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Bad’s hands shook as he removed the phone from the wall with a soft click. He nervously fiddled with the spiral telephone cord as butterflies filled his stomach. His fingers hovered over the buttons on the wall hesitantly. If this was his own phone he’d just go click the last person he called, but with this ancient wall phone he had to wrack his brain to remember the number.
He thought deeply, hoping, praying he remembered correctly. He pressed each digit slowly and with care, murmuring to himself just to be sure.
He pressed enter and nearly dropped the phone in surprise as it started to ring.
Bad longed so desperately to hear his best friend's voice, to hear his laugh, and even his whines when he didn’t get what he wanted. Bad missed him so much he could barely breathe.
The phone rang again.
Guilt filled Bad’s stomach, his friend didn’t know where he was. He had no idea why Bad left. No idea how Bad’s last week has been. He didn’t want to tell him.
Finally someone picked up. Part of Bad hoped he dialed the wrong number. Then he wouldn’t have to have this conversation.
“Hello? Who is it?” Skeppy’s voice rang clear from the other end.
Bad didn’t speak. He’d missed his voice so much.
“If this is a scam I have to let you know you’re doing a terrible job. You have to actually speak to me and sell me something I want for an incredibly low price.” Skeppy takes a breath before putting on his best telemarketer voice “hello, may I interest you in buying a basement child? 14% off today only. Buy or die tomorrow”
Bad let out a soft snort to Skeppy’s dumb sale. It was so like him to talk to telemarketers just to annoy them. But sadly Bad wasn't a telemarketer.
Bad trembled, he could still back out. He could still hang up and Skeppy would never know he called. For all Skeppy knew, Bad had been ignoring him for a week with only a cryptic discord message to say goodbye.
“Hellloooooo scammer? I’m hanging up if you don’t say something in the next 14 seconds.”
The longer Bad hesitated the longer Skeppy worried.
“Hi ‘Geppy” Bad said meekly.
“Bad?!” Skeppy shrieked, and Bad heard a crash and scrambling in the background along with muffled cursing courtesy of Skeppy. Bad mumbled a soft “Language” although he was pretty sure his friend had dropped his phone and couldn’t hear him.
“Bad, Bad is that you?” Skeppy’s voice was back.
“Yeah, it’s me” Bad smiled softly. “Are you alright? I heard a crash.”
“Where the FUCK have you been Bad?!” Skeppy yelled, ignoring his question. “Are you okay? Are you kidnapped? Are you in jail? I can pay ransom or bail or whatever the fuck you need. Why haven’t you called me? Where did you go? Are you ok Bad? Are you hurt? Where are you?”
“Ahhh language! Slow down Skeppy, slow down, I’m alright. Don’t worry you muffinhead.” Bad held the phone away from his ear, overwhelmed by Skeppy’s loud, rapid fire questioning. He hated the worry in Skeppy’s voice, yet part of Bad was happy with how much Skeppy clearly cared for him. “I’m alright, I’m safe. I’m not kidnapped, or in prison or anything. Stop throwing your money at me you muffinhead.”
“Bad, you’ve ignored all my calls for a week. A week. All my discord messages, and emails, and Twitter messages and everything. And not only me, you haven’t responded to anyone. I was worried out of my fucking mind!”
“Language”
“don’t language me. I can curse. I was so fuvking worried. Don’t you ever do that to me again you hear?”
“Sorry Skeppy. I don’t know if I can promise that without lying.”
Bad took a deep breath and tried to calm his nerves. There’s no use in delaying it. Better to get it over and done with.
“I tried to kill myself on Friday.”
“... what?”
“As you can see, I failed” Bad let out a soft laugh “now I’m in a psych ward.”
Skeppy is silent.
“Pretty chill here to be honest. Food Isn't bad. No muffins sadly but everything is edible. They have really good sloppy joes.” Bad rambled on “There’s a chalk board in the main room. I drew us on it. They didn’t have any blue chalk so now you’re green now just so you know. They didn’t have any red either so I’m orange.” Bad chuckled thinking of the image “it’s a bit funky but it’s us and-“
“Why?” Skeppy’s voice cut through Bad’s rambles.
“Why what?”
“Why would you do that?” Skeppy’s voice cut in.
“Oh…” Bad continued nonchalantly. “Well I thought green was the closest color to blue-“
“stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop deflecting, stop rambling on about stuff. Why would you do that to yourself?”
“I’m sorry. It's hard to say stuff like this out loud.”
Skeppy is silent.
“I'm sorry. It’s not you or anyone or anything. You’re amazing. Everything I have im so lucky. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m just not right for the world.” Bad’s voice cracked.
“Bullshit.”
“Language”
“Bad you. You idiot. You absolute idiot- why the- you- You- you make so many people happy. You make me so happy. Every second I’m with you is so- so- I don’t know. It’s epic and very cool. You make the world so much better.” Skeppy’s voice cracked with emotion.
Bad’s eyes welled up against his will and a rueful smile graced his lips. “I’m sorry. That doesn’t stop the emptiness. Thank you for saying all those things but I’m still broken.”
“You’re not broken. You’re Bad. You’re my best friend”
“You’re my best friend, too Geppy.”
“Please Bad. Please if we’re really- please don’t. Don't do that again. If you need someone I’m here. Please. You can always call me.”
“Thanks Geppy.”
They were both silent. The phone line crackled with soft breathing and Bad could hear sniffles on the other end. He couldn’t help but hate himself even more.
“Bad… that discord message. Was that.. goodbye?”
“Yeah,” he said softly. It was the only message he sent that day. He remembered being so tired when he typed it in the early hours of the morning. ‘Thank you for being my best friend. You’ll always be my favorite muffinhead. I'll always love you.’ Skeppy was asleep, unaware and unable to stop him.
Skeppy spoke gently “I think I knew the meaning of the message since the beginning. I think some part of me knew you attempted but.. I just… It's easier to imagine you being kidnapped or put in jail.”
Bad couldn’t help but slightly grin. “Well I can still be jailed if you really want me to. After all, I am a Bad Boy. I can commit some pretty heinous crimes.”
“No way! You’d definitely get kidnapped before you commit a crime!” Skeppy retorted.
“Nuh-uh. They’ll never catch me! I’m so big and beefy I’ll escape any kidnapping shenanigans.”
“No way! A person could be in a ski mask and black clothing with a black van and say they have muffins and you’ll follow them! Your definitely more kidnappable”
“No. I’d never,” Bad thought for a moment “well maybe if they were gluten free blueberry muffins.”
“See! Kidnappable!”
Skeppy laughed and Bad couldn't help but join him. The banter made things feel normal. Not the sad situation that it really was.
“It fells wrong to be laughing now” Skeppy said laughter dying down
“Well if we didn’t laugh, we’d cry. It’s better to try and laugh at the little things.” Bad said softly. “I rather be laughing with you than thinking of it all.”
“Alright we’ll talk more than. Everyday. You missed a week of me, we must make up for the lost time.”
“Ah ‘Geppy. There’s so much to do here group therapy, and art therapy and yeah. I cant always use the phone.”
“Call me tomorrow and if you don’t I’m taking your bed out of the mansion.”
“WhAT ‘GEPPY. That’s not fair I can’t play minecraft until I get out!”
“Well you better call me and get out soon so we can play. The longer you stay away the more… renovation I can do.”
“…” memories of past trolls flew through Bad’s mind. “Don’t you dare touch a hair on the mansions head.”
Skeppy laughed maniacally.
“‘GEPPY. WHATEVER YOURE THINKING NO. BAD ‘GEPPY!”
“You better get out soon to stop me!”
“Oh I will!” Bad laughed.
“And when you get out, you promise me you’ll visit me right away?”
“Of course ‘Geppy.” He smiled fondly at the phone. He was so lucky to have a friend like him. So lucky.
Bad heard the Nurses calling for dinner “Oh muffins! I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow?”
“You better.”
“I love you ‘Geppy!”
“Love you more Bad!”
His held to phone to his ear for a few seconds longer listening to Skeppy’s gentle breathing. He wished he could stay with him forever. The nurses called again and Bad reluctantly hung the phone on the wall with a click.
He couldn’t wait for tomorrow’s call.