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Phil landed on the soft snow and stretched his wings in relief, tired from flying halfway across the world to find a desert biome for cactuses. He wanted to dye a bed for Tubbo who had been asking for a room in their house. The murder of crows that usually followed Phil had led him in the wrong directions several times and he promised himself next time he would just use a map.
Mouth dry from the heat and feathers needing preening, he walked up the patio stairs and heard arguing. He deduced that someone had come to visit and hoped it wasn’t Dream trying to bother Techno again. He was definitely not in the mood to pull the two men apart from trying to claw each other's eyes out.
The handle on the door was loose which proved that it had been used recently. Ice usually seeped into it and made it more difficult to open, which Phil continually told himself he would fix yet he never got to it. The thought to hire Foolish to fix it flashed through his mind before he was tackled into the cold by a flash of pink.
Tired from the flight, his mind didn’t go to his usual fighting but instead, he laid back and opened his eyes to see his attacker. His eyes were met with a pair of gray ones that shone with excitement upon seeing him. A breath of relief left his mouth as he hugged the figure, which turned out to be Micheal, his grandson. Philza was surprised when one day his adopted son Tubbo had told him that he was married to Ranboo, the half enderman that worked with him. They later adopted Micheal in a way that reminded him much of the way he met Techno and took him under his wing metaphorically and physically.
“Hi, Phil!” Tubbo called out and lifted his son off of his dad with an apologetic smile. Laughing when Micheal hugged him and nuzzled into his neck with a snort. “We’re trying to train him to not jump on people but you know how kids are. Do you have any gold on you? that’s probably why he jumped”
Phil thought it sounded vaguely more like training a pet than raising a child but didn’t really question it as this was how he trained Techno as well. Piglins were usually very hard to train because they’re nimble and love getting in trouble, Techno even still got in trouble at the age of 21.
The man was a fighter and respected for it but to Phil, he would always be seen as his small mischievous son. People didn’t understand how Phil was so quick to punish Techno when he messed up but the truth was that he wasn’t scared of him, he wasn’t as scary as everyone made him out to be.
“It’s ok Tubbo, I’m glad you came out to see us! I actually just got some cacti for dye for your bed” Phil laughed, standing up and brushing the snow off of himself. He stepped inside and closed the door to be greeted with warmth and the smell of cookies. Ranboo was leaning in the doorway to the kitchen with a grin, his head almost touching the top and his clothes were dusted with white.
“Welcome home old man” a loud voice came from the kitchen and Tommy came out, ducking skillfully under Ranboo. “I haven’t seen you in a while!” he hugged Phil and he accepted gratefully, ruffling the young boy's hair playfully.
Tommy was one of his two biological children, the other one had passed a few months earlier and Tommy left home afterward with barely any words to either Techno or Phil. It was heartbreaking for the both of them but soon they started receiving letters from him about his life and why he left. It gave them closure and Tommy eventually started visiting again with Tubbo for support. The two had always been close, ever since Tubbo was adopted they were basically inseparable.
“Tommy! It’s good to see you man, are you doing good? How’s your new house?” Philza asked, his hand staying wrapped around Tommy as if he would leave again. He knew he wouldn’t but it was a thought that stayed stuck in his mind every time the boy visited.
“It’s so cool Phil you have to see it sometime” Tommy exclaimed. He was struggling to get out of the grip Phil had on him but his efforts were futile, the man had a steel grip. His face lit up with an idea and before Phil could react, Tommy spread his wings making his dad stumble back in surprise. “Oh also these grew in a few weeks ago, I totally forgot they would grow on me but genetics and shit”
“Tommy that’s amazing! I remember when Wil got his wings he wouldn’t stop flying around the yard” Phil said, his voice dropped from excited to full of bittersweet happiness. It hurt to think about Wilbur after his death but he had learned that it was easier and easier after talking about him with Techno. Techno was Wil’s best friend, they spent every second of every day together fighting or playing. As long as they were together they were happy.
“I remember that” Tubbo chimed in, now standing next to Ranboo one arm supporting Micheal and the other wrapped around Ranboo’s waist. “He kept jumping off the roof thinking he was going to be an expert right away” he laughed, rolling his eyes with a grin. There was a warm atmosphere to the room and everyone seemed content until Tommy said he smelled smoke and Ranboo's ears twitched up and his eyes went wide.
“Oh my god, the cookies” Ranboo yelped, his tail rising in alarm. The tuft on his tail twitched and he ran to the oven, Tubbo stumbling as he was leaning on him for support. Micheal gripped him tighter and he caught his balance before running after Ranboo yelling things that Micheal probably shouldn’t be hearing.
Phil chuckled, sitting down on his couch and opening his arms for Tommy to sit on his lap which he did reluctantly, letting Phil hold him like he did when he was younger. Tommy rolled his eyes and protested but didn’t struggle instead relaxing into the hold. It had been a while since someone made Tommy feel this safe. Since he moved away and lived near Tubbo and Ranboo who weren’t much interested in paying anyone else attention.
Someone banged the door open, making Tommy jump and Phil almost shove Tommy off his lap in surprise. His heart was beating too fast, and his breath quickened. Phil hated loud noises, he was more one for predictable and knowing what was happening, today however had been anything but predictable.
“Phil!” a deep voice exclaimed and Phil immediately registered it as Techno, one of the people here that actually lived here, “you’re finally home thank gods I don't think I can entertain that kid much longer,” he said, relief flooded in his voice and Phil studied the man. He was wearing his crown which was tilted to the side, his braid looked loose, his cape was covered in splinters and dirt, and he was carrying a large pile of firewood in his calloused hands.
“You chopping wood?” Phil asked and Techno nodded his head proudly as if he wasn’t the most skilled man with an ax. Granted he usually used those skills for fighting and not chopping wood but Phil didn’t see how different the two tasks were. “I’m proud of you Techno,” he said, earning a slanted smile from his son, his fangs gleaming in the light of the setting sun.
“I think you did a terrible job” Tommy chimed in and Phil flicked him in the head. He yelped and flipped Techno a middle finger when he thought Phil wasn’t looking. He obviously saw but didn’t see the point in interfering, this had been their dynamic since Tommy was young and made it his mission to knock down Techno’s ego every time he thought it was necessary.
“Ok cookie crisis averted” Ranboo exhaled, coming back into the room holding Tubbo’s hand in one of his own and Micheal’s in the other. They were an adorable family. Micheal let go of his dad and immediately ran over to Techno, grabbing at his cloak and snorting excitedly. Phil couldn’t tell if it was because of their shared piglin status or because Techno was constantly decked out in gold but Micheal seemed to love him.
“Hi, there kid” Techno’s voice softened as he kneeled down to greet the child. Phil tried to not audibly awe as Michel found his way into Technos coat, huddling into it as if he was cold. “You wanna wear it for a while?” he asked and was met with an affirmative snort.
Techno set down his wood and unclasped the gold fastening of his cloak, draping it gently around Micheal. He jumped up and down and ran over to Tubbo who looked like he was about to cry of happiness. Phil knew the feeling of seeing his kids so happy, it was the best thing a parent could think of and this scene in front of him made him the happiest he had been in a while. Almost all of his kids together again, a whole family like they used to be before Wilbur passed. He felt the hot threat of tears prick at his eyes but wiped them before anyone noticed. Well almost anyone.
Tommy noticed his dad’s emotions and wrapped his arms around him in a hug, making the tears come faster. He clung to Tommy and let the tears spill over his eyes and onto Tommy’s shirt, he didn’t want to cry but he hadn’t been this whole since he lost Wilbur and he thought he never would be again.
“Hey guys, I almost forgot to ask” he sniffled, pulling everyone’s attention away from Micheal and towards their dad. “Why are you all here?”
“Did you really forget?” Tommy asked, cocking his head curiously, still hugging Phil.
“You really are getting old, your memory is about as reliable as Ranboo’s” Tubbo laughed making Ranboo pout down at his husband. Phil knew he didn’t like people mentioning his faulty memory but he also knew Tubbo was allowed to do whatever he wanted. He was definitely the one in charge of the relationship, and he knew Ranboo wasn’t used to being bossed around like this.
“It’s Christmas Eve,” Techno said and Phil remembered. Before Wilbur died they all watched a movie and cuddled around the fire with homemade cookies every Christmas Eve. They were his favorite memories, they were always happy, no matter what, it was a tradition. He had forgotten since they were all scattered around the world after Wil. They didn’t want to do this tradition without him so they decided to not do it last year, now here they all were.
The tears threatened to come back but he pushed them back, not wanting to break down twice in front of everyone. Instead, he got up carefully letting Tommy off of his lap and walked over to the group. He picked Micheal up carefully, the piglin grunted happily and reached for his pocket. Phil laughed and pulled out a small golden ring.
“This was Wilbur’s,” he said softly, handing it to Micheal with a soft smile and looking up at the rest of the group, “he gave it to me before he died. He told me it was the most important thing he had. He said Sally gave it to him as a wedding ring.” he looked over to Techno who now had tears spilling softly from his eyes. It wasn’t easy for Techno to remember Wilbur, they were best friends as well as brothers. Tonight though he knew the tears were tears of joy. He knew tonight was a night to remember and miss him.
“I remember that ring” Tommy chimed in with a quiet voice, “I asked him why he needed a wedding ring. He told me it was a physical reminder of love” his voice cracked, “I- I told him I wanted to give him something to remember how much I loved him. I’d never seen Wil cry before then.”
Phil nodded, rubbing Tommy’s back as he let his own tears spill. Tubbo looked as if he remembered something and grabbed the necklace he wore tightly. It was a simple chain with a guitar pick attached.
“Wil gave me this,” he said carefully, “he told me it was special to him. He told me he trusted me with it because I was the most careful.” he laughed shakily and shook his head “I never take it off”. Ranboo smiled at his husband and pulled him into a hug, letting him cling to him.
“I um, I also have something from Wil” Techno whispered, he looked nervous and Phil grabbed his hand reassuringly. “He said it was for the next time we were all together” The man pulled out a key attached to a golden chain. “I think I know what it opens”
He led everyone up the stairs to Wilbur’s room and Phil shivered. He hadn’t been in there since he died, and he was sure that it would look exactly as he left it. He watched Techno open the door and he expected to see it messy as Wil usually had it. Instead, the room was perfectly clean, he looked to Techno for an explanation and found that he was blushing awkwardly. A harsh shade of pink painted his already rose-colored skin.
“I cleaned it up a little bit after he died,” Techno explained walking into the room, going to the closet, and opening it, “I guess you could say it was a way of coping”
He pulled out a small box, it was painted red and gold with green flowers all around it. Their family colors as they always joked, Phil and Tubbo were rarely seen wearing anything other than green while Tommy was constantly in red and Techno was never not wearing gold jewelry of some sort. Phil felt a smile pull at his face, and Techno fit the key in his hand into the keyhole, turning it easily.
The lid flipped open to reveal a USB drive and a note. Techno grabbed the note gingerly, opening it carefully not to tear the paper.
When Techno started to read Tommy grabbed Phil’s arm gently. In all his years alive Phil didn’t think he had ever seen Tommy this affectionate, he knew he and Wil were close but he didn’t guess just how close the two boys were.
“Dear family” Techno started, his voice shaking “I’m sorry. I wish I was with you tonight, I hope you all think of me as you’re all together. I gave Techno this key in case something bad happened to me and if you’re reading this chances are things went south. The USB holds some videos I think you’ll all enjoy. Merry Christmas.”
Phil was crying fully now, as we’re everyone else. Ranboo clung to Tubbo who was breaking down in his arms, Techno now holding Micheal and rocking him softly. Tears slipped down the pink complexion of Technos cheeks easily. Tommy hadn’t let go of Phil’s arm but refused to let himself break down too easily.
“I wanna watch the videos” Tommy muttered, looking at the USB warily and biting his lip. He wasn’t sure what was on the drive but he knew whatever it was Wil intended them to watch it today. Phil nodded and grabbed the USB out of the box, going back down the stairs and plugging it into his computer. He mirrored his monitor to the TV so everyone could see it better and opened the folder.
Displayed on the screen was a bunch of video files, the thumbnails each showing Wilbur at a different age. All of them displayed him sitting in his room with a dopey grin. Phil laughed a little and wiped the tears off his cheeks, rubbing Tommy’s cheeks as well making him smack his dad off of him.
“That motherfucker” Phil laughed, clicking on the first video as Wilbur started talking. His face was light and unburdened.
“Dear Diary” he started, there was a light blush on his face and Tommy laughed as he realized what they would be watching, “today I’m starting a video diary. I stole dad’s camera and it’s literally balanced on a bunch of books” the camera's angle moved to show a stack of books that had disappeared from Phil’s room years ago. He laughed as he realized this was also what happened to his expensive camera that Wilbur said he lost. “I wanna talk about what happened today…”
The group on the couch curled together, as Ranboo brought in a bunch of fresh slightly burnt cookies from the kitchen. Tubbo sat on his lap next to Techno and Michel who were somehow communicating in a piglin language that Phil didn’t know Techno knew how to speak. Tommy was half curled on Phil, his legs draped over Techno’s lap with Micheal playing with the golden bits of his shoelaces.
They sat there the whole night, recounting memories that Wilbur was talking about. When he got to the day he got his wings Tommy showed his off proudly as well, they gleaned blue for a second scaring him. He blamed it on blue light from the TV but there was something about the way they ruffled that Phil pegged as nervous energy.
“Wil loved the color blue” Tommy whispered to Phil later after a few more videos and his upset energy was wearing off, his voice was still shaken, “ever since he died, every time i’ve been stressed I’ve been seeing blue objects. The fact that they glowed blue…” He trailed off not wanting to finish his thought. Phil’s mind immediately flashed to something that he thought was odd at the time but brushed off. Now it was raising alarms.
“Did you dye a sheep blue Tommy?” he asked carefully. He was scared of what the answer would be despite already knowing. Video Wilbur rambled on and on behind them as Tommy slowly shook his head no.
Phil sat up suddenly, looking across the couch to see everyone else asleep. He grabbed Tommy’s hand gingerly and led him outside into the snow without even a coat or shoes on.
“Phil the fuck are we doing out here?” Tommy scoffed, goosebumps rising on his arms. He didn’t know if it was fear or cold and so he didn’t acknowledge it at all. Phil found that Tommy did that often when he had extreme emotions that he couldn’t handle and he didn’t quite know how to help him with it.
“This sheep.. blue… friend” Phil muttered, walking in the cold with abandon. He knew he looked crazy to Tommy and if he was being honest he felt crazy. No amount of crazy could make up such a vivid memory though.
He was walking through the fields a few weeks ago, the sun was out for one of the last times this late at night before winter dawned over them. He was collecting some of the last wheat harvests before it was too cold for wheat to grow. Despite the sun being out there was cold in the air, it sent shivers down his spine.
A bleat came through to his ears but it seemed to almost echo as if he was in a large room. Phil shook it off and continued to gather the wheat. A few times he heard a whisper of a voice as if there was someone with him, and it was such a specific voice.
“Wil?” Phil had whispered, feeling dumb. He knew everyone grieves differently so why should he have any reason to believe that this was real. A breath of a whisper came from behind him and he spun around to see a sheep. It was dyed blue and it looked up at him with intelligent eyes that made him want to cry for some reason.
The sheep bleated and nudged him, searching for some of the wheat that he had put in his pocket while farming it. He laughed and reached out to give him some. Usually, Phil didn’t give sheep the wheat because they could just eat grass but he decided one time wouldn’t hurt. The sheep accepted gratefully and sniffed around him before trotting off and going to a patch in the field that no sheep usually go.
Now Phil was standing in the same field in the snow with no shoes and no coat, looking for the same blue sheep. He needed answers and he needed them fast and for some reason, he felt like this sheep was the way to get the answers. A name popped into his head. One that he had never heard before but still felt right.
“Friend?” He questioned, twirling around in the snow as more started to fall, looking frantically for any hint of the blue sheep that had caught his attention, “FRIEND!” He shouted louder. Tears were falling from his eyes but he didn’t remember wanting to cry. Phil fell to his knees, the packed snow giving under his weight and melting in the heat of his tears.
“It’s ok Phil,” Tommy said carefully, grabbing Phil’s arm to help him back up. Phil couldn’t take it anymore, he spread his wings making Tommy stumble back. He started flying, he was going to search the whole damn world to find that sheep. “Phil wait!” Tommy said urgently, he could hardly hear him but he saw him pointing frantically at a hill. His eyes followed where he was pointing and were met with a bright blue sheep.
Quickly, he flew down to meet where the sheep was, barely even seeing Tommy scramble to keep up by foot not wanting to use his wings so soon. He landed softly a foot away from the sheep and it walked over to him calmly. He heard the whisper again.
“I’m sorry dad” He was sure it was Wilbur but he had no basis for this belief. There was absolutely no way to know for a fact but his mind told him it was and that was all he needed.
“It’s ok Wil” he whispered with a shaky breath, “It’s ok” His hand went to pet the sheep and was met with a soft, groomed wool that a wild sheep would never be able to achieve without someone grooming him.
“Do you like him?” Wil asked, his voice staying a whisper. He sounded proud of the sheep and Phil chuckled. He nodded slightly still looking at the sheep with a fascinated smile. He felt content every time his hand met the blue of the wool. “His name is Friend but I already told you that. He’s been really loyal and for some reason the only creature that can see me.”
“This means you’ve been around doesn’t it,” Phil asked, he wanted to be mad. He wanted to demand Wilbur tell him why he hasn’t been to see him but his anger faded with every touch of the sheep.
“It does.” He said simply, “and I have been to see you. Every time I see you it hurts that you can’t see me. That I can’t hug you. So I stopped.” Phil felt a ping of longing and he wished he knew where to look to see his son. He knew it was never going to happen though as he looked around, squinting and finding nothing.