Chapter Text
Everything came rushing in. The thoughts of fleeing this place kept her on her toes. Bolting out the bathroom door would be so easy. It was right there, so close. She knew she could make it, and run. Run away from what Carmilla just told her. What she has become.
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They stood there silently, letting the words hang in the air. The air that felt heavy in Laura’s lungs. The lungs that were expanding and contracting at such a pace, any human would be on the ground trying to process the amount of oxygen that was being forced in and out of them.
She had wanted this. She pleaded with Carmilla for months, saying that they were losing time. Carmilla always laughed at that statement. How could she not understand? Being a vampire had three true meanings to it: scaring people off is easy, blood is how you survive, and that time has no more meaning. Because you have all of it. Forever. Carmilla laughed especially hard (as sarcastically as possible) when Laura used time as an excuse for her to be turned into… a vampire. A monster.
But that’s the thing. Laura never viewed vampirism in that way. She never saw Carmilla as a monster. Yes, she had been frightened. Oh god had she been frightened, but only when she had no choice. Only when she didn’t understand Carmilla.
But now she understood Carmilla and all the reasons for this change to be held off for as long as possible. That part was obvious. Laura looked like she was going to vomit.
Laura could sense everything going on around her. The record player upstairs was still silently playing Fleetwood Macs Rumours album. The refrigerator had the smallest hum to it. The sink was the most obnoxious off white anyone had ever seen. The clear glass Carmilla held had a yellow tint to it, something that Laura wouldn’t have noticed before. Before…
That’s when Carmilla slowly lifted the glass in front of her, offering it to Laura without a word. Laura didn’t move. Couldn’t move rather, as every possible sensor on her body found a new thing to focus on with the slightest of movements. How her shirt felt on her shoulders intrigued her. The fabric sat lightly on her skin, shifting with every breath she took. Her jeans had an odd scratchy feel to them (that wasn’t a noticeable feel before otherwise Laura would have never purchased them). She had the sudden urge to take them off.
Within a second they were on the ground in front of her.
Carmilla gave Laura a surprised, but rather understanding smile. She retreated to the door, looking at Laura before she disappeared for a few seconds, only to return with her favorite sweats and a large hoodie that was lined inside with soft fuzzy fabric. She then grabbed the biggest towel out of the closet and placed it by the shower behind Laura.
In the softest voice possible Carmilla said, “Do you want help with a shower? Or I can draw you a bath in the main bathroom. It might help.. process things.”
Without making eye contact, Laura nodded her head once, too focused on how the fabric of her shirt shifted slightly when she bobbed her head. It sent a shiver down her back.
Laura slowed her breathing then, hoping it would deter her focus on the fabric that was touching her shoulders and back.
Carmilla took a few steps forward to stand within arm’s reach of Laura.
“Can I help you out of these clothes? I promise not to look, or touch you, err- if you don’t want. I just want you to get through these first few… things. I know this is all new Laura. And I know how it can be so god damn scary… I need you to talk to me right now…”
Laura stood there with focused eyes, though she wasn’t looking at anything in particular. Her jaw was slack, with her mouth closed. Carmilla could tell she was trying to cope with all of the thoughts and feelings of being a baby vampire.
Even 300 years ago the heightened senses were difficult for Carmilla to get used to, and that is probably what Laura is so keenly fixated on. She remembers sitting for days watching the reeds by a pond grow, seeing the dragonflies land on them, and being able to see every detail on their transparent wings.
At this point Carmilla was getting nervous. She tried to break the silence with some of her banter.
“I don’t think you’ve been without words for this long in the 4 years that I’ve known you, Cupcake. I know I’m probably going to regret saying this, but I miss the sound of your voice.”
That’s when Laura finally shifted her eyes to Carmilla’s.
Carmilla sighed, giving Laura a soft smile.
“Talk to me, baby. What do you need? Want? What do you feel?”
Laura furrowed her brow and mumbled, “Cupcake…”
“What? Do you want a cupcake? I can go ge-“
“Say it again.”
“Cupcake?”
Laura nodded and let her head lull off to the side with a happy expression on her face.
“Okay, uh, Cupcake.. do you want me to help you?”
She nodded her head again, closing her eyes when she lifted her arms above her head. Carmilla grabbed the seam of her top, being careful not to touch Laura’s skin, acting as if she would burst into flames if there was any contact between them.
After getting her bra and underwear off without a hitch, Carmilla turned on the shower slowly, watching Laura’s face to make sure nothing changed emotionally (relying on facial expressions isn’t the best way to judge emotion, but honestly, who knows what is going through her head emotion wise). She seemed fine, even as the steam started to accumulate around them.
Laura looked around, focusing on the clouds of mist around the waterfall from the shower head.
Carmilla put her hand out, giving Laura a crooked smile.
“May I help you into the tub, Cupcake?”
Laura hesitantly put her hand up in front of her face, as if she was going to observe it, but she then pushed it forward towards Carmilla. Laura’s hand touched Carmilla’s very lightly at first, and then it gripped down hard. Carmilla knew that Laura was going to be strong, but wow. That was some grip she had.
Laura’s lips parted as Carmilla’s hand in hers became all she could think about.
A large smile formed on Laura’s face. “You feel different.”
“Oh, is that okay...?”
What the hell Carmilla. It’s not like you can make yourself physically feel different for her. Why did even say-
Laura stroked her thumb up and down Carmilla’s, drawing her attention back to Laura who was smiling so big.
“You feel good. So, SO good. Your hands are soft... Carm, you are so beautiful.”
Carmilla just wanted to hug her, to hold her. But she stopped herself, knowing that could be too much for Laura to handle right now. Instead she guided Laura gently towards the shower, pulling the curtain aside. She took Laura’s hand, facing it palm up, running it under the stream of water.
The look on Laura’s face was of utter bewilderment.
The feeling of water took her by surprise. She pulled back a bit, just letting the spray tickle her fingertips.
They stood there like this for ten minutes before Laura came out of her thoughts and said, “I never noticed the feeling of water before. How it pools together, swirls into itself.”
Carmilla stood there silently, still holding Laura’s hand up to the water. She just needed to be touching Laura, to reassure Laura, and herself really, that everything was going to be okay, no matter how absolutely overwhelming everything was right now.
Finally Laura stepped into the shower.
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All comments and constructive criticisms are greatly appreciated! I will be posting another chapter soon.
Enjoy!