Chapter Text
“I’m not scared, so come out of your little world.
It’ll be all right. You can always destroy it.
You can destroy it, and then make a new one afterwards. There’s no end to the possibilities.
…I can’t take you with me. But from today on, your name is Aoba.”
***
Aoba pulled his tatty jacket closer about his thin frame, the cold of the ground seeping into his legs.
He was sitting just outside of the harsh light pooling from above, and Aoba glanced briefly at the dirty steel door set into the wall he rested against.
He could see his breath with each shallow puff he gave, could feel the tremble in his limbs and the slight burn in his fingers.
‘Not long...’ He kept thinking to himself, a tired mantra by now. It was the only thing keeping him going.
‘Let’s just go to the market, Aoba. There might still be something there.’
“There won’t be…” He muttered back, “I’m not missing a meal again because we wasted our time there.”
‘I’m bored of waiting.’
“Yeah well. This isn’t about you.”
‘But I am you.’
“Then why do I have to hear this every night?”
‘Because this is boring, Aoba.’
“Do you want to eat?”
‘Yes.’
“Then shut the fuck up and stop telling me what to do.” Aoba hissed.
He heard a cough above him, and looked across the alley to a scruffy old man giving him narrow eyes.
“Uh…” Aoba blushed a little, “N-not you.”
“Hm.” The man grunted and moved off, further into the dark.
Aoba sighed and looked back at the door.
It was almost 1 am. The takeaway would be closing soon and, as always, someone would be coming outside to toss out the waste food. It was the same every night.
Aoba was at least causing no annoyance by being here. He’d chatted to the old woman that owned the place, and she had agreed to let him take what he liked from the rubbish. It wasn’t exactly ideal, and he had learnt the hard way not to touch the fish or the prawn meals.
But after a day of scavenging and keeping away from thugs on the street, it was almost a relief to be able to eat something at least lukewarm and still tasty.
Another tremor ran through him, and Aoba wished he’d thought to bring a blanket or two with him from the den. The worst of the cold had passed by now, thankfully, but the nights still held a bite to them in this early spring.
Once they were done here, Aoba certainly looked forward to crawling home to his little claim and curling up there. He would take the food back with him and enjoy it in relative safety.
He always tried to eat as much as he could, to the point where his stomach hurt and his eyes grew heavy.
Walking home by that point was no fun at all. He was already exhausted.
“Ah.” Aoba straightened up a little, his eyes widening as he moved one hand to his stomach. A moment passed, and another small jolt had him looking down nervously.
‘It’s moving again...’
Aoba breathed out through his nose, rubbing the taut skin where he could feel the kicking.
“It’s so weird…”
‘You’re scared.’
“I’m not.”
A laugh rang in his ears and Aoba rolled his eyes. He let his legs stretch out across the rough tarmac, allowing his somewhat awkwardly shaped stomach more space.
‘You’re scared. Whatever it is, It seems like it’s almost ready to come out.’
“Is that supposed to make me feel better…?” Aoba whispered, feeling his eyes prickle.
‘Make of it what you want. You can just leave it somewhere when it comes, and then I’ll have an easier time stealing shit for us again.’
“Leave it somewhere…? But…”
‘Yes. We have a hard enough time feeding ourselves as it is.’
Aoba sniffled, looking ten feet or so down to the mouth of the alley. He could see people on the main street as they passed by, having fun, laughing, going to interesting places.
“It needs to come out first. I don’t even know how that will happen.”
Aoba was stuck in the dark, both figuratively and literally, waiting for his dinner while hoping to god that no one dangerous found him. Neither he nor the other in his head entirely understood what was happening to them. His belly had been growing ever since he had been kicked out of his old home, five or so months ago. It was in the past couple of days that it had started moving around, twitching and kicking lightly every so many hours. They were fully aware that it was alive, and his other half was certain in the most bitter of ways that the thing was sapping all of their energy.
Taking what they needed was already awkward enough with the size Aoba was now, and they knew it would only get worse. For the first few months they had been doing alright; Eating just enough and keeping on the move. Especially keeping on the move. Staying anywhere in this city was a risk. Remaining in one place was even more so, but as Aoba had grown, their options had reduced. It wasn’t as if he could easily leap walls anymore.
So they were staying in places for longer than they should have been, and much closer to the shopping district than before. Aoba simply couldn’t cope with the distances they had once travelled to at least keep themselves out of sight, and now not only that, food was definitely becoming a problem.
Before the old woman had agreed to somewhat feed Aoba, they had come dangerously close to starving. All sharp corners and sunken eyes, with hardly any energy left. Aoba had basically collapsed outside of her Takeaway one night, unable to make it all the way home on his own steam.
Shio, at least Aoba thought that was her name, had given him some leftovers on the doorstep just to get him going again. He’d been coming back ever since, and she hardly seemed to mind.
‘My bet is you’ll shit it out.’
Aoba blushed suddenly, burying his face in his hands as the voice brought him back to the present, “What are you even saying? You’re so gross…”
‘Me? You’re the one who fucked a guy without even asking me about it first.’
“And why the hell would I?!”
‘You consult me for almost everything else.’
“No, you butt in and state your opinion where it’s not wanted!”
‘Hm. Bit harsh. Do you not like me?’
“How can I.” Aoba grumbled, “You make things hard for me. I don’t even know your name.”
A light chuckle, ‘My name? My name is Aoba, idiot. Besides. Who is it who’s keeping us alive in the daytime? Me. Because you’re too scared to do anything without me.’
“I’m not scared…” Aoba repeated once more, his tiredness only growing.
-Desire. Leave Aoba alone-
‘Ew. Who invited you?’
Aoba looked past his fingers, frowning at the second voice. The kind one.
“Where have you been?”
-Sleeping… It’s hard to stay awake...-
‘Good. Cuz no one wants you here anyway.’
“I want him here.”
‘Well nobody asked you.’ Irritation crept into Desires voice. That wasn’t his name, but it was how Restraint, the second voice, referred to him.
-I ask that you behave, else I will make you. Aoba has enough to worry about.-
‘Whatever. You two are no fun.’
“I don’t want to have fun, I just want some peace.” Aoba muttered sadly, rubbing his eyes.
His mind seemed to grow quiet after that, and he was left alone. For a while he was fine like that, and as the time crept closer to 1am, Aoba found himself more focused upon his imploding stomach than anything else. He was starving…
The iron door suddenly screeched open, sending Aoba’s heart into his mouth out of fear.
He fell a little to the side, his body so ungainly now that he couldn’t have gone from sitting to running even if he'd wanted to. He looked up at the frowning old takeaway owner, his eyes the size of golf balls, and saw the cardboard box held within her arms.
Aoba took a few breaths to calm himself. He could only suppose that he had been about to fall asleep; It was all he wanted to do at this point. Looking back to Shio’s frown, which he had mistaken at first for annoyance, he now realised that she was looking at him with concern.
“Are you okay?” She asked uncertainly. Aoba nodded, quick and nervous as he struggled onto his feet.
He was a small boy, not having quite hit his growth spurt yet. Considering his poor eating however, Aoba supposed that it wouldn’t do too much good for his height anyway. He leaned a little against the wall, his baggy jacket somewhat hiding the shape of his stomach.
“Here.” Shio carefully handed over the box. Aoba looked inside and felt his stomach ache even more. It was filled with leftover noodles and meat as well as some rice in two boxes. He was almost never given rice.
“Thank you.” He whispered, wearing a genuine smile, “I really needed this.”
“I know…” The woman held up a hand, “Wait there one moment.”
Aoba raised an eyebrow as she disappeared back into the shop. He glanced around the alley while he waited, wondering how much of a target he was with the mildly okay food held in his arms.
“Young boy, take this.”
He looked up, eyes widening when she dropped a pair of fingerless gloves into the box as well as some water.
“W-... You don’t need to…”
“I saw you shivering earlier… I can’t afford to do much more than that but… I just hope it helps. Find somewhere safe tonight.” She gave him a weak smile and a nod, before disappearing back inside. The door remained open, and Aoba could hear the sound of rubbish being piled into bags indoors, ready to be thrown out.
She had even sorted the best of the food into the box for him so he didn’t have to search through those bags. She’d never done that before.
‘Finally. Now get moving.’
“Yeah, I fucking know…”
Aoba slinked away down the alley, keeping to the darkness as much as he could. He paused after a short way and put the box down to take up the gloves, now that his hands were practically numb. It was a small relief to have the gloves, even if his fingers didn't receive any warmth from them.
His little hide away was not far from there. In between a warehouse and an old generator, a sheet of corrugated metal sat at an angle. Beneath that was a tattered box, filled with two old blankets and a myriad of papers.
Aoba left the box next to the shelter as he shuffled inside on his hands and knees. He sighed at the weight on his back as he did so, wincing at the ache that radiated from his lumbar. It was good to be able to sit down in a moderately comfortable place, and the generator that churned not so quietly beside the shelter helped to warm the air just a little.
Covering himself in the papers and sheets, he pulled the box of food toward himself and finally dug in.