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Working for years at the hospital, Minghao witnessed a lot of miracles and tragic deaths. Encountering it almost every single day made him understand the concept of existence. Life and death are just like two people madly in love with each other, for longer than we have words to describe. Ever since then, life is sending countless gifts to death and the other keeps it forever.
We are the gifts.
And little did Minghao know that the gift he would meet one day will be kept too soon by death.
“If you are a Cardiothoracic Surgeon, please immediately proceed to the emergency room. I repeat, if you are a Cardiothoracic Surgeon, please immediately proceed to the emergency room.”
Minghao’s body quickly tensed upon hearing the announcement through the speakers scattered in the hospital. There’s some sort of adrenaline rush that he feels whenever he hears urgent calls but it isn’t new to his senses. After years of experience being a surgeon, he acquired the skill to be calm and quick to react in situations like this.
Without hesitation, he dashed back to where the emergency room is. His knee-length white overcoat flowed out behind him and he pays no attention to the familiar faces he met along the way. Minghao silently thanked the heavens because he’s not that far to reach the ER in just the right time.
The emergency room is filled with busy people in their blue scrubs and white coat going all around the place. Within seconds of Minghao’s presence in the area, a man slightly tapped his shoulders.
“The patient is a six-year-old kid with high fever and difficulty breathing,” Minghao immediately recognized the voice of the man who approached him. It was Chan, his chief resident surgeon. Chan went past him and Minghao was quick to follow the other male’s lead. The two went half running and half walking towards the patient.
“Is the kid conscious?” Minghao asked while on their way.
“Unfortunately, no.”
Chan pulls the blue blinds surrounding the patient when they arrived. The kid is lying unconsciously in the bed and a nurse familiar to Minghao is standing beside the patient, checking the boy’s pulse. He immediately lowers his head to hear if the boy is still breathing. He still was, gladly.
“I physically examined him a minute ago using stethoscope, a murmur sound was present,” Chan explained. “His father also told us that he has been experiencing chest pains and night sweats the past few days. That’s why I suspect there’s some infection in the heart.”
With that, Minghao lifts up the boy’s shirt and pressed the upper left side of the abdomen. “His spleen is enlarged. This isn’t good. We should assess him with echocardiogram immediately. I’ll talk to the guardian, please transfer the boy to the pre-operative unit, Chan.”
“Copy, professor.”
Minghao isn’t really formal with his chief resident surgeon, it is only their work that push them to be so. Minghao with Chan is usually full of senseless fights and countless arguments with a lot of inside jokes. But when it comes to situations like this, it’s a matter of life and death. He’s glad that they both know how to act appropriately.
He met eyes with the nurse and simply nod, signaling her to lead the way. Minghao followed the nurse to the waiting room, both of them walking at a quick pace. As much as they can’t afford to waste the time, briefing the guardian is still necessary. Minghao planned the words he plans to say and prepared himself to explain the situation.
But to his surprise, the nurse led him to a man he’s very familiar of.
“Dr. Xu, this is the boy’s father.”
Minghao stood still in front of the guardian, suddenly unable to process the right words to say. His eyes interlocked with the man; mouth slightly opened. It’s Wen Junhui, his first love. The only man that he could only think of whenever his friends ask him why isn’t he in a relationship up until now.
It’s still the same, Minghao thought. From his fringe that slightly covers his forehead, highlighting his almond-shaped eyes, to the moles near his upper lip and his left cheek. Well, facial features don’t really change a lot when you’re in your twenties. Guess the thing that really stayed the same is the fluttery feeling Minghao felt while shortly adoring the male’s face.
Minghao doesn’t know if that was sincere, or because he was just lacking so much sleep that his body had no idea how to function properly anymore.
“Doc, what happened?” finally, Junhui broke the ice after the half a minute silence and right before the nurse could interrogate the two men because of the unnecessary and a bit long eye contact for people who met just a ‘few seconds’ ago.
“Your son is showing symptoms of endocarditis. It is an infection of the heart’s lining called endocardium. We just transferred him to the pre-operating unit to diagnose it and confirm. After confirming, we’ll let the fever subside and then we’ll begin surgery right away.”
Junhui’s face sunk. He looked down as he ran his fingers through his hair and crossed his arms, trying to take in the information of what Minghao just said. He pursed his lips and with a worried face he asked the question that doctors get a lot, “He’s not gonna die, right?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll do our best,” Minghao replied. Doctors aren’t really allowed to give guaranteed answers to those kinds of questions because there’s a lot of variables present and possible outcomes that may happen. But there’s something about Minghao's words that eased Junhui's troubled heart
“We have to assess your son as soon as possible so I’m heading in. The nurses will assist you.” Junhui threw a weak smile and simply nodded in reply. Minghao quickly proceeded to the operating unit. Though the revelation earlier had his thoughts flooding over his mind, he needed to focus on one thing for now; saving the little kid.
-----
It took an hour before Minghao confirmed the sickness. Diagnosing a patient does not really take too much time but they had to set up and get the kid treated for his fever. As they suspected, Junhui’s son is experiencing endocarditis and the boy needs surgery as soon as possible to prevent further damage to the endocardium. It’s worrisome but Minghao knows this case like the back of his hand because he has done this type of surgery quite a few times. For now, the nurses are looking after the kid and will notify them if the temperature gets back to normal.
He was on his way to his office with hopes of getting some sleep on his couch. Minghao decided to stay at the hospital for the meantime so he could respond quickly if ever he receives a call from the nurses. As he arrived the room, he laid himself down straight to the sofa. God knows how bone-weary he is after a day of consecutive surgery appointments and receiving an urgent one right before he decided to get some rest. Not that he’s complaining, Minghao’s used to it actually. It’s just that he did not expect to meet Junhui in his most exhausted state.
And to know that he already had a son in a way one could not possibly ever think of.
He brushed off the thought before he could overthink. He did reposition himself on the couch several times but it did not take long before finding the comfortable position and finally sleeping.
Few hours later, he woke up to the smell of caffeine. Minghao yawned as he sits up on the couch. He found Chan casually sitting at the near chair, sipping his iced coffee while using his phone on the other hand. The presence of the other male did not surprise him anymore. Minghao reached out for his phone on the other table, turned it on and immediately frowns after seeing that it’s already 7:45 in the morning.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Minghao said, stretching his arms. A hint of annoyance in his voice.
“How can I? You sleep so well.”
“I said wake me up at exactly 6 in the morning.”
“Relax, there’s no urgent calls and---”
“You know it’s not because of that,” Minghao cut him off.
“... And it’s raining! You can’t spend your leisure on the rooftop either,” Chan reasons out, his eyes never leaving the phone. Minghao sighs in defeat and just murmured a small thanks after taking a sip on the regular sized hot Americano Chan bought for him.
It became his routine to go on the rooftop of their hospital every early in the morning with some coffee that he’ll buy from the cafeteria. Morning breeze is what he’s really fond of and he figured out that it’ll be great to start the day enjoying the nice pleasant view from the top while the caffeine kicks in. Unfortunately, he can’t and won’t do it today.
“It was him, right?” Chan asked, out of the blue and without no context.
“What, who?” Minghao asked, utterly confused as he sips in his coffee and reclines on the couch.
“Your ex-lover,” Chan said and Minghao swore he almost got choked on the coffee he’s drinking. How the fuck did the other male figured out that fast? Minghao hasn’t even said a word about it yet. “I knew it,” Chan added when he eyed Minghao to see his reaction.
Right, there’s no need for him to be surprised about it. Chan is an extroverted guy and knows every single nurse and staff in the hospital. Add the fact that he frequently checks the records, surely the news of his ex-lover being the guardian of his patient can’t be hidden from this chief resident. It’s just that he didn’t expect it to be this sooner.
“Don’t tell me about it,” Minghao warns Chan but it didn’t really help because it interested the male much more.
“Why? Are you still into him? After all the years? I thought you moved on already. How did you find out? Is there this sudden spark after meeting him again?”
“Chan,” he uttered in a deadpan manner, not really liking how their conversation is going.
“Oh c’mon, you won’t really tell me about this? You know how mortifying for me that you always ditch last minute the blind dates I set up for you. And now you’re telling me to drop this conversation about him? At least justify yourself ‘cause I need to know if he’s the reason why you acted that way all along” Chan hastily said, making Minghao feel guilty for a moment.
Minghao took a deep breath and momentarily closed his eyes. “Ok, it doesn’t matter if I still have feelings for him now that I know his situation. I don’t want to be a home wrecker you know.”
“So, you do have feelings for him ‘til now.”
“Shut up,” he said as he stands up to get a new blue scrub. Minghao changed his clothes as Chan takes a call. He’s glad he did because he can’t really continue talking about it. It’s somehow disheartening to him.
After years of not having any connections, Minghao thought his feelings for Junhui would be long gone before he could ever notice. But as he involves himself with blind dates and flings, he realizes that he’s still incapable to be in a new relationship. He doesn’t really have the energy to be romantically engaged with someone until he met Junhui again. And he hates his self for that.
“Hao, the kid’s temperature went down. Let’s go.”
Minghao and Chan left the room in a dash, leaving their drinks half empty. Chan proceeded to the kid’s room to help the staff transfer the boy to the operating unit while Minghao walks in to the waiting area to talk to the guardian. He was about to ask Chan if he can talk to Junhui instead but the man said no before he could do so. Alright, personal feelings aside. It’s his responsibility anyway.
He immediately approached Junhui as soon as he saw the man. He’s the same as yesterday, white shirt tucked into his pale brown pants. It’s all the same except the puffiness and dark circles visible under his eyes.
“Doc, is he okay?” Junhui asked right away, voice full of concern.
“We have confirmed that your son has endocarditis. As the endocardium is badly damaged, it can’t be repaired anymore. We will resort to inserting a prosthetic valve,” Minghao explained thoroughly. “We just put him under a few minutes ago. The surgery will take about four hours but it may or may not be longer”
Junhui frowns deeply and quietly nods in reply. The male crossed his arms and bit his lower lip with a worried expression.
“I’ll do my best,” Minghao assured. He turned his back, taking a few steps away when Junhui suddenly held Minghao’s arm. The physical contact made Minghao’s heart skip a bit, chest feeling tingly.
“Please, save my son.”
There’s something about the male’s teary eyes and trembling lips that made Minghao feel the urge to comfort and hug him. But before he could do something that he may regret later on, he just held Junhui’s hand and give a promising nod. Minghao walks out of the scene just like that, proceeding to the operation room.
Looks like he will have a hard time focusing.
-----
Fortunately, the surgery went well. Haneul, the kid’s name that he’ll never know if Chan didn’t mention it a while ago, is now stable and was put under a care unit with the supervision of intensive care nurses. It did take an hour long than what he mentioned to Junhui earlier because of some complications along the process. Nevertheless, they managed to stop the health deterioration of the boy.
He is walking along the hallway with Chan, ready to deliver the good news to the guardian. He discarded the disposable surgical cap after removing it on his head and is about to continue walking when he noticed the other male heading to the other direction. Minghao called his attention and gave him a ‘where-are-you-going’ glare and he hates how Chan just casually shrugs his shoulder with a ‘my-job-is-done’ look.
Minghao swore he could break Chan’s kneecaps right at that moment but he couldn’t since Junhui is now fast approaching him. The nurses must’ve contacted the male that the surgery is done and Junhui must’ve waited too long for him to stand by in the lounge and wait for Minghao’s arrival.
“Doc, did the surgery go well?” Junhui breathlessly asked. Minghao can’t help but to avert his gaze when he saw Junhui’s eyes fixated on his. He faked a cough and straightens up before answering the other man.
“The surgery took longer than what we expected it to be due to some complications but the surgery went well and---”
Minghao was cut off before he could even finish explaining and the next thing he knew, Junhui is hugging him, arms encircled around his neck and face resting on his shoulder. Minghao was quite surprised—no, astonished to be honest, to know that he is this close to the man but he couldn’t get out of it either. Not that he doesn’t like it, but it’s way too close that Minghao’s afraid he’ll be able to hear the way his heart sounded so loud that time.
A little while after, he could hear very well the sound of Junhui sniffing. Minghao’s shoulder felt a little damp and he knew at that moment that he had to comfort the male. So, he did as he snaked his hands at Junhui’s back and gave it little pats. “You held out so well,” Minghao whispered and he knew Junhui heard it from the way his sobs sounded.
Junhui is fond of children and Minghao knows it very well. It must’ve been so horrifying for the male to find out that his own son has a serious illness. He knew the five hours wait felt like a torture to Junhui and a part of him wants to apologize for it.
Miraculously, there’s only a few people going back and forth along the hallway and Minghao somehow tried his best to focus on comforting the male rather than the attention that they’ll get for staying like that for a couple of minutes. The burden Junhui carried felt so heavy for Minghao to worry on other things.
When he felt Junhui loosing up the hug, he did the same. There’s some awkward silence after their separation but thankfully Junhui broke the ice, “Thank you. I owe you a big one.”
There’s a skip in Minghao’s heart after finally seeing the smile of the man that he had adored for so long. He tried to pretend cool, of course, and act like it doesn’t really affect him. “That’s not for free though, you have to settle the payment,” he half-jokingly said and Junhui’s chuckle tickles his ears.
“Are you free now?” Junhui asked.
Minghao looks up something on his phone, as if checking his schedule that day, although there’s really nothing to look at.
“I think so,” he confirmed.
“Want to have lunch together?”
And with that, Minghao flashed a small smile and nods. It’s already 1:51 in the afternoon and the thought of Junhui, just like any parent or relative of his patient, didn’t probably eat any food during the surgery hours makes him feel bad.
Minghao guess there’s nothing wrong to eat a meal with Junhui. They have a lot to catch up after all.
-----
It kinda feels weird and familiar at the same time to have Junhui sitting on the opposite side of him with a table between them. It’s as if he was thrown back to the past, when he would go on dinner dates with the man and just casually talk about how their day went. Junhui would complain about how his professor didn’t give him the grades he knows he deserve or about his air fryer that he bought from an online shop that didn’t last for weeks or about how he is so into multiplayer online battle games that he would spend eight hours straight playing it. And Minghao, just like how he has always been, would just listen, laugh and sometimes complain with him.
It was fun while it lasted.
“So, how’s life?” after minutes of just plain eating noises, Junhui decided to finally speak while digging up his food.
Minghao paused for a bit, thinking about how to summarize his life in a sentence. “Good. Kinda busy with work but yeah, I got used to it,” he didn’t lie though. Working as a lead surgeon for the past few years got him so busy but the financial stability that it provides is much more than that. Considering that it is Minghao’s greatest passion—to aid someone through his skills and knowledge—that makes him able to start life investments, he couldn’t ask for more. Minghao knew he’s contented, at least, to his current status (except that his mom isn’t and keeps on bugging him to be married) because he doesn’t really need romantic relationships as of the moment.
Or does he? There’s an occurring of sudden desire to be involved in one when he finally met Junhui again in flesh. How can he not when the next conversations they had is full of Junhui giving small signs of affection?
“You don’t like kimchi, right? I’ll take yours,” Minghao just nods.
“Oh, is your water cold? I’ll get you a warm one. You prefer those right?” nods again.
“Wait, you’re allergic to peanuts, right? I think this dish has nut content; I’ll eat it for you,” and nods again for the umpteenth time.
Never had he thought that the male would remember such small details. And he hates Junhui for showing concern too much that he is afraid he’ll be falling into a potential pitfall called endearment knowing fully well that Junhui has a family.
He dismisses the thought quickly and tried to start conversing about trivial things, avoiding any topics that might bring up anything personal. Minghao isn’t ready for it, yet. At least, for this very short moment, he’ll let himself enjoy the company of the young man.
They laughed and teased each other so much that their plates were long finished without them being fully aware. If it weren’t for the sudden call Minghao received, they wouldn’t notice the time.
“So, I’ll be able to see my son, right?” Junhui asked, staring hopefully at him while flashing a small smile.
“Yup. I told you I’ll let you know,” Minghao assured as he waved his hand at the young man and bids goodbye then turned his back, proceeding to the sudden conference their chief held.
-----
True to his words, Minghao let Junhui have the chance to see his son in the care unit. And as if the kid sensed his father’s presence, Haneul woke up from his unconsciousness right at the moment his father is in the room.
It was such a heartwarming scene. Moments like those stir the fire in him to continue his passion that he has been pursuing for so long.
But there’s a lingering question in his mind for the almost three days Haneul is confined; where’s the mom? Minghao has yet to see her.
Minghao dismissed the thought and checked the time through his phone as he goes out of his car. It’s quarter to six in the morning, just the right time to arrive to the hospital, get some fresh air at the rooftop and wait for the caffeine to kick in. He proceeds to the hospital just like the usual routine - riding the elevator, stopping by the café to order his favorite coffee, rides the elevator again, getting off to the highest floor and then sitting by the rooftop bench – so that he’ll have the feeling that he started the day right.
He took a sip of his hot cappuccino as the cold breeze of the early morning touches his skin and rouse him to wakefulness. Minghao likes the tranquil feeling it provides and how it let him breathe as the white surfaces of the hospital sometimes suffocates him.
“Hi.”
Minghao almost jumped on his seat to the sudden and familiar voice he heard. It was Junhui, smiling knowingly at him while holding a drink that he must’ve been bought from the same café. “Can I….join you?” the male asked and Minghao finds the short pause between Junhui’s words adorable. He simply nods as a response.
The two is now sitting near the edges of the bench with a little wide space between them. There’s a disturbing long silence after the conversation they just had and it seems like neither wants to speak. What’s there to converse after all? Junhui doesn’t really owe Minghao an explanation. The male is here as a patient’s guardian and he is here as a surgeon. Although Minghao is feeling the urge to talk about Junhui’s own family, a part of him doesn’t want to because he knows he’ll be confronted by the silly reality that he has to end this fluttery feeling towards the man.
“Minghao, I’m sorry,” and just like how it has always have been, Junhui broke the ice between them.
“For what?”
“For everything.”
“You know I hate vague answers.”
“Sorry, I just think I have a lot to apologize for.”
Minghao’s heart silently shattered. He was suddenly thrown back to the past, feeling a vivid emotion of dismay. It was not really Junhui’s fault that they broke up, but it was their situation that pushed them to do so. Junhui had to move in to their province to settle major family conflicts and Minghao had to really focus on his studies. Both of them is obviously not a fan of long-distance relationships and they knew they wouldn’t make time for each other anymore.
“If you’re talking about the break up, don’t be. It was a mutual decision,” Minghao casually assured the male, trying to sound like talking about this topic isn’t that big deal for him. But to be frank, from time-to-time, Minghao actually thinks about what it would be like if they both took the risk.
Junhui heaved a sigh. And Minghao don’t like how the atmosphere tensed up. “You do have to apologize for not inviting me to your wedding though,” he jokingly said instead, partly to ease up the conversation and partly to confirm his intuitions.
“Oh…yeah about that, I really didn’t have a wedding,” Junhui explained as he coughs up and straightens his back. “I legally adopted Haneul as a single parent,” he added with seriousness all over his face.
Minghao eyes widened in realization and turned his head, facing the male.
“You know that my parents run a foster home, right? And their job is to take care of the kids who’ll be available for adoption.” Junhui takes a deep breath. “As for Haneul, he is a great kid. Back then I thought he’s way too smart for his age. That boy can be oddly adorable too at times. No wonder, someone from states was willing to adopt him.”
Minghao just listened intently to the male.
“But then after Haneul was migrated to states, the parents decided to cancel the adoption. Maybe that time they knew Haneul has a heart defect. I felt so furious and I knew I had to do what I think I should do that time. I migrated to states to get Haneul and that’s how I ended up deciding to adopt him.”
It is visible to Minghao how Junhui’s cheeks suddenly glistened with tears. The male quickly wiped his own tears away. “Not again,” Junhui said, laughing nervously while trying his best not to cry. Minghao draw closer, draping his arms around Junhui’s shoulders and caressing it ever so slightly.
He hates this. Minghao hates how after all the years, he can still see how vulnerable Junhui is. Because every time that he does, it makes him want to protect the man.
“I don’t regret having him as my son but I think he regrets having me as his dad. I should’ve taken care of him much better,” Junhui’s words slowly became incoherent as he sobs. “It wasn’t your fault, Junhui. Don’t blame yourself,” Minghao assured the male.
It’s painful to hear how Junhui can’t control the way his sobs sounded. Minghao can’t help but to engulf the male into a tight hug. As much as he hates how small contacts with Junhui affects his heart rate so much, he can’t bring himself to it.
They stayed in that position for who knows how long. When Minghao decided to let loose, Junhui placed a hand on Minghao’s arms, stopping Minghao to completely break the hug and making him directly face the male while his arms are still encircled around Junhui’s neck. Minghao stared questioningly at Junhui’s hand for a moment and then back to Junhui but then felt blood rushing to his cheeks and ears when he realized that his face is too close to the male.
“Junhui, wha-“
“Minghao, I still like you.”
What?
“I know this is way too sudden, it probably took you by surprise. But I’ve been thinking about this for some time, I swear. I’m not sure when did this feeling start but there’s one thing I’m certain for and it’s that I don’t really wanna lose you again,” Junhui said, albeit a little incoherent to Minghao, he can feel a sense of sincerity in the spoken words.
Minghao didn’t really had the time to sink in all the words coming out from Junhui’s lips. The sudden confession made it hard for his mind to process everything and his heart significantly sounded so loud at that time. He just felt that he had stared at the male for a minute or two when Junhui’s lips started moving again.
“I know you probably may have a boyfriend right now. It’s been years since our break up after all. But still…”
Those lips.
With no more words, Minghao closed the gap between their face, cutting Junhui off of his words, meeting each other’s lips. Junhui’s eyes widened in realization, but closed it just like how Minghao did after some time. It was a simple light quick peck but enough to send thousands of volts to each other’s body, chest feeling warm and stomach tingles.
Minghao detached himself from the young man after some time, creating the awkward tension between them. They both tried to casually sit up straight, avoiding each other’s gazes.
It is a blessing that no one else is around the rooftop at that time as Minghao had the chance to look around. Hopefully, there’s no one.
Neither of them dared to speak. I guess finding the right words to say can be a little difficult after what just had happened. But then when MInghao had enough of the silence, he broke the ice instead of waiting for Junhui to do it.
“So, will you court me? Or will I court you?”
And that’s how they end up laughing and endlessly conversing about each other while their coffees get cold, long forgotten.
-----
Everything suddenly feels domestic.
From the way he can’t seem to hold his giggles when he exchanges texts with Junhui, to how he got used to Junhui giving him his favorite coffee every early morning and also the little skip in his heartbeat whenever Junhui tries to intertwine hands with him. The things he does with the other male felt like something he hasn’t done for years and has been wanting to experience it again ever since.
“Let’s go drink.”
Minghao lost his train of thoughts after Chan disrupted and casually sat beside him. He is waiting someone at the lobby, right in front of the main transparent glass door of the hospital when his chief resident suddenly approached him.
“I can’t. Meeting someone today,” he said with a cheeky smile on his face as he turned his head to face the other. Chan could only crease his eyebrows and glare at the young man for his action.
“Fuck you.”
“Go on and find a date then.”
“I hate you so much. Bye.”
Both of them chuckled between their conversation and Minghao smiled to the sight of Chan walking out of the hospital. It is already late at night and Minghao is just waiting for Junhui to fetch him.
Haneul was already discharged few days ago, and as much as Junhui wanted to go on outside dates with Minghao, he doesn’t want to leave Haneul behind (and Minghao totally understands that) so they opted for late night date at Junhui’s home instead. He’s actually anticipating this night because of how he missed a lot of opportunities due to his work.
Minghao turns on his phone again and checks his messages. It’s been past fifteen minutes after he texted Minghao with ‘waiting for you here! take care <3’ and to be honest, it didn’t really bother him that much because the male must’ve gone to drive already.
He tries to stall for time by playing the offline games he downloaded on his phone. Couple of nurses are greeting him from time to time as they went past by him and Minghao greets them back. Minghao waited and waited, consistently checking the time, until an hour passed by. What’s taking Junhui so long?, he thought.
Minghao tried calling Junhui several times, but the male did not answer. He texted the male too, hoping that Junhui would be able to read them. Minghao is getting worried but tried not to think much about it. He sure knows Junhui had a reason why he didn’t show up tonight.
When he is about to leave the hospital, he was taken aback by the emergency team rushing in. Minghao just had a quick glance at the body they were sending in towards the emergency room. A man, probably in his twenties, with some casual clothes on and a familiar shoe he saw somewhere else but couldn’t remember. Minghao didn’t had the time to take a good look of the face but a part of his mind says that it’s someone he knew.
No, that clearly can’t be it. It’s just his anxiousness acting up. He dismisses the thought quickly and proceeds to where his car is parked. As he drags himself outside, the bad intuition of his kept on growing inside of him. Minghao checks his messages on his phone again, still no replies from Junhui. He tried calling him once again, still no response either.
“Fuck.”
The word that he muttered under his breath as he decided to dash back to the hospital after minutes of standing outside of his car.
Minghao hates himself for thinking this way. There’s a thousand of possibilities of what happened to Junhui and why the man can’t response to him but why does his mind think of the worst possible scenario the most?
“Time of death, 10:41 PM.”
It wasn’t easy for Minghao to find where the emergency rescuers stationed the man at the room because it was a bit crowded that time; but when he did, the doctor was already pronouncing the time of death.
Dead upon arrival.
Shaking, with all the strength he could gather, he drew the hospital blinds that were surrounding the patient and was beyond horrified as he burst out in tears knowing that it is the man he was supposed to meet tonight.
-----
Minghao looks up at the sky as the gentle breeze touches his skin. The nature ambiance of the place is letting him be immersed in deep thoughts and reminisce the one he misses the most.
It doesn’t feel like it but it’s been a year since Junhui passed away. It must’ve been because he visits the male’s grave too frequently as if it is his second home. Well, now that he’s currently unemployed, he has his whole time in his hands unlike before.
Yes, unemployed. The incident happened last year was that traumatizing for Minghao that he knew it is a valid reason to resign. Minghao considered that decision anyway because he also knew he needed time to unwind and to reflect in life. Time to appreciate the people around him more than before.
“Uncle, what do we eat for lunch?”
He looked down to the voice and smiles at Haneul. Minghao decided to go to the cemetery with Haneul to commemorate the first death anniversary of the kid’s father. He caressed the younger’s head and replied, “Your favorite, of course.”
“Yay! Chicken!”
Minghao let out a short chuckle at the younger’s enthusiasm. He grew fond of Haneul over time and occasionally they visit Junhui’s grave together.
There came a time when he would wonder what’s so special about Haneul that Junhui decided to take all the means and adopt the young boy. But after knowing that Junhui has a genetic heart defect after the cardiac arrest accident of the man, Minghao now understands it better. The young man probably sympathized well with Haneul.
And now that he established a good rapport with Haneul, Minghao promised to himself that he would always take care of the young child.
“Let’s go?” Minghao asked the boy after placing the bouquet near the tombstone. He bid goodbye to Junhui and hopes that the man hears it well.
He held Haneul’s hand as they walked their way out of the place. With his free hand, he touches his necklace and felt the human heart shaped design of it. The thought of Junhui brought the necklace for him and was supposed to give it that night still breaks his heart.
Minghao just hopes that there is an end to the grieving a human heart can do. Just like how a rainfall ends no matter how strong it is, perhaps there can also be a limit to the tears his body could produce.
-----
“If ever I’ll be giving you a gift, what do you want?” Junhui asked.
Minghao thinks for a while. “Ah, right. A necklace, I guess. I’ve never worn any since birth.”
Junhui nods, smiling knowingly. “I’ll gift you the most precious necklace you could wear then.”
But little did the young man know, that he is the most precious gift Minghao ever received.
The gift that was kept too soon by death.