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Bobby is a single father by choice. Six months ago when he decided to adopt he received many negative remarks. Some talked about their concerns, some opposed it and some even called him crazy for ruining his life.
He didn’t care what people thought. He never did. ‘You are doing nothing wrong,’ there was only one person he needed to hear it from, his mother. She had accompanied him when he met his son for the first time. That adorable little thing was barely even a month old, found at the fire station and abandoned. He knew he was his when his finger touched his soft palm and those tiny fingers curled around it for comfort.
He remembers the overwhelming emotions he felt when he first held him. His hands were shaking. He was afraid he might hurt him, tears blurring his sight already. But his mother had her arms draped around both of them securely and he knew he could do it. He wanted to protect his son the way his mother did for both of them.
Currently, he was sitting on the floor, cradling the child in his arms as he kept crying profusely. Bobby was frustrated, angry that his son was in pain and he didn’t even know how to help.
“He is crying like this for an hour. I’ve done everything. Should I take him to E.R?” He was thinking of that for a while. But, his mother would be the first person he would call every time he had any doubt.
She was his inspiration. The reason he knew he wanted to become a parent. To love someone tirelessly. He never understood the happiness he gave her when he stepped into her life until he had his child that made it happen. He finally understood that the unconditional love received by the parents comes from all the colours the child brings in their life.
“Did you give him the medicine I gave you for the stomach pain? It might be gas,” she said, her voice sleepy. He almost chuckled when he realized it was midnight. Normal people slept at this time. There was no such luxury for him.
“It could be gas but the medicine is not working on him ,” he said, staring at his kid’s tears-stricken eyes. He had studied and read almost everything there was about childcare. He wanted to be prepared before he took such a big responsibility and only when he felt ready did he take further steps.
“Okay. Okay. Did you feed him yet?”
“He isn’t eating anything. I even looked for injuries and anything unusual but I found nothing. MOM! Please, just…” he was going crazy. In times like this, he understands how lonely it is to raise a child alone. It is tiring.
After his call with his mother and her agreeing that a visit to E.R might be a good idea, he immediately dialled another number. One person that had helped him whenever it concerned his son. “Can you come to pick me up? I need to take our Kimchi to the hospital and I don’t think I can drive.” Kimchi was the nickname Junhoe came up with for his son and he believes it fits perfectly. Just like the precious pride of every Korean, he is loved by everyone.
All his bandmates supported his decision and protected him against all the hate he received like a wall and he knew without them he wouldn’t have been able to have this joy in his life.
Not long after, Kim Hanbin was waiting for him at his door. He picked all the necessary supplies in his bag and tried to keep the kid in the baby car seat that Hanbin had already installed in his car but that led to him crying even louder.
He sighed and pulled him up to his chest and sat on the backseat reluctantly leaving Hanbin to drive alone.
"Just a little longer, baby." He whispered in the baby's ear, cradling him. His hands were numb by now. They have memorized each other's warmth. Oftentimes, they understood how the other felt. They had their own language and connection.
When Bobby would be too stressed from work, the kid would laugh for him. He would play with his long locks and purr for attention until Bobby gave in. And then he would forget all about his worries, spending hours playing with his son.
Hanbin kept asking him the same panicked questions his mother did. The difference being he had no experience or idea of what he was speaking and it was all the information he received from the internet. When Bobby adopted, Hanbin knew he would need help and he knew he would be the first person he would trust. Since then, he was training himself and taking care of both Bobby and Kimchi when needed.
"Hyung, don't worry. He will be fine." He ended the conversation with that, understanding it was what Bobby needed the most right now.
Their band had dismembered almost 2 years ago. None of them renewed their contracts, content with the memories they made so far and ready to have somewhat stable lives. Now, most of them are fulfilling their military services and working on building their careers and doing things they never got to do.
Bobby, however, decided to pull himself away from the limelight after he had his son. He gave his undivided attention to him, cherishing each day as he watched him grow and had no regrets.
He was pacing back and forth on the hospital floor while his baby was getting checked. Hanbin volunteered to take him in, forcing Bobby to give rest to his sore muscles.
"Jiwon, you are a mess. Just please sit down and calm down," Despite his protests, Hanbin had called Jinhwan, the only other parent among them, saying they needed someone wise. And Jinhwan had rushed to the hospital with no questions.
Bobby realized he must really be a mess. He was wearing the same jeans for almost 9 hours. His black T-shirt was stinking of baby food and stained by various fluids. His hair had stood straight due to his fingers repeatedly running through them and his eyes felt dry enough for him to know they were red.
"I must have done something wrong. I must have hurt him somehow. I'm so stupid, hyung. How did I think I could take care of a baby?"
"I am sure you have done nothing. Babies fall sick, Jiwon. We can't protect our kids from everything. You don't have to be perfect, no you can't be. As parents, we have to recognize our limits and accept them." Jinhwan made him sit and sip on the cup of water.
Bobby was crying at his words. His son was his life but he was in constant fear of not being enough. Hearing that he wasn't lagging was a relief.
"I will inform you when they come out. Sleep here for a while," Jinhwan told him and he didn't have the strength to protest. He was tired and even if his head was exploding with tension, he found himself dozing off.
Jinhwan didn't wake him up. His eyes opened after an hour of a good nap. He immediately shot up with fear but relaxed to find Hanbin sitting with his baby next to him.
He was confused to see that Kimchi's eyelids were shut peacefully.
"The tests came out all normal. The stomachache could be because of gas or some other reason. They said it's pretty common and gave him some medicine. It took Jinhwan hyung an hour to calm him and the champ is sleeping like a baby." Hanbin informed him. Bobby looked to his left to find Jinhwan slumped on his chair, scrolling through his phone and smiling as he heard the conversation.
Bobby finally let out a sigh of relief. He held his son, kissed his head and smiled widely. "He is a baby. Of course, he will sleep like one."
"Then you are a baby too. You were sleeping the same," Hanbin laughed, deserving a smack on his arm.
"Dorks," Jinhwan rolled his eyes but they shone with pride. There was a family in front of his eyes. Maybe not blood-related but no less than that.