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All the Times I've Fallen for You

Summary:

dorcas has fallen in love with marlene too many times to count.
and here are some of those moments over their years at hogwarts.

Notes:

hello my fellow queers, this is my first fic and i absolutely love it. the lack of sapphic rep in any form of media is so icky so i think writing dorlene in this fandom is really fucking important. so anyways, these are five super cute moments where our favorite sapphics fall in love. shout out to all my fellow lesbians, i'm blowing you a kiss through the screen <3

(also for future reference i have ocd and some of my compulsions deal with writing, so if i write i word like "one's" even though it supposed to be without an apostrophe just know that's why. so some grammar issues are not by mistake and if that ircks you i'm sorry. (not really because i can't control my mental illness so that sorry was more of a formality.)

here's my twitter too!: @lesbianlovrboy

anyways that's that. one of my best qualities is that i'm consiece and don't talk a lot, as you can see. okay, have fun reading xx.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

***

 

Dorcas was giggling as she examined Marlene's hand, flipping it over and wiggling each finger. They were sitting in the grass, where all the white clover grew. And Dorcas shuffled forward a bit, moving her own fingers gently over Marlene's skin, trying to find the softest areas.

 

“Why are these two shorter than the rest?” Dorcas asked curiously, as she brought Marlene's hand closer to her face to survey her nails.

 

“Because they mean lesbian.” Marlene said matter of factly, with a proud smile on her face for knowing this information- like it was a special secret only few people got to know.

 

Dorcas shot her head up quickly, gaping at Marlene with wide, curious, eyes. “Really?!” She blurted, “How do you know?!”

 

“I saw it in a magazine once.” Marlene recounted with an air of superiority, “There was this girl with long black hair who was talking about being a lesbian and had her nails like this.” She lifted her hands to demonstrate. “I think she said it was like a code? A queer code or something?” 

 

“A code?” Dorcas parroted back with her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, “Like a secret language? A secret language for lesbians?”

 

“Oh yeah!” Marlene said, her eyebrows shooting up with excitement, “It’s exactly like that!”

 

A huge smile bloomed across dorcas’ face as she watched Marlene get worked up with excitement and all sorts of happy emotions. Then her eyes lit up, “Can I be a lesbian too?! And cut my nails like that?!”

 

“Yeah! Let’s do it right now!” Marlene declared as she lifted herself off the ground and pulled Dorcas up with her, “I have the nail stuff in my room!”

 

Dorcas started laughing uncontrollably as Marlene started running, squeezing dorcas’ hand while she pulled her forward.

 

“Slow down Marlene!” Dorcas laughed. But Marlene kept on running, her blonde hair flying behind her. “no! we need to hurry so we can make you a lesbian!”

 

That was the first time Dorcas felt fluttering in her tummy. And she loved it.

 

***

 

Dorcas’ legs were swinging back and forth while she laid on her stomach in bed. Propped up in her hands was a Bridge to Terabithia- which she had read dozens of times before- but this time she had a bunch of post-it’s and highlighters; all splayed in a colorful mess next to her.

 

Yesterday when she and Benjy were walking back from a class together he pulled out one of his books which was filled with brightly colored tabs peeking out from the sides, and what looked like the whole rainbow which marked the previously black words. She instantly asked him to teach her how to do that to her own books, and once she got the hang of it he let her borrow them.

 

As she flipped onto the next page, Dorcas heard their door swing open, and a blonde-headed figure rush around the beds and into the bathroom. 

 

“Marlene?” Dorcas asked as the bathroom door slammed shut. She set her book down and climbed out of bed, walking towards the door. She could hear muffled cries coming from the other side and hurriedly tried to turn the handle. It was locked. “Marlene are you okay?” She asked as her voice grew alarmed, “Can I come in?”

 

“No,” Marlene said between sniffles and quiet hiccups. “Leave me alone.”

 

Of course, Dorcas wasn’t going to do that. So she grabbed her wand from her bedside table and muttered quietly, “Alohomora.” The handle instantly stopped resisting and opened smoothly.

 

“I said leave me alone!” Marlene repeated furiously as her watery eyes looked in dorcas’ direction. She was curled up in the space between the shower and the toilet; wiping at her eyes far too aggressively. 

 

“I wasn’t going to just let you cry in here. I wanna know what’s wrong.” Dorcas said as kindly as she could, as she sat criss-cross in front of Marlene. 

 

“I don’t want to tell you,” Marlene said as she pulled her legs tighter to her chest. Her breathing was finally calming down as she spoke, “You’ll think I’m ugly.”

 

“What?!” Dorcas blurted as she reeled back. How could Marlene even think that? “That’s stupid! I would never think you’re ugly! You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen!”

 

“Well, you haven’t seen all of me…”

 

“What do you mean?” Dorcas asked as she inched closer; her knees just barely touching the outer parts of Marlene's calves.  

 

“I have these… these weird lines all over my body. And they’re pink and puffy, and they make me look weird! You’ll never want to look at me again…” 

 

“That’s ridiculous!” Dorcas said forcefully. She wanted to say more, to tell Marlene how she was an idiot because she’s the prettiest girl ever! But instead, she opted not to. Her voice softened, “can I see them?”

 

“No.”

 

“Please?”

 

“...Fine” 

 

Marlene hesitantly started to outstretch her legs and Dorcas got up to give her space. She grabbed Marlene's hand to pull her up too and Marlene sat down on the toilet lid. “I’m warning you thou-” 

 

“You do not look ugly. Don’t even suggest it.” Dorcas said sternly as she peered down at Marlene.

 

Marlene sighed before she started pulling her skirt up. She lifted it to where you could just see the very top of her thighs, and she angled them a bit so you could the soft inner skin. On them were these small squiggly sort of lines that looked like they could have been drawn with a light pink marker. Like the ones, Dorcas had borrowed from Benjy.

 

“You see?” Marlene said half-aloud, “They’re so… they’re so ugly. And there’s so many!”

 

Dorcas couldn’t stop a laugh from bursting out. Which came at just the wrong time because Marlene's eyes started watering again and she quickly pulled her skirt down, embarrassed. 

 

Dorcas' face dropped as she realized what she’d done, “Oh no I didn't mean- I’m not laughing at them i promise.”

 

Marlene didn’t respond, only looked at her with hurt eyes. Dorcas kept rambling, trying desperately to fix her mistake, “It’s not- it’s just that those are stretch marks! They’re not weird look, I have some too!” She pulled down the collar of her school jumper until you could see the lower part of her chest. “You see?” She said as she used one hand to gently move her skin around to show Marlene. “Mine are purple!” 

 

Marlene leaned forward and examined the marks as she sniffed again. “So you have stretch marks too?”

 

“Of course! Lots of people do! And you can have them anywhere really.”

 

Marlene lifted her fingers towards the purple marks on Dorcas’ chest before she pulled back quickly. “Oh I’m- I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to… you know… sorry.” 

 

“No, it’s okay!” Dorcas said maybe a bit too eagerly. “You can touch them if you like. These ones you can’t really feel cause they’re small. But the ones on my hips are puffier.”

 

“You have ones on your hips too?!” Marlene said as her head whipped up, “I thought I was extra weird cause I have them in two places!”

 

“No, look!” Dorcas said as she stood up straighter and pulled the side of her skirt down a bit and turned to the side so Marlene could see the side of her hip. “They look kinda like stripes. And look these one’s-” she motioned to four of them which were long and placed right next to each other, “These one’s kinda remind me of remus’ scars. Don’t they look a bit like a claw mark?” 

 

“Yeah…” Marlene said as she gently swept her fingers across the divots. She was completely entranced. 

 

“I think they’re cool,” Dorcas said as she readjusted her skirt. “And fun to touch.” 

 

“Yeah,” Marlene breathed, “I like yours. They’re pretty.”

 

Dorcas blushed as she tucked one of her locs behind her ear, “Thanks.”

 

After that, Marlene would graze dorcas’ stretch marks frequently when they were laying together. Dorcas loved the soft touch.

 

*** 

 

“Come on, come on!” Marlene whispered loudly after she poked her head around the corner to make sure the coast was clear, grabbing dorcas’ hand as they rushed across the hallway. “Hurry up!”

 

“Shut up I’m going!” Dorcas whispered back, holding the marauders map firmly in her free hand.

 

They ran quietly through the halls before they made their way outside towards the one-eyed witch. “Wait, wait, wait.” Dorcas said quickly, pulling Marlene back so they were flat against the cobblestone wall- just barely hidden behind a large pillar.

 

“What is it?” Marlene asked slightly alarmed, “Is someone coming?”

 

“Yes,” Dorcas whispered hurriedly, pulling out the map to see who it was. “Oh shit.”

 

“What?” Marlene asked as she peered over Dorcas’ shoulder. She sighed exasperatedly, “Bloody hell filch... I’m going to need a restraining order at this point.”

 

Marlene glanced rapidly around the pillar before looking back at Dorcas with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, “Marlene what are you-” but before Dorcas could finish, Marlene had cupped her hands around Dorcas’ face and pulled her close so she could press their lips together.

 

Dorcas let her pent-up breath escape her as she melted against Marlene's body which was pressing her firmly against the wall. She put her hands on Marlene's waist, pressing her fingers in ever so slightly.

 

“Oi!” They could hear filch call as he got closer and closer to them, “Students may not be out of class du-” He stopped mid-sentence upon seeing what they were doing. Staring at them with large, shocked eyes as miss Norris hissed from behind his boots. 

 

Marlene pulled away from their kiss to turn and face him while Dorcas opened her eyes abruptly. 

 

“Why hello argus,” Marlene chatted, “Fancy seeing you here.”

 

Mr.Filch took a moment to close his mouth and shake his head a bit as if to erase the last few seconds from his memory. His eyes darted around, never looking in their direction, “Um…” He cleared his throat nervously before continuing, “… you both need to, er… get back to class.”

 

“Is that because we’re kissing? Two girls kissing?” Marlene said in faux offense, “Because if it is well…” She paused for effect and sighed deeply. “Well if it is, I’m going to have no choice but to file a complaint with Dumbledore…” 

 

Mr.Filch’s head perked up, his eyes widening significantly. “Oh, er- no that won’t be necessary…” He stuttered as he began to walk back slowly, “Just finish up whatever… y’know whatever it is you’re…doing, but then get to class.”

 

“Will do!” Marlene sang out.

 

Mr.Filch muttered something incoherent as he retreated quickly, miss Norris giving them one final glare before sneaking off down the corridor. The only sound being Mr.Filch’s boots hitting the cobblestone.

 

“Oh my god, Marlene!” Dorcas scolded in disbelief. “I mean how… how’d you th-”

 

“--think of that genius plan that saved both our arse’s?” She finished as she began walking towards the one-eyed witch.

 

“No.” Dorcas scoffed. “What I was going to say was; how’d you think to kiss me? If kissing me is your first instinct to danger we’re not going to make it very far…” 

 

“Saying you’re complaining?” Marlene said as she twirled around to flash Dorcas a grin before continuing to walk forward- stretching her hand out behind her for Dorcas to take.

 

“I am actually,” Dorcas bantered back. Walking a few steps quicker so she was side by side with Marlene; purposely ignoring Marlene's still outstretched hand. “You’re a terrible kisser.”

 

Marlene dropped her hand and stared at Dorcas with mortal outrage. “I am not!”

 

Dorcas coughed, clearly trying her hardest to hold in a laugh. Marlene narrowed her eyes at her, also holding back a smile- she wouldn’t give in that easily. “Piss off…”

 

“Fine.” Dorcas declared, flipping her locs exaggeratedly as she walked in the other direction, “I suppose I’ll go find filch and make him my new lover…” 

 

“Oh shut up.” Marlene sighed as she grabbed Dorcas’ hand and pulled her in for a kiss. And right as Dorcas began to soften against Marlene's body, Marlene pulled away with a grin. Their faces only inches apart. “ You’re a terrible lover.” 

 

Dorcas snorted as she pressed their foreheads together, whispering softly while looking into Marlene's eyes. “I guess we’re both terrible at something, huh.”

 

“Hm,” Marlene said as if in deep thought, her breath tickling Dorcas’ nose; making it scrunch up slightly. “I guess so…” And she leaned in for another kiss before pulling back just before they touched, gesturing to the one-eyed witch. “Well come on then.”

 

“Tease…” Dorcas mumbled playfully as she let Marlene tug her away and into the secret passage.

 

***

 

“We did it!” Marlene gasped as a soft pink mist bloomed from the cauldron in front of them.

 

Dorcas smiled as she leaned forward a bit- hands pushing her up from the table as she got on her tippy toes; watching the potion swirl around in the cauldron. 

 

“Now remember class,” Miss. Hawthorne announced as she walked about the room. “Amortentia is a very powerful love potion. so under no circumstances are you allowed to drink it or touch it.” She paused as many students either nodded or muttered a yes as they worked, “But of course- as is the purpose of the assignment- you will smell it.” She finished as she walked over to a student with their hand raised. “So please, do ask for help if needed…”

 

Marlene and Dorcas turned to face each other after the speech; Marlene's eyes twinkling in anticipation. “What’d you reckon it’ll smell like?” 

 

“I don’t kn-”

 

“See moony. That’s what it’s supposed to look like.” Sirius said as he turned around and gestured at Marlene and Dorcas’ potion. “It’s embarrassing that McKinnon finished before us…” 

 

“Piss off paddy .” Marlene said with a coy smile as she changed her voice to be patronizing, “Does paddy cakes need a hu-”

 

Sirius lunged at her- body leaning over their cauldron while putting her in a headlock playfully. Marlene started laughing uncontrollably as she attempted to escape. “Get off me!” Marlene hollered, managing to untangle herself from his grasp and putting him in a headlock herself. “Too easy paddy cakes!” 

 

“Moony save me!” Sirius cried out as he continued to struggle beneath her grasp. Remus purposely ignored him as Sirius awaited Remus’ rescue. “I don’t feel any saving!”

 

“Remus is too embarrassed by your pathetic atte- ah!” Marlene yelped as Sirius finally got her back under his arms. “What was that McKinnon? I can’t hear you when you’re so busy losing to me!” But that only lasted a moment before Marlene had him pinned again.

 

Dorcas and Remus noticed the table start to wobble, and they both shot their arms out to stabilize it. “Jesus christ…” Remus muttered. “Sirius just give up. You’re losing anyways.” Dorcas huffed a laugh as Remus and her both continued to hold the table firmly.

 

“I’m only losing because the smell of your chocolate is distracting me!” He said, clearly out of breath as they continued to wrestle. “... why’d you bring your sweet’s to class anyways?”

 

Remus straightened up in confusion. “Huh?”

 

“Hey! Black and McKinnon! Off each other now!” Miss. Hawthorne yelled across the room, “Otherwise it’s Dumbledore’s office!” 

 

Marlene and Sirius glanced at her momentarily before they both let each other go, their momentum making them both fly back. Dorcas shot her arm's out to steady Marlene, “You’re an idiot.” She muttered with a smile and a shake of her head as she helped Marlene back into an upright position. “Yeah, well. Not as much as Sirius is. At least I won…”

 

He glared at her as he regained his balance. “Well, it’s not my fault! Remus’ chocolate smell distracted me!” Remus shifted around to face him, looking as though he was about to speak before Marlene yelled back. “I was distracted too! The smell of monoi from Dorcas’ hair oil was practically clogging my nose!” She turned momentarily to Dorcas and muttered, “Did you put more in than usual?” Dorcas scowled, “No. And I don’t know what you’re talking about, I can’t smell anything.”

 

“--Why the hell would I bring chocolate to class?”

 

“Hm. I do not know Remus,” Sirius replied sarcastically. “Maybe the person who brought the chocolate could figure that one out.”

 

“I didn’t bring any chocolate!”

 

“Bloody hell, can you both shut up?” Marlene drawled. “Who care’s about the stupid chocolate?”

 

“I do!” Remus said desperately. “Especially since Sirius smells like wet dog but I’m not complaining…” He scowled.

 

“Remus, I don’t! and even if I did…” He lowered his voice as he leaned in, “The full moon was two weeks ago. You think I haven’t showered since then???” Remus kept on scowling- even though you could clearly tell he had no rebuttal.

 

Dorcas took a deep breath as she was about to speak, but choked as the scent of rubbing alcohol flooded her nose. Her eyes began to water and she brought her hand up to her mouth as she began to cough, “Oh god…”

 

“Are you okay?” Marlene asked as she put her hand on Dorcas’ arm and looked at her with mild concern.

 

“Yeah. Yeah fine just… god your earring disinfectant smells strong,” She said as her coughing subdued. Marlene's arm lifted from Dorcas' skin. She had a confused expression on her face; all her features seeming to draw in.

 

“How on earth can you smell her earring disinfectant?” Sirius asked with a small laugh.

 

Dorcas turned to face him and of course, he was grinning like that was the silliest thing he had ever heard. Dorcas couldn’t help but get defensive whenever he did that, “Well I don’t know! She’s got like twelve ear piercings so that might have something to do with it!”

 

“Hey, i was just asking no nee-”

 

“So how’re we doing over here?” Miss. Hawthorne asked as she approached their table. “Hh good job girls it looks great!” She exclaimed, peering into their cauldron. “So what did you all smell?”

 

Marlene opened her mouth to speak before her jaw dropped and her eyes grew wide.

 

“Miss. Hawthorne! miss Hawthorne!” Some kid hollered from the front of the room. “My potion’s turning green!”

 

“I’ll be there in just a moment.” She called back, “Your potion looks great.” She whispered quickly before scuttling away to the other student.

 

The realization shocked them all like a bolt of lightning, and they all stood there, red-faced and mute. Sirius brought his hand up to his neck in a nervous manner and Remus’ gaze flickered to him momentarily before he stared intensely at whatever random object was in front of him. 

 

Dorcas grabbed one of her locs and began fidgeting with it, while she tried to distract herself by listening to the other kid’s voices which filled the room.

 

Marlene broke the silence first. “Uh… well…” She looked up at them with flushed and rosey cheeks- not meeting Dorcas’ eye. She cleared her throat before pushing the words out hesitantly, “Uh. So I mean we’re all thinking it…so ...” 

 

“Maybe you should say the words out loud so we’re all on the same page…” Sirius prompted; trying to look confused and in need of enlightenment. 

 

Marlene scowled at him, “Oh I know you’re not trying to push this on me black. And you call yourself a Gryffindor…” 

 

“I’m just trying to be generous and give the honor to my most beloved friend.” Sirius cooed while batting his eyelashes.

 

Marlene shot him a dirty look while Sirius grinned in return. Dorcas glanced at Remus but he did nothing except clear his throat quietly while still acting as if the cauldron in front of him was the most interesting thing in the world. Dorcas sighed, “Right okay, so we all know what happened… and this is a love potion.” She turned slowly to face Marlene who’s cheeks turned even pinker when their eyes met.

 

Dorcas took a deep breath in, “Well... this probably the least romantic time ever for this- especially since two boys are here…kinda ruins the saphicness of it all... ” Marlene huffed a laugh while Sirius and Remus glared at Dorcas with offense, “But uh… well… I mean it’s pretty obvious now, but… I love you, Marlene.”

 

Marlene’s expression changed into something Dorcas had never seen before and couldn’t even begin to describe. She chuckled nervously but was quickly stopped by Marlene pressing their lips firmly together. “So you love me, huh?” Marlene said with a smirk as she pulled back, only a few inches from Dorcas’ face, “That’s a bit queer don’t ya think?”

 

Dorcas snorted, “Nope. Well, not unless you love me back that is…”

 

“Well, it’s lucky I don’t th- ow!” Marlene yelped after Dorcas had given her waist a little pinch. Marlene tightened her lips in an attempt to seem annoyed but her smiling eyes gave her away. “Well, I suppose… I suppose I love you too…” 

 

“I’m going to pinch you again,” Dorcas warned.

 

“Fine! You’re right, You’re right, it’s just…” She exhaled slowly. All of her previously joking features dissolving. “I’m… Jesus christ- I’m in love with you.” She paused for a long minute and Dorcas couldn’t tell if she was going to say more. But eventually, Marlene pushed forward, “But not just that I’m… I’m utterly... completely… madly in love with you. I think I always have been, to be honest.” She finished with a small laugh.

 

Dorcas crashed their lips together like she needed it more than air itself, her mind whirling around as the words kept on flashing in her mind. I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you…

 

***

 

Dear, Dorcas Meadowes

 

Hi Cas, darling! John here! How are you, my love? It's been so long since we’ve last seen you, and honestly hun, I'm not sure how much longer we can manage. Micheal tried contacting Professor. McGonagall to have you over for a weekend, but unfortunately, we can’t since we aren’t your “legal guardians”-

 

SNATCH.

 

“Again?! A-fucking-gain?!” Marlene vented as her eyes scanned over the note quickly; her blonde hair creating a curtain around her face as she peered down. “They haven’t written to me in weeks. Weeks! And this is your 5th one just this month. I mean it’s like they’re not even trying!” 

 

Marlene slammed the letter onto the wooden breakfast table; making her pumpkin juice sway in the bottle. “Why do my dads love you more than me?!”

 

Dorcas shrugged as she took the note back and folded it neatly, “Maybe because I’m perfect in every way? Not sure. Might have something to do with it though.” She said in exaggerated nonchalance. The corner of her mouth beginning to quirk up. 

 

Marlene huffed loudly before chugging her pumpkin juice as if it were alcohol and she desperately needed to get drunk. Dorcas chuckled, “Saying you disagree?”

 

Marlene glared at her as she set the bottle down and turned in her seat- ready to rant. “You know my answer to that. But I’m not going to give you the satisfaction because I’m mad. The betrayal is too much right now. And they call themselves my parents…”  

 

“Aw, it’s okay…” Dorcas said as she pulled Marlene close to her, laying her head onto her chest so she could stroke her fingers through Marlene's hair soothingly. 

 

Marlene lowered her voice menacingly; her breath tickling Dorcas’ collarbone, “I think I should fake my death so they feel horrible about neglecting me…” 

 

Dorcas let a small laugh slip between her lips, “How did I end up with someone like you?”

 

“Just got lucky, I guess.”

 

Dorcas pressed a kiss atop her head then tilted down so she could attack Marlene’s face with a bunch of quick pecs. Marlene started giggling as her face scrunched up and her body reacted by trying to curl up into a little ball. 

 

“PDA guys,” Sirius said as he looked up at them disapprovingly from across the table.

 

Marlene lifted herself from Dorcas’ body, “Don’t be jealous Black. It’s not a good look on you.” She responded, her voice making it sound like a chore she was far too sick of doing. (But she really wasn’t. She’d never get sick of provoking Sirius Black.)

 

Marlene met Dorcas’ eyes as Sirius pouted in the background; becoming far too aggressive with cutting into a sausage. They ignored him as Marlene began to speak, “I’m happy though. That my parents love you.” She smiled sincerely before continuing, “I don’t know what I would’ve done if they didn’t.”

 

“Well, all I need is you. So I would’ve been okay.”

 

Marlene blushed as she pressed their lips together- very aware that Sirius was making gagging sounds behind them. Marlene pulled back slowly and went to grab Dorcas’ hands before intertwining their fingers. “I love you. More than anything.”

 

“Me too.” Dorcas breathed into another tender kiss. 

 

***

Notes:

first thing i have to say is if you got to this point, thank so incredibly much for reading this. like siriusly (lol) it means a lot.

also i feel like i should just mention (because i need people to know i did research. i want praise.) that the book: bridge to terabithia was published in 1977. hopefully you could tell that that scene took place when they were younger, thus the book had not yet been published. but the other one's i saw from that time period looked horrible. so it was a sacrifice i was willing to make.