Work Text:
Lying comfortably on the bed in the Hanok Stay guesthouse in Seoul, I gazed at the figure of my boyfriend on the edge of it, transversal to me. In the next room, one of our managers was with one of BTS's official cameramen.
From this position, I was able to see the shots from the video Taehyung watched on my cell phone. The protagonist was himself, and the background music, "Winter Bear," was composed by him. I had edited the footage taken by Kim during our tour into a sort of home-made MV, displaying urban and natural landscapes where Taehyung passed through, as well as snippets of himself taking pictures and recording videos, since it meant a more intimate atmosphere for the viewers.
Taehyung loved to create this kind of connection with the fans by his peculiar way of perceiving the world, also revealing his own serenity in introspective moments; after all, for a long time, he was usually referred to the extreme opposite of that. And just like any human being, Taehyung also had his personality nuances. These ones he was lately trying to balance more than ever.
But I loved all these nuances.
I loved the playful and pure Taehyung, the talented and centered Taehyung, the observant and meticulous Taehyung, the sensitive and creative Taehyung, the cautious and dreamy Taehyung, the seductive and irresistible Taehyung.
Everything he could offer.
And at that moment I witnessed a vulnerable yet thrilled Taehyung, watching and listening to himself, struggling to believe he was worthy of being proud of his own work.
On the small table beside the bed, a camera used for recording Bangtan Bombs was on. At one point, I moved to lie on my stomach with him, both of us focused on the part of the video apparently completed. It always had a chance for Taehyung change his mind about some detail or other. But, until now, he seemed satisfied with my work, shaking my fool heart.
Although... I was a full-time fool for Taehyung anyway.
Once I was numbed by the citrus scent emanating from the man, I returned to where I was standing, still admiring him from afar. Taehyung could be charming just by the act of breathing, and I had to restrain myself from kissing him while the camera was on. Not least because I had already done so when we returned from dinner. But you can never have enough passionate kisses, cuddles and sighs with Kim Taehyung. At least, not for me.
- What are you thinking about? - I asked, looking for any subject so the video wouldn't be too vague by the time it was posted.
- It's just that... I felt a lot of emotions after seeing a movie in London last year.
- About bears?
I couldn't miss the chance to joke a little, but I knew Taehyung meant "About Time," one of his favorite movies. I also knew which scenes impressed him the most, because he told me as soon as he showed "Winter Bear" for the first time and talked about his inspiration for the lyrics.
I only couldn't understand why he took so long to show me.
It happened when Kim decided to make an improvised MV during the last tour and asked me to help him, though I am usually the first one to appreciate his new artistic endeavors. Obviously I wouldn't deny it, but I've been curious since then, waiting for the best moment to bring up the subject.
- No... - he murmured, looking at me for a moment - I was just thinking about what I should use as an analogy. So, I chose bears.
Seconds later, while Taehyung finished watching the video, I sang a part of the song in a mocking way, but he wouldn't be upset. I had always shown genuine support for everything Kim set out to do, and vice versa. But I still had difficulties to show the fans my compositions, while Taehyung didn't risk much in doing covers, which sounded easier to me. In the end, the courage of each other inspires us.
After my request to watch the video again from the beginning, Taehyung stretched out his arm to turn off the camera, finishing the Bangtan Bomb. When it was over, he put his cell phone in a random corner, turned around and hugged me, wrapping one of his legs around mine. He then spread little kisses all over my face, which made me smile in shyness before he placed them on my lips.
In between brief pecks and gentle sucks, I moved the tip of my tongue to touch his, tangling them like my fingers through his hair, until our lips pressed together again.
It was slow, sweet and warm, giving me the feeling of melting little by little in his arms.
Taehyung didn't have to do much for me to be out of my mind.
- Jungkook-ah? - he whispered through the kisses, stroking my neck with both hands.
- Yes? - I nibbled his upper lip.
-Are you really going with me tomorrow morning to shoot extra scenes for my MV? - his eyes sparkle with anticipation.
- Hm... - I pretend to think, looking sarcastically at him - I'll probably die of sleep, but... For you, I think it's worth the sacrifice of getting out of bed so early.
- Very funny. - he chuckled, and a wicked smile adorned the pretty face I was fingering - But you bet someday we'll spend a long, long time in bed just to compensate everything...
- And then have no more strength to get up?
- Yes!
- How dirty. - I bite my lower lip, grinning back - I like it!
- I knew you'd like it. - under the comforter, I feel a slap on my ass - So, let's sleep! I've already set the alarm clock.
- Yeah, but we're still wearing the clothes we arrived in at the airport, because we came straight here. We must change.
- Or we can go to sleep without any. - he laughed again, and I followed with another laugh.
- Hyung, what time do you really plan to sleep...?
- We can enjoy a quick shower time. - he licked his lips lustfully, taking off my blouse, which I had already unbuttoned since we laid down.
- In this case, it's hard to resist...... - I murmur, giggling, but soon panting at the wet pecks suddenly tracing across my neck.
Taehyung had gone into predatory mode.
And I was ready to give myself away.
~♡~
We were on our way to a coffee shop called Chi-Yang Chu, located in one of Seoul's most bucolic settings. It was close to forests where bears were everywhere. Therefore, the establishment's symbol was a figure representing Big Dipper constellation. When Taehyung found out about the place, he thought it was so thematic he had to visit over the green mountain where we were heading.
At the coffee shop I would also meet my parents, who were also bringing the family dog, Gureum, at Taehyung's own request, since I intended to see them that same day. They knew about our relationship, and despite their initial reluctance, were now supportive. With Taehyung's parents, it was a little more complicated. However, as time went by, things were getting settled.
During the car ride, Taehyung was happy to write the "Winter Bear" logo on a blank sheet of paper. This same sheet would be placed on the grass next to the two wooden bears that Jimin gave him as a gift in honor of the song. Taehyung had the idea of using them to create a simple yet meaningful cover with the bears around it.
We met my parents, had breakfast and talked for a while. Then we went back outdoors, heading for the landscapes Taehyung had seen on his cellphone and considered perfect for shooting.
With my own cellphone, I recorded him from different angles, as did the cameraman who came with us. It was fun, and even touching, watching Taehyung interact with Gureum. We rarely managed to bring him to Seoul, unlike Yeontan, who lived with the Kim family in a neighborhood not far from our dormitory.
Around half an hour later, Taehyung seemed content with the new material we got. So we played a little more with Gureum and then the manager took us to a restaurant nearby the hostel for lunch. Afterwards, we drove around again, this time with my parents, until returning for another night at the hotel. I would spend more time with my family the next day before taking them to the bus station, because I never know when I might see them again.
~♡~
I showered with Taehyung before we went to bed, each in pajamas improvised by loose-fitting blouses and shorts.
With the lampshade on, we turned toward each other, smiling in the half-light. Kim stroked my cheek with his fingertips and approached me for a few seconds of slow kissing. We opened our eyes, and smiling again, I kissed the other's chin.
The lamp was on the small table beside me, and I was about to turn off the light, but I kept my gaze fixed on Taehyung's, decided to solve a certain question, so I nestled closer to him.
- Hyung...
- Hm?
- May I ask you something?
- Sure.
I looked away for a moment, feeling my heart racing.
- Why... Did you take longer than usual to show me "Winter Bear"? - I stroked the hair on the back of his neck, noticing his shortness of breath. - You even looked... A little nervous when I heard it for the first time, at your front, checking the translation and everything.
- Ah... - embarrassed, a short chuckle escapes him - W-well... I told you about the scene that inspired me when I saw "About Time", right?
- Yes, the marriage proposal when the woman was still sleepy in bed. She was surprised early in the morning, but in a good way.
- And why so early?
- Because the guy couldn't wait for her to wake up. He had to show immediately how much he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.
- Exactly.
A sudden silence fills the room. Taehyung's cheeks are flushed, his eyes are doubled in size and his lips are compressed as he stares at me, visibly apprehensive.
- Hyung...?
When realization hits me, I mirror his symptoms of embarrassment.
My hand runs down the curve of his neck, stopping there, as our heartbeats increase even more.
- That's right. - Kim looks down, laughing mirthlessly again - I... I thought about a lot of things when composing. The many possible meanings and interpretations. The metaphors about longing, warmth, and tenderness. But... I couldn't help but think of... H-how would it be if... I-I... Would live that moment in the movie with you. - I remain silent, stunned, assimilating his words spoken with so much sincerity, and he looks at me again - S-so, I was abashed to let you know right away, b-because it'd be too soon to talk about it, and...!
I can't resist interrupting him with a chaste kiss on his slightly trembling mouth. I slowly pull away, staring him in the eyes and holding his hands with the same affection as the smile directed at him.
- Hyung... Don't you realize that... We're practically married already? - I interlace our fingers under the duvet - We live in the same house, share the same room and often the same bed. We even have two adopted children, Gureum and Tanie. By the way, you made sure I put Tanie's name in the Persona dedications. We also always have breakfast together, just the two of us, when we stay in hotels, even when we don't sleep in the same room, just to start the day next to each other. I always fix your clothes at events, and you hardly ever take your hands off me, out of habit of touching me. I take care of you and listen to your problems to the point of being called "hyung". You protect me and worry when you think I'm trying too hard. You also help me not getting so tense when shyness hits me hard before a performance. Our outings to restaurants and cinemas, our walks and trips, our photos and videos alone, everything is done in secret. We avoid publicizing them, because they are too special for anyone to see. They are just us. - at this point, Taehyung already had teary eyes, and so did I - The ceremony itself would only be a mere symbolism, but... Even if it never happens... Our hearts, for a long time, already know what we feel. And they are one.
Tears run down Taehyung's face in thin lines, just like mine, and we both laugh clumsily as we try to wipe each other with our thumbs.
- Jeon Jungkook... You are unbelievable. But that's why I love you.
- Hm... That's all? - I give him a sly little pout, knowing he would easily surrender.
- There you go with those silly questions... - he smiles and kisses my forehead - I love you for being the way you are, for being patient with me all this time, and for letting me discover new ways to fall in love when I least expect it. Like right now. There will never be just one reason, but... All of them are enough. So... You are my beautiful teddy bear, and your sleepy crumpled face is the cutest thing in the world, and I want to be with you for every season possible, year after year. I even plan to buy our little house in Hawaii, see? You promised to live there with me! It will be one of our refuges from all the craziness this celebrity life can bring.
I smile sheepishly, trying to keep my voice from being shaken by too much emotion:
- Well... Needless to say being anywhere with you is enough to be fun, right?
- Right.
- Okay.
So, we shared more of those kisses which convey all the feelings overflowing from us when we love another person, being dragged and drowned more and more in someone else's presence, swimming to the depths of the hidden treasures we discovered.
And my greatest treasure would always be Taehyung himself.
With him, I could hibernate enveloped by our love, and I would wake up more than happy to find him by my side.
In rain or in shine.
In snow or in drought.
In day or night.
Until death do us part.
And then, bound together by a feeling so sublime, we will meet again in other lives.