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Dr. Yui Tanaka loved being a doctor. Of course, she knew that some days were better than others. It was always hard dealing with patients and families when there was nothing to be done, but it was more than fulfilling when there was in fact something to be done. She loved being able to help people and get everyone back to their daily lives. She loved seeing the smiles on patient and family faces when patients got discharged. She loved coming home after a hard shift knowing that she’d made a difference.
Dealing with 8 drunk young pro-heroes because one of them ate a wedding ring that was embedded in a cupcake was not one of those things she loved.
“Your friend is going to be just fine. We located the foreign object on the x-ray and have determined that it’s best to let it pass naturally. We’ve given him some laxatives and a tray for object retrieval. The hospital staff won’t be dealing with any of the retrieval, but I imagine the object is something you’d like back.” Dr. Tanaka explains to Eijirou, who is sitting on the ground of the hospital waiting room, tears in his eyes and icing splattered through his now messy hair.
“Oh my god, thank you.” Mina leaps and hugs Dr. Tanaka.
Dr. Tanaka sighs slightly and pats Mina’s back as she gives an appraising look to the rest of the drunk heroes gathered in the waiting room.
Being a doctor, Yui followed the careers of many upcoming heroes because she’d inevitably see some of them cross through the hospital. Thankfully, none of them were her current patient other than Chargebolt, who was undoubtedly laid out in great discomfort, but out of the heroes in front of her, she had personally treated Dynamight, Uravity, and Earphone Jack.
As good of a hero as he was, Yui couldn’t stand dealing with Dynamight. He always came in, refusing to be treated and howling like a child. He’d be petulant and pouty about the entire process even when the required procedures were explained. Earphone Jack was pretty much just neutral about the whole thing and trusted her doctor’s expertise, which Yui greatly appreciated.
Yui’s favourite, though, was Uravity. The gravity hero always had a smile on her face even when in excruciating pain. The cheerful hero obviously also loved what she did and clearly had the same motivations as Yui herself. Uravity would always ask meaningful questions about the procedures and seem like she actually gave the whole process a lot of thought. Yui and Uravity had talked at length about how support systems for rescue victims needed to be improved, and over their interactions, Yui had grown quite fond of the vivacious hero.
So, despite how ridiculous she thought the situation was, she softened at the sight of an out-of-costume Uravity sitting on one of the waiting room chairs, swinging her legs and eating a popsicle that she obviously got from the convenience store across the street.
After comforting Mina and Eijirou, Yui walked up to Ochako, who was now laughing at something that Katsuki said in the seat beside her.
“Nice to see you outside of the ER for once, Uravity.” Yui smiles and says as a small blush creeps up her neck.
Ochako’s eyes go wide and some of her popsicle drips onto her chin and her shirt. “Dr. Tanaka! Are ya in charge of fixin’ up Denki?” She slurs her question a bit as her accent creeps in.
Katsuki scowls and wipes the melted popsicle drippings from her face with his sleeve. “Fuckin’ learn to eat, Cheeks.” He growls out, completely oblivious to the conversation between the women.
Yui eyes the interactions between the sweetest and grumpiest heroes she’d ever met before she nods. “I am. Your friend will be fine, but he might not be happy that he now has to recover the ring after passing it.” She lets out a small laugh.
Ochako scrunches up her face. “I dunno if that’s even the grossest thing he’s ever done.” Her eyes turn distant as if trying to search through her compendium of ‘stupid shit that Denki’s ever done and lived to tell the tale’.
“Well, that’s disconcerting, but from what I know of him in the last hour, not really that surprising.” Yui shrugs.
“Yah, he’s an eat first, questions later kinda guy…” Ochako hiccups and trails off before snapping back up to the doctor. “I’m really glad yer his doc, though. Yer nice and really good at yer job!” She grins wide with her eyes half lidded.
Yui laughs lightly and touches Ochako’s arm. “Thank you, make sure you and all your friends drink some water.”
Katsuki bares his teeth as he notices the gesture. He glares at the doctor and swings his arm around the back of Ochako’s chair as his other hand nudges at Ochako’s popsicle that’s now fully dripping down her arm.
Yui raises an eyebrow at the gruff man’s actions as she walks back to check on her other patients.
Ochako sighs in contentment before going back to licking her popsicle.
“Oi, make sure Round Face doesn’t choke on the fuckin’ popsicle sticks.” Katsuki snaps at Kyouka, who’s perhaps the least drunk out of everyone. Katsuki comes back with a wad of damp paper towels from the bathroom and starts to wipe off Ochako’s hand and face after she finishes with her treat.
“Mmphf. I can do it myself!” Ochako pouts and grabs at the towels.
Katsuki rolls his eyes. “I know, dumbass.” He quips but continues wiping her off.
“D’ya think Mina is gonna wear the poo ring?” Ochako asks, eyes wide with genuine curiosity. “Ya know, after it gets fished out.” She waves her hands as if she were trying to dig.
Katsuki slouches down in his chair and throws his arm back over her chair, tugging himself a bit closer. “You fuckin’ see how Raccoon Eyes looks at Shitty Hair? She’d wear a ring made of shit if he gave it to her.”
Ochako’s mouth falls open and she curiously watches Mina and Eijirou. The two begin to flutter their eyes shut with Mina resting her head on her sort-of fiance’s shoulder.
“That’s beautiful.” Ochako whispers and leans forward to rest her head on her hands.
Katsuki flicks the back of her head lightly. “Playin’ archeologist through Pikachu’s literal shit ain’t ‘beautiful’.” He sneers in disgust.
Ochako frowns and turns her head slightly to look up at him as a strand of hair falls into her face. “Not that, ewww. But Mina and Ei gettin’ married!”
Katsuki gulps at the sight of her flushed cheeks and her silky brown hair tickling her nose. Even in the ugly fluorescent light of the hospital and her makeup starting to run from the hectic night, he thinks she looks perfect.
“Ugh, why’s it so hard to meet people?” Ochako continues. “All I want is someone to tuck me in at night and give me cute little smooches.” She blows out through her nose and mouth, trying to get the stray hair strand off her face without having to use her hands.
Katsuki gently tucks the hair behind her ear and lets his finger linger against her cheek for a little longer than he would have if he were completely sober.
Ochako must have noticed the action because she turns to look at him again with slightly parted lips and expectant eyes.
The two of them had been working together with Miruko since they became pro heroes. Katsuki had always thought she was a strong hero, but seeing her every day coupled with her increased presence at ‘Bakusquad’ made him see her in a whole new light. Soon enough, her bright smile became the highlight of his day. The two went out for dinner (and mochi) far too often for just friends, and the two had even started keeping some clothes and other belongings at each others’ apartments. They had really just been dancing around each other without taking the first step toward a romantic relationship, but even the two of them weren’t so dense as to think there was nothing there.
Even all their friends knew that they were basically just dating each other but just needed to make it official.
Of course, when Eijirou was planning the whole party that got them into their current mess, the redhead had hoped that his best friend would finally take the opportunity to find the same happiness that he and Mina had.
Katsuki’s eyebrows shoot up in realization at closeness with Ochako, his hand still cupping her face. He quickly moves back, clears his throat, and tries to force a scowl onto his face again. “The fuckin’ doc was flirtin’ with you.” He says in a low voice.
Ochako sits back up and looks at him in shock. “I’ve never dated a doctor before!” She grins and claps.
“Oi! That doesn’t fuckin’ mean you’re datin’ now.” He pouts.
“She’s so pretty, though!” Ochako’s eyes twinkle.
Katsuki huffs and crosses his arm as he sinks into the chair even further. “I’m pretty too.” He mumbles.
Ochako’s hands go up to her mouth as she carefully scans his face. “Oh my god, you are!” She exclaims while bringing up a hand to his messy hair. “And your hair’s so soft too!” She hums and drags her nails along his scalp as his eyes flutter shut. He can’t help but lean into her touch as he’d wanted to for years.
As much as Katsuki had grown tolerant of parties and larger crowds over the years, he still very much preferred the quiet moments, where he could just let out a breath. He wasn’t exactly happy about having to go to a whole party for his best friend’s engagement plan, but he also knew it wasn’t about him.
The night had started out innocent enough. Ochako and Momo took Mina out to a new cocktail bar to keep her away from the apartment. Katsuki had come over early to help Eijirou bake the cupcakes that Eijirou had the bright idea of stuffing with the engagement ring. The redhead had insisted that despite all of Katsuki’s help, he’d be the one to make the proposal cupcake all by himself. He had to pick out eggshells from the batter and had to wipe off the piped decoration 4 times, but with some motivational yelling from his best friend, Eijirou had ended up with a lopsided but heartfelt chocolate lava cupcake.
As their friends started showing up, the drinks started flowing more and more freely. Everyone except Mina knew that this was the proposal night, but nobody except for Katsuki and the future groom knew how the proposal was actually supposed to happen.
They were all supposed to have fun, play some drinking games, order pizza, try and drag Katsuki to the inevitable dance party, and then, Eijirou would announce that it’s time for dessert and he’d plate the special cupcake and watch as the love of his life cut into it only to see a ring in the middle of the gooey chocolate center.
Eijirou absolutely did not plan on fishing out the ring from an entirely different brown substance.
After a couple drinks, Katsuki had basically latched onto Ochako’s side. When she went to the kitchen to fish out more snacks, he went with her. When she stepped out onto Eijirou’s apartment balcony, he went with her under the pretense of getting some air.
She’d try to hold back on the proposal secret and Katsuki would keep teasing her about how her stealth hero skills were so much better than her secret keeping skills.
Ochako would try to mix a drink, and when half of it spilled on the counter, or when she used salt instead of sugar, Katsuki would help her clean up and chuckle deeply at her salty alcoholic sweet tea.
Hanta and Kyouka had decided to wrap Denki in Hanta’s tape when they challenged him to drink without use of his arms or hands for the rest of the night. Denki jumped around like a mummy and almost swallowed multiple shot glasses when he decided to just open his mouth and glug them back like a fish.
Mina, Momo, and Eijirou all decided that they’d look up Youtube videos for the most ridiculous hairstyles and try them on each other. Thanks to an elaborate updo video that incorporated cupcakes, Eijirou had ended up with icing covering his red locks.
Of course, because the cupcakes came out for this hair experiment, Denki decided that he’d go bobbing for apples but with cupcakes.
It wasn’t until the electric hero started complaining about a stomach ache did Eijirou realize the abrupt change in plans his evening was about to take.
Thankfully, even when drunk, their training kicked in and they were able to get Denki to the hospital.
“Should we get Denks some snacks?” Hanta, who had been making tape dresses for the matryoshka dolls that Momo kept drunkenly making, asks as he scans the rest of the group.
The question wakes Mina and Ei up, both of whom drag their hands through their faces and take in a deep breath before blinking themselves fully awake.
“Is the ring here yet?” Momo slurs sleepily and Kyouka gently pats her girlfriend’s head.
“No, Denki’s just goin’ through labour for it now.” Kyouka grins impishly, holding back full snickering. “And, I dunno about gettin’ him snacks right now… He’s gonna have to shit it all out anyways.” Kyouka breaks and bends over in laughter.
“Oh my god, I didn’t even get to see the ring!” Mina exclaims in a sudden realization, eyes starting to water up. “Ei,” she whines, “the first time I’m gonna see the ring, it’s gonna be covered in poo.” Mina frowns and wipes back some tears.
“We’ll get him to clean it first, babe.” Eijirou offers.
“It’s a nice ring.” Katsuki says, low enough just for Ochako to hear.
“I know.” Ochako rolls her eyes. “Who do you think told him what Mina’s dream ring design was?”
Katsuki huffs. “Well, who the fuck went to the store to buy it?” He says as if it’s a competition.
“Excuse you, there wouldn’t have been a ring to buy if I didn’t tell him about how she’s had a design picked out since UA.” Ochako crosses her arms and sticks out her tongue. “Besides, I was on a mission in Korea that week.”
Katsuki scoffs. “Not a chance in hell he’d pick you over his best man to go ring shoppin’.”
Ochako lets out a small growl that makes Katsuki have to fight back a wide grin. “This is bride stuff too, so of course the maid of honour is gonna be involved!”
“Man, you guys are gonna be insufferable for your own wedding.” Kyouka states bluntly before turning back to help Momo sober up.
Ochako goes bright red while sporting a small smile and starts to play with her finger pads as Katsuki observes her out of the corner of his eye, his face equally red.
Thankfully, once again, Hanta has the impeccable timing to interrupt.
“Guys, I got some more chips, a melon bread, strawberry Pocky, a can of tuna, and 3 onigiris.” He looks a bit out of breath, obviously having run from the convenience store across the street holding a bag full of what can only loosely be categorized as a snacks.
Katsuki pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why the fuck did you buy a can of-”
“Oh! I’ll take the tuna.” Mina interrupts.
Katsuki shakes his head in disbelief.
“What? I didn’t get to eat the pizza and obviously didn’t get to eat my ring cupcake!” Mina tries to defend herself as she digs into the small can.
“Pocky for Ochako please! I’ll share of course!” Ochako opens the box and offers some to Kyouka, who refuses, and Momo, who accepts.
“Fuck it.” Katsuki grumbles and scarfs down an onigiri in one bite, almost choking on his own hubris.
Ochako chuckles before offering Katsuki a pocky. He waves a hand in refusal and she pouts before putting an end in her mouth.
“Pocky game?” She raises an eyebrow in challenge, feeling bold under her drunkenness.
Katsuki’s not drunk. He’s definitely stone cold sober. So, there’s no way that he’s going to get tricked into playing the stupid Pocky game that this round faced angel in front of him has just offered to play with him of all people. He’s absolutely not going to get sucked into this.
He gulps and sees her lips around the pocky stick. His gaze flits up to her eyes, wide in amusement. Before he can stop himself, his body just moves and he aggressively bites off most of the Pocky, letting their noses graze.
“Hey! That’s not how you play!” Ochako whines as she chews on the remainder of the stick.
Katsuki smirks and shrugs. “I got more of the stupid candy. Think that means I win.”
Ochako looks down and grumbles. “Pocky’s not candy…”
“The foreign object has likely passed now. I suspect you’d like him to face the consequences of his action alone, but I figured I should update all of you on the situation.” Yui steps out of the medical wing door and fills everyone in.
Ochako perks up at the doctor’s voice and nods with a big smile. Katsuki notices her uptick in energy at Dr. Tanaka’s presence, and he swings his arm right over her shoulder to tuck her much smaller being into his side.
Ochako stumbles slightly at the movement but grins toothily as she puts an arm around his waist. “You gonna play the Pocky game with me for real yet?” She looks up at him in feigned innocence.
Katsuki’s jaw hangs slack and he looks between Ochako and the doctor, who is now talking to Mina and Momo. “You conniving little chipmunk.” He growls out and glares at her.
Ochako shrugs and starts to chew on another Pocky when Katsuki grabs her chin and tilts it upward so she can meet his intense stare. He mumbles a swear before he bites his way through the Pocky to meet Ochako’s lips.
Ochako inhales sharply at the warmth of his mouth on hers, but it’s gone far too quickly for her liking. She pouts and tugs on his sleeve and he just peers down at her with a raised eyebrow.
“Are you gonna tuck me into bed and give me lots of smoochies?” She bats her eyes without even trying to fight the heat crawling up her neck.
Katsuki blinks a few times before bursting out in muted but genuine laughter. He pulls her in closer and kisses the top of her head quickly while everyone else is distracted with the doctor’s updates. “Fuck yeah I am, Cheeks.”
“I can make him some gloves and a sieve!” Momo chimes loudly. She was still talking to Mina about the ring situation, and the two women seemed to be brainstorming the best ways to get the ring back without offending anyone’s noses.
“Can you make me a pair too?” Eijirou asks. “It was my stupid idea to put it in a cupcake in a first place.” He sighs deeply with a slight frown.
Mina pats his back in comforting circles. “Babe, you put it in a lava cake. Nobody eats those in one bite.”
“You even marked it with a little natto design for Mina’s fav food. Denki’s just an idiot.” Kyouka scoffs and rolls her eyes.
“I’ll help too.” Hanta grimaces and says begrudgingly. “Sooner we get the ring cleaned up, the sooner we can celebrate for real, yeah?”
The rest of them sigh and nod as Momo churns out multiple pairs of gloves.
“Cannot fuckin’ believe this night ended in us siftin’ through actual shit.” Katsuki grumbles.
“Now you know not to stick a ring in a cupcake for your own proposal, bro.” Eijirou says, carefully eyeing Ochako.
Katsuki flicks the side of his best friend’s head. “No shit. You think I’m puttin’ anythin’ in Round Face’s food? She’s like fuckin’ Kirby!” He whisper-yells in return.
Eijirou cracks a wide grin for the first time since the party emergency. “I never said anything about Ochako.”
Before Katsuki can save face, the group is ushered into Denki’s little hospital bunk.
“Guysssss.” Denki cries and grabs onto Eijirou’s shirt while trying to usher Mina into the poorly implemented hug. “I’m sorryyy! I promise to never eat your engagement ring ever again!” The electric blond is now full-on ugly crying with snot running down his nose and tears mixed in with sweat down his face.
“I know, buddy, I know.” Eijirou pats his back as Mina pats his head.
“The doc said we can use the sterilizer. We just gotta fish it out.” Mina scrunches her nose in disgust.
So the group put on their gloves and took turns sifting through the fruit of Denki’s loins. All for a good cause, they all thought to themselves.
Eijirou didn’t end up getting the proposal he had planned and Mina knew that everytime she looked at the ring, she’d think of the night when she and her closest friends drunkenly sifted through shit. Still, at the end of the night, the two got to go home, newly affianced, and looking forward to the rest of their lives.
True to his word, Katsuki did in fact tuck Ochako in and give her the smoochies he’d wanted to for so long.
Momo and Kyouka decided that they were going to be laying off chocolate for the forseeable future.
Hanta went home, happily single and thankful that he didn’t have to deal with the pressures of engagements, relationships, or laxatives in his life.
Denki, however, was really craving a midnight cupcake given how he didn’t actually get to keep the one he ate in his stomach.