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The emotion chip was not extra programming. It did not alter Data’s way of life. It did nothing, in fact, but hold the programming for a holodeck program.
Data regretted the rudeness of abandoning Geordi to go input the code into the holodeck immediately upon being reactivated, but it had seemed the most important thing to do at the time.
He stood at the terminal until the whole thing had been put into the holodeck, and ran the program.
He entered the room, recognizable as Doctor Soong’s laboratory, where he had died. The elderly doctor sat, sunk down in a chair, tapping the arm, as Data walked in.
“Good, Data.” The man croaked. “Sit down, sit. Just because this is a recording doesn’t mean you can’t get comfortable.”
Data did as he was told.
“Now, I know this isn’t what you thought it was going to be. You think this is going to make you feel emotions like every other human and humanoid bouncing around in their tin cans that you hang out with.” Doctor Soong pursed his lips as he sat up. “That’s not the case, I’m afraid.
“When I made Lore, his emotions overwhelmed him. I guess that’s what happens when you give human emotions to something born fully formed- they have no time to learn, or regulate, or- or self-soothe like a human child does. A human gets their childhood to learn all that. Lore got a handful of days.
“It’s one of my greatest failings. Felt like the most merciful thing for him was to take him apart. I think I might have been wrong about that, looking back on it. But what was done was done. I can’t control what I did when I was a younger man, nor can Lore control what he did when his emotions were new. So instead I set out upon making a new android. A new legacy. I set out to make you.”
The Doctor bounced his leg a little as he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees like Riker did sometimes.
“You were my pride and joy, Data. Suppose I won’t end up saying it to your face when you’re here. But you were. Everything Lore was, except I treated you far better. Made you a happier man in the long run. I’m not proud of you because you’re- because you’re technologically superior. Lore matched you in almost everything, except your programming. And I’m not proud of you because I put better script in your brainpan either.”
Data had to search the term to understand the sentence, mouth moving softly to conjure synonyms without sound to interrupt the doctor.
“I’m proud of you because I know you won’t hurt like Lore does. You won’t be scared and angry and confused like him. You’ll be rational and think things through first. I suppose you already have been for decades now. And that’s good.”
“Pause simulation.” Data stood up, dwelling briefly upon the aged face of his creator before turning to leave.
He had significant reason to believe that the holodeck program served to tell him that he would not be gaining emotional capabilities. Therefore, watching the rest of it instead of returning to Geordi for a status update was not the best course of action.
“Data!” Geordi greeted him as he returned to engineering.
“Hello Geordi.” The familiar subroutines written for Geordi’s presence ran themselves, Data’s processor opening the files to run the contents with ease acquired with time.
“What was that all about? Running off like that, I mean.”
Data had to pause to search for exactly what Geordi meant. Sometimes Geordi phrased things just strangely enough that he could not understand without extra processing.
“My apologies.” He settled on as he understood. “The chip’s contents took priority for a moment. I am back now.” Reiterating that he had returned was something that he had picked up from Counselor Troi. It was a soothing redundancy- stating the obvious to ground somebody and remove them from the fear of their previous situation. Counselor Troi was very good at explaining these sorts of things to Data.
“So? You feel any different?” Geordi asked, smiling and tilting his head in the same way he would when looking at an interesting project. It wasn’t that Geordi thought of Data as a project, but rather that projects were significant to Geordi.
“No. My operations are unchanged. The chip-” It was not the case that the chip had not failed to serve its intended function, so he could not say it was unsuccessful. “-Was not what it was expected to be.”
Geordi’s forehead creased with the expected frown. “What do you mean? What did it do?”
“The chip contained a holodeck program. A recorded message from Doctor Soong informing me that I would not be gaining emotional capacity.” Data informed Geordi, the memory of Doctor Soong saying “that’s not the case” resurfacing and running unbidden.
“Data, I- I’m so sorry.” Geordi hovered again, like he did sometimes when he seemed upset. He acted as if he was not sure what to do and was caught by the indecision.
“I do not have the emotional capacity to express disappointment.” Data assured Geordi.
“Why would Soong tell you it was an emotion chip if it was a lie?” Geordi asked, though Data would have no real way of having that knowledge.
“Perhaps it was simply the name of the holodeck file, similar the subject line to a twenty-first century email.” Data suggested.
“That doesn’t sound about right.” Geordi insisted. “What did he-” Geordi interrupted himself to make a sound that Data compared against other random noises Geordi had made and identified it as a “frustrated” sound, like the ones Geordi made when he was losing at poker, or when the engine was “being stubborn.”
“We cannot know what Doctor Soong meant by giving us false information.” Data stated.
“Yeah, but there has to be something. Did you run the whole simulation? Is there some sort of hidden code? Maybe he had to tell you in a specific cipher so Lore couldn’t get his hands on it.” Geordi brought up several possibilities, all that seemed, to Data, somewhat illogical.
“I did not run the whole program. Doctor Soong’s intention was clear.”
“Well, he’s a human. And an old one at that. He might’ve wanted to talk for a while before giving you what you needed. Come on. We’re finishing the program.”
Geordi didn’t wait for Data to answer before he started heading for the turbolift.
“Geordi-” Data began, but realized very quickly that Geordi would not, in fact, be listening.
Data supposed he should follow.
The recording of Doctor Soong was still sitting in his armchair, frozen in time as Data had left him. Geordi waited for Data to enter the room before running the program again.
Data returned to his chair.
“-have been for decades now. And that’s good. The way I made you, Data, is that you’re different. Different from most humans, and different from Lore. I gave Lore all the intense emotions of a young neurotypical human male. Not that you can tell or anything.”
“No kidding,” Geordi muttered.
“But you, I gave you the ability to develop emotions by yourself. You don’t need an upgrade, Data, because you already feel. Just not like most people you’ve ever met. You don’t express it, and you certainly can’t identify it. I told you you were incapable of it to let yourself warm up to the feeling of feeling- the idea had been to raise you for a while and let you know when you were still pretty young but- well, not in the cards. I’m telling you now, though- you can feel. And you do! Every day, I know you do. You brain is built on logic and adaptability. You live with humans, whose emotions can affect their physical state or how the ship runs- At some point, you must have said to yourself- “I need to learn how this works to optimize my efficiency” and you did. You can formulate opinions based on the core values I put in you, and your interpretation of how to use those, and how those ideals expanded when you were in the world.
“Data, you can feel because you can think. And you might be- put out because you want to feel the way humans feel, and I know that, but some humans do experience emotion in a similar way. No two humans will often feel similarly. And you’re not human, so you don’t have to be human, but- well, I understand you might feel left out.”
The doctor relaxed back into his chair, groaning.
“I haven’t been around, so I can’t help you navigate identifying your feelings. I’m sure Starfleet has people for that, though- or maybe you’ll just have to learn it all by yourself. That was never the intention. Life has a- a funny way of making your plans go sideways sometimes.” Doctor Soong let out a small laugh, and closed his eyes. “I was going to raise you among the bravest colonists in the stars. I was going to take you off the planet when you were well adjusted and show you everything there was to see. I was going to- to have you learn rage and honor from the klingons, and compassion from us humans, and to see things from the unique perspective of a Vulcan.”
Data found his processor grinding the information Doctor Soong was giving him, trying to extrapolate every detail, even as the doctor kept speaking.
“It would’ve been good to show you everything with a guide. I’m sorry you had to do that all alone.” Data had not. “I hope you forgive me.” Data did not know what for. “And I hope you learn to understand what your own happiness feels like.”
There was another pause.
“You know, Data, I’ll probably be dead by the time you hear this!” Doctor Soong chuckled, opening his eyes back up. “Weird to think about. I’ve lived for so long, I’m not so sure being dead will be easy to adjust to! Well, I’m sorry I- I’m sorry I hid for so long. I should have activated your homing chip ages ago. I wonder if I was just- afraid you’d be mad at me and hold a grudge. Or worse, just not think anything of me at all. I was scared that, even though I tried my hardest to make things better for you, that things went wrong anyways. I was scared that you'd be scared and angry and confused like Lore was because I failed to make you better. Fix the issue. Patch the bug. I hope that’s not the case.
“I used to be angry like Lore was. Seeing him become that way over the course of a week was like- like I’d passed down a bad family trait. You should’ve seen me when I realized I talked to him like my mother used to talk to me- oh I was livid. I never understood why folks with kids got so sad when their kids turned out like them until I realized that they were afraid of the bad in them coming out in their kids. And even more than that, they were afraid that those kids were going to be fighting the same demons they fought their whole lives. It was like that with Lore. And with you. Sons of not body, but of mind.”
“I am not less perfect than Lore.” Data said, quietly, a repeat of what he had said on the planet’s surface.
“I failed to give him what he deserved out of life. I hope I might’ve succeeded a little more with you. God, I’m rambling I- You know I’ve recorded this about ten whole times so far? I’m getting about ready to just throw in the ghost- throw in the towel, rather. I need to get this whole thing rendered and packed up. I should either just write a script or be done with all this. There’s too much I want to say to you. There’s so much I want to make you understand, but I forfeited that chance when I lost you. So I’ll just have to-” the old man sighed- “trust that I did all I could, even with all my mistakes. Alright. Well. I’m going to- to get this chip ready for you, I think. Ok. Computer, end recording.”
And Doctor Soong faded out of Data’s view.
“. . . That felt a little personal. Sorry I sat in for that, Data.”
“I do not have-” Data started, but faltered. It was not true that he did not have the emotional capacity to be embarrassed. Apparently, he did. “. . . I do not mind.”
“I had a feeling though. You always seemed a little more than emotionless to me. I mean, I’ve seen you get downright indignant. Well- for you, I guess.”
“I do not get indignant.” Data stated.
Geordi laughed, and Data did not quite understand why.
“I wonder if this is why the captain likes you so much. You’re a lot like him.”
“Hm?”
“Well, he expressed his emotions in ways a lot of people think are sorta confusing. And you express your emotions so differently that even you thought you didn’t have any. So I think he gets you because he’s so used to himself that he can read you.” Geordi theorized. Data thought on this for a moment.
“That could be the case. However, I can’t help but express some doubt as to whether or not what Doctor Soong told me was true. I seem to have emotions to you, however, it is a common human practice to personify things-”
“Data, you are not just a thing.” Geordi cut him off, and Data closed his mouth. “You spent a long time thinking you were emotionless, so I get doubting it, but- give it some thought, alright? If you think about it, human emotions are based on logic and then just made bigger- we don’t like things because we think they’re bad, so they make us angry or frustrated. So you could very easily have been feeling this whole time. And nobody told you what emotions feel like, so- how would you even know?”
Data thought on that, for a moment.
“That is true. Thank you, Geordi.”
Geordi nodded. “Of course, Data.”
“Could I ask you something?”
“Of course.” Geordi seemed unaware of the repetition.
Data paused, formulating his question. “Going forward, could I count on your counsel to learn how I feel emotions? I understand that Counselor Troi might be a better fit, however I have spent a great deal of time around you, and I feel as if you would have a unique perspective regarding my emotions.”
Geordi laughed a little, and smiled. “Yes, Data. I’ll help you. You don’t have to ask.”
“It seemed polite.” Data explained.
“It was. You don’t always have to be polite with me, you know.” Geordi smiled- teasing?- and nudged at Data. “Come on. We should go see Deanna about this. And I’m sure the rest fo the crew would like to know, if you feel comfortable with it.”
Data thought that he was comfortable with it.