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You put on your shoes, grabbed your keys, your small thermos, and left your apartment. You went down three flights of stairs, reached the lobby, and left the building.
The cold wind greets you on the street, it was autumn so at night the temperature drops. You headed to the small store a few blocks away from your apartment to buy some peyoung yakisoba. At the store, you grabbed a packet, bought a beer (you have a fake ID), and then made your way to the park you frequented with your boyfriend. Actually, ex-boyfriend.
On an empty bench, you sat down, poured the hot water into the pot of food, and waited for them to be ready. With your hand and the wooden edge of your seat you opened the beer and took a long drink.
After waiting the necessary minutes, you grabbed the pot of peyoung yakisoba and tried to eat them. The keyword is tried because you couldn't, the noodles, the park, the beer, everything reminded you of him.
A lone tear slid down your left cheek, with the sleeves of your sweater you wiped it away, then another fell down your right cheek, and then another and another until your little tears became tears.
You didn't understand why Baji broke up with you. He just came to you one day and said, "Let's break up". He didn't give you any explanation other than "Now I can't waste my time with you". Asshole, useless, he didn't have enough guts to tell you the reason to end the relationship.
You had noticed those weeks before he was behaving differently. He was tense most of the time, he was getting into fights more often and also getting hurt more. You asked what was going on, but all you got as an answer was nothing is wrong with me, you're overreacting. Exaggerating the balls I don't have.
Did he find another girl he liked better? Did he want to get rid of you to be with her? Or was it him?
Or maybe he just wanted to be alone. Maybe he just wanted to devote himself to Toman with his friends and live a crazy life until he finished school.
All possible reasons wandered through your head this past week after the breakup. You wanted to come to a conclusion to turn the page, but you knew you weren't ready to let go yet. Actually, you don't want to. How do you let go of the most important person in your life? How do you let go of the man who made you shine when you needed him the most? How do you let go of the black-haired boy you love so much that right now you feel your heart tearing apart?
Last week you hated him. You avoided running into him at the apartment complex where you lived. You got up earlier than usual so you wouldn't cross him on your way to school. The first day you opened the door to your home and didn't find him standing there waiting to walk with you, your heart sank. But you were getting over it, little by little.
Today morning you still hated him, but when you happened to run into Takemichi and Chifuyu in the park, your hatred changed to concern. You eavesdropped on the blondes' conversation. Baji left Toman, joined an enemy gang, declared himself an enemy of all his friends, and beat up Chifuyu.
The latter surprised you greatly, Chifuyu is a very special person in Baji's life. He was his faithful companion in everything, he competes against you when it comes to loyalty to Keisuke. You saw how the blond's face was badly beaten, a bandage completely covered his right eye.
Seeing him like that made you want to cry, something is wrong with Baji, he would never treat his friends like that. He always talks to you about them as if they were his treasure, he loves them, so you know something is wrong with him.
That's why you left your building, where you both lived only on different floors. If you stayed home somehow you would end up banging on your door demanding explanations.
With the sleeves of your coat, you wiped your tears and grabbed the bottle of beer to continue drinking. You could feel your eyes puffy and your cheeks sticky, your nose running a little from crying. The truth is that crying in the park alone at night wouldn't solve the problem, you just want to feel a little miserable before you go back to the routine and pretend nothing is wrong.
You lifted your legs up to the bench and rested your arms on your knees, still holding the bottle.
Maybe you could talk to Chifuyu tomorrow, you doubted he would give you many answers, after all, Baji and Chifuyu always kept you in line when it came to Toman matters.
You heard footsteps approaching and then felt a person stand near where you were sitting.
"I thought you only drank on weekends" You hadn't heard that grave voice for a week.
You raised your head to look at him. There he was, as splendid as ever. His long flowing hair framed his face, the light breeze swaying his black locks.
He was almost as usual, almost because he wasn't wearing his usual black jacket with gold kanji. Instead, he wore a white jacket with a red ribbon hanging from his arm.
It hurt to see him in that. It suited him but it just wasn't for him. Those weren't the colors he belonged in.
You just shrugged and drank again without taking your eyes off him.
"I thought you only wore black Toman jackets, I guess we never quite met."
He took a few more steps until he reached the bench and leaned his hip on it.
"People change." His comment made you want to laugh in his face, in a sarcastic way.
"Apparently you changed a lot these past few weeks Keis-" you stopped and corrected yourself "Baji" You just stare at the bottle in your hand, you didn't want uncomfortable looks between you. "Why you got in a fight with your friends?"
No one spoke for a few minutes, only the sound of cars on the avenue and the rustle of fallen leaves rustling in the wind could be heard.
"I didn't fight with them, not with everyone" he paused for a few seconds "There's just something I need to do and I need to do it alone."
"Since when do you do things alone without them supporting you?" You looked at him confused. They never fought alone, Toman always had each other's backs. Baji always talked to you about how with the Toman he felt like he was in a giant squad of musketeers, he loved the phrase one for all and all for one.
And despite not being part of the gang, you were always there for him and his friends.
"I have to do this alone, I can't let the people I love get hurt anymore" You felt his gaze drilled into the side of your head, you looked at him. His gaze radiated sadness, worry, longing a whole mix of emotions.
You just nodded. What else were you going to say? Why did you leave me? You didn't want to argue or cry again, you're pretty sure I already notice your swollen eyes.
"It's too late now, your mother will worry."
You nodded "Yes, I was just leaving" You got up with the bottle, your thermos, and the uneaten packet of food. You threw everything except the thermos away and started walking in the direction of the building.
With big steps, he caught up with you and you walked together. It wasn't a long walk, in five minutes you would arrive. You squeezed your hand holding the thermos, an urge to grab his hand and hug him by his arm consumed you. You took a deep breath and tried to push the thought out of your head, you were no longer allowed to do that.
You reached the building and walked up the stairs together. With each step, the lump in your throat grew bigger, despite not speaking you still don't want to part from him. You miss him very much.
When they reached your floor, you looked up at him.
"Thank you for joining me Baji."
You didn't notice it, but every time you call him Baji instead of Keisuke, his countenance becomes sad and his heart sinks.
Keisuke was using all the self-control he had not to kiss you right there, not to apologize for pushing you away from him. He just wanted to sit with you on the rooftop of the building eating peyoung yakisoba, talking about his days, and looking for cute kitten pictures on the internet.
Baji bit the inside of his cheek to keep from doing anything, his plan was already in motion, and tomorrow on Halloween, if luck was on his side, he would conclude it. Just a little while longer.
You noticed how Baji's eyes rested on your neck. You knew he was looking at the necklace he gave you for your six-month relationship. It was a simple chain with two charms, a K for Keisuke, and your initial.
"When you're done doing whatever it is you're doing, will you go back to Toman?" Will you go back to my Keisuke?
"Most likely yes" he let out a chuckle "If they take me back" You looked him in the eyes for a few seconds, none of them averted the intense gaze they were sending each other.
You passed him your thermos to grab, confused he took it. With your two hands, you unfastened the clasp of your necklace.
From one end you removed the pendant with your initial and put it in the pocket of your jogger.
After the very small conversation you had in the park you deduced that he is doing something dangerous and doesn't want to get involved. Were you afraid for him? Yes. But you of all people knew that Keisuke is capable of taking care of himself.
A small seed of hope of getting back together was planted in your head and you weren't going to let it go.
With your hand, you held out the necklace with the K on it. "Give it to me when you finish your unfinished business" Give it to me when we can get back together.
He took the necklace from your palm, his fingers brushed your skin. You felt as if an electric current spread throughout your body, you missed her warm touch.
"I'll do it" You kept the necklace in your jacket. You hated that white color on him.
You reached your hand out to grab your thermos, but Baji grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him to hug you
You hugged him tightly, his signature citrus smell reaching your nose. He loved shampoos with that scent. Baji squeezes you tightly to his chest, you felt him smell the side of your head near your neck.
A few minutes later they pulled apart. With his hands still on your shoulders, he says goodbye to you.
"Goodbye Y/n" he placed the thermos in your hands and kissed your cheek before turning his back to you and walking up the stairs he was missing.
"Bye Baji" you whispered. You turned around and took your keys out of your pocket.
When you got to your room you threw yourself on your bed thinking about Baji.
You just hope it won't take long for him to come back to you.