Work Text:
“This is blatantly false.”
“It’s a fucking joke, Fugo, God!”
“It’s blatantly unfunny, then.”
“Maybe you just don’t get the joke.”
“He definitely doesn’t get the joke.”
“No one asked you, Mista.”
“I’m just sayin’…”
“Watch it, Mista, he’s got that stabby look in his eyes.”
“As long as he doesn’t have a stabby anything in his hands.”
“Is that supposed to be funny? Because it’s not.”
“I’ll have you know I’m fucking hilarious.”
“You’re not.”
“C’mon, Fugo, you gotta admit he was at least a little funny.”
“I don’t ‘gotta’ do any such thing.”
“He does have a sense of humor, Mista.”
“Does he?”
“Fuck you, I do, actually. You’re just not as funny as you think you are.”
“And you’re not as scary as you think you are.”
“He’s got a point there.”
“I never said I was scary.”
“Good! Because you don’t scare me at all!”
“You do scar him, though.”
“Still not funny, Mista.”
“Yeah, Mista, not funny at all. What the fuck’s wrong with you? He said he was sorry!”
“He stuck a fork in you!”
“Because I was done!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You know, 'stick a fork in him, he’s done!'”
“I can’t believe you’re excusing - wait, is Fugo laughing at that? At that?”
“Stick a fork in him; he’s done…”
“Narancia, I think you broke Fugo.”
“You just have no sense of humor.”
“I do too!”
“He’s done…”
“Is Fugo wheezing right now?”
“I’m just funnier than you, what can I say?”
“Fugo, seriously, that wasn’t that funny. I can’t believe you’re laughing at that but not my impasta joke.”
“Fork…done…”
“Are you seriously crying over that?”
“I’m funnier than you.”
“You’re not. Fugo just has a weird fork fetish.”
“Funnier than yooooou.”
“Oh, fuck you, you are not. Hey, Giorno! Gioooo stop in here, I got a question for you. What do you call imitation spaghetti?”
“Imitation spaghetti?”
“Yeah!”
“An impasta?”
“See? Giorno gets it!”
“Giorno’s not laughing, though.”
“Was I supposed to? Guido, ask me again so I can respond appropriately this time.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I was just trying to make a point.”
“And failing!”
“Shut up, Narancia!”
“Make me!”
“What’s wrong with Fugo? Is he crying?”
“Fugo has a shit sense of humor, that’s what’s wrong with him. It’s not that funny, Pannacotta!”
“So nothing is wrong then; he’s just laughing?”
“Because Narancia broke him.”
“He did, did he?”
“Oh my God, Giorno, no. Tell me you didn’t just make a sex joke involving those two.”
“Hey, Giorno, why don’t you tell Mista it’s not the size of the fork; it’s how you use it! Right, Fugo?”
“Not the size of the fork…you are not really talking about a fork, are you?”
“Nope!”
“I see. That does give new meaning to the expression ‘stick a fork in him’ then, doesn’t it?”
“Gio, no, not you, too. Way to go, Narancia, you just had to go and break Giorno, too.”
“Fork…”
“God damn it.”