Work Text:
Sebastian Debeste is afraid of fire. He hates it.
After Blaise is arrested, it takes him a long time to relearn what fire means, and it starts with something as simple as a fireplace.
Well, two fireplaces, to be exact. Both Justine and Edgeworth had one in their houses, and he started visiting both of them often. Blaise used to have one too, and Sebastian had never liked it; he was extremely careful to avoid them, and they both noticed immediately.
On one particularly cold autumn night, Edgeworth tried to drive Sebastian home from a crime scene, but the road was too icy, and they had to stop at Edgeworth's house instead. After some convincing, several thank-yous, and a call to Kay, his roommate, Sebastian agreed to stay the night.
The setup worked, at first. Miles pulled out blankets, started up his fireplace, and they went over their newest case. Much to Sebastian's relief, the fire worked more as a decoration than anything, sitting at the opposite side of the room.
Before the power went out, that is.
Edgeworth had a portable heater, but it wasn't quite enough for two people. He pulled out a few candles and flashlights, and they both huddled by the fireplace, various case files scattered around the floor in front of them. Sebastian was very noticeably uncomfortable, not paying much attention to what Edgeworth was saying anymore.
After a while, the flames in the fireplace started to die out, and he must've realized they weren't getting anywhere, with Sebastian continuing to space out like this. He glanced up from a piece of evidence.
"Are you alright, Sebastian?"
He looked up, suddenly surprised by the lack of light. He’d gotten so focused on the case, he had barely noticed. “Oh, the fire went out!”
Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. “Well, yes. I must get around to cleaning it sometime; it doesn’t stay lit for very long anymore. Actually, I was just about to relight it.” Sebastian frowned. That’s not what he wanted to hear. “But, that doesn’t answer my question. Are you okay?”
He pulled the blanket closer to himself, bending his baton. There was a long moment of silence, and as Sebastian thought, he looked almost… scared, to talk.
"...I, uh... I don't like fire," he mumbled, a quiet confession. "I… really, really don't like fire."
For a long moment, Edgeworth was quiet, seeming to think something over. Sebastian grew more nervous by the second. Is he mad…?
Before he could start overthinking it, Edgeworth started to speak again.
"...Sebastian. I think I can guess what... why you're afraid of fire, but just in case... my fireplace can't hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you. You do understand that, right?" Edgeworth gestured towards the embers. "It's protected; the fire can't get out, it can't burn you. It's simply here to keep us warm and comfortable, which is why I need to relight it." He tapped a finger against his leg in a steady rhythm. "…and I have no reason to want to harm you. Even if you weren't doing your best, or if you were in trouble, I still wouldn't wish pain on you. I would never wish pain on you, alright?"
Sebastian thought about that.
It seemed like Edgeworth perfectly understood why he was afraid.
He’s right. He’s not like Pops. He doesn’t want to hurt me.
There was another moment of silence. He took a deep breath.
"...O-Okay," Sebastian eventually mumbled again, still trying to convince himself. Blaise was in jail. Blaise was in jail, and Edgeworth was right; the fire couldn't hurt him. Edgeworth wouldn't hurt him. "...I think I understand."
Edgeworth nodded, getting up to relight the fireplace. Sebastian had started to notice that he worried a lot, even if he didn't like to admit it. All because of Sebastian. All because of how afraid he was of everything, all the time. Honestly, it felt kinda nice, being cared about like that, but… it still made him feel guilty. Edgeworth didn't deserve to worry so much. He didn’t need to have to baby Sebastian.
I need to do something.
“W-Wait,” Sebastian interrupted, suddenly determined. “I, uh… I want to do it.”
Edgeworth stopped in front of the fireplace, turning around. “...What?”
“I want to relight it." He already felt his hands shaking, ever so slightly. For a moment, he closed his eyes. Deep breaths. It’s gonna be alright. It can’t burn me.
Edgeworth blinked in surprise, pausing before he replied.
“...Alright. I can show you how.”
And he did just that. When the fire sparked up under Sebastian’s hands, he yelped, jumping backwards in alarm, in fear. He glanced down at his gloved hands, then back up at the fireplace, a look of faint amazement in his eyes. “Hey, I… I did it!" He sat up a bit straighter, a small smile on his face. “I… didn’t know how to do that." He hadn’t even realized until now that Blaise had never actually taught him how to use the fireplace. He’d always just been told to stay away. "...So, uh, thank you for teaching me, Mr. Edgeworth. And,” a short pause as he glanced back down at the case files, "Thank you for helping me investigate, too. I... I really appreciate everything you’ve shown me."
It was true. Before… everything, nobody seemed to want to properly teach him. They never wanted to go through the trouble of actually guiding him, impatient with how long it usually took him to catch on, but with everyone new in his life, he had already learned so many new things. Sebastian would’ve been lost if they weren’t here.
They really did care about him. It made him smile.
Miles smiled, too. "Thank you for allowing me to teach you. It’s been an honor, Sebastian.” He picked up a couple pieces of evidence and shuffled them in his hands. “...Now, where were we...?"
It had already been getting late, and they didn’t get that much more done, mostly due to Sebastian falling asleep. It seemed that he had been able to get comfortable around the fireplace after all; he softly snored, a small line of drool dripping onto his chin. The flames had already started to taper out again, embers barely casting a warm glow over his sleeping form, leaned forward over the disorganized files, baton hanging loosely out of one hand.
Edgeworth smiled again, paired with a small laugh. Little by little, Sebastian was growing, and Miles was so, so proud of him.
~÷~÷~÷~÷~÷~
Some time passed. The cold of that night started to fade into something a bit warmer as autumn continued.
One day, Sebastian came home to his shared apartment with Kay to see she had bought pumpkins. Halloween was soon, and apparently, she made jack-o’-lanterns every year; it was tradition for her.
He had actually never gotten to make a jack-o'-lantern. Blaise made them, a lot of them, but never let Sebastian get close. If he did, he always ended up with burns, and it wasn't always the pumpkins that inflicted them.
When he told her about his inexperience, she looked shocked, grabbing his arm and practically dragging him towards their kitchen. "Oh, we have to make them now, c'mon," she said, starting to excitedly walk him through the process.
The guts of the pumpkins were, unsurprisingly, gross, made even worse by the fact that he refused to take off his gloves, for several reasons. Kay made them pick through it for the seeds anyway. "Have you ever eaten roasted pumpkin seeds, Sebbie? Oh, they're delicious, especially during the fall. We have to make some."
"Okay," she said, a determined grin on her face as she examined the empty pumpkins. "Now, you have to make a design."
Sebastian responded with a blank stare.
"Uh, you know? Take a pen, and draw out the places you want to cut out? And then we can go back over them."
"O-Okay…" he frowned. "Uh, what do we draw?"
"It can be anything! Just make sure it won't cave in on itself." She took one of their designer pens and started hastily drawing, already seeming to have an idea.
Halloween, huh…? Hmm… He'd always liked bats. They were cute, and they'd be pretty easy to get on a pumpkin. After a moment of hesitation, Sebastian slipped the cap off his own pen, taking his time and planning every stroke.
It was calming, working side by side with Kay like this in comfortable silence, listening to her quietly humming an unfamiliar song. He could get used to doing things like this.
Soon enough, they cut out their designs; she insisted that they keep them secret until they were lit up, and they each got a small pumpkin carving knife. It was difficult, but he managed to get through it without cutting himself, mostly thanks to his newly-changed, clean gloves protecting him, and they both ended up with unlit jack-o’-lanterns.
"Alright!" Kay said, pleased. She passed a candle and a lighter to Sebastian. "Wanna do the honors?"
He didn't move, stopping dead at the sudden realization.
Ah. Of course. Lighting the jack-o'-lanterns meant he'd have to handle fire. He gulped.
Kay's hands hung awkwardly in the air. "R-Right," he said, taking the items. This would be simple! All he had to do was light a single candle. Just one! Just one.
He placed the candle in the pumpkin.
Just be quick. Don't think about it.
Gently holding the lighter, he pressed his thumb against the igniter. The flame came to life, and he instantly froze.
Whenever Blaise waved his lighter, it had always paralyzed him. It was terrifying. Pops always threatened Sebastian if he did something wrong, and sometimes, he followed through, and, well… Sebastian wore gloves for a reason. He was ashamed of his hands, scarred by everything he'd gotten something wrong, every time he made Pops mad.
Seeing himself holding a lighter, seeing what hurt him time and time again in his own gloved hands… It felt so horribly, sickeningly wrong. Sebastian wanted to puke.
He instantly took his thumb off of the button, practically throwing the lighter back onto the table.
"N-No," he stammered, taking a step back. "I-I can't. I'm sorry."
A moment of silence.
"...Oh," Kay started, suddenly looking really guilty. "Oh… my god. Sebastian, I didn't even consider…" She hesitated. "...I'm so sorry-"
"No. Stop, " Sebastian interrupted, suddenly snapping. No, this almost felt worse. He hated the pity in her voice, the guilt. Everyone always worried too much about him. Everyone always stammered whenever they brought up Blaise, as if it'd reopen a million wounds, and he hated it. They always treated him like a child.
Sebastian glared at the lighter. He wasn't a child. He wasn't an idiot. He had to prove that, again and again, until they stopped looking at him like he’d shatter at any moment.
"I'll do it," he snapped again, striding back to the pumpkin. He snatched the lighter back off of the table, dipping his hand into the pumpkin and lighting the candle before he had another thought. It almost brushed against his gloved hands, the warmth threatening to hurt him again, and-
Tossing the lighter back down before he could finish the thought, he took a deep breath, letting what he had just done sink in. Wow. I… actually did it.
Sebastian turned back towards Kay. She was staring, eyes wide, and he gave her a small thumbs up, hoping that he looked calmer than he felt.
“...You didn’t have… to…” she started, and he braced himself for more pity before she was, thankfully, distracted by the pumpkin, a small smile appearing on her face. “Is that… a bat?”
Glancing towards his own creation, he realized he hadn’t done very well. Its wings weren’t even close to symmetrical, and the entire thing looked uneven and misshaped. Far from the best, yet again.
“Uh…” he said, suddenly embarrassed. “I, um, didn't… It was my first time-"
"I like it!" Kay interrupted, grinning. "Looks like it could be a crow, too. I love crows! it's really good for your first jack-o'-lantern, Sebbie. I mean it."
He blinked. The sudden praise helped more than she knew. "O-Oh. Uh, thanks, Kay!"
"And nooow…" she spun her pumpkin around, a huge smirk splitting her face. "Mine!"
His eyes widened. It looked… familiar…?
"...My ahoge isn't that big," he teased, but he couldn't stop the smile that grew on his face.
"Oh, c'mon! It's called artistic exaggeration!" she said, and he couldn't stop a small laugh from bubbling out of his chest. It was astounding how quickly Kay could cheer him up.
He was really glad to be her friend.
Later that night, They set Sebastian's jack-o'-lantern (Bat? Crow? He didn't care much, honestly) and Kay's jack-o'-lantern (Lovingly named Sebastkin DeLantern) out on their small balcony. Sebastian and Kay sat outside for a while, eating roasted pumpkin seeds and pointing out all the stars in the sky, while the fire of the lanterns cast a warm glow over the scene, highlighting their comfortable forms and illuminating the night around them.
~÷~÷~÷~÷~÷~
"...A fireworks show?"
"Yeah!" Kay excitedly gestured towards the flier on the window of some restaurant they’ve never been to. "It sounds fun! I've always loved fireworks. My dad always took me to them when… uh.” She suddenly faltered, as if she hadn’t meant to say that. “...Yeah, uh. It’s been forever since I've seen one, so... we should go, Sebbie!"
He hesitated. Fireworks... Sebastian’s dad had always liked them, too. A little too much, really. Kay looked so excited, though…
“Uh,” he started, “I don't like… loud noises…”
It wasn't a lie, but he found himself really not wanting to talk about Pops. Not anymore.
"You can wear earplugs, if you want. That’s what I’m going to do. Trust me, I don't like loud noises either. C'mon, it'll be…" She paused. "...Fun? Nostalgic? I dunno. You get my point."
He stared at the pamphlet for a bit longer, briefly remembering all his bad memories with fire… but, he supposed, he had a couple good ones now too. That night at Mr. Edgeworth's house, making jack-o'-lanterns… Hmm.
Sebastian sighed.
"Oh, what the heck. Why not?" Pushing his gloved hands into the pockets of his hoodie, he turned back towards Kay. "I'll go too."
"Great!" she said, grinning. "Let's go!"
Soon after, they were sitting on the lawn of the Sunshine Coliseum, a blanket laid on the grass as the crowd bustled around them. Fireflies lit up the air, and some children chased after them, fruitlessly trying to catch the insects. It was already really loud, and they both put in earplugs, preparing for the show to start.
And start it did, with a bang, literally. The huge burst of flame in the air made Sebastian flinch back, instantly freezing up in fear. Oh, he didn't like this. He didn’t like it at all. Why had he agreed to do this? It reminded him of too much, there was too much fire-
"Sebbie?" Kay tapped a finger on his shoulder, and he glanced up, cautiously taking out an earplug, trying to stop his hands from shaking. She looked worried. "If it's too much, we can always leave. We don't have to do this."
He almost wanted to say yes, Kay, let's go, but something about it made him stop.
Even today, so long after he'd been arrested, Pops was still affecting him. Stopping him from spending time with the people who actually cared about him.
No. No, he wasn't going to allow it. He wasn't going to let his father control him anymore. He’d decided that the day Blaise went to jail.
"No," Sebastian said, glancing back up at the sky. He scooted a bit closer to Kay, and they sat shoulder against shoulder. "I want to stay."
For a second, she just stared, before finally glancing back up at the sky. "...Alright."
Another firework went off, red and blue sparks lighting up the sky, and he flinched again, but it wasn't as bad this time. As the show went on, he started to grow accustomed to the sight, even slowly starting to appreciate them. They were loud and bright and just about everything Sebastian hated, but… they were also kinda pretty. All of these different colors, jumping into the sky and doing everything they could to make themselves known before fizzling away in an instant.
Blaise had always liked fireworks, and in turn, Sebastian hated them. He lit them way too close to him, sometimes so close that they burned him, and Pops never seemed to care. He even gave his lighter to Sebastian and made him light the fuse, sometimes. He hated it. He thought he would never want to see another firework in his life.
But sitting here today, watching the light show, Sebastian realized that he had mostly managed to relax. The fireworks were nowhere near him. He didn't have to light any of them. They were just… something to admire. Something to amaze you, to make you smile. Like a fireplace, or a jack-o'-lantern, or a good friend that promises to never leave your side.
"Do you really think you can survive if I'm not around?" Blaise had said, sneering. A challenge that he thought Sebastian would never accept.
“I… I'll be fine now," Sebastian had replied. Honestly, he hadn't quite believed it yet. Not entirely.
But… it turns out, he had been right.
"Hey, Sebbie?" He took out an earplug again, glancing over. "You alright? What do you think?"
He looked up at the night sky. Another firework lit up the air, resembling a million little stars.
Sebastian had always been afraid of fire.
He smiled.
"They're beautiful."