Chapter Text
"-We just need to talk to him, please."
Kirishima and his boyfriends looked down at Inko, their hearts hurting from what had happened the previous day. Him and his boyfriends thought it would be wise to give Midoriya some space even though it hurt them as much as it did. Kirishima just wanted them all to be happy as boyfriends. They were so close but Midoriya decided to push them away.
His attention focused on the short woman when Inko smiled sadly. The look on her face left a pit in Kirishima's stomach. "He didn't tell you three... I'm sorry but he's not here..."
"...And I'm not sure when he's going to come back."
That was almost a year ago.
Kirishima and his boyfriends tried to move on. The first couple of weeks were rough; at random points in time one of them would just start crying whether that be because of something they saw that reminded them of Midoriya or because they were doing 'couple' stuff without Midoriya being there. As the time passed they learned to cope with it a little more but it didn't make it hurt any less.
They couldn't help the fact that they still loved him.
"Kirishimaaaa!"
Right, another change to their lives.
After getting accepted to UA, they all decided to go not only for themselves but for Midoriya. They were second years now and Kirishima couldn't have asked for anything better than being able to attend a college like this. Well, ha could think of one thing but obviously that was out of the question.
"Oh heya Kaminari," Kirishima greeted. The blond and him had hit it off right when they met the first day. They were both having trouble finding their class(in which Katsuki had angrily dragged them to the class) and Kirishima had been talking to Kaminari ever since.
"Wanna hangout today? Me and Sero were gonna go to the arcade or something. You and your boyfriends wanna tag along?" Kaminari asked with a little pep in his step. They were currently walking back to the dorms from school. Him and Kaminari had the same last hour class so that was good for them.
Kirishima smiled, still happy about how accepting his new class was of their relationship. The class didn't really pay any special attention to it or treat them any different from before they told them about it. Yaoyorozu already knew, of course, but she pulled them aside the first day and told them that she wouldn't tell anyone until they're ready.
Which was only a week or so later.
In which case their classmates offered to switch rooms with them in the dorms. There were four people allowed in each dorm but their class made it so that they only had two dorm rooms completely full. For the boys there were two dorms of four and two dorms of three while for the girls they only had two rooms of three.
Shinso and Tokoyami decided to switch their places in their rooms with Shoto and Kirishima respectively. (Apparently neither of them wanted to share a room with Katsuki.) Which worked out great because apparently Shinso and Katsuki hated each other.
"Yeah, we could hangout! I just gotta see if Katsuki or Shoto want to go," Kirishima grinned.
Kaminari nodded but groaned a minute afterwards, as if he just remembered something. Kirishima raised an eyebrow at him while he readjusted his backpack. "I didn't know this would all be so exhausting. First week back and we already have all of the syllabuses for our classes and Mr. Ishiyama or whatever- didn't you say he reminded you of Cementoss from that one series...? But like- he gave us deadlines for the books we gotta read for the class," Kaminari complained. He turned quickly towards Kirishima in between his rambling when he looked at him wide eyed, "Dude! He gave us the book already and told us to start reading the first chapter!"
"Yeah..I have him, too. He said the book was kind of hard. I'll probably have to ask Katsuki and Shoto if they wanna work on some of the material from that class together," Kirishima said aloud thoughtfully. With his gaze previously being focused on the ground, he redirected his eyes to Kaminari. "Maybe it was a bad idea on my part to take English with Mr. Yamada."
"Oh yeah. He reminds me of Bakugo," Kaminari mentioned idly. Kirishima must've given him a look because he continued, "You know- loud, and blond-"
"So you?" Kirishima laughed, "I feel like you're more like him than Katsuki."
"You talking about me over there, Dunce Face?"
The redhead turned around and smiled when he saw Katsuki and Shoto walking up to them. Well, Katsuki looked a little mad but Kirishima knew he didn't mean it. His ash blond boyfriend pulled Kaminari into a headlock and talked to him about who knows what.
Kirishima wasn't really focused on that because Shoto had simply collapsed into him with a hug. The dual haired male probably waited to do that since Katsuki wasn't all about displaying affection publicly. Well, he didn't mind it all that much beforehand but Kirishima could tell that Midoriya leaving was part of the reason Katsuki distanced himself a little.
Breaking out of his thoughts, he turned his attention to Shoto. "What's wrong?" Kirishima asked when he hugged Shoto back.
"I miss Izuku..." Shoto mumbled into his chest.
Ah, so it was one of those days.
Each of them tended to have a day where all they could think about was where Izuku was every once and a while. Shoto would be more stoic and show less emotion, Katsuki would just flat out lash out at anyone for no reason, and Kirishima himself would be less talkative, less energetic, and overall just completely exhausted.
"Yeah, I know," Kirishima muttered, "Why don't we go back to the dorms first, okay? We can call him if you want." Shoto nodded and stayed in the hug for a couple more seconds before pulling away. Kirishima had to make sure Katsuki was still distracting Kaminari and sure enough he was. Kirishima began to pull and lead Shoto back to the dorms, keeping an arm wrapped around him while he did so.
Kirishima felt a lump in his throat, the thought of hearing that damn ringing noise and to have the phone go to voicemail wasn't something he was particularly looking forwards to. Some days he would leave Midoriya a voicemail just to update him on stuff, if Midoriya even listened to the voicemails, or he would sometimes be sobbing into the phone and pouring his heart out to someone who wouldn't answer. Sometimes he would call just to hear Midoriya's voice say "Midoriya Izuku!" just before the beep for the voicemail sounded.
He was reminded of the text that Midoriya sent them in their group chat the morning he left. It was vague and Kirishima along with his boyfriends had no clue on what it meant. At least, not right away. Kirishima had read it so many times that he had the whole thing memorized by now:
Midoriya 💚:
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have to leave. I'm doing it for you guys. I don't want him to hurt you. You guys deserve better, anyways. You'll see."
"I love you guys."
They tried to ask Midoriya what he meant, they didn't get a reply. Kirishima and them interpreted it as Midoriya's father wouldn't approve of their relationship. Katsuki had yelled through text explaining that they would work around it, and that Midoriya could even move into his house until they had to go to college. It wasn't until the day after the message was sent, the day they went to Midoriya's house and talked to Inko, did they understand.
Kirishima pushed the door to the dorms open, entering the Heights Alliance and waving at the people there. Iida was there first and of course he noticed Shoto hanging off of Kirishima's side.
"Is there something the matter with Todoroki? I would gladly assist with whatever may trouble him," Iida announced, swinging his hands and arms up and down like he usually did. He still hasn't broken that habit from last year and Kaminari, Sero, and Ashido would sometimes poke fun at him for it.
"No, it's alright Iida, I got it. He's just a little tired," Kirishima excused his boyfriend's sluggish demeanor. He looked down at Shoto slightly; though they grew a little bit over the past year or so, Kirishima was still the tallest out of all of them. He had to wonder if Midoriya grew a little bit too. It would be impossible for him to, Kirishima guessed, Midoriya was around seven feet tall which is ridiculous in itself. Kirishima wanted to know exactly how much height they all gained on Midoriya. Maybe they would actually be able to reach past the height of his chest, though at the same time Kirishima didn't want that because that would mean he wouldn't have instant access to his soft chest. Actually, one of the reason Kirishima loved their hugs so much was because of the height difference between them.
Kirishima was made aware of his dual haired boyfriend when he pressed his head to Kirishima's shoulder. The redhead nudged Shoto a little bit to silently tell him to start moving again.
Shoto reluctantly started moving, still attached to Kirishima when they were heading to the elevator. Shoto didn't even want to detach himself by the time they got to Kirishima's room. The redhead allowed it and got over to the bed, plopping down a whining Shoto on it.
"Okay, hold on I'm just getting some comfy clothes for us to wear," Kirishima murmured as he made his way to the dresser. He rummaged through it, taking some of his clothes and Shoto's clothes- they all shared a dorm room together - before making his way back over to his dual haired boyfriend.
Kirishima tossed the clothes over to Shoto, keeping the rest of them to himself when he tossed them on the bed in front of him so he could start changing. They were all used to this by now, changing in front of each other without much thought. The first couple of times Kirishima remembered how flustered they all were. The redhead has to admit there were some times where he would still get flustered seeing his boyfriends shirtless.
"Go on and change into those," Kirishima ordered, pulling a red t-shirt over his head as he spoke. He could see Shoto begin to move around out of the corner of his eye in order to get the clothes.
Kirishima took a moment before taking out his phone to pull up Midoriya's contact in his phone. He found it almost immediately, considering the amount of times he's called the number. It wasn't long after that had he found himself plopping onto the bed, noticing when Shoto had finished changing his shirt and pants.
The redhead adjusted himself on the bed, looking to Shoto to make sure it was okay to start the call. The dual haired male just nodded and Kirishima pressed the green call button.
Buzzzzz.
Kirishima hated the noise.
Buzzzzzz.
Why couldn't Midoriya just answer? Why couldn't he pick up?
Buzzzzz.
Kirishima felt something in his stomach churn.
Buzzzzz.
Answer. Please.....
Buzzzzz.
"Please leave your message for- Midoriya Iz-"
Kirishima ended the call before it could go to voicemail. He hated this feeling. He hated the way his heart ached. Why couldn't he get over it? Why can't he just accept that Midoriya is gone and move on? He was an adult, he should've able to deal with a little heartbreak.
He always told himself that. He always told himself why moping around wasn't going to get him anywhere.
But then, Midoriya's voice would float through his head like a melody. A horribly wonderful melody. His laugh and his smiles would flash in Kirishima's brain and the redhead would feel his heart stutter in his chest. He would try to remember the warm, soft hugs Midoriya gave and how sweet it was that the greenette would comfort him with words and actions, running his hand through Kirishima's hair while they hugged.
He'd remember the stupid things they all did with Midoriya. From when Katsuki tried shooting the boba pearls at the seagulls through his straw to when he and Midoriya were messing around in the supermarket, Kirishima missed every single moment.
His attention was directed towards Shoto, breaking Kirishima away from his thoughts. His dual haired boyfriend pushed on his chest to make him lay down and Kirishima obliged, noticing the sad look in Shoto's eyes.
When Kirishima was settled down, Shoto took the spot on his left side and curled up against him. He laid down on the redhead's bicep and Kirishima realized what was happening. Shoto would get frustrated in a minute or so after shuffling around and then he would be lost and not know what to do. Shoto would do it sometimes, especially when they cuddled. He would place himself in the spot he was at with Midoriya the night of the party in an attempt to relive that moment. Shoto would get angry and upset when it wouldn't work because Kirishima obviously wasn't Midoriya. Midoriya was soft and fluffy and warm. He was the perfect, cutest pillow and now he wasn't here.
Kirishima understood how Shoto felt because he himself would sometimes try doing things a certain way to try and feel how he felt before.
Shoto had started shuffling and Kirishima noticed the growing frustration on his boyfriend's face. The redhead sighed and pulled Shoto over his chest instead, carding his hand through half red half white hair and having his other hand to trace patterns on his back.
"It's okay," Kirishima attempted to reassure him. Though deep down he knew it wasn't okay. Kirishima thought they all got better, that they could move on without Midoriya. But time and time again he was proven wrong. He was wrong to think he could get over Midoriya. He was wrong to think that his heart would heal, that his feelings for his friend would dissolve.
The tears falling down his cheeks were proof of that.
Kirishima was startled when his room door flung open a few minutes later.
Katsuki stood in the doorway for a moment before flinging his bookbag aside and closing the door.
“Again?” Katsuki clicked his tongue, “I still don’t understand why you’re still fucking hung up on him.”
The redhead felt his eyebrows furrow when he looked at the blond. Sure, Katsuki got mad sometimes but he was never like this.
“What’s your problem?” Kirishima murmured, wiping his face with the arm not holding onto Shoto.
“My fucking problem is that you two can’t get over Deku! There are other people! We can just fucking find another tall chubby nerd!” Katsuki snapped. He was yelling and his face looked hurt and angry.
“But they’re not Midoriya,” Shoto gritted out. He had gotten up from his place on top of Kirishima in order to face Katsuki.
“I- I KNOW! YOU DON’T THINK I KNOW THAT? THEY’RE NOT DEKU BUT DEKU IS FUCKING GONE! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT OR WHAT?”
Kirishima was taken aback by Katsuki’s outburst. He can’t say he remembered the last time Katsuki yelled like that out of pure anger.
“We know he’s gone but I’m willing to wait as long as it takes for him,” Shoto stated firmly.
And Katsuki laughed. Full blown cackling with his body doubling over to catch himself from falling. It kind of pissed Kirishima off that the blond was acting like such a jerk. But it also threw him off because of Katsuki’s sudden mood change.
“Wait? You want to wait, Shoto? It’s been a year. More than a year if I’m counting correctly. Do you just expect him to magically come back? Appear out of thin air? Do you really think we’re just going to magically bump into him at a grocery store or on the train one day? Well tough shit because life doesn’t fucking work like that! You know that, we all know that!” Katsuki hit his fist against the wall. Hopefully Kaminari, Sero, or Shinso weren’t in the room next door; they might come and see what the commotion was.
“There’s no one that’s going to be like him!” Kirishima protested, throat tightening when tears tried to make their way down his face again. He watched Katsuki -even though he was angry- cry when he spoke.
“HE’S GONE!” Katsuki roared, heartbroken, distraught, and angry all at the same time. He slammed the wall with his fist yet again, as if doing so would make everything that upset him stop. “He left us,” Katsuki choked, his voice cracking. “The motherfucker left us. He could’ve told us he was leaving. He could’ve said he was going to another damn country. He could’ve answered our phone calls. He could’ve gave us a better answer than a damn kiss and ‘sorry’. We did so much for him. We told him he could talk to us, we gave him a place to stay when he didn’t want to go home, we dropped everything just to pick him up from some random ass spot while he was all bruised and broken, we made ourselves look like dumbasses in front of the police, we gave him a chance to get out of that shithole. We did all we could.”
Katsuki exhaled shakily and calmed down slightly. Kirishima wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure how to respond to any of it. He didn’t know if he should go comfort Katsuki or stay and keep rubbing Shoto’s back like he started doing in the middle of their little dispute. It wasn’t until Katsuki looked back up did Kirishima come to his senses. He looked Katsuki in the eyes when the ash blond spoke again,
“Don’t you think we deserve more than someone who’s not coming back?”