Work Text:
Tap tap tap.
"Shizun~" a purr sounded and broke Shen Yuan out of his tea-induced stupor. He looked up to see Luo Binghe. Or Bing-ge if he should say. Why the hell is he wearing a white coat? Did he think he wouldn't be able to tell them apart if he changed his clothing?
"Mhm?" And then he dropped on one knee and purred which would have girls swooning on their feet. Too bad the one sitting in front of him is an old man. Like what the f***? Just because Shen Yuan got stuck in the role of love interest and fell in love with the protagonist doesn't make him a girl. What is this little horny sh*t up to now?
"Shizun! I missed you." The fan in Shen Yuan's hand broke. Both of them looked towards the fan in slow motion.
"Oh. Is that so? What do you want?" Shen Yuan was in no mood for this sh*t. He has work to do. Now he feels pity for Ming Fan. Like what the hell us permission to use book no. 680 written by xxxx to sell for financial purposes?
"S-shizun I-" F*** This headache is killing me! Why is the stallion protagonist stuttering?I only asked what in the world he wants?
"If you don't have anything to say, go back to your own world." What's with the change in expression? Did he really think when he had no eyes?
Then he stood up eyes red, denon sigil glowing, hey what's with the atmosphere? Like some sort of cowboy showdown. Ouch I need more tea.
"WHERE THE F*** IS CAFFEINE? I CAN'T LIVE ON TEA!"
"Don't ignore me Shen qingqiu!" The binge roared which caused Shen yuan's head to feel like it's bursting. And then?
.
.
.
The table broke under the pressure of Shen yuan which of course startled binge because the first time he's seen Shen qingqiu being downright furious. His eyes held no usual fear, just rage.
" Bingmei is more buff and fluffy and like two inches taller than you. Do you think I'm some woman from your harem who's IQ will drop the moment I come in contact with you? NO! I'm a man! I'm your shizun and I'M F***ING OLDER THAN YOU! IF IT WEREN'T FOR MY CULTIVATION I WOULD BE ONLY BONES BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN! I'VE SEEN ALL YOUR SH*T! GET OUR AND(BEEP) (BEEP) (BEEP) AND (BEEP) BACK IN YOUR WORLD! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU!"
"WHY are you like this to me! I'm much better than him! Why do you choose him-"
Shen Yuan pointed a trembling finger towards Binghe and said, "don't start that sh*t ! Think with your head not with your (beep) went can't the Shen Qingqiu from your world demand my binghe? Obviously he's much better than me. So why doesn't he argued with me about a more obedient disciple who doesn't think with his d*** and doesn't f*** up the world just because he's bored! BECAUSE HE HAS A BRAIN! WHICH YOU PROBABLY DON'T HAVE! YOU- URGH!!!!" Then very non elegantly, when yuan gripped his hair.
He sends spiritual energy into the turn paper and attacks binghe. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Then fingers in the eyeballs. Taking immortal binding cables, he bound the thorn of his life and threw him aside.
"Your brain is f***ed up with this thing! What is affection? Papappa! What is love? It's papappa! You want a treasure? More papapapa! Violence! Papapa do you know anything else? Show me your calligraphy!"
Luo Binge used his bound hand to write his own name.
"Wha- OH MY GOD! CAN YOU COPY THIS FOR ME?"
Luo Binghe wordlessly answered the question after copying it.
"Don't tell me you do the work back there! You don't know the basics of writing! That character is wrong! Are you a brute?"
"What are you talking about? I write well! Don't insult me!"
"Wait… So you are here instead of learning how to properly write? Are you a Bai Zhan brute? You are an emperor! Did nobody tell you that you are writing wrong? Stay here and reflect on what you did wrong! You are not a toddler who needs coaxing just to sit! You know the most annoying people? Who blame their traffic childhood for literally everything they do wrong! Why can't you move on! They just clutch their past like some child who lost their candy and then throw tantrums tossing the remaining candies around! You are adult of f***s sake!"
Because Shen yuan was venting and doing paperwork at the same time, he failed to see the years in Bingge's eyes.
About three days later, Shen yuan let Bingge go back home with a blank face after he finished writing a report about what he did wrong. Unaware of the now not sleep deprived but fully awakened Shen Yuan's inner turmoil.
Sh*t sh*t sh*t I yelled at the protagonist! He's going to mincemeat me! F*** f*** f*** I didn't even let him sleep!
Then he heard the sound of fireworks as the system screen popped up.
[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations!
Important things should be said three times!
User 002 has completed the SSS level difficulty hidden mission
(Guide Bing-ge to the right path!)
Reward: 1000000000000 +B points
+600000 cool points
Keep working hard, host! ✧\(>o<)ﾉ✧]
What a day indeed….