Work Text:
Kelly Olsen’s life is pretty much void of certainties. If she thinks long and hard, there are only two things she can be sure of after Brainy and J’onn corner her at work: 1) this is unprofessional to the point the American Psychological Association would take away her accreditation in a heartbeat, and 2) she loves Alex Danvers, her sister, and their friends too much to tell Brain and J’onn no.
They fell victim to the Fear Knots, Kelly. You must understand that it is of paramount importance that they can process those fears.
Kelly, I consider you a sixth level intellect so you and I both know a basic, intense emotion aroused by the detection of imminent threat, involving an immediate alarm reaction that mobilizes the organism by triggering a set of physiological changes will inevitably traumatize our friends at the utmost inconvenient times and I know you are capable of helping them.
They do not possess your coping mechanisms, and we can hardly have them talk to regular psychologists about the Phantom Zone. You are our only hope, Kelly.
J’onn does not want to wipe their minds and I am afraid my proposing that fear is experienced when avoiding or escaping an aversive stimulus and that anxiety is experienced when entering a potentially dangerous situation and they should therefore avoid potentially dangerous situations, will not be considered useful advice taking into account what they do for a living.
After ten minutes of hearing reasons why she should, and ten minutes of her trying to say why she should not, Kelly Olsen gave in and agreed with the two aliens.
The female Super Friends needed therapy.
* * *
Three days later, Kelly finds herself sitting in her office, wondering how the hell this is going to work. There is no way she can distance herself properly from any of the four women currently sitting in her waiting room. One of them is a close friend, the second she’s dating, the third is practically her sister-in-law and the fourth… She does not even want to go there. The bottom line is they are practically family - or as Kara put it many moons ago, framily (“It’s friends you choose as your family!”), and there is no way she can be clinical when it comes to people, she is this close to. She’s an Olsen, not a Luthor.
With a final sigh, she swings open her office door and peeks her head around the corner.
“Nia?” she smiles at the youngest of the foursome, “Come on in.”
* * *
“This is so weird,” Nia mumbles the second she walks into the office, “thanks for doing this.”
“No problem at all,” Kelly smiles, “Take a seat.”
After a few moments of looking around, Nia takes a seat in the armchair near the window.
“Very cushy.”
Nia Nal, Kelly learns, has seen the inside of a therapist’s office before. A few months while she was in middle school, another few months when she was studying journalism. One session after Brainy’s poetic exploits almost drove her up the wall. As far as patients go, Nia turns out to be a dream (the irony doesn’t elude her). She is forthcoming, she does not need any prompting to talk about trauma, she does not even seem to need any of the coping mechanisms and corner stones that Kelly has readily available. There’s a brief pause when Nia recounts exactly what happened aboard the Tower spaceship, and Kelly makes sure to not interrupt her until her version of events comes to a natural halt.
“I have thought about it,” the brunette sighs, “The phantoms just knew exactly how to throw me off my game. I have struggled in the past with all this… dream interpretation. And I knew I had to bring my A game, but in the moment I couldn’t, and I watched Brainy die and,” she pauses again, “it got to me.”
Fear of failure. Kelly writes it down in curly writing. Persistent anxiety about failing to measure up to the standards and goals set by oneself or others. She underlines the ‘oneself’ once before looking back at the young woman in front of her.
“Your main fear was the death of Brainy?” Kelly asks carefully.
“No,” Nia frowns, “no, that sounds awful but - no. My biggest fear was that we would not be able to bring Kara back, to not be able to dream what I should be dreaming. I just don’t know how to interpret things correctly all the time, and it’s been draining me. I just - sometimes I think I’m not good enough. Everyone always tells me that I’m doing great and all, it’s just,” Nia sighs, “I feel bad because sometimes I miss things. And that makes everyone’s life harder. And then they have to take time out of that hard life to console me and tell me I am doing well when it’s obviously not the case. Sometimes I just feel like a burden,” Nia taps her fingers against the cushion, restless as ever, “you feel me?”
Anxiety. Kelly notes, circling it twice. Self-compassion to buffer neg impact of stress?
“What would you say are your strong suits?”
Nia leans back in the armchair, pondering.
“In daily life? I’m patient.” Nia shrugs, “It’s the Dreamer part of me that is not.”
“And what do you think are your pitfalls?”
“Anything that requires me to act promptly.”
The ease with which Nia comes up with answers, is refreshing. Kelly makes a few more notes.
“Is it bad?” Nia asks suddenly, “I know you can’t tell me if I’m like, doing really bad.”
“You’re doing great,” Kelly smiles, “I’m just documenting.”
Ten minutes later Nia is leaving, a pamphlet with self-compassion tips tucked away in her bag and a promise of Kelly that she can call her anytime she ever wants to discuss Brainy, or her dreams. Nia seems relieved, and promises she’ll call.
* * *
“Hey baby.”
Alex is not interested in professional boundaries at all. It takes her a grand total of five seconds after walking through the door to cup Kelly’s face gently and press her lips onto her girlfriend’s.
“Alex.” Kelly can’t help but grin, “I’m trying to be professional here.”
“Yeah, fuck that,” Alex sighs, “I have spent the past hour sitting in that waiting room with Kara and Lena, if I didn’t need therapy before, I definitely do now.”
“Oh?” Kelly walks over to her desk, back to the trusty notepad, “How come?”
“They have not said a single word to each other, babe.” Alex whines, “Kara keeps going to the bathroom and trying to talk to your receptionist about therapy animals, and Lena,” her girlfriend sighs, “she brought a book. She’s reading.”
“I do wonder why you thought carpooling here would be a good idea.” Kelly smiles, “Are you going to sit here and wait two more hours until they are done?”
“God no,” Alex mumbles, “I don’t like this at all, the faster I’m out of here, the better.”
“I’m trying very hard not to take offence here.”
“We could have done this at home,” Alex continues, “literally in the comfort of our home.”
“Boundaries,” Kelly smiles, “right, take a seat,” she gestures as Alex looks at her in confusion, “anywhere you like, really. Whatever looks comfiest.”
Alex ends up sitting on the sofa, patting the seat next to her for Kelly to join. Kelly mumbles a soft ‘idiot’ and sits herself down in the armchair Nia was previously occupying. When her girlfriend leans back in the sofa and looks around the office, Kelly can almost feel the other woman’s demeanor shift. The more jokey Alex was prior to sitting down, the more serious she looks now.
“Is there anything you want to share with me?”
There’s a brief flicker of amusement in Alex’s eyes.
“Nothing I have not already said.”
Part of her wants to point out that Alex’s panic attacks in the middle of the night and her subsequent ramblings while Kelly gently strokes her back and reassures her that they are in Alex’s home, doesn’t quite equal sharing in a professional-patient way.
“Babe, try.”
With a final pet name, she kicks professionalism to the curb.
“I don’t think any of this can be helpful,” Alex admits, “if there is anything I might need help with, it’s maybe the fact I’m a perfectionist.”
“Self-awareness is very important,” Kelly says gently, “so when you can recognize you are a perfectionist and that sometimes… hinders you, that’s a very positive thing.”
The subtle praise propels Alex to divulge more. While she shifts on the sofa in order to sit up somewhat straighter, Kelly subtle clicks the ballpoint pen before pressing down onto the notepad. Perfectionist. Mildly hubristic. She adds a question mark.
“It had to be me.” Alex purses her lips, “Ever since Kara Zor-El became Kara Danvers, ever since I was fifteen, I have been the one looking after her. I have been the one to keep her safe, keep her secret safe. So, when the consensus was that she needed a cornerstone, I thought the obvious pick would have been me. I have known her the longest, I know her best, she’s my baby sister. And just the thought I couldn’t protect her. Or rescue her…”
Kelly nods. Shame, avoidant behavior, defensive, retaliative anger.
“When I locked J’onn into the containment unit, I genuinely thought it was for the best. I know there were six of us there, all working together to free Kara but if one of us had to stand up and do it by themselves,” she looks straight at Kelly, “it should have been me.”
Kelly scratches the mildly in front of hubristic.
“What I am hearing,” she says gently, shifting in the armchair, “is that you maybe have some issues with relinquishing control. Is that fair to say?”
“Are you saying I am a control freak?”
“Do you think you are?”
“It’s my army training.” Alex counters, “If you want a job done well, you do it yourself. You take responsibility for your actions. If I need something done, I’ll make sure it gets done. Lena didn’t want to give me the last of Kara’s DNA. I got the DNA. J’onn thought I would be too weak to help bring Kara back -”
“I don’t think that’s entirely fair on J’onn.”
“You know what I mean.” Alex throws her arm over the back rest of the sofa, gauging Kelly’s reaction, “Okay, maybe I have some control issues.”
“How did it end again?”
“I sacrificed myself.” Alex doesn’t skip a beat, “I took responsibility for my actions.”
“Noble,” Kelly puts her notepad down, “but babe, don’t you think it would be slightly more beneficial if we perhaps get you some coping mechanisms so you can stop feeling like you have to be everyone’s savior all the time?”
“Because we already have Supergirl to do that for us?”
Kelly fights the urge to pick up the notepad again but makes a mental note. Jealousy?
“No, because you should not carry the burden of the world. You are good enough as you are.” Kelly swallows, “I, for example, would not want you any other way.”
“Even though I am a control freak with a short fuse?”
“Even despite that.”
“What would you say are your strong suits?”
“I like to think I’m passionate.” Another glimmer of amusement in Alex’s eyes.
“Pitfalls?”
“Terrible lack of self-awareness, probably.”
Alex doesn’t leave with any additional information. Kelly promises she’ll bring some stuff home with her later that day, so Alex doesn’t have to answer a billion of Kara’s questions when she walks past.
* * *
“I’m so sorry J’onn and Brainy dragged you into this.”
Just like her older sister, Kara does not seem to have any regard for professional boundaries. Kelly lets Kara hug her for a few moments, telling herself it’s only because of the woman’s experiences in the Phantom Zone and refusing to engage in a hug would be… rude. Denying Kara something Kara wants is, as Alex would put it, kicking a puppy in the face.
“Please,” Kelly gestures for the third time that day, “sit anywhere you’d like.”
(Later, Kelly will use her Dictaphone to record that Kara immediately went for the chaise lounge, lying down on it and folding her hands neatly on top of her stomach. This is what they always seem to do on TV, so I guess this is the best way to approach this. Kelly will point out that Kara is nervous yet earnest, terrified yet forthcoming, crystal clear yet… very confusing.)
“I’m sorry you’ve had to wait so long.” Kelly initiates, “Alex mentioned that you were all getting a bit restless in the waiting room.”
“Oh,” Kara takes her eyes off the ceiling and turns her face to look at her, “I wouldn’t say restless. I’ve just had a bit of a nervous bladder and I struck up a conversation with one of the receptionists. Joan? I think her name was Joan. We got chatting about therapy dogs, you know how I love dogs.”
“Joan does love dogs.” Kelly concurs, clicking her pen.
Very nervous. One line under ‘very’.
“And Lena was fine. She’s just been reading a lot, she likes to read, apparently it calms her down. She must’ve got through like, eighty pages of the book she’s reading. Not that I counted or anything.” Kelly doesn’t say anything, so Kara sighs and continues to talk. “I may have counted.”
Obsessive disorder. Kelly jots down. No compulsion.
“What are you writing?”
“I’m just documenting,” Kelly smiles, “is there anything you want to share with me today?”
“It was tough.” Kara offers, “It was tough, and it sucked, but I’m back now so I don’t guess there’s much point in dwelling on the past. I’m more, you know,” she shrugs, looking back up at the ceiling, “thinking about the future. I just need things to go back to normal so we can move past this and then I’ll be fine.”
“Kara,” Kelly puts the pen down, “Who should move past what?”
“Oh.” Kara turns her face again, blue eyes earnest as ever from behind her glasses, “Lena and I, obviously.”
“Obviously.”
“I mean, I know I should not have lied to her about my secret identity for all these years. I’m sure she knows by now that Non Nocere was a bad idea. And we sort of hashed it out, I think. I apologized, she apologized, she’s obviously sort of moving past all of it or she hadn’t helped you guys out at the Tower. It’s just… it feels slightly off, she and I.”
Kelly Olsen tries her hardest to be professional. The professional side of her is screaming in the back of her mind, telling her to focus on the Phantom Zone and trauma and loss and offering helpful coping mechanisms. Yet here she is, listening to Kara Danvers talking about Lena Luthor. Kelly decides, against better judgement, to roll with it.
“Why is that?”
“She doesn’t talk to me,” the blonde gestures, “I mean she does, but she doesn’t talk to me. It’s fine if there are other people around, but then when it’s just her and I, she feels off. Like she’s irritated. Or nervous.”
“Does she tell you this?”
“God no,” Kara almost laughs, “she doesn’t tell me things anymore, that’s the issue. No, I just literally feel it.”
“You feel it?” Kelly grips the pen again, trying to contain herself.
“Her heartbeat,” the Kryptonian says casually, “I used to actively seek it out when I was on the job. I know what her heartbeat sounds like when she’s relaxed. I know what it sounds like when we have game nights and she gets excited about Monopoly, -”
Nobody gets excited about Monopoly, apart from sociopaths. Kelly adds a little ‘v’ between Obsessive and Disorder. Love. Underlines it once, puts a question mark next to it.
“And ever since I’ve come back from the Phantom Zone, her heartbeat goes berserk when it’s just her and I. It happened in the waiting room while she was on page 52 of that book. I just - I don’t want her to feel awkward around me. I think,” Kara breathes slowly, “I think I’m just scared that she feels like she has to be around me because I’ve been in the Phantom Zone, and it was her brother that put me there. Some weird sense of guilty obligation.”
“Kara.”
“I just don’t want her to hate me. Not when -”
One of the most essential rules of psychology that she was taught during her internships was to never interrupt patients when they are on the verge of making an important self-discovery.
“Lena does not hate you.”
“You don’t know that,” Kara whines, “she’s very good at pretending. You know that, Kelly. We all know that.”
“When you were stuck in the Phantom Zone,” Kelly says gently, “the only way we could locate you, was by using some of your DNA. The only piece of you we had left was your legacy tapes. Alex had entrusted Lena with them, which was surprising to say the least, but we ended up needing it to do damage limitation with the Phantoms on earth. So,” the woman sighs, “Alex went back to Lena’s lab, to ask for it back. Explained the situation.”
“Okay.”
Kelly doesn’t think she’s ever seen Kara this serious before.
“It was a fairly straightforward choice. We could only use your DNA once, and then the legacy tapes would be gone. It was a choice between you and National City.”
“Okay,” Kara says slowly, “And Lena chose National City because she’s a philanthropist. That’s… noble. That’s exactly who I thought Lena would be. I don’t understand -”
“Alex chose National City.”
“But.”
(Later that day, Kelly will tell Alex she had never quite understood the meaning of something dawning upon someone until she looked at Kara Danvers on her chaise lounge.)
“Yeah.”
“Lena chose me,” Kara whispers, incredulously, “Me?”
“Alex basically took the crystal from her. Lena was devastated. And the next day, we went round to see if she was okay, and she had like four prototypes of devices that would help us save you once the Phantoms were dealt with.”
“She chose me.”
“She chose you.” Kelly purses her lips, “Kara, I cannot stress how unprofessional this has been on the whole, but you need to trust that whatever is going on between Lena and you, it will work out. It just needs a little sliver of patience.”
(Later on, she will quote what she said to Kara to Alex, ad verbatim, and Alex will grunt and say everyone’s patience is running out at the pace this is going.)
“I can be patient,” Kara sits up abruptly, “I can do that. Have you got some water by any chance?”
Kelly gestures at the pitcher on her desk, scribbles down more notes as Kara pours herself a glass of water, downs it, pours another, and downs it again.
“Kara,” Kelly taps on the notepad gently, “if I were to ask you what your strong suits are, what would you say they were?”
“I mean I’m pretty strong.” Kara grins, “Forgiving? I guess I just try to be nice? I don’t really know. How does anyone answer that question without sounding like super conceited?”
“Any pitfalls?”
“Naivety? I don’t know.”
Kara leaves her office with a pamphlet about the power of meditation and four lollipops Kelly keeps in a jar for when she has traumatized children on her roster.
* * *
Nothing in her years of experience could have prepared her for Lena Luthor. The first sign things are not going to go as she would expect, is Lena knocking on her door herself.
“Lena, hi,” Kelly smiles, “come on in.”
“Thanks, dr. Olsen.”
“There’s no need to be quite that formal,” Kelly laughs, “just make yourself comfortable, sit down anywhere you like.”
“If it wasn’t formal, we could have had this conversation on your couch with a bottle of merlot but here we are, in your office. I would say that is formal.” Lena doesn’t hesitate for a second and sits down on the common chair positioned right in front of Kelly’s desk. “Shall we get started?”
Holy shit.
“Okay,” Kelly takes a seat behind her desk, “is there anything you want to share today?”
“As a matter of fact, there is.”
“Go ahead.”
“This is not going to work,” Lena says coolly, her arms folded defensively in front of her, “I have sat here for three hours and watched Nia, Alex and Kara walk in and out, and whatever you did for them - it’s not going to do anything for me.”
“And why do you think that is?”
“I am not like them.”
“I agree that every person I see is unique -”
“Kelly, you have to believe me when I say I truly believe you are very good at your job,” Lena says softly, “but I have spent most of my adult life trying to figure out what is wrong with me, and I still cannot pinpoint it. I don’t think you will be able to in an hour.”
“You’re not a trained psychologist.” Kelly tries to lighten the mood, “Who knows, I could surprise you.”
“Fine,” Lena sighs, “I am a perfectionist. I have an eidetic memory. My IQ is 152. My Meyers-Briggs type is INTP. I think it is quite likely I have developed some sort of paranoia because of people continuously trying to screw me over. I have mother issues. I have father issues. I don’t let people get close to me out of fear they will leave me. I’m terrified of the notion I let someone in despite knowing better and letting them ruin me.” Lena pauses, “Are you not going to write any of this down?”
Kelly doesn’t say a word.
“I hate feeling dumb. It’s the one thing I have that is mine,” Lena continues, “I don’t get to make first impressions much because I’m the bastard Luthor, my reputation precedes me, the only thing I really have is my brain, because it’s the only part of me I can trust. So, when Lex told me, he pulled the rug from beneath my feet.”
If Kelly should be writing something down, she definitely isn’t doing it.
“So yes, when Lex told me my best friend for years had been lying to my face every single day, I was hurt. When I realized you were all in on it, pretending I had a human best friend and a bizarrely good report with a Kryptonian superhero, I felt betrayed. But what killed me, is knowing I had been fooled. I don’t get fooled.”
Green eyes glance up at Kelly and for a second, the psychologist feels slightly unsettled.
“I agreed to do this because Brainy was adamant this was something that had to be done. It got me thinking - what happened in the Tower, what was my fear in that moment. And when the surge hit me, all I could see was the Kelpie.” She gestures idly, “It’s a shapeshifting water monster from Scottish folklore, something my biological mother would read to me about from a book of hers, the only physical thing I have left of her,” Lena pauses, “my mother drowned when I was four.”
“Thank you for sharing all of that, it -”
Lena shakes her head, lifting her hand just an inch from the desk, urging Kelly to let her continue talking.
“So, I stood there, watched the Kelpie murder J’onn, and Brainy, and Alex, and you, and Nia. And then it was going to kill me.” Lena purses her lips, “And in that moment, I knew exactly what I had to do. I faced the Kelpie, touched it, watched it shapeshift into my mother, and then it was over.”
Kelly stays silent, just in case.
“From what I have heard,” Lena says softly, “Alex and Nia let their nightmares play out. Alex threw herself into space, Nia watched us die. Worst case scenarios. Alex told me about your experience.” The raven-haired woman’s tone becomes softer, “You and I took control of the fear knot. You reasoned with Alex. I touched the Kelpie. I have thought about it for the past few days, Kelly, and I have come up with a theory.”
“Do tell.”
“You managed to overcome the fear knot because you know how to cope,” Lena says gently, “you know exactly what to do, how to reason yourself out of irrational fears. That’s why the fear knot didn’t get to you in the end.”
“What about you?” Kelly tries, “How did you cope?”
“I didn’t cope,” Lena smiles, “I fooled it.”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
“I’m not scared of drowning.” Lena says matter-of-factly, “I don’t believe in mythical sea creatures. I hate swimming but I have never been scared of drowning. I don’t know what my mother looks like anymore, I can’t remember - the one stain on my eidetic memory. I think about my mother a lot, I think about the fact I watched her drown. That I probably do need therapy for. It’s on my mind a lot, but it is not my biggest fear.”
“Okay.”
“My biggest fear,” Lena takes a deep breath and then says it, “is losing Kara.”
Never interrupt a patient when they are on the verge of an important self-discovery.
“I see.”
“I hate myself for it.” The youngest Luthor mutters, “It doesn’t make any sense. Why would I want to hold on to someone who betrayed my trust, who I tried to hurt worse than anyone I have ever wanted to hurt - bar Lex.”
Never interrupt a patient when they are on the verge of an important self-discovery.
“I lost her when Lex revealed her identity to me. I lost her when she revealed her identity to me. I lost her in the Fortress. I lost her to the Phantom Zone. I lost her when Alex demanded I handed the DNA over. I don’t - I am not going to lose her again. I’m not going to get close to her again because I will, without a shadow of a doubt, lose her again and I can’t bear the thought of that.”
Never interrupt a patient when they are on the verge of an important self-discovery.
“Okay,” Lena sighs, “I’m done now.”
Kelly inhales sharply, looking down at a pristinely empty notepad.
“What is your book about?”
“Pardon?”
“Alex mentioned you were out there reading a book.”
“It’s about a lawyer with nerve damage who has a shit ton of trauma to work through,” Lena snorts, “I don’t really think I should be reading it in my current state of mind, if I’m honest - how is this relevant?”
“How many pages are you in?”
“About eighty,” Lena frowns, “I stopped reading when Kara came to see you - what does this have to do with anything?”
About eighty.
(One day in the future, she will tell this exact factoid to Alex, who will groan and nod and agree these two are infuriating in their oblivion)
“Absolutely nothing.” Kelly sighs, “What would you say are your strong suits?”
“I’m a literal genius.”
“Pitfalls?”
“Kara Danvers.”
And just like that, Lena’s demeanor changes completely. She lets out a shaky sigh and doesn’t even object when Kelly reaches across the desk and gestures for her to hold her hand.
“Do you love her?”
She can hear the answer in Lena’s silence.
“Don’t tell Alex.” Lena mumbles, “Or Kara. Or anyone. You can’t tell anyone.”
(Later on, she will pride herself that despite letting slip the boundaries, she did manage to keep a secret)
“Professional confidentiality,” Kelly smiles, “don’t worry.”
“Do you want to come back and talk about things some more?” Kelly offers, “Doesn’t have to be about Kara. You can come talk to me about Lex, or Lillian, or your biological mom. Kelpies, even.”
“Meyers-Briggs’ types?”
“I have always got time for Meyers-Briggs.”
“What is yours?”
“ESFP.”
“Good match with Alex, then, because she has to be -”
“ISFJ.”
They both smile.
“What do you think Kara is?”
“Oh, definitely ENFP.”
“Do you think -” Lena stops halfway through her question.
“Pretty compatible with yours.”
“It’s not an exact science.” Lena clears her throat, “Right. Will you send the bill?”
“I’m not going to charge you; I didn’t charge the others.”
“That is a terrible business model.”
“We can talk about business models next time you come in.”
There’s a timid knock on the door and Lena almost jumps up.
“If that is my next appointment, he is very early,” Kelly frowns, “hold up.”
“No, no,” Lena stands up, grabbing her bag, “if anything, I’ve taken up enough of your time. I’ll get out of your hair, I should get back to work, anyway, I’m trying to launch this new foundation and it needs work, so.”
“Let me see you out.”
Kara Danvers looks the most uncomfortable Kelly has ever seen her the second she opens the door. She doesn’t glance over at Lena but can hear the sharp intake of air when she too lays eyes on the blonde.
“Kara?”
“I just -”, the blonde swallows, “I’m sorry, you have been in here for ages and I tried focusing on your heartbeat for a while, but it was super irregular and I just worried. Are you alright?” she glances at Kelly, “Is she alright?”
“Why are you still here?” Lena doesn’t skip a beat.
“I eh, thought I’d wait for you. Nia and Alex are already gone but you haven’t had lunch yet and I haven’t eaten since this morning so I’m starving, so I thought we might go for food?”
“I think that’s a great idea,” Kelly interjects, “you two should definitely go for lunch.”
She doesn’t know what amuses her more, the look of sheer delight on Kara’s face or Lena’s deer-in-headlight panic.
* * *
Throughout the next few weeks, Kelly is pleased to notice some signs of improvement in all her patients. Nia seems to be communicating with Brainy more openly, Alex attempts to give up control to J’onn, with varying levels of success, and Kara and Lena start looking less awkward around each other, ironically by looking more awkward.
The first time she notices it is when they are at the bar and Kara keeps pleading with Lena to throw peanuts in the air, catching them in her mouth without fault. Lena laughs when the blonde pulls off an impressive catch and playfully shoves a triumphant Kara’s shoulder. There is too much noise to make up what Kara says when she leans into Lena’s personal space, but Kelly shares a knowing look with Alex before focusing elsewhere.
The second time is when Lena comes to another therapy session in which they discuss a variety of topics that are most definitely not Kara Danvers. Lena seems chirpier than usual, and Kelly can’t quite pinpoint what has caused the change in usually cool, collected behavior until she lets Lena out and spots Kara sitting in the waiting room with a book in her hands. As soon as the blonde spots them, she’s grinning and walking over. Kelly gets a quick kiss goodbye from Lena (unprofessional) and a massive hug from Kara (if possible, even more unprofessional) before the two women walk down the hallway. Kelly watches them walk away and will say to Alex that same evening that she could have sworn Kara reached for Lena’s hand.
The third time she walks into Lena’s new office when Kara’s already there, sitting on the edge of the desk like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Lena, in her swivel chair, looks nothing short but entranced by something Kara is saying and when she approaches the desk, she can’t help but notice a post-it in handwriting very similar to Alex’s, taped onto the corner of Lena’s iMac screen. She just about notices the little drawn hearts before Lena clocks her glance, tears the little note down and quickly shoves it into a binder.
* * *
Confirmation came by account of her own eyes in Kara Danvers’ apartment, two weeks after the therapy sessions. Kara had insisted on a game night, stating she’d had to miss it for years in the Phantom Zone. Kelly showed up with Alex at exactly the agreed upon time, only to enter the flat and find Lena was already there, wearing a sweatshirt that looked suspiciously much like one of Kara’s. By the time Brainy, Nia and J’onn arrived, Kara had well and truly snuggled into the side of her own damn favorite sweatshirt.
The longer the night progressed, the less inhibitions there seemed to be between them. Where they had first sat next to each other, Kelly couldn’t help but notice Kara had gone to the bathroom and upon returning, decided to just sit right behind Lena, wrapping her arms around the younger woman as she let her look at the playing cards she was holding - much to Brainy’s objection.
When Nia won their round of Jenga and J’onn asked what the next game was, Lena almost beamed when Kara pulled out the Monopoly box. Alex grunted next to her, moaning about how it was rigged and Lena was too lucky whenever she played. Lena quipped back there was skill involved, although she happily allowed Kara to trade her all the cards that she needed to have monopolies. When Alex objected, Kara threw a hotel at her head on Lena’s behalf.
When it was close to midnight, Lena announced she was getting a final refill, picking up her empty scotch glass and beckoning Alex to hand her hers as well. Kelly watched Lena make her way into the kitchen, hair loose and sweatshirt sleeves slightly too long for her arms, fumbling with the bottle of scotch for a few seconds.
Whilst J’onn was regaling a story of his time at the DEO, something about a fifth dimensional imp, Kelly gently nudged Alex’s side, prompting her to glance over at her sister who had now got up and joined Lena in the kitchen. Lena poured a finger’s worth of amber liquid in both glasses before becoming aware of the blonde’s presence. As soon as she did and turned around to face Kara, Kelly felt Alex’s hand on her thigh, the pressure of her fingertips burning through her jeans.
“Oh my god,” Kelly mumbled, nudging Alex again, “you’re seeing this too, right?”
“Totally.”
Lena stood right between the kitchen island and Kara, holding up one of the glasses and saying something neither Alex of Kelly could quite understand. Kara snorted and took the glass from her, using freeze breath on it before handing it back to the dark-haired woman. Lena took a sip, nodding in approval.
The grasp on Kelly’s thigh got tighter.
“Brainy, shush.” Nia mumbled from the other side of the living room, “Look.”
A few meters away, seemingly in a world of their own, Kara took her best friend’s glass out of her hand and put it down on the kitchen island before leaning in closer. Kelly watched with bated breath, unsure what was going to play out. She swatted Alex’s hand off her thigh when her girlfriend squeezed even harder, obviously seeing the exact same thing she was, and thought back of the most recent session she’d had with Lena.
Sometimes we are doing something stupidly mundane and all I can think about is how badly I want her to stop doing what she’s doing and just kiss me.
Watching Lena finally get what she wanted, in the middle of Kara Danvers’ kitchen, made her heart swell. Moments later, Kara handed Alex her refill before taking her earlier position behind Lena again, once the dark-haired woman sat down in their pile of cushions. Kelly gave her a knowing smile, lifting one eyebrow as Kara wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist.
Lena raised her glass to her, before gently whispering:
“To therapy.”