Work Text:
Jean places his son on his shoulders and hands him the rock. “This is the rock that caught your wheel, throw it for scaring your knee. You’ll feel better.” Oliver looks at the rock and then his knee. He throws it into the bushes.
“Yes! How do you feel?”
“Better.”
Armin taps Oliver’s foot and he looks down to see Armin with another rock in hand. “This is for your bike. It fell from Daddy’s pocket. “
Jean takes it and hands it to the boy who aims a little closer, it lands in front of the bushes.
Armin picks one up and throws it, this one lands farther than the other two. Jean watches as Armin just stands there, looking out.
“Good job Papa.” The only response is a half smile. Jean sees the brokenness behind it and something inside him snaps.
Jean lifts Oliver off his shoulders, “Down you go, baby.” He sets him in between the two of them. He grabs Armin’s hand. Jean grabs a rock, inhales, takes a step back and steps forward, releasing the rock. It goes farther than all 3 of them. Oliver, unaware of the significance, stands amazed.
“Good aim Daddy.”
He looks at Armin and tears fall down his face. “Oliver go inside.”
Armin grips his hand tighter, and looks at him. “It’s okay buddy.” Armin releases his hand and Oliver runs inside, they wait until the door shuts and their son isn’t peeking through the window.
Jean sighs, “Why Armin? Why can’t you accept that you saved the world and have no scars? You can't be happy with your flawless skin? I would give anything to have your skin but you don’t want it. Why?”
“Why? You’re asking me why? Because I want proof! I want to show my child that I did save the world, that I fought the titans and lived, that we almost died countless times but didn’t. To show people that I lived, that I survived, that I’ve been hurt.” He half mumbles, half whispers that last line but still loud enough for Jean to hear.
“I know that you don’t think people will believe you when you tell them what you’ve suffered, but is it not enough that I acknowledge your trauma? That I, your husband, the man you loved enough to marry, understand your feelings? Am I not enough?” Armin gasps at his words, and sees more tears fall down Jean’s face.
“Please don’t say that. You’re more than enough, you’re everything I want. I love you and nothing will ever change that.”
“Do you know what it’s like to live with you? Always searching for more, for...for proof. You want proof? Look at the cabin, huh.” He looks at it, “Sure it’s messy inside but you know that’s okay because it proves that people live there, That life is lived inside. We dance, we sing, we laugh, we cry, we tell stories. We do that because we deserve it. And Oliver, our son, the sweetest, most kind boy you will ever meet? He’s only like that because of you. Scars, no scars, he doesn’t care, he wants to play with you and hear bedtime stories and show you weird things in the dirt. He loves you, we both love you.”
He half turns away and lets the tears fall. Armin stands frozen thinking about his partner’s words.
Armin moves forward, grabs Jean’s left hand and kisses the wedding ring. Jean sees his husband and without thinking bends down and Armin jumps in his arms. Their lips on each other the saltiness of the tears adding to the raw kiss. Jean puts his head on Armin’s chest and Armin runs a hand through long hair. “Please, I just- I want to be enough, let me be enough, Min.”
Armin tilts Jean’s head up and looks directly into his eyes. “You are enough and you will always be enough.” Armin kisses Jean’s forehead and buries his head in the crook of Jean’s neck.
Oliver, who was watching through the window, runs outside and hugs Jean’s leg. Jean picks him up too and he wraps his little arms around both of them.