Archive of Our Own

When Jaehyun said he had a fun summer trip planned for them, Juyeon kindly told him he was not interested.

Jaehyun means well, he knows. They have known each other since university, when Juyeon was a long-limbed, awkward Business major and Jaehyun was a Law student who would get a little too heated during debates. He is kind, passionate and worries deeply about each of his friends, so it doesn’t come off as a surprise that he would try and drag Juyeon to one of his healing adventures. He has a beach house in Jeju, undeniably beautiful and spacious judging by the photos, and he says it has seen everyone except his handsome, hardworking friend.

Juyeon, however, is busy. He's just gotten promoted to Assistant Manager, has to train his new batch of interns, has to feed his cat, has presentations to make and reports to write. He already feels like he's lagging behind if compared to his fellow graduates, he doesn't need to take a break and let another employee steal an opportunity that could be his because he was busy relaxing. He wouldn't consider himself someone who was obsessed with work, instead he chooses to focus on his career because it's the area of his life he can have the biggest amount of control over. Also, being better at his job means more money on his bank account, which is always useful.

Because Jaehyun is nothing if not insistent, Juyeon wonders if he'll need to be more assertive with his denial. He's at home, a pen tucked behind his ear as he finishes typing up an email to a supplier, and his phone keeps vibrating with KakaoTalk notifications. Blue, his kitten, is on his lap, purring as he pets the top of her head. She's his companion, his emotional support pet, the one living being responsible for his mental sanity. No one would take care of her if he was gone, he notes this down as another reason to stay home.

As if on cue, the doorbell rings. Blue elegantly jumps off Juyeon's lap to scratch at the door, and this could only mean one thing.

"Hi, loser," Hyunjun greets him, his drawstring bag hanging at one shoulder, smelling of lemongrass soap and skin lotion. Blue meows at him, rubs herself against his leg, and he squats to coddle her as per usual. "Hi, baby."

Hyunjun lives next door. They first met when Hyunjun and his roommate, Eric, moved to Juyeon's building around three years ago. He had offered to help them with setting up their flat, relating to once being a skinny kid fresh out of high school who had no idea how to be a functional adult, and they've been reasonably close ever since. They're dance majors, almost graduating now, and they come over for Juyeon's food, his Amazon Prime account and to play with his cat. 

Hyunjun specializes in modern dance, has a striking sense of fashion and a dramatic flair to everything he does. Judging by his more casual attire, grey sweatpants and a loose sleeveless shirt, he probably came straight from practice and only showered before knocking on Juyeon's door to disturb his peace of mind.

"I didn't make dinner today, you'll have to order something," Juyeon announces, immediately shifting his focus back to his email, looking for any grammar mistakes.

Hyunjun scoffs. "I had dinner before coming here, thank you. That's not why I came."

Juyeon keeps on proofreading, waiting for the younger boy to explain himself.

"Jaehyun hyung called me," Hyunjun says, finally, sitting on one of the kitchen stools. Jaehyun is a frequent presence at Juyeon's apartment and he has taken to Hyunjun much like a mother hen would to a baby chick, while simultaneously teaching Eric how to perfect the art of being a complete demon.

Juyeon is happy his closest friends have a good relationship but that allows them to conspire behind his back. "I'm not going."

"Why not?" Hyunjun asks, indignantly. "I'll bring Blue to my place, she's already used to me and Eric pestering her anyways, she won't even notice you're gone. And you haven't asked for paid leave in years, your boss has to give you one now. It's the law."

He has so much confidence in his delivery you wouldn’t think he doesn’t know the first thing about law.

Juyeon sighs. "I have work, Hyunjunie. Lots of it. I can't go to Jeju and pretend I don't have responsibilities."

"It would be a week, hyung," Hyunjun argues. "You're overworking yourself. When was the last time you ate a full meal?"

Juyeon scratches the back of his head. "Um, yesterday? I had spicy noodles for dinner."

Hyunjun pinches the bridge of his nose, exasperated. "When was the last time you slept eight full hours?"

"No adult sleeps eight full hours," Juyeon replies, to disguise the fact he can't remember the last time he has had a satisfying night of sleep. Not that it bothers him - he does think it's a common thing, and a bit of coffee goes a long way towards helping busy businessmen gain energy.

"Studies confirm that employees have better results after taking breaks, because they're well-rested and seeing new environments brings new ideas to the brain or whatever," Hyunjun recites it passionately, almost as if he has a script with him - he doesn't, of course, he's simply like this. "You're eating like shit, barely sleeping and refusing to even rest for one harmless week! That's gonna fuck up your professional life, too."

Juyeon squints at him. "What's in it for you?"

"Nothing, I swear," Hyunjun brings his hand to his chest. "I just worry about my favorite hyung, who feeds me and lets me watch Fleabag on his couch."

It's a joke, but Juyeon feels weirdly touched by that. Truth being told, he knows Hyunjun is right: taking a small break would definitely increase the creativity aspect of his projects, and he's been having a hard time coming up with innovative ideas for a while now. He still doesn't think he needs eight hours of sleep, still doesn't see the need of three meals a day when only one bowl of soup and a shot of espresso are enough to keep him going, but.

"You and Eric should wait for me to come back before you finish the second season," Juyeon reminds him.

Hyunjun blinks. "Are you really going?"

"One week only," Juyeon says, sharply. "If you promise not to watch Fleabag without me."

Hyunjun grins. They spend the rest of the night choosing outfits for Juyeon’s trip and shoving them in a duffle bag, Eric comes over, orders pizza and chokes on a slice after ugly crying when watching This Is Us. Juyeon thinks he’ll miss those kids, nosy and loud as they are, if they ever move after graduation. He doesn’t experience loneliness too often, as someone who likes having his own quiet space, but whenever he does, it’s good to see he’s not all by himself.

.

Juyeon is officially on paid leave. 

His interns aren’t too happy about it, because the other assistant managers in their department are unbearable bigots and Juyeon is, according to curly-haired, wide-eyed Woonggi, the only person who doesn’t bully him for coffee and instead gives him tasks that make sense. Seoyoung, a trendy zoomer with no bark and all bite, wonders how she’ll refrain from swearing at her asshole superiors. Yejin, cheerful and eager, says she’ll take care of them for him, which isn’t reassuring in the slightest considering she’s the most chaotic of them all. Instead, Juyeon puts his hope on Soeun, who is the oldest of the bunch. She’s calm, self-controlled and very professional, only wishes him a good trip and turns on her heels to go to the copy machine. She reminds him of himself, even, so he trusts her.

In contrast, Hyunjun and Eric are over the moon with the possibility of being cat parents. They buy toys and flavored cat food and Juyeon has to remind them that he’ll only be off for a week — his company had given him 15 days, actually, but he doesn’t want to leave Blue without him for too long —, but they insist they’re seeing the opportunity as training for when they adopt a pet of their own. They’ve been fighting over it for months, Eric wanting a dog and Hyunjun insisting cats are cuter and demand less constant attention. Blue is supposed to help them make a decision.

Juyeon’s Uber driver arrives, ready to take him to the airport, and he says his goodbyes.

“Have fun! We’ll take care of the baby!” Eric says, tiptoeing to pull him into a bear hug.

“If you find a summer romance, I wanna be the first to know,” Hyunjun smirks.

Blue doesn’t acknowledge he’s going away, instead focused on smelling a stray cat surrounding her. 

Juyeon smiles at that. Fortunately, he has raised an independent young cat who needs no owner, she shouldn’t be too hard to be taken care of.

The drive to the airport is silent and finding Jaehyun is quite easy, since he’s wearing a bright yellow shirt with a pink flower print over it and short shorts. When he spots Juyeon, he grins, bright and open, tackles him into a clumsy hug since he’s carrying his own bags with him. “I’m so glad you finally decided to come!”

“Hyunjunie wouldn’t stop pestering me,” Juyeon says, not at all annoyed.

Jaehyun chuckles. “I love that kid so much.”

“Where are your friends, though?” Juyeon asks. 

(Jaehyun had told him about his friends who would be with them throughout the trip. There’s Changmin, a smiley dancer who claimed he could talk to ghosts and had a really strong alcohol tolerance. There’s Sangyeon, an accountant obsessed with dick jokes and playing pranks in general. Lastly, there’s Jacob, a softspoken singer-songwriter who is, apparently, the love of Jaehyun’s life. They don’t seem like bad people, even though Juyeon is an introvert and takes long to be comfortable with people he doesn’t know as a rule of thumb. Jaehyun assures him he’ll love them.)

“Oh, did I not tell you? Their flight is only tomorrow! It’ll be only me and you tonight, handsome,” Jaehyun winks goofily at him. “Unless my other friend, who actually lives there, decides to come over. He’s fun, you’ll like him too, everyone does.”

He hadn’t mentioned this other friend, but Juyeon doesn’t mind it too much. What’s one more stranger? 

.

It’s a smooth flight, lasts less than an hour, and Juyeon sleeps like a rock for most of it.

He hadn’t realized how exhausted he was, how badly he needed to close his eyes and think of nothing, until Jaehyun shook him awake after they landed. He has been sleeping four to five hours a day, and even then it seems like his mind won’t detach from his worries. He hadn’t been able to just sleep, without dreams and lingering thoughts, in a while, and that made him think maybe Hyunjun was right and he did need a break. 

The house is beautiful, even prettier than the pictures. There’s a huge painting in the living room that catches Juyeon’s attention, one showing a group of friends gathered around a fireplace, playing around at a beach after dark. The figures, although only illuminated by the glowing full moon and the flickering flames, seem alive, bright. It’s odd, since it’s a piece that doesn’t have any ambitions of looking realistic — looks like it’s taken out of a Ghibli movie, really, and yet…

“You like that?” Jaehyun asks, running his fingers through the frame. “There’s a story behind it.”

Even though his friends often describe him as an incurable workaholic, Juyeon often indulges in his appreciation of the arts whenever he wants to clear his mind from worries. He likes uniqueness and creativity, in whatever shape it may come. “What story?”

“Once, Jacob brought a friend of his here,” Jaehyun’s expression brightens, whatever memories he’s thinking of must be happy ones. “An artist, also from Canada, stayed here for a week. We were going through rough times in our lives, all of us, and we saw that small summer trip as a chance to escape. Changmin suggested we’d have a beach party, like the ones in movies, and we sat around the fire and talked about nothing and everything until sunrise. I was drunk as hell and asked Kevin, the artist, to paint his happiest memory from the trip so I could hang it in the living room. I paid him for it, and here it is.”

Jaehyun has this thing, Juyeon has noticed, of turning every single place he goes to a little bit like home. He doesn't even realize he's doing it, but even this place doesn't feel as impersonal as beach houses usually do, with pictures of his family and souvenirs of places he's traveled to sitting on shelves. "He's really talented."

"He is, isn't he?" Jaehyun wraps an arm around Juyeon's shoulders while he observes the painting. "C'mon, let's go upstairs and unpack, I'll show you your room."

Jaehyun tells him he'll room with Changmin, who's more on the quieter side but still sociable enough to be accommodating. Juyeon likes his room, likes how airy and simple it is, wooden furniture and a balcony that gives him a beautiful view of the ocean from across the street. He opens his luggage and unpacks methodically, folding each piece of clothing and putting them on the drawers, trying to not use much space. 

He's too concentrated on his task to notice the approaching footsteps until he hears a cheerful voice chirp behind him. "Hello!"

Juyeon turns around and sees a guy beaming at him, standing at the door. He has a youthful face, pink round cheeks rising as he smiles, and is more on the short side. He's pretty, his features a mix of soft curves and sharp edges.

"Hi…?" Juyeon replies, confused. Jaehyun told him his friends would only come tomorrow, unless… "Are you Jaehyun hyung's friend who lives here?"

"Yes, sir," the guy walks inside the room with the practiced ease of someone who's been there before. "I'm Haknyeon! And you must be Juyeon, the one who always bails."

Juyeon frowns at the description. "He makes me sound terrible."

"The opposite, actually," Haknyeon clarifies. "He speaks so highly of you, it made me wonder why you never came here."

"I'm… really busy with work," Juyeon flinches, realizing he'll make himself sound boring, too strict, in front of this man who seems to be freshness personified. 

Haknyeon doesn't seem to judge him, though, his smile never faltering. "What do you do?"

"I work as a manager in a trading company," Juyeon answers, since he's already dug his hole for himself, might as well lie in it. "I have lots of responsibilities to tend to, so there's not a lot of time for breaks."

"I see," Haknyeon says, sitting on a chair lying around the room. "Well, I'm glad you found the time to come this time around! I'll give you the best Jeju Island tour you'll have in your life, trust me."

He says it with such certainty Juyeon feels inclined to believe him. Before he can state that, Jaehyun runs into the room and pulls Haknyeon into a bear hug.

"You little shit!" Jaehyun swears, voice dripping with affection. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming!"

Haknyeon is grinning, now, his pearly white teeth almost casting light on the room on their own. "I allowed myself to drop by uninvited," Haknyeon unwraps himself from the brutal embrace. "If you told me your friend was this handsome, I'd have dressed up better."

Juyeon knows he's handsome, he's been told that enough times to be aware of it, and in any other context he'd preen at the praise and the attention, but those words coming from Haknyeon make him inexplicably flustered. 

Jaehyun laughs. "You look fine, Romeo. What are the plans for today?"

"So, I was thinking," Haknyeon starts, bringing a hand to his chin. "We should wait for everyone else before we do anything too big, so I was thinking of giving you guys time to settle and then take you to a bar that opened recently! There's a singer who works there and she's my friend and she's super talented, and the food is great too. Sounds good?"

"I'm down," Jaehyun says, already sounding excited. "Juyeonie? Would that be okay with you?"

Haknyeon looks at him, expectant.

Juyeon shrugs. He wouldn't be strong enough to say no, even if he tried. "Sure."

.

Juyeon never thought he was lacking in friends.

Quality is better than quantity in his book, and he's perfectly content with the social circle he has. With Hyunjun and Eric waltzing inside his apartment as if it was theirs and playing with his cat and giving him advice he didn't ask for. With Jaehyun being a constant, reliable presence, a phone call away whenever Juyeon felt lonely. Drinking with his fellow managers, the kind ones, and gossiping with his interns, who have elected him as their favorite supervisor.

However, after seeing Haknyeon in action, Juyeon might have to reevaluate that.

From the very first moment they step into the bar, it’s like hanging out with a celebrity. People stop on their tracks to greet him, from fellow customers to members of the staff, as if they’ve known him for ages. Juyeon is introduced to so many people it makes his head spin: most of the names escape him as soon as he's heard them. He remembers Dayoung, the singer, a charming blonde with an interesting sense of humor and a beautiful voice, who makes fun of Haknyeon in a practiced way that implies they're more than casual friends. They seem close.

Juyeon won't ask how far that closeness extends, because it's none of his business. He spends most of his time either locked inside his office mediating interactions between rich old men or teaching his fresh-out-of-college interns the dos and don'ts of the life they chose to live. He's far from an expert in telling the difference between platonic interactions and romantic ones, so he'll keep quiet despite wanting to know. Out of curiosity.

Thankfully, Jaehyun exists, with no qualms about being nosy. "So, you and Dayoung…"

"Just friends," Haknyeon says, right off the bat, as if he’s heard the same question a thousand times before. “I’d tell you if I was seeing someone, you know.”

Jaehyun scoffs. “You better! I deserve more respect than that, I practically raised you.”

“How did you guys meet?” Juyeon asks, partly to ignore this odd feeling of relief settling on his stomach after knowing Haknyeon’s single. 

“We went to the same high school, ages ago,” Jaehyun explains. “I had no intentions of keeping in touch with anyone after graduating, but…”

“You love me,” Haknyeon bats his eyelashes at him, his tone affected.

“I love your cooking skills,” Jaehyun retorts, laughing. “And your pretty big sister who I will one day marry.”

“Over my dead body,” Haknyeon enunciates each word with exaggerated emphasis. “I’m telling Jacob hyung.”

Juyeon watches their exchange like a tennis match. There’s such warmth behind their words, a brand of easy, friendly affection he misses more than he thought. He wouldn’t say he hates his job, he enjoys even the most boring parts of it and the sensation of feeling productive, but his overall environment is cold and ruthless, demands of him to be harsh, to be neutral, to be competitive, to fight tooth and nail to survive. 

There are no demands of the sort here. No demands at all. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. 

“Hey,” Haknyeon puts a hand on his knee, eyes big and concerned and too close for comfort. “Are you alright?”

Juyeon blinks. “Um, sure. Why?”

“I asked what you wanted to drink,” Haknyeon replies with a chuckle. “If you wanna eat anything other than fried chicken, too. It’s on me.”

Jaehyun whistles. “You better take advantage of that, Juyeonie. Hak never opens his wallet.”

“Don’t listen to him, hyung. I’m very charitable,” Haknyeon says, speaking through a pout. “Hold on. Mina?”

One of the waitresses, who was picking up some empty cups on the table behind them, snaps her head in their direction. She runs her hands through her short black hair, exasperated, a look of someone about to be roped into nonsense. “Yes, Haknyeon?”

“Don’t you think I’m charitable?” Haknyeon asks, his hands on his waist.

“I won’t lie on your name,” Mina says, matter-of-factly. “No. But you’re not stingy, either.”

“Ha! On your face!” Haknyeon points at Jaehyun then turns to Juyeon. “Seriously, though. I wanna treat you to your first night in my hometown. You’re on your own the rest of the week.”

“I wouldn’t have expected anything else,” Juyeon says. He can’t stop smiling.

.

It’s a good night.

Haknyeon orders them three rounds of craft beer on fancy glasses and Jaehyun insists on paying for their fried chicken and his own bottle of soju. Whenever Juyeon goes out for drinks with his coworkers he’s always the designated driver, the one who pulls Yejin’s hair back as she pukes out her stomach’s contents on a dingy bathroom bar, the one who brings Minho to his apartment because he forgot his wallet somewhere and can’t pay for a cab. Juyeon doesn’t allow himself to loosen up in these scenarios, because who’s going to take care of everyone if he decides to be too self-indulgent?

Today, though, it happens without him noticing. And he blames Haknyeon.

Jaehyun, as loud and boisterous as he is among people he’s close to, is an easily flustered introvert. His work environment is also one that asks for a certain level of ice on his veins, his fight for fairness not an easy one to win, and he’s overall a private person. Whoever he chooses to love, he does it without hesitating, without bounds, a nurturer to his core, but his warmth isn’t one that shows itself right away. 

Haknyeon is… different. There’s something about him — about his bad jokes, about how he listens to whatever Juyeon has to say with genuine interest, about him introducing them to his friends and acquaintances so they could feel as comfortable around these near-strangers as he does. There’s something about how easy it is to laugh around him, to let your walls down and have fun. 

Juyeon is restrained, a choice he’s made for himself years ago, one he doesn’t regret. Haknyeon, on the other hand, seems carefree in the purest of ways and that makes Juyeon’s head spin. 

So he drinks. He lets the constant blabbering of his conscience become white noise and surrenders to the pleasant buzz of alcohol. 

They leave the bar before midnight, because Jaehyun insists he’ll need energy to welcome his other friends and, more importantly, he won’t be seeing Jacob for the first time in months without a full eight hours of beauty sleep. They walk to the house, their main topic of conversation being whether you should dip or pour your sauce, and Haknyeon stops just before they get to the front door.

“Actually,” he says, staring into the distance. “I think I’ll stay outside a little longer. I’m not too sleepy yet.”

Jaehyun squints at him, as if trying to evaluate how drunk he is. “You have the keys with you?” 

“Yup, they’re in here,” Haknyeon answers, patting his left pocket. 

Jaehyun yawns, rubs his eyes with the back of his hands. “Okay, I’m going to bed. Don’t wander off too far and call me if you need anything.”

“I’ll just walk around the beach,” Haknyeon turns to Juyeon, a tentative smile on his face. “Wanna come?”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows raise almost up to his hairline. Juyeon should say no — he’s a little tired from the trip and he hasn’t had a decent night of sleep in ages. Plus, he doesn’t trust his brain-to-mouth filter when he’s drunk, trusts it even less when he’s around Haknyeon.

Juyeon doesn’t say no. Instead, he buries his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and says: “Sure.”

“Alright,” Jaehyun says, stopping at the porch. “Have fun. And behave.” 

He directs that part to Haknyeon, who flashes him a smirk of someone who never has the intention of behaving, ever. “When do I not?"

Juyeon feels goosebumps rising on his skin. He blames the weather — it can get windy on the seaside at night. 

Haknyeon, oblivious, links arms with Juyeon as they cross the empty street and looks up at him, an odd sparkle in his eyes. “Is that alright? It’s for balance.”

Juyeon hopes it’s dark enough to hide his — silly, stupid, pathetic — blush. “Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks,” Haknyeon says, a loose drunken smile on his lips. “I get really clumsy when I drink. That’s not even a line, seriously, once I was at the bar and after drinking my ass off I tried to walk Dayoung home. Guess what happened.”

Juyeon chuckles. “You fell?”

“Flat on my ass. In the middle of the sidewalk,” Haknyeon confirms. “She makes fun of me ever since. My ego never recovered. What kinda drunk are you?”

Juyeon hums in thought. “I don’t drink often enough to have a pattern. Sometimes I get too honest, like my mouth’s moving faster than my brain.”

“That’s me while sober,” Haknyeon giggles. “So if we keep walking, I might be able to pry some secrets out of you?”

There’s something about how he says it, a slow heat behind his words that makes Juyeon’s heart skip a beat. “You might. They’re not that interesting, though. My friends say I’m kinda boring.”

“If anything, you’re delightfully boring,” Haknyeon says. Despite looking younger than he is, his voice has a raspy quality to it, which is as charming as the rest of him. “Boring with a twist.”

“That makes me feel so much better,” Juyeon replies, purposefully putting no emotion behind his voice.

Haknyeon cackles at that, a sound as contagious as an earworm pop song, playing inside your brain over and over despite your own wishes. “Hey, should we go sit closer to the sea? My legs are already tired.” 

Juyeon complies. He sits on the sand despite the fact he’s wearing jeans, feels it soft and real under his fingertips, the coming and going of the waves serving as a soothing background noise. He watches Haknyeon sitting by his side, his smooth skin glowing under the moonlight. He tilts his head to the side, makes a satisfied noise coming from the back of his throat, closes his eyes, the sea breeze brushing his black hair away from his forehead. 

Juyeon allows himself to stare. A rare self-indulgence.

Up close, Haknyeon’s lips are so pretty it’s disconcerting. They’re curled upwards in a faint smile, plump and a pale shade of pink, the round curve on his cupid’s bow so pronounced Juyeon feels the urge to trace it with his fingers, brush his lower lip with his thumb, see if it’s as soft as it looks. Haknyeon’s lashes are pretty too, as dark as his hair, small and thick, and they flutter as he opens his eyes and catches Juyeon looking. 

His smile widens, the cat who got the cream. “Hey.”

Juyeon laughs, a flustered little thing. “Hi.”

“Back in high school, I asked Jaehyun hyung if there were any beaches I could go to and he took me to the one closest to us,” Haknyeon says, unprompted. “I thought I’d feel less homesick.”

This moment feels very important. Juyeon thinks of a door opening. “Did you?” 

Haknyeon shakes his head. “There’s something different about this beach. This sand. This part of the sea. I was wondering if you could feel it, too.”

“It’s calming,” Juyeon muses, honest and tipsy. “But it also feels really alive.”

He’s ready to mentally berate himself for such a stupid statement, but then Haknyeon looks at him with that same sparkle on his eyes. “Exactly.”

The sparkle that looks like interest. Attraction, even. 

Juyeon doesn’t want to assume, though. Inside the office, he can tell when a supplier is bluffing, when a superior feels insulted and wants their ego stroked, the subtle side-eye of employees that tell whether they like their boss or not, what they do when they’re reaching a point in their ambition where they’re cunning instead of hardworking. He’s been trained to notice those social cues — the ones involving romance, involving flirting, not so much. With someone as receptive and friendly as Haknyeon, it’s even worse.

Juyeon needs a game plan. Maybe he’ll observe how Haknyeon acts around the others tomorrow. He’s scared of asking Jaehyun and getting teased to hell and back, but if his observational skills fail him, he’ll do it.

Haknyeon leans against him, a slight movement he probably hasn’t even noticed he’s done. “Can I ask you something? Call it innocent curiosity.”

“Sure,” Juyeon says, bracing himself.

“Do you have… a special someone to go back to?” Haknyeon asks, and he actually looks sheepish, self-conscious. “A girlfriend? A boyfriend? A partner? A dog?”

Innocent curiosity. Juyeon feels his chest tingling. “No, none of the above. I have a cat, but she doesn’t really care about me.”

“Aw, I’m sure that’s not true,” Haknyeon giggles. “What’s her name?”

“Blue.”

Haknyeon tuts. “Creative.”

“To be fair,” Juyeon defends himself. “My younger brother named her. After a Pokémon character, apparently? And I like the color, so it was settled. We found her on the streets when she was a kitten, she was following us everywhere. I’ve had her for four years, now.”

“That explains everything,” Haknyeon says. “She doesn’t hate you, she’s just a moody teenager.”

“I hope so,” Juyeon says. He misses her lots already. “What about you?”

“I don’t hate you either.”

“Don’t act dense,” Juyeon sighs, exasperatedly fond. “Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Animal?”

“I live on a farm, hyung. There’s a shit ton of animals. No significant others, though,” Haknyeon sends him a cheeky wink. “Free as a bird.”

Juyeon could reply. Could do more than reply, even. Could do what he’s been thinking of since he’s laid eyes on Haknyeon for the first time, if he’s being honest with himself.

However. 

Juyeon doesn’t want to be presumptuous. Doesn’t want his impulses to get the best of him. They just met and Haknyeon seems to be Juyeon’s exact antithesis in all the ways that matter. So.

(You know what people say about opposites.)

He lets things be as they are, for now.

.

The beach is different during the day.

Jaehyun’s friends arrived early in the morning, with enough enthusiasm to power batteries. Haknyeon cooks them breakfast while Juyeon gets introduced to the whole crew — Changmin, a dimpled dancer with a knack for all things out of the ordinary. Jacob, Jaehyun’s favorite, with long-ish blonde hair and a sunny smile, clutching his guitar against his chest like it’s his personal shield. Sangyeon, with a strong handshake and easy laughter, who works in an accounting firm and makes music on the side. 

Younghoon is the last one of them, a full-fledged actor, tall and ridiculously good-looking, sunglasses sitting on top of his head. He wasn’t supposed to come because of his filming schedule but some things got switched up last minute, giving him time to visit for the weekend at least. Jaehyun teases him, says he’ll end up sleeping on the couch if he shows up without warning next time. They eat, change out of their airport clothes and make their way to the beach.

It’s hot, the summer winds barely enough to stop the heat, and hectic. Children running around, giggling and yelling as they splash their parents with water, and groups of teenagers talking over each other. Sangyeon is roasting meat on the barbecue he brought from home, humming along to a playlist he curated. Juyeon is sitting under an umbrella nearby, scrolling through his phone, checking for any updates. Blue seems to be fine, judging by the videos Eric sent him, and there is no news on his email or work group chat. He almost texts Soeun to ask if anything important happened, but a voice inside his head that sounds like Hyunjun stops him from doing so. It’s only been a day.

So, unbidden, his eyes find Haknyeon. 

He has the makings of a social butterfly, adapting to whichever environment he is: he was quiet, yesterday, paying attention to whatever Juyeon had to say and keeping the conversation going at a calm pace. Now, around his friends, he speaks faster, louder, holds onto them when they're talking and cracks bad jokes nonstop. Him, Jaehyun and Changmin are in the water, apparently on an impromptu swimming contest, while Younghoon sunbathes and Jacob keeps Sangyeon company. 

“Hey,” Jacob nudges Younghoon with his feet. “Put on some sunscreen.”

“Don’t wanna,” Younghoon replies, leaning against his beach chair. “I’m gonna go back home with a nice tan.”

“You’ll go back home with a sunstroke if you keep this up,” Sangyeon says. He’s roasting chicken, too, and sausages. For Changmin, who’s recently decided to become a vegetarian, they made grilled cheese.

“Not to meddle,” Juyeon starts, already meddling. “But aren’t you filming something right now? Is it okay for your character if you get a suntan?”

Younghoon shrugs. “No one told me I couldn’t. Besides, there’s always makeup.”

“Yeah, but…” Jacob trails off when he sees the other three coming back from the water. Haknyeon is brushing his hair back, a grin frozen on his face, teasing Changmin about something - he's probably won their little race. Jaehyun reaches them first, stopping right next to Sangyeon, and Jacob grabs the opportunity. "Jaehyun, sort this out."

"Not him," Younghoon protests, hands on his waist. "He's compromised."

"Why am I compromised?" Jaehyun frowns, confused. "That smells good, hyung."

Sangyeon grins at him, seeming to have mastered the art of minding his business whenever his friends are like this. “Thanks, man.”

“He likes you,” Younghoon gestures at Jacob’s general direction. “Better than us.”

“Well, duh,” Jaehyun says. Juyeon, not for the first time, commends his dedication and lack of shame. “But I’m not compromised. That’s dramatic. I’m, if anything, a little biased.” 

Juyeon is about to ignore their bickering and open his book when Haknyeon sits next to him, stretches on the beach towel he’s brought from home. He’s wearing his swimming trunks so it’s remarkably easy to focus on the curve of his shoulders, the dip on his collarbone, his muscular arms, his chest, his thighs. Juyeon’s cheeks burn with shame for letting his eyes wander too much and he hopes the shadow the umbrella is casting over him is enough to hide his ogling.

Despite his boyish looks, Haknyeon mentioned he works at his parents’ farm, and his tasks include both management skills and physical labour. It wouldn’t make sense if he wasn’t at least a little built. It’s not like he’s the only one, either — Jacob is pretty fit, and Sangyeon looks like he’d rather die than miss a leg day at the gym. None of them have made Juyeon blush like a schoolgirl, though. That’s concerning. 

Haknyeon, sweet and clueless, turns to him. His skin seems to glisten under the sunlight. “Are we boring you, hyung?”

Juyeon lets out a nervous laugh. You have no idea. "No, I just like reading on the beach. But it's too hot for me to think."

"Plus we're loud as hell," Haknyeon nudges him with his shoulder. "C'mon, you can admit it. It's just you and me."

He's right. Changmin is spreading sunscreen on Younghoon's back, Jaehyun is wearing Jacob's hat and sunglasses while scolding Sangyeon for the lack of sausages. There's an innuendo there somewhere when Jacob claims to not care about sausages so much, Jaehyun makes a face and Sangyeon roars with laughter. 

Juyeon snorts. "Fine, I admit. That is breaking my concentration, too."

"Good," Haknyeon says, his usual bright grin fading and giving way to something more charged. "I don't wanna share your attention with Mary Shelley."

Juyeon's throat feels dry. "Um, you won't have to. She's dead."

He wants to shove his head under the sand with that, because really, when did he become so rusty? However, Haknyeon cackles, nearly rolling into the sand. "God, you think I'm so stupid!"

Juyeon sputters, taken aback. "No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do," Haknyeon retorts, a teasing lilt in his voice. "You're the smart office worker and I'm the silly farm boy. That's what you think."

"I seriously don't," Juyeon says. A part of him is aware he's being made fun of, but he always scrambles to clear any misunderstandings, just in case. "I was joking, but even if I wasn't, you don't have to know who a foreign author is!"

"It's alright," Haknyeon puts a strand of his hair behind his ear and smiles coyly. "I can play dumb if that's what you're into."

Juyeon groans, ignoring the heat pooling at the tip of his stomach. "Now you're just giving me a hard time."

Haknyeon throws his hands in the air in mock surrender. "Okay, okay, I'll stop. But seriously, though, what are you into?"

"That's a vague question."

"I mean your type, hyung. What kinds of people do you feel drawn to, usually?"

Juyeon thinks. He's never given much thought to whether his significant others of the past followed a pattern. He's dated a lot of girls in high school with different body types and hair styles and personalities and one singular guy, a lithe, careful, secretly affectionate dancer. As different from Haknyeon as the day is from the night.

So Juyeon shakes his head. "I don't think I have one. I like who I like and that's it."

"So true," Haknyeon gives him a long, unreadable stare, his eyes shining with amusement. 

Juyeon does not blush again, but it's a near thing.

.

After the trip and a long day at the beach, they’re tired enough to make their plans for the evening a less chaotic ordeal. 

There’s food — kimchi pancakes with rice, plus a couple snacks Jacob and Changmin bought on their quick grocery run. Sangyeon and Younghoon were responsible for handling the booze, came home holding two packs of beer and a bottle of flavored vodka. Jaehyun went on a quest to find board games in his basement, only found a dusty Ouija board and an UNO deck. And Juyeon handled the cooking aspect of it, with Haknyeon helping him around the kitchen and crooning “yes, chef!” everytime Juyeon asked him to do something. It was as infuriating as it was cute.

“This is really good,” Changmin compliments, munching on one of the pancakes. He’s claimed earlier he eats for survival, not so much because he gets any pleasure or satisfaction on doing it, so Juyeon can’t help but feel elated at the praise. “Where did you learn to cook like that?”

Juyeon scratches the back of his head. “When I moved out of my parents’ house? I had a roommate in college that didn’t cook at all, so I went on video calls with my mom and she’d teach me how to do stuff.”

“I wish I could cook more,” Sangyeon comments after downing a soju shot and not even frowning. Wow. “Even if I wasn’t shit at it, I never have time. I come home from work and all I wanna do is sleep, so I resort to cup noodles. And protein shakes.”

Juyeon was scared, once, when his work schedule started getting heavier, that cooking would soon take up too much of his time and energy. He never stopped finding the process fun, though — choosing the ingredients, following recipes, it adds to his otherwise arduous routine a time to think and experiment with new dishes and tastes. Also, with Eric and Hyunjun now a fixture in his life, his ego appreciates the little noises of approval they make while tasting his food. 

“Your eating habits are garbage,” Jaehyun deadpans, putting the Ouija board on top of the coffee table. “So, who wants to talk to the dead?”

Changmin cheers. “Me!”

“Count me out,” Jacob says from where he’s sitting on the couch, beer in one hand, a chocopie in the other. 

“Me too,” Younghoon agrees.

Haknyeon giggles. “Are you scared, hyung? We went to that haunted house the other day!”

“That’s different. Haunted houses are silly, made by humans,” Younghoon looks down at the board and scrunches his nose in disapproval. “This is some supernatural stuff. I’m not fucking with the dead.”

Sangyeon nods. “He’s right. What if we get cursed by an angry ghost?”

“Okay, let’s solve this like a democracy,” Jaehyun puts his hands on his waist. “Me, Changmin and Haknyeon say we should talk to some spirits. Jacob, Younghoon and Sangyeon hyung say we shouldn’t. Juyeonie, you’re the tie-breaker.”

What he feared the most.

Listen, Juyeon isn’t one of those so-called manly men. He’s not. He doesn’t care about wearing pink, doesn’t mind seeming delicate, using makeup or painting his nails. He also has never been one for horror movies, hates jumpscares with a fiery passion, didn’t sleep for a week after watching the Freddy Krueger franchise when he was younger, would rather never contact the dead if he could avoid it. He doesn’t usually mind revealing those facts to others, knowing they more often than not share his opinion. 

However, on the receiving end of Changmin and Haknyeon’s expectant stares, he feels like his fears are childish. He’s too prideful and he doesn’t want to be made fun of about this, doesn’t want to get the scaredy cat reputation. Maybe he should drink more. “Um, I—”

“You know what?” Haknyeon cuts him off before he could say anything. “I had a better idea.”

A small act of mercy, Juyeon considers.

“What’s better than talking to dead people?” Changmin whines.

Haknyeon beams at them. “Getting wasted!”

A very small act of mercy. He, of course, suggests Never Have I Ever, and everyone agrees. 

It’s a fun game. If you’re the adventurous type, you get to share absurd stories with your closest friends. If you’re more of an introvert, you can listen to everyone else exposing themselves and gather future teasing material. Their questions start tame, because they didn't want to scare Juyeon right away, and then take a riskier turn. According to their answers, all of them have drunk enough to black out except for Juyeon, all of them have had sex with another man except for Sangyeon, all of them tried weed before except for Jacob, all of them have kissed a man and none of them have had a threesome (“For now!” Changmin bellows). 

Hours go by with them switching between harmless and heavily sexual questions, sharing anecdotes and making fun of one another. Juyeon doesn't remember the last time he had fun like this, belly-laughed until his cheeks hurt. He’s been getting along with Changmin in particular, finding out they have a similar sense of humor, a nice back-and-forth that turns louder and more chaotic by the amount of shots they get. 

They’re all in varying degrees of drunkenness, with Haknyeon taking the lead, his pink cheeks buried on Sangyeon’s bicep as he slurs out a song request for Jacob.

He hasn’t done as much as send Juyeon a glance ever since the game started. Which is not bothering him at all — he’s a grown man and he knows how to take an unspoken loss. He’s just drunk too much and he misses the undivided attention Haknyeon was giving him yesterday. He misses his casual touches and seeing his pretty smile up-close.

It’s best to not delve on that, though. Jacob is strumming his guitar and singing SNSD’s Way To Go, his voice cracking with enthusiasm; Jaehyun is giving him heart eyes, Haknyeon and Changmin are yelling the fanchant, Sangyeon is mimicking a fan fainting from emotion. Time goes by in a flash and soon enough Juyeon sees himself alone washing the dishes — everyone else was too drunk to be trusted around anything breakable and he needed something to do with his hands anyway. 

It has been a while since he last felt jealousy. He has forgotten how much of a nonsensical emotion it is, even more in this situation. He has known Haknyeon for the entirety of two days and other than some harmless flirting, he has done nothing for Juyeon to demand any exclusivity from him. Sangyeon is handsome, he knows, and leads his life as a busy office worker lightheartedly, which Juyeon has always failed to achieve. And Haknyeon… He carries himself in such an easy manner, grinning and cracking jokes and acting like the world is his oyster, it’s only fair that’s what he looks for in someone to pursue romantically.

Juyeon needs to focus on the real reason he came here — relax, unwind and come back to work with a sharper mind. Anything else is irrelevant.

.

His resolve crumbles quicker than a house of cards, as soon as Haknyeon tugs on his sleeves in the morning and announces he’ll steal Juyeon away for a private schedule. 

There’s not a single person sitting around the breakfast table whose eyes don’t widen — except Changmin, who wiggles his eyebrows at him suggestively, and Jaehyun, who lets out a startled, loud laugh. Juyeon blushes redder than the spicy stewed fish Sangyeon is devouring at the moment. 

“You people are rotten,” Haknyeon sniffs, a smart little smile tugging at his lips. “I wanna take you horseback riding, hyung. That’s all.” 

“Why not take everyone else?” Juyeon asks, then realizes a beat too late how that could’ve sounded. Rude, like he doesn’t want to go, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. 

Haknyeon’s excitement doesn’t falter, though. “They’ve done it already! And there’s not enough horses back at the farm for everyone, so. Does that sound interesting enough?”

Juyeon doesn’t say anywhere with Haknyeon as company would be interesting, because that would be overkill. Instead, he nods and takes a sip of orange juice. He dresses according to what Google told him is decent attire for horseback riding, with jeans and a fitted shirt which won’t get tangled on the horse’s equipment, and hopes there’s a helmet and boots waiting for him at the farm. While they’re on the bus and Haknyeon is chatting excitedly with someone on the phone, Juyeon texts his neighbors.

Juyeon Lee: Hey everyone

Juyeon Lee: Is everything alright?

Hyunjun: is that the question you really wanna ask

Juyeon Lee: Fine

Juyeon Lee: How’s my baby doing???

Hyunjun: she’s doing stellar

Hyunjun: she loves us

Eric: i tried to cuddle her and she scratched my face :((

Hyunjun: queen

Juyeon Lee: Oh yeah she doesn’t like that

Juyeon Lee: No cuddling

Juyeon Lee: Is she eating properly??

Eric: yup! everything’s fine 

Eric: she’s eating and drinking water and sleeping nicely

Eric: healthier than i am really lmao

Hyunjun: worry about yourself

Hyunjun: any fun adventures? hot guys?

Juyeon Lee: It’s complicated

Eric: OOOOOOH

Eric: TELL US TELL US

Juyeon Lee: Can’t tell rn

Eric: BOOOO

Hyunjun: i agree. boo

Juyeon Lee: It’s a long story and I’m on the bus I’ll tell you later

Juyeon Lee: I’m about to go horseback riding

Eric: ahhh sounds cool!!

Eric: have fun!!!

Hyunjun: don’t die!!!

Eric: if you get a new boyfriend make sure he likes cats

Eric: or else we’re taking blue with us 

A silly part of Juyeon’s brain pictures a meeting between Haknyeon and his cat, unwavering eagerness meeting unmoving nonchalance, and he laughs to himself. 

Haknyeon notices it and nudges his shoulders. “What are you giggling at?”

“I’m thinking about my cat,” Juyeon answers, which isn’t a lie. “She scratched my neighbor’s face.”

“She sounds like a fierce girl,” Haknyeon says, appreciatively. “Has she ever scratched you?”

Juyeon shakes his head. Blue isn’t particularly feisty or closed off around him — she likes to keep to herself unless he looks too tired or upset, then she climbs onto his lap and nuzzles his face as a way to comfort him. It always works, to the point he often jokes he doesn’t need a therapist when his cat reads his moods so well. “Not that I remember.”

Haknyeon whistles, impressed. “Animals must like you.”

Juyeon doesn’t deny it, because he never had reason to think otherwise. Darong, Jaehyun’s old dog who’s most of the time scared of his own shadow around strangers, likes Juyeon to give him belly rubs, which must be a sign of trust in some way. Plus, he’s the only one Woonggi’s pet turtle hasn’t bitten during work parties. “They kinda do.”

“Nice,” Haknyeon grins sunnily at him. “Mom tells me they’re the best judges of character.”

Juyeon’s heart skips a beat. That’s what he was missing, he realizes now, the warmth of Haknyeon’s gaze, the thrill running under Juyeon’s skin as he wonders, wonders, hopes. They arrive at their stop around an hour later, and their walk to the stables is filled with comfortable silence that Haknyeon breaks once in a while to share short childhood anecdotes. The one time he tried to climb up the tall tree near his house at age seven and saw his parents having sex through the bedroom window, the time he was three and running away from his babysitter and ended up falling face first on a pile of cow poop, the time he was around fourteen and wore one of his sister’s dresses because he made a bet with Dayoung that he totally could convince the neighboring farmers he’s a little girl. His unusual coming out story, when he was around ten and burst inside the house with the lollipop ring Seungkwan gave him for his birthday and told his mom, very solemnly, that meant they were husbands now. 

“Ah, am I talking to a married man?” Juyeon jokes.

“We had an unfortunate divorce a few months later, after I caught him giving an orange lollipop ring to a guy from the cross country team,” Haknyeon pouts. “I ended up kissing them both in the locker room when we got to high school, though, so it all ended well.”

Juyeon’s laughter is laced with amusement. “You’re something else.”

“So I’ve been told,” Haknyeon smirks as they step into the stables. He gives Juyeon the proper equipment and attire and introduces him to the horses. Ginger, described by Haknyeon as his lifelong companion, is a chestnut mare who seems docile and lets out an excited puff of air when she sees him. 

“I missed you too, baby,” Haknyeon pats her affectionately and moves on to the other horse, the one he must expect Juyeon to ride, a tall, muscular, watchful, terrifying stallion, his golden fur glinting under the sunlight, his long mane a lighter, platinum shade. “This is Honey. Say hi.”

“Honey?” Juyeon chokes out, near-hysterical. “You named him Honey?”

“Honeydew, actually, but he has many nicknames. My younger sister calls him Horse King, my older sister calls him Grumpy and I call him Honey, because he’s such a sweetheart, aren’t you, buddy?” Haknyeon rubs Honey’s neck, unbothered, and the horse answers with a noncommittal sigh. 

Juyeon gulps down. He stares at Honey, takes in his towering height and his sharp almond eyes and his kingly posture and Juyeon swears the goddamn horse gives him a look, as if he can’t believe someone would let this pathetic excuse of a man ride him. Juyeon must be truly going mad from spending too many hours at the office because he can’t believe he’s feeling this intimidated by a horse. 

Right on cue, Haknyeon cackles, clutching at his belly. “God, hyung, your face! I can’t do this.”

Juyeon glares at him, annoyed and confused. “What’s so funny?”

Haknyeon laughs even harder. “I’m not letting you ride Honey, silly. He is a sweetheart but he’s picky, gets annoyed too easily. The first-timers usually do better with Ginger.”

Juyeon tilts his head to the side. He lets Haknyeon help him settle comfortably on the saddle and Ginger, true to Haknyeon’s words, waits patiently for Juyeon to stop moving and grab a hold of the reins. “Usually?”

“Sangyeon hyung insisted he should ride Honey instead. Said I was too small for a horse this big, even after I warned him,” Haknyeon snickers. He hoists himself up with trained ease and Honey lets out a peeved little noise but doesn’t fidget much. Haknyeon kisses his forehead. “He lasted less than five minutes.”

“I guess it’s you and me, then,” Juyeon grimaces at Ginger and she snorts. He has a feeling she’s either reassuring him or making fun of him — and she truly takes after Haknyeon, which is an observation that should not make Juyeon’s chest bloom with fondness the way it does.

.

Horseback riding is, as it turns out, incredible.

After Haknyeon relays a few basic instructions, Ginger takes off without warning and Juyeon yelps at the suddenness of it but then calms down as she picks up a stable pace, galloping happily around the field with Honey and Haknyeon right next to them. Juyeon would compare the whole thing to riding a bicycle — in the sense that he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget this feeling, the wind blowing on his face, the ragged leather of the reins under his fingertips, the smell of fresh fruit around him, the sun hitting his back —, yet he’s too aware of how alive Ginger feels under him to compare her to anything other than herself.

He’s deeply engrossed in his own experience, euphoric with adrenaline, grinning like a madman as Ginger goes faster. However, when he sees Haknyeon, he has his eyes almost fluttering shut, his face serious yet peaceful, and for a second it seems like Honey is guiding him: even better, like they’re the same entity, brave and calm and golden and beautiful. 

Juyeon cannot remember the last time he ever felt so free.

They only bring the horses back to the stables when their bellies start rumbling, and Juyeon feels silly but he does take the time to thank Ginger for the ride even though he’s aware she cannot understand him, which in turn makes Haknyeon tease him mercilessly. They have something simple for lunch — there was frozen pizza in the fridge and considering the very full breakfast they had this morning, Juyeon didn’t have space in his stomach for anything else. They eat outside, lying on the grass, and talk about their daily routines. 

Juyeon doesn't shy away from the fact his routine is as boring and stable as it gets: he wakes up, makes breakfast, goes to work, makes sure everything runs smoothly at the office, gives his interns basic instructions, finishes presentations, reads contracts, makes reports. He eats a quick meal for lunch, all on his own, otherwise his coworkers will get him to stay and socialize, which not only would be bad for his productivity levels but it's also not something he's good at. Gossip, small talk, oversharing: those aren't his topics of interest, another reason why he thinks Haknyeon wouldn't go for him.

That part, Juyeon does not say out loud. 

Instead, he talks about coming home at night, making dinner, cleaning after Blue and feeding her, taking a shower and going to sleep. To not seem completely soulless, he mentions his neighbors invite themselves over at least once a week, and Jaehyun calls him with around the same frequency. There are also the rare times he agrees to having one or two drinks after work with his fellow managers, but he’s never seen out of the comfort of his apartment after midnight. 

"As I said," Juyeon admits, feeling strange after saying it out loud. "Boring."

"Boring is good if you like boring," Haknyeon reassures him. “Besides, you’re here with me now, aren’t you? So you can be spontaneous when you want to.”

Juyeon decides there’s no harm in being blunt about the reason why he’s doing all of those things, venturing far from what he’s used to. “It’s all because you made me want to make an adventure out of this trip. Otherwise, I’d be sitting at the house with Jaehyun hyung.”

“Still! You could’ve told me to go fuck myself and stayed home anyway! See, next time I’m in Seoul,” Haknyeon stops his sentence halfway through to finish chewing on his pizza slice. “We’ll do what you like, hyung. And we’ll have a blast.”

“Even if what I like is watching basketball games in my pajamas and petting my cat?” Juyeon asks, feeling lightheaded. 

“I love cats,” Haknyeon grins at him, mischievous as always, although the way his eyes sparkle shows maybe he’s not lying to be nice. Maybe, just maybe, there’s something in Juyeon that draws Haknyeon in, too. 

Highly unlikely, but it’s a nice thought, that warms Juyeon up enough for him to smile back.

.

The next couple of days are busy.

Haknyeon acted as their tour guide as they visited museums — he was very passionate about the teddy bear museum — and local art exhibitions, ate at his favorite restaurants and met more of his friends. They decide they’ll go for a hike at Mount Hallasan, with Jaehyun whining about his back all the way to the top while Younghoon refused to go any further halfway through the climb and decided to take selfies at the scenic trails. He demanded compensation for having to do physical activities during what’s supposed to be a relaxing time, which brought them to an impromptu submarine trip that weirded out Jacob and Sangyeon while Younghoon stood there gaping at the colorful corals and Changmin squealed in amazement whenever he spotted a particularly weird-looking sea creature. There were also instances of snorkeling, scuba diving and the view of Haknyeon wakeboarding refuses to leave the back of Juyeon’s brain, even now. 

They haven’t been getting much alone time, which is understandable. While Haknyeon met Juyeon this week, he has known his friends for a lot longer and it’s only rational he’d want to spend time with them as well. Besides, it has given Juyeon more time to catch up with Jaehyun’s life, to confirm that yes, he’s still obsessed with Jacob while the poor guy keeps thinking he’s only joking around whenever he voices his undying love, and yes, Jaehyun’s boss is still a douchebag but a douchebag that pays well so he hasn’t felt compelled to quit the job just yet. Juyeon grows closer with Sangyeon, even, as they talk about the nuisances of office work, and listens intently to Younghoon gossiping about which actors are hooking up.

Their plan for the weekend seems to be simple, with little to no one-on-one time — they’ll have a party on Hyeopjae Beach, because Haknyeon loves it there. They get there when it’s dark but not too late, judging by the movement around them. They light a bonfire, huddle around it for warmth and start telling stories, each one with a bottle of soju in hand. 

Sangyeon is standing farther from the group, busy grilling meat and vegetables for everyone, and in the middle of Changmin’s rant about how his ex is indirecting him on his Instagram stories, Haknyeon stands up and walks towards Sangyeon. Juyeon makes a point of not staring. 

“I don’t fucking get it,” Changmin complains, too wrapped up on his own emotional turmoil. He’s on his second or third soju bottle, leaning against Juyeon and gesturing angrily. “If he’s feeling all these emotions, why can’t he talk to me about it? Why is the better alternative airing our shit out to a bunch of his friends who probably already hate me anyway?”

“I don’t think he’s doing this to make people hate you, man,” Jaehyun says, and for once Juyeon doesn't think he's playing devil's advocate. “It wouldn’t benefit him in any way.”

Despite his valiant efforts, Juyeon looks at Sangyeon and Haknyeon exchanging hushed whispers at the corner of his eye. It doesn’t seem like something wrong happened, but it does seem like an intimate exchange. Juyeon feels more than sees Changmin bristling. “I… don’t think so either. But then why?”

“Maybe he’s taking the breakup badly,” Jacob suggests gently. “Maybe he’s sad and misses you.”

Juyeon is distracted again, by the way Haknyeon runs his fingers through his hair and sighs and Sangyeon wraps an arm around his shoulders in a comforting gesture. Something rotten twists in Juyeon’s stomach and he takes a sip of his drink in hopes to soothe whatever is happening with him. 

“Plus, he doesn’t need to do anything for people to hate you,” Younghoon adds. “I follow Yeonjun on social media and boy, is he a feisty subtweeter.”

Changmin ignores that and huffs. “Then he’s crazier than he says I am because he broke up with me. I’m the one supposed to be sad!”

Juyeon decides to speak up, if only to show he’s paying attention. “Are you?”

“Um, I…” Changmin sputters, taken aback. He takes a long gulp of his drink, soju dripping at the corner of his mouth, before he speaks again. “Yeah, a little bit. I mean, I like— liked him a lot. He’s not as bad as my other exes, fuck, I can’t even say he’s bad at all. He’s so kind it’s annoying. And his face…”

He trails off, gazing longingly at the stars as if they’d offer him a magical cure for his heartache. Jacob, ever so patient, pats him on the back. “You never told us why you guys broke up, you know.”

“Yeah,” Younghoon agrees. “During the last month, all you gave us was radio silence. And girlgroup song recommendations.”

“Those were good ass songs,” Changmin retorts, defensive. He wraps his arms around himself, as if he’s cold. “Do you ever have something bad happen to you and you think if you pretend it doesn’t exist, if you never talk about it and move on with your life, it’ll stop hurting?”

Juyeon is all too familiar with that particular coping method, so he nods. Sangyeon and Haknyeon are still exchanging whispers, far removed from the conversation, in their own little world.

“I get where you’re coming from,” Jaehyun says. “But lying to yourself, deflecting, doesn’t work as well in the long run. See, we’re in literal paradise, eating and drinking our asses off, and all you can think of is your ex.”

“‘The truth shall set you free’,” Jacob quotes, solemnly. 

Juyeon feels more affected by their words than he expected to be — he has always thought of himself as someone honest, an earnest, direct man, but he supposes it’s different when it comes to emotion. He’s been trying to either rationalize all the intense feelings swirling inside him or keep them nameless and ignored, and none of these options had helped his case. 

Younghoon giggles. “It’s no summer trip without Jacob randomly citing the bible.”

“It’s not random! It fits the context!” Jacob protests, a pout on his lips. 

Changmin rests his face on one of his hands and sighs. “We had a fight last month. I was preparing for a performance, a huge one, and I was absorbed in it. You guys remember the showcase, don’t you?”

Everyone nods in agreement. Changmin smiles wryly, his eyes clouded by an unnamed, intense emotion Juyeon isn’t able to pinpoint. “He was on my case about it. Said I wasn’t eating, wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t hanging out with him. He kept coming to the studio whenever I stayed there until late at night, brought me lunchboxes because I was skipping meals, and told me about how I needed to find balance.”

“You don’t think you need to find balance?” Younghoon asks, not accusingly. 

“That’s the way I’ve always done things, hyung!” Changmin answers, his voice breaking. “I put 100% into everything I do, into everything I want, and I can’t afford to waste a once in a lifetime opportunity because he wants cuddles or whatever.”

Jaehyun grimaces. “That’s what you told him?”

“Something like that,” Changmin shrugs, a small thing, and drinks more of his soju. Juyeon almost wants to take the bottle out of his hands, regardless of the group’s claims about Changmin’s steely tolerance for alcohol. “I just… I know it’s not healthy, but I don’t know how to do things any other way. And he knew that when he started dating me! I’m scared that if I change, if I put in less effort, if I take more breaks, I won’t be good anymore, I won’t win. And I wanna win so bad.”

Juyeon thinks of himself, of the reasoning he gives whenever his friends question him why he works so hard, why he deprives himself of a personal life, why he thinks the so-called balance Changmin’s ex mentioned is an utopian dream. He’s always thought if you’re aiming for a goal, you gotta fight tooth and nail to get there, and career achievements are impersonal in a way he finds soothing. It’s better to dream of a promotion than to dream of world travels, building a family, finding love. It’s safer.

Changmin’s situation isn’t the same, but it’s similar in a way where he seems to also struggle with not taking professional losses as a personal, irredeemable flaw. He stands there, the orange of the flames reflecting on his skin, his jaw clenched. “He might not be an absolute dick like my other exes, but he wants me to change, just like the rest of them. That is why we broke up.” 

“Have you ever considered the fact he might not want you to change in the ways that matter?” Jacob says, his brows furrowed in poorly disguised concern. His voice doesn't have its usual cloud-like cadence now - there's a brand of assured, protective fierceness behind his words. “He doesn’t hate your ambition or your passion. He hates the fact you can’t seem to go after what you want without hurting yourself in the process, both mentally and physically. And to be honest, that’s something all of us can agree with.”

“It’s true,” Jaehyun smiles fondly at him. “Besides, losing isn’t so bad. It can be a teaching experience.”

“Talk about not listening to your own advice,” Younghoon snickers. “He’s right, Changminnie. Also, as someone who’s interacted with your loverboy before, I don’t think he wants you to change who you are either. That kid was obsessed with you, your quirks and fixations included. Judging by those stories, he might still be.”

Although Changmin has boyish, sharp visuals, he never looked inexperienced or vulnerable. He looked like he had seen a lot, went through even more, and had a good head on his shoulders. In this moment, though, he looks like what he is, young and in love and conflicted. “You think so?”

“I wouldn’t lie about this,” Younghoon says. “I’m very judgmental of my friends' exes.”

"Would it be crazy," Changmin begins, contemplative, slow and hesitant in a way Juyeon already knows is unlike him. "If I called him right now? I don't know if I'll be brave enough to do it later."

Thoughtful silence falls upon the group. They are aware, from a logistical standpoint, drunken calls don't usually work out. Serious conversations should not happen this way, with one of the parties not in his right mind and his equally tipsy friends as damage control. However, after listening to the almost cinematic ebbs and flows of Changmin's mixed feelings, his tone changing from angry to sad to frustrated to hopeful, it sparks the inner romantic in all of them. No one voices any kind of denial. 

Younghoon is the one who speaks up first. "Yeah, what the hell, do it. YOLO and all.”

Changmin grabs his phone with the fearless intent only drunk people can possess, Jaehyun whoops and encourages him, Juyeon is worried yet amused and he absentmindedly catches sight of Sangyeon standing behind the grill, putting food on a plastic bowl. There’s a split second where a lot happens — Changmin clutches at his chest and goes “Soobinnie?”, Jacob squeezes both Jaehyun and Younghoon’s hands in excitement. In the distance, Haknyeon’s face blooms in one of his signature grins and he kisses Sangyeon’s cheek, sweet and lingering.

Of course. Of course it was like that. 

Juyeon stands abruptly as if someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water on him. Jacob and Younghoon are too focused on Changmin’s conversation to notice, but Jaehyun turns to him with a frown. What’s wrong? he mouths. Everything, Juyeon wants to reply. 

“I think I had too much to drink,” he whispers instead, lying in a way that’s probably obvious. “ I’ll, uh, go on a walk, get some air.” 

Jaehyun seems to read right through him, through his sudden need of getting away from here, because all he does is nod. “Alright. Take care, let me know if you need anything.”

Younghoon and Jacob both shush them, just as Changmin goes “Do you have time to talk?” on the phone, and Juyeon takes the opportunity to slip away unnoticed.

.

Juyeon finds out he’s not as sober as he had thought he was because it’s harder to move in the sand, too bothersome to feel it getting in between his toes and to drag his feet through the weight of it to move forward. He does it anyway, taking care to not stray too far from his friends yet far enough for him to calm down, get his thoughts in order. The moonlight on him is somewhat comforting, except it makes him feel like a pitiful romcom character, moping over what's out of his reach. A reverse Icarus, if you will, which is an imagery too dramatic to be made in a harmless summer trip.

It's just…

Despite how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, a part of him still thought there was something brewing between him and Haknyeon. That behind the jokes, the side glances, the innocent curiosity, there was real interest. That there was this connection between them, an alluring pull, a sensation so foreign to Juyeon after those years of self-imposed loneliness he couldn't help but drown in it.

He hears steps behind him, the dragging of sand loud enough to be heard over the sound of the waves crashing. Haknyeon is faster than him, so pretending to not notice him is useless since he'll catch up regardless. Juyeon curses his recent neglect towards the gym and stops walking, hands in his pockets.

Haknyeon is now in front of him, his head tilted to the side. "Are you alright?"

Juyeon almost laughs. "I'm fine," he says flatly. He cannot find it in himself to act like he feels any better than he does. "I'm just walking."

"I'll walk with you, then, if you don't mind," Haknyeon gives him a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "It's easier to get lost around here than you think."

"Okay," Juyeon says, because he doesn't own the beach and he doesn't want to be rude. Is it even Haknyeon's fault that some random guy from the city developed an (irrational, absurd) crush on him?

All Juyeon has to do is calm down, get over himself and finish this trip on a good note. He can go on Tinder dates to alleviate his newfound neediness when he gets back to Seoul, ask Hyunjun to help him with his outfit and Eric to give him small talk topics, since he clearly loves to chatter. 

Planning ahead helps him clear his head so he’s halfway through a mental to-do list with bullet points on how to be less of a workaholic when Haknyeon touches his elbow, featherlight, his fingertips warm even through Juyeon’s hoodie. “You wanna hear about something funny?”

“Sure,” he replies, slowing down his pace. “What is it?”

“I thought…” Haknyeon starts, then stops himself with a short laugh. His cheeks are tinted red, which could be from the sun from earlier or— could he be embarrassed? No way. “Nevermind. It’s stupid.”

“Are you really gonna leave me hanging?” Juyeon puts his hands on his waist, his nosiness winning over his common sense. 

“I thought Changmin hyung was interested in you,” Haknyeon says, and although he sounds flippant and casual there’s an unmistakable edge to his statement. “And that it was reciprocated.”

“Oh,” Juyeon exclaims, eloquently. What else should he say, really? Your perception skills fucking suck? He’s not one to talk. Why the hell do you care? That wouldn’t be too kind. “Do you still think so?”

“I just heard part of a very emotional phone call that enlightened me, so no,” Haknyeon snorts. “Have you ever seen Soobin? Changmin hyung’s ex, I mean. He’s very good-looking and tall, kinda resembles a bunny. They make a cute couple, I think.”

He’s rambling. Why is he rambling? Juyeon is too drunk for this so he settles for a diplomatic answer. “Changmin seems to like him a lot, so I hope it all works out.”

“Hyung,” Haknyeon whines, a pout on his lips, his shoulders sagging. “You’re really making my life difficult, you know.”

“What… did I do?” Juyeon doesn’t bother to hide the incredulity from his voice. Between the two of them, he’s not the one making anyone’s life difficult! 

Haknyeon sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. It’s black, longer than Juyeon’s, and the moonlit strands make it look like it’d be soft to the touch. Haknyeon’s skin, too, tanned and smooth with barely any blemishes. He stops walking, his mouth pressed in a thin line, and blocks Juyeon’s path. 

There’s no one around them. There’s a group of friends a couple steps from them, wrapped up in their own conversation, and the light of the bonfire burning way behind them. No one in their immediate vicinity, and the fact they’re alone makes his stomach sink. 

Haknyeon is close, too. He puts both his hands on Juyeon’s shoulders, one of them nearly touching the curve of his neck. There’s an almost frantic glint in his eyes as they stare deep into Juyeon’s. “Do you really not know?”

Juyeon’s breath catches on his throat. His heart is beating so hard it’s reverberating through every cell on his body, the deafening impact pinning him stiffly into place. He can’t think — all he can process is Haknyeon, Haknyeon touching him, his dark lashes and the slope of his nose and his mouth, the proximity of him, the sea breeze flowing around them as if wanting to tell them a secret. Juyeon shakes his head minutely, the only gesture he has the presence of mind to make.

It’s enough for Haknyeon to stand on his toes and kiss him. It happens without his usual eagerness, too, careful and slow, as if asking him a question. 

And Juyeon has so many more questions, running around in a flurry inside his head, but even louder than them, he has an answer. He kisses Haknyeon back the way he wanted to kiss him on the first day, while they were looking at the same sea and the same moon was watching over them. Juyeon wraps a hand around his waist and pulls him even closer, feeling the hot press of his mouth and letting the content sigh he lets out flood his senses.

Haknyeon pulls away first, his plush lips as red as his cheeks, and runs his fingers through the expanse of Juyeon’s jawline. “You’re sharp here,” he murmurs, low and dazed, and brushes his thumb at the plumper side of his cheeks. “But you’re soft here. I was wondering.”

“I thought,” Juyeon begins, then licks at his own lips. He tastes like orange candy, and he tries to ignore the way Haknyeon follows the movement with his eyes because it’s disconcerting and he has something he wants to ask. “You and Sangyeon hyung…”

“Jesus fuck, no,” Haknyeon chuckles. “Where did you get that from?”

He won’t stop smiling and it makes Juyeon feel really silly and just as happy. He frowns. “You were flirting with him. You, um, kissed his cheek.”

“I just shoved my tongue down your throat, hyung,” Haknyeon quips, matter-of-factly. He laughs at Juyeon’s unamused expression. “The thing is, I’m flirty with everyone. I think hitting on people is fun. But if I bat an eye in Jacob hyung’s direction Jaehyun hyung is gonna have me gutted, Younghoon hyung has a secret boyfriend he thinks no one knows about but everyone does and I thought Changmin hyung wanted you, so I tried to stay out of his way.”

“That was a really bad read on your part,” Juyeon says, in defense of himself.

Haknyeon scoffs. “On my part? I practically threw myself on your lap and you said nothing. When I was talking to Sangyeon hyung, I was wondering if I should just be straightforward with you already or give it up, because I thought you knew but were pretending not to because you didn’t wanna hurt my feelings.”

“You said you flirt with everyone,” Juyeon retorts, keeping his tone disbelieving so he can be taken seriously because Haknyeon is too quick to make fun of him but he can’t. He’s too glad. “How was I supposed to know I was special?”

The question sounds silly as soon as it spills out of him, a whispered what are we? muttered by an insecure person in a relationship, a plea for reassurance. Juyeon doesn’t beg for anything, only makes requests that are reasonable. Wanting a man he met a week ago to show him he’s different is not, by any means, reasonable.

However, Haknyeon cups Juyeon’s face with his small hands, warmth seeping from them in waves, and looks at him. Really looks. As unreal as it should sound, in this moment it’s like he sees the entirety of Juyeon for who he is, not for who he pretends to be, not for who he wants to be. Not a promising assistant manager, a strict yet gentle boss, a committed employee, a loyal friend — Haknyeon sees the twenty-something guy who stays up at night watching Netflix documentaries, the one who is fiercely territorial about his kitchen and deathly afraid of roller coaster rides, the one who only splurges on toys for his cat. “How could you not?”

And Juyeon is at a loss for words, overwhelmed with how charged the air around them feels, so he kisses Haknyeon once again, relieved he gets to do that. It’s brief, this time, because they’re in public and he doesn’t want to get carried away. There’s another thing he wants to clarify, too. “I… don’t want to ruin the moment, but I have something to ask. One last thing.”

“You can ask as many questions as you want,” Haknyeon says, softly. “I’m officially kiss-stupid.”

Juyeon laughs, then remembers himself. He can’t leave room for misunderstandings here. “I really liked being here, on this trip, and I think a big part of that is thanks to you. Would you like to, um, keep on doing this? After I have to go home tomorrow?”

“What is this, exactly?” Haknyeon teases, playing with the hem of Juyeon’s hoodie. “Talking? Annoying you? Making out?”

“All of it,” Juyeon answers, not denying the annoying part because it’s true. Haknyeon gets on his last nerve, with his jokes and the irritating lilt on his voice when he’s about to taunt him, and Juyeon’s hooked on it. “I don’t want you to think a summer fling is all I want. I’d like to try getting to know you better, if you’re willing.”

“You silly, silly man,” Haknyeon tsks, amusement twinkling in his eyes. Not amusement, Juyeon corrects himself, but endearment. It’s far past the time he learns the difference. “Of course I’m fucking willing. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?”

Juyeon doesn’t fluster, the anxious knot in his belly not loosening at mere visual compliments. He needs more. He wants more. “I know the distance can be a bummer. I know… you have your life and I have mine, and they’re both busy. It’d be understandable if you chose to end things here on a happy note, instead of risking a falling out in the future.”

He thinks, faintly, of the fight between Changmin and his — possibly no longer — ex.

“I know what you mean,” Haknyeon says, a soft smile on his lips. “You know, as many friends as I have, and as much as they love me and I love them, a lot of them don’t understand me. But you… I feel like you do. So I think that’s worth chasing.” 

Juyeon kisses him eagerly as an answer. It’s been long since he last kissed someone, maybe months, maybe years, so a part of him worries whether he’s become rusty, if he has become a bad kisser, stilted or too clueless to read body languages. Haknyeon doesn’t let him worry for long, though, with the way he moans around his tongue, has this stunned look on his eyes when Juyeon bites down on his lower lip, like he’s drunk on it. They part after what feels like decades, and only do so because they get caught by a whistling teenager with Haknyeon’s hands under Juyeon’s hoodie. 

“Fuck off!” Haknyeon yells, and the kid scurries off, snickering all the while. “My cousin is dating that guy’s older brother. The whole family is gonna hear all about this tomorrow.”

Juyeon blinks, slow like a cat. Being kiss-stupid truly is a state of mind. “Is that okay?”

“More than okay,” Haknyeon grins, even slower, wide and satisfied. Even though it’s late at night, seeing him like this is like watching the sunrise.

Juyeon wonders if Hyunjun and Eric would mind watching over Blue for another day or two.

.

“Are you guys decent?” Eric asks loudly after knocking on the bedroom door. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Haknyeon answers, just as loud, an unmoving Blue curled on his lap. He has come to Seoul for Jaehyun’s birthday, and this time around he’s staying at Juyeon’s place instead of sleeping in his sister’s guest room. Blue has taken an immediate liking to him, napping on him and letting him brush her fur, which Juyeon thinks is unfair because on the other hand, Honeydew still feels nothing but contempt towards him.

Eric walks inside the room with a gift package in his hands that’s almost as long as his legs and as wide as his shoulders, wrapped in hot pink paper. Hyunjun comes next, with his gift inside a purse-sized bag. Juyeon turns to them with his hands on his waist. “How do I look?”

“Surprisingly good?” Hyunjun admits, his eyebrows raised. He gives Juyeon a once-over — he’s wearing a silk shirt and jeans, nothing outstanding but still admittedly different from his go-to, which are sweaters and dress shirts. “Are you responsible for this?”

Haknyeon winks at him. “Exactly! Who else?"

"You guys," Eric calls them, struggling to grab a hold of his enormous gift. "As much as I'd like to keep talking smack about Juyeon hyung's fashion sense, we gotta go. Our Uber is waiting downstairs!"

Throughout the ride, while Haknyeon and Eric are chattering and Hyunjun is staring into the distance with the faint rhythm of pop music coming from his earbuds, Juyeon is lost in thought. He has been in a relationship with Haknyeon for around three months now, yet the physical distance between them makes it harder for them to interact with the people in each other's lives. Juyeon has only seen Haknyeon's mother once or twice, only talked to his father through a terrifying video call where he got the scariest shovel talk of his life. Just like that, Haknyeon hadn't met the fixtures of Juyeon's life before this weekend: his darling kitten, his pestering neighbors and his few work colleagues.

(When he's back to work after his first trip to Jeju, everyone notices he has a pep on his step, a joyful glow that goes beyond suntanning. Yerin and Minho corner him with matching smirks and bombard him with questions. His interns are even less discreet about it, because they try so hard throughout the week to act like they're not curious. Even Soeun, who is glad to ignore the fact they have a life outside of work, gives him strange, wandering glances. When Juyeon calls Haknyeon to tell him about that, he goes on a spiel about the impact of his magical dick that makes Juyeon hang up on him and block him on KakaoTalk for three hours.)

Still, he's pleased to notice Haknyeon has been settling in his life like the missing piece of a puzzle. Eric likes him because they're on the same wavelength, chaotic blabbermouths who run Juyeon's patience thin. Hyunjun is intimidating and protective until Haknyeon manages to pierce down those defenses over dinner, both by making delicious tteokbokki and by effusively complimenting Hyunjun's fashion sense. Later, when they're in bed, Juyeon asks him if he was doing it for brownie points and Haknyeon denies it right away. I really do like his style, he confesses, his cheek squished on the pillow, I wish I could pull off stuff like that. Juyeon goes to sleep with his brain fried, the mental image of Haknyeon wearing one of Hyunjun's crop tops stuck to the back of his eyelids.

When they ring the doorbell to Jaehyun's house, they hear a lot of scrambling and an Act normal! barked from a voice that sounded like Sangyeon. Younghoon opens the door, and looks honest to God disappointed when he sees them. "It's just Juyeon and Hak."

"And we're chopped liver," Hyunjun mutters. Eric elbows him and mouths be nice.

"What the hell is happening here?" Haknyeon inquires, looking around the living room to find their friends going back and forth in a frenzy. Jaehyun walks up to them, his hair artfully tousled and his outfit a jumpsuit Juyeon has gifted him a week ago, carrying a tray of brownies in his hand. 

"Where do we put the gifts?" Eric asks, his voice breaking with the effort he's making to carry the package in his arms. 

"You didn't have to buy something so big, Youngjae," Jaehyun chides, an amused smile on his lips. "Leave it anywhere."

Eric puts his gift near the center table and Haknyeon does the same, putting his colorful medium-sized box next to it. Juyeon turns to Jacob, whose hair is now a shade of reddish brown, and repeats Haknyeon's question. "Why is everyone like this?"

"Ah, Changminnie asked if he could bring someone to the party!" Jacob explains giddily. "We're thinking it could be him."

"No way," Haknyeon says, gaping. 

Last they heard, Changmin and Soobin had agreed to talk about their situation and they hadn't reached a conclusion about getting back together. Changmin has been very secretive about his relationship status since the trip, saying it's complicated and that he's working some shit out and, to a particularly insistent Haknyeon, mind your fucking business. 

"He didn't say who it was," Chanhee chimes in, buzzing in his seat. Juyeon only knows him as Jaehyun's coworker and Changmin's close friend, but he's always dressing well and smelling nice. "But who else could it be, right? He hasn't told you anything?" 

He directs that question to another guy, a redhead who's playing a mobile game on his phone. Jaehyun's downstairs neighbor, the soccer player? Juyeon can't recall his name, although he does know the way both Hyunjun and Eric do a double take when they see him and is immediately scared for the poor boy's life. The man scrunches his nose in thought then shakes his head. "No. Only asked me if I was coming and at what time the party would start."

The doorbell rings. And chaos ensues. 

Younghoon squeals, Jacob jumps to cover his mouth, Chanhee and his redhead friend huddle close together and stare at the door as if a four-eyed monster would come out of it at any second. Even Sangyeon, who's usually either controlled or exhausted, is fidgety. Juyeon is surprised to feel his own heart beating faster in anticipation. 

"Kevin, open the door!" Jaehyun screams from the kitchen. 

Kevin, the artsy friend from Canada who Juyeon also doesn't know too well, swears under his breath. "Fucking shit hell fuck. Coming!" 

He opens the door and lo and behold, there's Changmin, a neatly wrapped gift in his hands and a dimpled smile on his face, standing... alone? 

Every single person in the party is wearing matching looks of confusion, which he's quick to notice.

"What's with that reaction, Kevin?" Changmin crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Aren't you happy to see me?" 

"Oh my God, yeah, of course, sorry," Kevin pulls him in for a quick hug. "It's great to see you, dude. How are you?" 

"I'm great!" Changmin beams at him, his tone chirpy and bright like the usual. "I mean, except for this lady was a bitch in the parking lot, why are rich people like this, seriously..." 

"Ah, sorry," a deep voice comes from the hallway and if you listen closely you can hear the dramatic sound of everyone collectively holding their breath. "I had to move the car. A lady who lives here said we parked on her spot." 

As the owner of the voice approaches the doorstep, Juyeon sees him, matching Haknyeon's description: tall, handsome, bunny-like features. Younghoon nearly squeals again.

"Which is ridiculous, because her name wasn't there, was it? And there was an empty spot right next to us, what was the point?" Changmin lets out an annoyed sigh. "Anyway, I let Soobinnie deal with it, because if I deal with it, I'm going to jail." 

"And I dealt with it," Soobin says, with a smitten little smile that reaches his eyes. "No need for murders." 

"The night isn't over yet, sweetheart," Changmin grabs his hands, surprisingly gentle as he intertwines their fingers, then all but drags the man inside the apartment. He stands in the middle of the living room and takes in all of the facial expressions around him, ranging from puzzled to delighted. "Ugh. Okay, here's an announcement." 

Soobin grimaces, his cheeks flushing. "Do you have to make an event out of it?" 

"You don't know these people," Changmin pats his back, because he can't reach his head without having to stand on his tippy toes. Juyeon tries not to laugh. "Yes, we're dating again. I'm in love, never been happier, a changed man, etc. Don't be weird about it." 

"How romantic," Soobin mutters. He's laughing, though, and still hasn't let go of Changmin's hand. 

"Right? Aren't you lucky to have me?" Changmin grins, his dimples showing. "Now that we got that out of the way... Where's our birthday boy?" 

Jaehyun comes out of the kitchen a few minutes later with a beer pack in one hand and a pie in another. The main topic of their conversation is, of course, Changmin's dating life. Soobin is way more generous with the information he offers, specially after a few drinks: he talks about how he got in a slump after their breakup, how he didn't think he'd like anyone else again, how his friends put a picture of Changmin on his dart board and even that didn't make Soobin hate him, and so on. Juyeon is happy to observe Younghoon had been right: the kid is visibly fond of Changmin, and doesn't look like he'll be changing his mind anytime soon.

Jaehyun doesn't mind that he isn't the center of attention on his own birthday, fishing for cute couple anecdotes left and right, asking who is the small spoon (Changmin) and who kills the bugs (Soobin, to Changmin's indignant cries of murderer!), but Jacob shifts the focus back to him as he tells him to open the gifts. Eric's humongous package was a life-sized Iron Man doll, an apparent collector's item he bought from a friend of a friend for a cheaper price, and Jaehyun is so thankful he almost cries. The other gifts are less grand: jewelry, clothing, League of Legends gift cards, etc, and he receives them all with equal levels of cheerfulness.

When the party is nearing its end, with Eric checking how expensive their Uber ride is going to be, Hyunjun approaches Juyeon with a smirk. "Aren't you glad I convinced you to go on that trip?" 

Juyeon takes in his surroundings. Jacob ranting about something, speaking through a pout, and Jaehyun looking at him like he has hung up all the stars in the sky. Changmin cackling at Soobin's reaction to a jumpscare and Younghoon slapping him across the head. And, of course, Haknyeon slamming his last UNO card on the table and doing a victory dance that makes Sangyeon pinch the bridge of his nose. 

Haknyeon catches him looking and blows him a kiss, exaggerated and playful. Juyeon's own sunshine, always setting and rising and leaving warmth wherever he goes. 

He smiles. "Yeah, I am."