Chapter Text
Theron opened his eyes. He had pins and needles in his legs, and his back started to hurt. How long has he been like that, meditating, waiting for a feeling that wasn't coming? Especially since he wasn't sure exactly what he was waiting for. Master Zho said the Force could manifest itself in different forms, that he would know once it will be there... but the child couldn't feel anything, couldn't sense. That's the word his master always used. And for the few years he had been training, Theron never sensed anything at all.
“Focus, Theron. You can't give up now.”
The young boy raised his head to try and catch the old man's eyes. But he had them closed, unifying himself with the Force. Theron knew it because of the small stones that were flying all around his master. Some days he envied him. Zho always looked so calm, so peaceful in those moments. Theron wished he could feel the same.
“I can't, Master. I don't feel the Force. It doesn't want to come. And I can't feel my legs. I don't want to lose them.”
Theron thought he caught a discreet smile on the Jedi's face, but it disappeared in an instant, and he then thought he had dreamed it. The youngling sighed. He simply couldn't stay motionless like that. He needed to move.
Master Zho had said before he was a boisterous child. That he was unable to stand still more than a few minutes. The young one didn't want to disappoint his master. But he was feeling like all of this was useless, and he wondered once again what exactly was the purpose of this exercise. He had tried, as hard as he could, to stay concentrated, but it was a wasted effort, and all of this was starting to irritate him. And like it is often the case for children of his age, all he wanted to do was to stop and go play, run, anything really that wasn't involving staying on his knees for hours.
“Can I go now, Master Zho?” he asked, hopeful.
The old man finally opened his eyes and gazed at his young apprentice. Theron shuddered. He was feeling like a disappointment. Like he wasn't trying hard enough. That it was his fault that he couldn't feel the Force. He knew he got easily distracted, all the time, but he was still trying as hard as he could, just to make Master Zho proud. But as the years passed, and despite the encouragement of the Jedi, nothing had changed. The Force just wasn't manifesting. And, sometimes, he hated himself for that.
“You have to be patient, young man. One day, you'll be able to sense the Force, within and without you. You're still young, you have a lot to learn, and you still have time.”
But behind those words, Theron knew even Master Zho had his doubts. He was maybe not attuned with the Force, but he wasn't an idiot. And, one quality he had what that he was very observant. And observing his Master told him one thing : Zho knew something wasn't right.