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"Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross suggests that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance." (Newman L. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross . BMJ. 2004;329(7466):627.)
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When we lose someone we love, we must learn not to live without them; but to live with the love they left behind. -Anonymous
***
Denial.
***
Deep within the Forest of Darkness, in the underground Super Rock Villa, the grandfather clock struck 3. The afternoon was tranquil--uncharacteristically quiet for a house with plenty of residents.
A month and a half had passed since the death of a young, black dragon--a treasured companion.
An old butler climbed up the staircase, his footsteps muffled by the carpet. Balanced on his gloved right hand was a tray with two cups of chocolate sherbet on it.
The butler with the graying hair stopped in front of the only room on the 5th floor of the villa.
Knock, Knock, Knock.
With his free hand, he knocked thrice on the door and announced, "Children, I shall now enter."
The butler reached for the knob, turned it, and pushed the door open. What greeted him was an extremely spacious room, two kittens curled up on the luxurious bed beside a red-haired man who seemed to have just woken up.
"Young master Cale, you're finally awake," Ron Molan, the old butler, commented as he approached the three people on the bed. "It's already 3 in the afternoon. I shall call for Beacrox to send you your meal."
"...I see." Cale ruffled his messy hair, trying to keep himself awake.
His gaze then headed toward the two sherbets Ron is handing towards the two kittens, On and Hong.
Cale's brows knitted together as he asked in confusion, "Why are there only two? It should be three..."
Ron, On, and Hong, all flinched and turned towards him. Cale, who received their complicated looks, trailed off and realized his mistake.
"Haaa..." he sighed and rubbed his face with both hands. "...I forgot...Raon..."
He didn't dare continue.
"Just deliver me my meal. I'm starving."
"As you wish, young master-nim." Ron did an about-face and left with the stealth of an assassin that never fails to scare Cale.
Before the door fully shut, Ron peeked at the red-haired young master--who was watching the two kittens try to eat the sherbets.
The assassin-butler descended the stairs. Even as he got farther away from Cale's room, Ron's mind seemed to have lingered there.
Cale's hoarse voice asking in confusion about the number of sherbets Ron brought for the kids, the way his stoic expression registered his own words, the way his voice trailed off as he mentioned Raon.
All of those sights lingered inside Ron's mind, etching itself into his memory--letting him feel pity and sorrow for the young master he had raised.
Cale Henituse: the person who can remember 1000 years' worth of record in the Mercenaries' Guild Directory. With just a glance, he can memorize information with 100% accuracy.
That same puppy-like young master seems to be experiencing selective memory loss these days, especially when it involves Raon's presence.
Ron could recall the moments Cale would ask about where Raon is, why the snacks for the children were only for two and not for three, or subconsciously call Raon as he rocked on his chair.
"Raon, can you cast a temperature management magic on me?"
"Hmm? Why is Raon not with you?"
"This amount of snacks is not enough for three kids."
"On, Hong, call Raon. It's bedtime."
Ron could vividly remember the realization that would dawn on Cale's face after those statements and how his voice would turn smaller by the second. The way his eyes averted to the ground, a sigh escaping his lips, and his hands frustratingly combing his hair.
"Nevermind," he would mumble and turn away.
"Father," Beacrox Molan's, Ron's son, cut through Ron's thoughts--making him realize that he's finally entered the kitchen. "Is anything wrong?"
Ron didn't reply, and Beacrox understood what it was that was weighing his father's thoughts right now.
"Did he...asked for Raon again?"
"He was wondering why there were only two sherbets," was all Ron said before giving Beacrox the order to prepare Cale's meals.
***
Dinner time arrived. Choi Han, Rosalyn, Eruhaben, Hannah, Jack, Cale, and the other residents of the Super Rock villa gathered around a huge, round table.
The occasional chatterings and clanking of utensils hang around the air, creating a light atmosphere despite the sadness buried deep within their hearts. The smell of delicious supper drifted into their noses, relieving a bit of the tension in their bodies.
"Meow."
Two kittens, On and Hong, arrived at the dining room a little late than the others. Their small, agile bodies approached the empty seats on either side of Cale.
"On, Hong!" Rosalyn cheerfully called out. "The pies are delicious!"
"Meow!" Their enthusiastic meows served as the response to Rosalyn's invite.
Out of nowhere, Cale commented without looking up from his plate, "Raon would love this. On, Hong, where is he?"
The bustling halted, silence enveloping every person in the room. All of them froze and stared at Cale, sorrow evident in their shaking irises.
Cale raised his head and met their gazes. It took him 10 seconds to register what he just said. As realization dawned on his face, he let his head fall onto his hands--his eyes shut tightly.
Ron watched in sorrow as the young master, whom he raised since early childhood, agonize over something Cale never wanted.
Cale hated the fact that he always forgot; it was as if he was denying any of that ever happened. His subconsciousness refuses to acknowledge this reality, so it opted to forget.
No, that's not it. It's not that he's denying it; it's just that his system couldn't properly process the death of their youngest companion--their great, and mighty little dragon.
Cale can remember anything he likes but tends to experience memory loss over something he hates.
"...I'm sorry..." Cale's tiny voice sounded so loud inside the quiet dining room.
**
Being "in denial" doesn't mean that you aren't aware of the reality of the situation. It means that your psyche shuts down because you simply cannot fathom the enormity of the loss and aren't ready to deal with it.
-On Grief and Grieving by Kübler-Ross
===
When there is anger, there is always pain underneath. -Ekhart Tolle
***
Anger.
***
A new day has arrived for the residents of the Super Rock Villa. The plaza in front was bright even though the sunlight couldn't reach this underground shelter--a shelter for the broken souls who found their homes in each other.
A black-haired man was violently swinging his sword in that well-lit area. Sweat trickled down the sides of his face, his damp fringes clinging to his forehead, eyes like a ferocious predator ready to devour any prey it will encounter.
With every swing of his blade, it left a trail of anger. Every vicious swing of his weapon was directed towards death's cruelty and his inability to save someone again.
Choi Han, the black swordsman, was infuriated--madly frustrated--at the fact that he didn't manage to fulfill his promise to protect--to save--his loved one.
He was a failure. He hated death, hated the White Star, but right now, he felt more hatred towards himself.
He was strong; Choi Han knew that. However, it didn't matter to Choi Han, not when his strength was useless against death's claws heading for the young creature who only wished to salvage the life of their precious human.
Wild, black aura began wrapping Choi Han's sword; his eyes gleaming with fury and regret, pain and frustration entwined like snakes in those deep irises.
The aura roared a beast's roar; it embraced Choi Han's figure, devoured his form. Its feral fangs bared itself against air--against the loss they experienced.
The tumultuous emotions within him whirled even more intensely with every passing second.
His scarred hands gripped his sword's handle tightly to the point that they lost color.
The vision of Raon falling, Cale's weak arms catching the young dragon, the desperation in his companions' eyes, the sorrow, the small coffin being lowered 6-feet below the ground; all of it kept replaying itself before Choi Han, aggravating the anger welling inside his scarred body.
It was affecting his sanity. He felt angrier--more hopeless--than he ever did while alone in the Forest of Darkness.
He wanted to slash everything down; he wants to destroy something--release some tension and calm himself down. Choi Han wanted to raid the god of Death's domain and bring him death. However, his rationality prevented him from moving even an inch, afraid that he'll end up destroying their house instead.
He needed to hold it in, or he might end up ruining something and regret it. He had too many regrets already.
As minutes passed with Choi Han standing there, clenching his sword with every bit of strength he has, he finally managed to calm his ferociously wilding aura and withdrew the destructive force from his blade.
Choi Han and his companions were already swallowed by the grief of loss, he couldn't allow himself to be swallowed by his anger.
As he began slashing his aura-less blade against air once more--still leaving traces of anger in them, Choi Han hoped that one day--someday--they'll be able to heal the wounds.
***
Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal.
-On Grief and Grieving by Kübler-Ross
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What I wouldn't give to hold you one last time. I would never let you go again. - Sarah Millen
***
Bargaining.
***
What if he had reached Cale and Raon faster than he did?
That was the question in Eruhaben's mind, sprinting around in circles every day like a runner with unlimited stamina. It forbid him from experiencing any peaceful slumber, only sleepless contemplations remaining in the dead of night.
If he hadn't been so weak at that time, would he have saved not just Cale but also Raon?
Eruhaben watched the moonless night sky as he stood outside the gates of Raon's black castle--which now had felt so desolate without Raon and his mother, lord Sheritt, who had glitched and disappeared at the same time Raon's breathing stopped.
A few more months had passed, and it's already the end of fall. The night gale winded past the trees--rustled their late-autumn twigs, sweeping the falling leaves. It generated a howl louder than the moanings and groanings of the monsters residing in the Forest of Darkness--created a crunch much louder than breaking bones.
As the night hummed its eerie song, guilt and regret ate up Eruhaben's insides--leaving an unpleasant taste in his mouth, a headache that resembled a clobbering hammer.
Would Raon have been alive even now?
He continued to ponder the 'what-if' scenarios that could have changed the result of their battle--the actions that would have led to an endgame much different than what they had now.
Those deliberations lingered like fog on a drizzle inside Eruhaben's brain, refusing to disappear, blurring his vision more and more.
If there ever was a way to bring someone back to life, Eruhaben would never hesitate to choose that path and bring back Raon.
Even if it entails giving up his few remaining years, he'd do it. He definitely will.
He has lived up to a thousand years, and Raon only to six. Compared to Eruhaben who experienced almost everything there is to experience in this world, Raon's still too young.
Death devoured Raon too early.
***
Excommunicated priestess, Cage, shifted her bottom on the couch as she sat down across Cale. Her dark eyes trained on the red-haired young man who exuded a ruler's presence and with eyes that witnessed countless wars.
Cale casually sipped the tea Ron had laid on the table, only for his nose to scrunch up in distaste at the bitter lemon tea.
"Young master Cale..." Cage cautiously called out to him.
The afternoon sunlight pierced through the glass window in Cale's room, bathing Cale and the person behind him with its pale hue. Behind the former commander was the ancient dragon, Eruhaben-nim, standing firm and majestic--his eyes portraying an unidentifiable resolve in them.
Cage threw a fleeting glance at the elder dragon before returning to the young master. Even without saying anything, Cage already knew what is it that these two individuals want.
The night before, the god of Death had talked to Cage in her dreams, telling her of an imminent request and the god of Death's reply to that wish.
"Miss Cage," Cale drawled out, placing his teacup down with a small click. "Is there any way to resurrect someone?"
Cage knew this was coming--she was warned--yet she couldn't stop the tightening of her chest as she thought of the god of Death's reply.
Trying to hide her trembling fingers, she pulled out a rolled parchment from her sleeve. It was black--dark yet beautiful, spotlessly clean.
Cale eyed the object that's, obviously, an item from the god of Death. He watched Cage pass the parchment towards him.
"It's a medium to talk to the god of Death," Cage explained as the parchment left her. "He managed to find a method to talk to you without involving sleep--which resembles death."
The black parchment was rough in contrast to its smooth appearance.
Cale unrolled the paper and held it with his right hand.
"Hmm?" Eruhaben hummed in confusion as he watched white, indecipherable symbols began appearing on the surface of the rough paper as if an invisible hand was writing them.
"I forgot to add." Cage scratched her nape in embarrassment and explained, "Only young master Cale can decipher the contents; however, he can share them with others."
Eruhaben's brows furrowed, but he said nothing as he observed the incomprehensible symbols. Meanwhile, Cale focused his attention on the characters only he could understand.
____________________________________________________________________
Cale Henituse.
I cannot grant your request.
Resurrection is something that goes against nature and does not suit my powers.
____________________________________________________________________
Cale clenched his jaw as he read the god of Death's words.
Resurrection. Cale hadn't thought of it even as he struggled without Raon's presence because he knows that once a life disappears, it's already gone. Even in this world filled with forces that can bend the rules of nature cannot revive a dead person.
Yes, necromancers do exist. They can revive the dead, but that being would be just an empty shell--a zombie. That is not something Cale wants or will ever want.
That's why Cale never thought of it--not until Eruhaben showed up in his bedroom door and told Cale about his desire to make a deal with the divine beings to bring back Raon.
Cale could never forget the bloodshot eyes of the ancient dragon while sharing his sentiments about reviving Raon.
He didn't know why he agreed to Eruhaben's suggestion and called Cage here--or maybe he does know: deep inside, he too wants to bring back that young, black dragon.
Cale decided to share the message with the same ancient dragon--who rushed to this villa with desperation--standing behind him.
"The god of Death cannot grant the request for resurrection."
Eruhaben's shoulders seem to slump as he heard what Cale said.
"Is there any other way?" Eruhaben questioned, his voice heavy and lifeless.
____________________________________________________________________
Transmigration or reincarnation won't work.
That kid is a dragon. Dragons return to nature once they die after they live out their entire lifespan; however, it's a different case for Raon Miru.
That dragon died an unnatural death and was unable to live out his entire lifespan.
____________________________________________________________________
"So there's no other way?"
Cale's words made Eruhaben stiffen. His nails dug onto the flesh of his palm as he clenched his hands into fists.
Cale watched in silence as the previous symbols were replaced with new ones in response to his question.
___________________________________________________________________
There's still one hope.
____________________________________________________________________
Cale shifted in his seat, more focused, as he read the next word aloud, "Rebirth."
An almost inaudible gasp escaped Eruhaben's lips while Cage flinched and her eyes widened.
____________________________________________________________________
Dragons who die an unnatural death are given second chances to live and die a peaceful death.
But it'll take at least a thousand years to happen.
____________________________________________________________________
Cale waited for more, but there was nothing else--the parchment had begun turning into ashes.
The three individuals watched it disintegrate into cinders and disappear.
"A second chance..." Cale muttered, eyes trained on the spot the last ash disappeared. "But it'll take at least 1000 years for it to be fulfilled...haaa."
Cale threw his head back, resting them on the headrest of the couch he was on. His eyes stayed on the ornate ceilings, and through his peripheral vision, he could make out Eruhaben's golden figure shifting.
"The motherf*cking god of Death," Cale angrily cussed. "I'm already dead once that second chance happens!"
Relief and pain intermingled within Eruhaben and Cale. Relief because Raon will be able to live again; pain because of the undeniable truth that they won't be there to witness Raon's new life.
***
The bargaining stage of grief serves an important purpose. It provides temporary escape from one's pain and provide hope. This gives a person time to adjust to the reality of the situation.
-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
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People talk about grief as emptiness, but it's not empty. It's full. Heavy. Not an absence to fill. A weight to pull. Your skin caught on hooks chained to rough boulders made of all the futures you thought you'd have. -Elan Mastai
***
Depression.
***
The winter air yowled even underground, rattling the windows with their chilly presence. Their cries, cold and sharp, echoed around the grand villa where the heroes of the Roan Kingdom currently reside.
The dancing fire in the hearth glowed and brought warmth to the beings inside, saving them from the cruelty of the frost.
In one of the rooms, by the fireplace on a couch, two kittens huddled together while being wrapped around a warm blanket. Old butler, Ron, placed two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table before the two kittens.
"You can warm yourself up with these." Ron was genuinely gentle as he said those words and watched On and Hong who were huddled together while a cloud of sorrow hovered above them.
As the seasons changed, and they got further and further away from the fateful day when Raon left, the two Cat tribe siblings became even more gloomy.
Their furs, although healthy, seemed lifeless; the light in their eyes dimmed by the shadows of grief and longing. Their meows were less enthusiastic--weaker--and their tails drooping like a wilted flower.
Once upon a time, they'll eagerly eat the delicious deserts laid before them; but now, those same snacks end up barely touched--the left-over more plenty than the consumed amount of food.
Ron patted their heads and whispered reassuring words before leaving.
The two kittens were silent for a few seconds before On decided to break the ice.
"Hong...I miss Raon..."
Sniffle. "I miss him too, Noona." Hong's voice cracked and he felt his tears well up. "Why did he have to leave so soon? He's younger than us--he's the youngest among us--yet he..he..."
He failed to continue his sentence as he felt his tears pour and wet his fur, and his breath hitched.
Sob. Sob.
"Hong..." On softly called, reaching for her younger brother's head with her paws as she tried to keep her emotions at bay.
"Why is life...so cruel to him?" Hong gasped in between sobs and hiccups. "He's so young! And...and he...he only experienced real life for two years! Inside the cave..where he was...he was alone for four years!"
On felt something stuck on her esophagus, hurting her throat--just like how seeing his younger brother crying clenched her young heart.
"It's so unfair!" Hiccup.
"I know." On was now crying too.
The two siblings cried and cried, forgetting how much time passed as their tears continued to flow like waterfalls and their sobs muffled by the warm blanket.
They wept so much and didn't notice the red-haired Cale frantically approaching them, face stoic yet eyes flooded with concern.
"On, Hong..." his tender voice said.
The two kittens, silver and red, whipped their heads towards him. They wanted to call out his name but only a sob escaped their lips.
Cale knelt on the rug--before the two grieving kittens--and carefully cradled them in his arms--the same arms that cradled Raon's lifeless body.
He brushed their furs without saying a single word, not even a hush or an ' it's okay' . He let them cry, let their emotions surge. He didn't stop them from crying, he let them spill those heavy tears out, let them bawl their eyes out.
He wanted them to lighten their burdens.
Cale held On and Hong in his arms, sending his warmth to them. Wanting to let them know that he's here, they're not alone in this journey--in this grieving.
He understood them. He very much understood them.
Their cries echoed throughout the entire villa, louder than the cries of winter, reaching everyone's ears.
He cursed all the beings who made them experienced this. He hoped that the day would come when they'll finally learn the art of letting go without forgetting anything about Raon.
As for now, they let themselves be swallowed by the pain and the despair, knowing that one day, they'll be able to stand back up again.
***
Allow the sadness and emptiness to cleanse you and help you explore your loss in its entirety. When you allow yourself to experience depression, it will leave as soon as it has served its purpose in your loss.
-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
===
The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited, or erased; it can only be accepted. -Wiz Khalifa
***
Acceptance.
***
Trees danced along with the summer breeze as the sun blazed its golden glow above. Insects hummed their melodies, the frogs croaked their songs, and the birds serenaded their choruses.
Summer had arrived and was evident even in the Forest of Darkness. Even the monsters within seemed to be at peace and were contentedly bathing in the warmth the season brought.
In between two rock pillars, a band of individuals emerged and began walking towards the direction of the black castle that majestically stood within the Forest of Darkness.
The occasional giggles combined with the chitter-chatters were mellow. It was a euphonious melody that surfaced after a devastating storm--sweet, yet it still held the tinge of bitterness brought by the tempest.
"It's been a while since we visited Raon's house together," On delicately commented as the black castle appeared into view.
Hong nodded before mumbling in a tiny voice, "It's been a year."
A year had passed ever since that dreadful they when they witnessed their beloved dragon leave them. To celebrate his first death anniversary, they decided to stop by Raon's black castle first and then visit his grave.
As they neared the edifice, the gates opened and a golden-haired elf greeted them with the usual air of elegance.
"Took you quite a while," Eruhaben, the elf-looking ancient dragon remarked towards the group--with the young-haired man at the center of the bunch.
"Beacrox threw a fuss," the black-haired swordmaster, Choi Han, nonchalantly stated.
"I did not," the young chef, Beacrox, growled at him.
"Stop it," his father, Ron Molan, reprimanded the two of them before benignly smiling at his young master. "Shall we go, young master Cale?"
"Ah~ shall we hurry up dongsaeng?" Alberu Crossman added and patted Cale's shoulder.
Cale Henituse, the man at the center, nodded his approval without saying anything and the band of companions entered the black castle.
***
Raon Miru
Herein lies a great and mighty being.
xxx-xxx
Cale read the words engraved on the marble gravestone as he and the others watered the flowers they had planted around Raon's grave. Pink and white petaled blooms wafted the air with their sweet scent and blessed their visions with their alluring beauties.
The summer breeze danced with the blossoming summer flowers while nature's music served as their orchestra.
Tired from all the standing up, Cale plopped down onto the lush green carpet of grass, facing the grave covered in one of nature's finest treasures.
As seconds ticked by, Cale felt his eyelids getting heavier, and the next thing he knew, he drifted off to slumber under the shade of a large tree, with nature's lullaby.
***
Something soft tickled Cale's cheeks and caused his eyes to open. The sight that greeted him cause him surprise and confusion: a colossal tree with a gray trunk and pink flowers that reminded him of the cherry blossoms back on Earth. Around him, floral petals swayed and fluttered. Yet other than the tree and the flowers, everything else was white. Spotless. Like a hospital room.
Cale looked up at the top of the tree, his eyes squinting at the blinding white horizon beyond.
A sound to his left caught his attention and made him turn towards the source, only for his eyes to widen and his pupils to shake.
In the midst of the flurrying petals, a black creature floated before him. Dark blue eyes that were all too familiar, chubby paws that Cale once held, wings flapping vigorously as he approached the red-haired human, and a wide grin plastered on his cute face as he called out to that same human.
"HUMAN!"
Raon Miru was in front of Cale, talking and smiling as a child should.
"Human! Why are you staring at me like that? Oh, I know why! I surprised you, didn't I?" Raon rattled on as he circled Cale. "Hmm? Human! Why are you so thin! Aigoo! This great and mighty being says you need to eat a lot!"
Cale didn't reply for a few seconds--his mind seemed to have short-circuited during that short amount of time.
Finally, he managed to say, "Raon Miru."
"Hmm" Yes, yes! It's me! The great and mighty Raon Miru!"
Pale hands reached for Raon and landed on top of his round head.
"How are you?" Cale asked.
"I'm fine!" was the immediate response. Cale observed Raon as his tail slowly drooped. "...But I miss you guys."
Cale caressed his head and waited for anything else Raon wants to say.
"...I'm glad that you survived. I'm glad that I saved you; I actually feel proud that I did," Raon shared. "You saved my life countless times already, shouldn't I do the same? Still, I miss you...I want to be with all of you. But...I can't...cuz I'm dead."
Cale pulled Raon for an embrace as soon as he noticed that the young dragon was about to cry. Raon buried his face on Cale's chest and gripped his shirt.
"I...I'm not great and mighty! I didn't survive! I want to be with you...I want to play with the other kids. I want to train with Goldie Gramps! I want to learn with smart Rosalyn and strong Choi Han! I want to eat Beacrox's foods! I want...I want to come back..."
Sob.
"I want to be with all of you..."
Cale remained silent and listened to the child's wails--desire to live with his family, to be with his loved ones.
"I do not regret protecting you..." Raon sniffled. "I miss you..."
They didn't know how long they stayed like that: Cale wrapping his arms around Raon's figure while Raon bathed in his weak human's warmth--something he truly missed.
"I want to grow old by your side! I want to be by your side when you grow old, too!" Raon continued in between sobs. "But I can't! The god of Death told me I won't resurrect, but I'll be reborn in a different timeline! I smacked the god of Death to at least let me talk to you!"
Cale found himself smiling at Raon's remark and continued to listen.
"I want to be with you! I don't want to stay there and help the god of Death with his mountain of paperwork!"
It went on for hours. Cale listened to Raon's tantrums, caressing his head to soothe him, and shared his warmth to the young dragon.
While he did so, Cale realized one thing that caused his stomach to do an unpleasant backflip.
He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, indicating he's alive, but he couldn't sense Raon's. He couldn't sense a beating heart. Nothing. It made him acknowledge even more that Raon's dead.
"Raon Miru..." he called. "We miss you. All of us miss you. Just like you, we want you back; but there are things in this world we cannot get. I'm sorry you have to experience this...I'm sorry."
He pressed his lips on the cold, reptilian forehead.
"Raon Miru...there's one thing I wish for you..." He pulled back and stared straight at the depths of Raon's dark blue irises. "Be happy."
I wish for you to find joy.
I wish that you may find peace.
Raon Miru stared back at the reddish-brown irises that always looked at him with affection.
"Weak human...I want to be happy with you and our family."
Suddenly, a whirlwind of flower petals surrounded Raon and separated him from Cale. Cale tried to grab him but to no avail.
Surrounded by the billowing floral beauty, Raon smiled at Cale his biggest smile, and yelled, "I'll miss you always! Tell them I miss them too! I'll always stay in your hearts, just like how you'll always stay in mine!"
Cale smiled back--not his usual scammer smile, but his genuine grin of affection.
"Please smack the god of Death for me."
Raon eagerly nodded and let out a giggle.
As Cale watched Raon disappear within the mass of petals, he softly added, "And goodbye, Raon Miru."
***
Cale jolted up, fully awake out of the dream he just had.
He found himself sprawled on the grass before Raon's grave, surrounded by his companions who tried to wake him up.
The midday sun peeked through the gaps in the tree leaves and touched Cale's pale face.
"Young master Cale, you're finally awake," Ron sighed and watched his young master stare off into space as soon as Cale woke up. "We've been trying to wake you up for a while but you won't-"
Ron stopped, taken aback by the sight before him. The others were frozen too.
Drip. Drip.
Cale Henituse...he was crying.
Tears flowed down his eyes and drenched his cheeks. A small smile gracing his thin lips.
"Young master Cale..."
"Dongsaeng?"
"Cale-nim..."
"Meow!"
They called out to him, baffled at the sight and utterly sorrowful at the knowledge of why he's crying.
Cale didn't bother wiping the waterworks running down his cheeks, and instead turned to them.
"He's fine..." he said. "He's doing fine. He misses you, but he assures me he's fine."
He once again gazed as he dissolved in tears at the tombstone where Raon's name was engraved.
"Raon Miru is a great and mighty being."
***
Acceptance is not about liking the situation. It is about acknowledging all that has been lost and learning to live with that loss.
-On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross