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💌
Stell immediately lands face first into the couch, moaning (in admittedly an awkwardly suspicious way) at the release of his sore muscles (god, why did he have to choreograph their comeback to be so exhausting??? at least it looked cool as fuck).
Something pokes at his neck, so he lifts his head, and swipes at the couch’s cushion. He watches as a pastel pink envelope flutters gently to the floor.
Huh .
He’s almost too tired to question it, but his curious mind gets the best of him, and he swipes it from off the floor (thankful it didn’t flutter too far away from where he was laying).
Stell glances behind him as he sat up, and as expected the door to the comfort room was still securely shut. He isn’t sure why he still does it, this was unofficially Stell’s personal room at the company, everyone knew that.
He drags his thumbs up and down the paper of the envelope as he thought about his day so far.
Stell was fortunate to have their dance practice be his last schedule for the day.
(Ken and Paulo were not so lucky, having a photoshoot directly after)
Josh, he actually wasn’t sure, but the dude sure did beeline it out of the room as soon as Paulo gave the green light. He either had somewhere to be, or was desperate for some shut eye.
Justin had stayed behind for a bit, a few questions about the choreography that Stell was happy to help smooth out.
He had ended up leaving a bit after they had sorted that out, though, and it took Stell another hour before he finally left the practice room himself.
Stell’s eyes fluttered shut as he thought of the youngest. He really had improved so much.
The boy’s sweet smile and gleaming eyes flash behind his eyelids and he nearly flinches off the couch, slamming his eyes open.
Stell’s eyes automatically lock onto the envelope, and he realizes he’s actually missed the small little heart sticker securing the envelope shut.
Justin fizzled out his mind for a second as he thought.
A love letter..?
He wonders how it got here.
He flipped the envelope absentmindedly, and is a bit surprised to see his own name scribbled in pen.
Stellvester!
Stell feels his ears burning a bit at the tips. He admits it’s rather cute and endearing.
Thumbing a bit under the fold, he decides he will read it. It doesn’t look to be a fan letter (the staffs would never have any fan gifts in this room, anyway).
As he gazed at the handwriting, (in sparkly pink pen he notes, and he admits they have opened with a strong case with that already) he can’t help but think he’s seen it before.
Perhaps he’s seen someone at the company with similar handwriting. His mind clicks.
They could be one in the same, he discovers. It would make sense, how this mysterious person knew to leave the letter here, as Stell would definitely be here, and only him.
He pushes the thought in the back of his head, humoring the admirer as he read it.
oh my god. I can’t believe im literally doing this but okay OKAY!! NO I CAN DO THIS!!
Stell chuckles a bit. Cute.
uhm.. hi! stell I think youre really really genuine and just so amazing!
Stell blinks at that. A secret admirer opening with how much they loved his.. not looks..? It was a bit new to him, as he was always praised on his visuals first and foremost often (despite literally being known as Heavenly Voice).
i watch you from afar, just.. yknow. admiring? haha! yes I suppose that’s why theyre called secret admirers :)
that sounds really weird aaaaaa
and they drew a little flustered blush face.
i really.. just that! admire you! i look up to you as a kuya first of all.
secret admirer.. are you okay with that?
i can be your little secret, just as you can be mine, right?
i wish i could just approach you and tell you how I feel, but I don’t think you see me like that.
Stell raises an eyebrow at that. So he knew this person?
ah. but that’s besides the point.
i stumbled into you one day, and then suddenly you were blooming everywhere in my desolate garden. why cant you leave my head?
will this letter ever reach you, that I do not know.
just remember I’m cheering you on, until next time, starboy!
— yours dearest, J :)
Stell’s eyes skim the letter again and then one more time.
His fingers rise to touch his cheek gently, and he finds its warm to the touch.
Okay, so maybe he found the letter endearing.
Starboy, huh. He found he liked the nickname.
He pockets the letter after carefully folding it back into the envelope, then he makes his way back home.
💌💌
Stell huffs with effort as he chugs his way through the company’s halls, making his way to the practice room.
The other members were off doing their own things, Josh and Ken were together at Ken’s place, playing with Kuro (he didn’t even need anyone to tell him, A’tin were crying about it on twitter plenty), and Paulo was hanging back in the studio with Justin, recording some demo he thought Justin’s voice would suit.
He throws the door open and tosses his bag in blindly, hands feeling for the light switch.
When he finds it, the sudden brightness has his head spinning for a second, but he quickly recovers.
His eyes immediately catch the pink envelope stuck to the ceiling to wall mirrors with a piece of tape with cobs of corn as patterns.
Stell opens the envelope quickly this time, sliding down against the mirror into a cross legged sit on the floor.
stell :).
i think about the stars a lot. i love the stars. i love how i can trace constellations, and represent each star with a person. that they don’t need to know how much I’m thinking about them. do you mind, how much I think about you?
you’re a series of twinkling lights, connecting into a gentle constellation, glowing in the darkest of nights.
a bit cheesy, yeah? haha. I’ve been told I’m a bit corny. (get it? because the tape?).
Stell can’t help but roll his eyes at the joke. So reminiscent of Justin’s stupid jokes that he can’t help but laugh at.
His mind wanders off to think of Justin again. That boy was the definition of stars in your eyes. Didn’t help that he was a walking ball of sunshine, either. Supernovas exploded with every step the boy took.
Stell’s thoughts snap back to the letter.
I love your drive to be better. But.. can’t you please take a break once and awhile? it won’t kill you. Sometimes the best way to improve, is to step back a bit. You don’t have to listen to me, what do I know after all. I’m just someone who writes a few letters.
But I hope you take a well deserved break every once and awhile. It could do you some good.
rest well, starboy!
J :)
Stell pockets the letter into his bag with a gentle smile. The thought of being looked out for was nice, regardless of who it was from.
He thought about his admirer’s words, when his phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket.
Justin had texted the groupchat,
IM FREE FROM PRISON!!!!!!!!!
and Paulo had immediately followed it with a,
SO DRAMATIC >:/
it was like half an hour of singing not a final exam jah LORD
and then Justin again with,
WELL N E WAYS 😳 DOES ANYONE WANNA HANG OUT AND GET BOBA???? :D!!!!
Stell glances at the letter he had just tucked away. Take a break .
Stell types.
Meet me at the practice room, kuya will pay :)
He can almost hear Justin screaming happily from the practice room.
💌💌💌
Stell is caught off guard when he spots the pink envelope sitting pretty on top of his backpack, just in one of the common rooms at the company.
There were a flood of staff walking past the halls or even in and out the comfort room.
His members weren’t even at the company anymore, long having gone home before the sun set.
Even the backpack had remained untouched and unmoved from when he tossed it over here when he first arrived in the morning.
How long had this envelope been here?
Still, Stell picked it up, and headed towards somewhere a bit more private.
He opened the letter up, and read what his admirer had written to him this time.
Hihi :)
I’m just going to wordvomit for you. Sorry, but there’s been so many things running through my mind lately.
I think all love is the same, there is no special love reserved for “romantic love”. Is that strange to say?
Why should I classify my love for my kuya different from my love for you? I believe genuine love is the foundation of our engagements with not only ourselves, but friends, family, strangers, lovers, with everyone we chose.
I thought it was just a funny infatuation, a crush, puppy love. I’ll get over it eventually.
But I never did. The more I saw you laugh, cry, scream, and smile, the deeper I dug myself.
I remember one night, suddenly, I was crying.
It was already love.
Love is not a consolation.
But it is a light.
Goodnight, Starboy, I think I’ll be signing off with that.
Sorry about the “gross feelings talk” instead of the “gushing over Stell feelings talk”.
You should keep your hair at the length it
is now, btw, it suits you :)
J :)
Stell found himself looking in the mirror, softly brushing his bangs out of his face, only for them to fall back into place.
He almost didn’t notice the soft blush dancing across his face.
💌💌💌💌
Stell found this letter taped to a box of chocolates, sitting on the table in his comfort room at the company, where he had first found the first letter.
He wastes no time, curious as to what his admirer has for him this time.
Stell :)
yknow.
I once wished to touch the stars. But you are made of something purer, I think you do come from stars.
Starboy. Did you ever question the nickname?
I think it fits. But the name is rather fond to me. I suppose it only makes sense I assign it to you then, huh? Haha :)
I appreciate that you give yourself permission to be happy with yourself. Not when you lose weight, or you finally hit a hard high note. Not when you experience temporary pleasures.
I really admire that about you, and seeing that in you has really helped be grow.
You inspire me. You inspire so many people.
Touch the stars for me, alright? I’ll be there, right by your side.
Stell blinks a few times at the words. That sounded awfully familiar, like a tune stuck in his head with lyrics just on the tip of his tongue. He swears he’s heard something along those lines before. Touch the stars .
Stell, please stop staying at the company so late, too. It’s worrying how much you work, remember what I said about taking a break?
Go to bed early tonight, you deserve it.
J :)
A yawn slips through his lips, and he stares at chocolates on the table that the letter was taped to, he remembers that he should be heading home soon.
His thoughts suddenly jump to Justin. He didn’t remember seeing the boy leave the company yet either.
Stell walked around aimlessly for a bit, before finding Justin dozing off in a studio, as he fumbled with a song he was producing.
Justin gave Stell a ride home, not once questioning the box of chocolates Stell was hauling around.
Stell insisted on Justin staying at his place,
(it’s too dangerous to drive when you’re sleepy! He had chided)
and he made sure Justin slept comfortably before he laid beside him in his bed. He smiled tiredly to himself when Justin curled into Stell the moment he felt the body heat.
+ 💌
Stell’s phone buzzes suddenly, nearly vibrating straight off the table he put it on. Flicking his glasses up his nose a bit, he checks the screen to see Justin had texted him.
can you meet me at the park?
Stell pauses as he reread the message. It wasn’t strange that Justin wanted to hang out, the boy loved being around his kuyas, but the way he asked was rather strange.
Still, he tapped out a confirmation, and shut his laptop, moving to change into a nice outfit.
It was a nice day outside, and Stell was glad Justin had invited him out. He was going to completely miss such a great day inside (but having a free schedule, it was easy to just stay in bed the whole day, which is what Ken was very adamant about).
He spots Justin, bright pastel green hoodie against the dark patches of grass.
Stell adjusts his glasses, and makes his way over to the boy.
Justin greets him with a nervous smile, both his hands behind his back.
Before Stell can even get a word out, Justin is holding something to Stell.
He looks at it, and feels his eyes widen as the familiar pastel pink envelope burns his vision.
He glanced up at Justin, only to see him looking away, head ducked down so his hair covered his face.
But Stell carefully takes the letter into his hand, and opens it up, unfolding it gently, and beginning to read.
Hey.
Yknow. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. And I think, yeah, despite the blaring red alarms in my head, I owe it to you, to confess.
Like.. actually this time.
Because of you, I’m not afraid to love, to be loved. I know myself better, and I want to know you just as much. Let me know you. The actual you.
The one that effortlessly catches my jokes and bounces them back to me when no one else does.
The one that stares up at the sky only to stare at me with all those stars reflected in those eyes.
Show me the Stell that takes care of me.
And I’ll show you the Justin that loves all of you.
And that was the confirmation. There was no signing off with “J :)”, nothing.
Stell looks back up only to see Justin is still refusing to look at him, head turned to the side, his hair falling into his face (but no longer covering his red face well enough).
But Stell is more surprised to see a bouquet of flowers being held to his face.
“Jah,” Stell says, and Justin’s eyes flicker to lock with his. The bouquet of flowers is cool against Stell’s hands as he takes it, but he still holds it to his chest anyway, allowing the letter and envelope to flutter to the floor.
Justin still is struggling to face Stell, face glowing the reddest he’s ever seen (it’s ridiculously cute).
“Jah.” Stell echos, a bit firmer, but the warmth and fondness must seep into his words like a broken dam because Justin faces Stell again.
“Hi.” Justin finally replies, timid and shy, the word clumsily falls from his mouth, and Stell catches it easily. He’s so cute.
“Starboy.” Stell quotes. He remembers now.
It’s the name Justin’s been using often in his letters. But he recognizes the nickname from earlier than that. “That was my nickname for you predebut.” Stell relays, and he knows he’s right when Justin blinks in surprise.
And it was, Stell used to find it so endearing that Justin would always look up to the night sky with childlike wonder. He confessed that when he was little he dreamed of flying in the stars, to touch the stars.
So Stell had called him Starboy. He doesn’t remember why he stopped.
Justin huffs, puffing his cheeks a bit. “Well, now it’s yours.” Always so stubborn (cute).
And then he crosses his arms, and Stell can’t hold back the laugh that bubbles up his throat. Because wow he looked cute when pretend angry..!
“Okay, okay.” He relents when Justin sends him a soft glare, pout only intensifying. “Anything for you, Starlight.”
And Justin almost passes out. Instead he hides his face in his hoodie sleeves.
Stell actually does laugh in Justin’s face because he don’t even realize it was possible for his face to get even redder.
Justin stammers a bit, even a few english sentences stumbling out, and Stell knows he’s really flustered the boy.
But he decides to show some mercy, and he pulls one of the daisies from the bouquet to tuck it behind Justin’s ear.
“I like you too, you know.”
Justin freezes, and stares up at Stell’s face, almost as if searching for the joke.
But Stell just smiles warmly at the boy. Of course Justin wrote those letters, who else could it have been?
“Can I.. kiss you..?” Justin finally asks, and Stell just smiles wider.
“Thought you’d never ask.”
Only Justin would be that cheesy to write love letters instead of telling him. God.
How obvious.