, he might wake up ...........” I venture
“Him ? Si woo! You know you can’t be dating ........”
“No no, “ I start to cry a little in front of the whole class “ it’s not like that . I treated him rudely to try to get rid of him because I wanted to come here , but he was the only one who really supported or understood me and I never got the chance to apologize.........”
“Is this....... the young man that beat up Lee Chang Hui ?” Instructor looks concerned as of wondering that his coma might have something to do with retaliation from Chang Hui .
After thinking it over , he waves hand in dismissal. “ go ahead and go ! I’ll speak to Yang Seo-A ......... we will hold your spot for three days , but if you can’t get your head on straight , don’t bother coming back at all !”
I nod grateful, and say that I’m leaving for my mothers in busan.
I hope it’s true . If our mission tonight is successful then I will take him there ........
Ha Jin Hyuk and his clan are gathered in a grove beneath the moonlight. Never before has there been a history of ghosts and exorcists cooperating in this way ! But now they must , if we fail , this will affect everyone in both the mortal and the spirit realms .
“What will happen if we cannot waken Choi hyun woo?” I ask the fox spirit again.
Fox shakes its head . “Disaster ........ the soul stone could lose its magic and the barrier between dimensions could fold into chaos..... natural law would collapse .......”
I place the soul stone on a larger slab of rock in the center of the clearing . The exorcists chant an ancient rite for maintaining a sealing barrier while the ghosts concentrate their blessing into the soul stone ....... I can do nothing but watch in wonder as Choi hyun Woo First appears as a blue wisp , then in a flash of light he rematerializes in front of me .....
He is still unconscious and I race forward to catch him as he falls against me . He is tall and much too heavy for me ! All I can really do is ease our collapse onto the ground .
The ghosts who gave their blessing are vanished .
The blue soul stone still glows ........
Fox steps forward ........ now I will find out if I am worthy .........: keen eyes blink as the tail twitches . When fox touches the stone it takes on the appearance of a human male ....... “I assume the duties of a geogugwi.......” and with that he disappears , leaving Choi hyun woo and I alone with the exorcist clan .
A few weeks later
I am walking along the boulevard with Choi hyun woo . It is after a performance and I feel a little shaky and hungry . He pulls me in close and I wrap my arm around his waist while he has his arm and jacket draped over my shoulder . Performers clothes are not very warm against the chill in the air tonight .
“How do you feel now ? “ I ask him
“My ears are ringing ........” he touches his free hand to one side of his head near his ear . “I felt like the movement of the music was affecting my heartbeat !”
He laughs lightly . “It’s so strange to have a heartbeat ......:. “ my stomach growls and he is uncertain whether it was his or mine . He looks down at his abdomen self consciously. “Si woo ...... I think I’m starving ...... it hurts!”
I laugh “that was my stomach growling ! Yes I’m starving too, let’s go get some food.”
As we eat , his eyes light up
“There are so many things .... I had no idea ...... the taste of rice cakes , the feeling of wind on your face , the light that lingers if you glance toward the sun too long.... why I can see pink even if I shut my eyes ! Even the pain when I stub my toe ....... it’s all precious to me ....... It’s so strange not to go to your performance and see the aura of everyone in the crowd amplifying off the energy you project .... but now I feel it ..... everything shakes with the reverberations of the music. Your voice reaches into my soul .....:. You carry me far away to any place ......... “
We leave the restaurant and walk home together. We reach my room,
Suddenly he frowns.
What’s wrong ? I place my hand over his .
I worry that this body makes me selfish ...... I want you ........ I always wanted to be with you but this is different , how do I explain ? His ears flush red and I reach to turn his face toward mine and kiss him.
I can feel the warmth of his breath in my mouth , the taste of his lips and his tongue . We linger after our kiss, eyes half closed and then we kiss again, slowly at first , but then more desperately , more forcefully . It is both a yearning and a promise .
I lay back against the pillows and he leans over me , resting himself against me ......
“Si woo.....” he says my name softly .
I grab the collar of his jacket to pull him closer .
“It’s ok, I want us to be together......”
“So do I , “ he pulls back slowly as tho trying to memorize my face in this moment . His hair is a mess from where I have been running my fingers through it .
“I just want to go slowly . I wish.... I wish our time together could last forever .......”
“It will , we will always be ......” I sit forward and bury my face against his chest , tucking my head beneath his chin.
“ I want to love you as you deserve to be loved ,” he traces the back of my hand lightly before bringing my fingertips to his lips for a light kiss .
I smile knowing , that he fell in love with my spirit long before he had a body . Chemical attraction is a fine thing , but I know our souls are joined for eternity.
Epilogue: Si Woo leaves the entertainment industry to pursue her college degree in counseling. She and Choi Hyun Woo have a daughter whom they name Yoon Seo...... as she dances and plays with her mommy , Si Woo wonders if her once friend and mentor has come back to her , their roles now much reversed ..... the little girl has a natural talent , and her dancing style is so strikingly similar to that of a once promising , aspiring and most ambitious trainee......... the little girl will sometimes say “you’re not the boss of me!”
And si woo will say , “but I am your mother ! “ looking stunned the little girl answers “oh , yeah ......... I guess that’s right .........”
ENDING ACHIEVED : UNDYING LOVE
———————————
If you didn’t wait ........
Fox and the ghosts assembled and attempted to bring Choi Hyun Woo out of the soul stone . But it seems without the exorcist clan’s help , the power harnessed by the soul stone is unstable . It shakes uncontrollably and blue energy radiates outward from the stone pulling me inside the space where I met Choi hyun woo in my dreams . He is there , and he’s awake ........
Si woo? What have they done ? He asks horrified .
The blue soul stone turns dark . The Natural laws of the universe are broken...... ghosts freely appear in the physical realm and time and space no longer respect their natural boundaries . The landscape becomes distorted and unpredictable as a nightmarish dream world . People are stuck in endless loops such as the one we encountered on the highway or as when I was first caught with the cat-faced granny on the bus ! People meet nonsensical monsters that they have no power to resist . The pandemonium spreads outward from our city ....... if the anomaly cannot be contained , it will engulf the entire globe .
Ha Jin Hyuk looks for me , but in vain . Choi Hyun Woo and I are not in the soul stone , nor are we in the mortal realm..... we are trapped in this empty space , we can see him studying the soul stone , but our cries Cannot reach him ........ the moment the soul stone was of no further use to fox , he disappeared, leaving us in this state of suspended animation . I don’t know how long we’ve been here ........ but I fear we both will sleep soon...... Choi hyun woo tries to comfort me , at least we are together, but I know what he’s not saying ..... there is no guarantee that if we fall asleep , that we will ever wake again.........
Where is my body ? Does it even still exist ? I fall asleep as if clutching the pendant that should be at my neck ...... I call out to Ha Jin Hyuk ........ “I’m sorry ...... please , please come help us ........”
ENDING: FAINT HOPE
◦