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Tally wrenched the knife out of her, she stared at it in her hands the blood coated her hands. She looked into the face of Sarah Alder who stared back at her and she expected to see horror or disappointment etched on her face. But all Tally saw was affection, love, admiration, pride. There was no sorrow there and Tally didn’t understand. Why wasn’t she looking at her like the monster she had become?
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you, it was Nicte, she got in my head. I’m so sorry, General, I--”
But all Alder did was smile back at her, cupping her cheek with so much warmth it made the tears in Tally’s eyes fall.
“Please, say something, I don’t know what to do. We need a healer,” she frantically looked around for someone.
But all Alder did was pull her gaze back to her face, they sank to their knees as Tally’s hand never left the hilt.
Where were her biddies? Where was everyone?
“Just look at me, Tally, only at me. There isn’t time left. I’m glad it was you. I’m proud of you. Let your face be the last face I see in this very long life. Tally Craven.”
“No, no, no, General!!! Please, stay, I need you to stay, please!!! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!”
And just like that Tally was shaken from her nightmare, crying out Sarah’s name as she bolted up in her bed. Looking around the room to gather herself. Abigail and Raelle weren’t here, that’s right, she was alone.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to calm herself down, she stared at her hands that had been so stained with blood in her nightmare.
Once she was able to compose herself, she threw on a hoodie and her boots and made her way towards Alder’s office. It was late but she had a feeling that she was still there. She found herself standing at her door, she could hear the soft sound of music coming from within.
She rested her hand against the door softly and even from this distance she could feel her. She was alive and her heart was beating. That was enough of an assurance for her and yet here she was standing in the middle of the hall in front of her office door crying again unable to walk away.
She choked out a sob and immediately covered her mouth with the sleeve of her hoodie. Squeezing her eyes shut to block it all out, she didn’t even hear the music shut off and the door open in front of her.
“Craven.”
There was the General, her hair down, just the way it was every time Tally’s heart skipped a beat. Jacket undone, shirt untucked, with a blush to her cheeks.
Tally looked at her with crocodile tear filled eyes and quickly tried to wipe away the tears, “General, I, I’m sorry. I uh,” her face falling to look at the floor as her words escaped her.
Alder lifted her chin so their eyes could meet, “What is it?”
“I’m sorry, I had a nightmare and-and it upset me and I suddenly found myself here. I’ll leave.”
Before she could turn to leave, Alder was grabbing her hand, she didn’t say anything, merely locked her office door and led her down the hallway.
Tally didn’t question her, merely stared at her back as she led and realized how strong her back looked.
How tired must she be from carrying the weight of everything?
Alder led her up a flight of stairs before they stopped in front of a door, even unlocking the door she never let her hand go. As soon as they entered that smell she associated with the General, cloves hit her nose and it felt like coming home.
It was a bedroom, she looked around and although it was pretty barren she still noticed a few things that seemed like they all belonged to various time periods.
Her gaze came back to the General who was looking at her with a soft expression, “If it’ll help and if you’re comfortable you can sleep here tonight.”
“But isn’t this your room?”
Alder took a step towards her and Tally straightened at her proximity. A gentle hand coming up to cup her face.
“I felt you, Tally, I wasn’t sure at first. But I felt your grief and your fear, your loneliness. And...your need to see me. Was your nightmare about me?”
Tally didn’t want to talk about it because if she did she was just going to cry again but how could she deny her General when she was looking at her like that, like she did in her nightmare, with so much acceptance and warmth.
With love.
“I dreamt that I killed you, I didn’t mean to, it just happened. And nobody was around to help and you never blamed me. You just looked at me the way you are now.”
Alder stepped even closer, filling all of her space, “Like how?”
Tally choked out tears again and pressed her face into her chest and hugged her, “With acceptance and pride. I didn’t understand how you could look at me after I had done such a thing, even with the blood on my hands. You still just looked at me with such love. And I just wanted to know that you were okay, so that’s why I was standing outside your door. I know this must sound ridiculous to you.”
She felt those strong arms wrap around her, reassuring her of her presence, “I am still very much alive, Tally. I know that we have had this rift between us and there’s something here, now, that transcends any connection and goes beyond cadet and general. Wouldn’t you say so, dear?”
Tally just nodded into her chest and cried until she couldn’t cry anymore and the soothing motion of Sarah’s hand brushing through her hair made her realize how tired she was. She could sleep right here standing up if only Sarah let her.
“You’re not falling asleep on me yet, Craven,” there was a hint of amusement in Alder's voice.
Tally leaned back and mumbled something unintelligible as she yawned back into Alder’s chest, snuggling in.
“Yes, well, as comfortable as that may appear to be for you I’m going to need you to get in the bed, Tally.”
Tally groaned but pulled away nonetheless, “Are you sure, it’s okay?”
“I wouldn’t have offered it if it wasn’t, but only if it's okay with you.”
Tally nodded and unzipped her hoodie, placing it gently on the chair in the corner of the room and Tally smiled at her cute little teacup sitting on the table next to the chair.
Must be sentimental.
She kicked off her boots and neatly placed them to the side, turning to find that Sarah had disappeared into her side bathroom.
Tally realized as she pulled back the covers how small the bed was, was she really going to share this small bed with her? And she only had one pillow, she honestly wasn’t even sure if the General even slept till now. Tally found her room very cute and although there was little to it she felt she could learn so much about her just from looking at the little things.
Tally lay her head down on half the pillow, turning to her side and letting her eyes fall shut, taking in the scent of cloves and smiling to herself. She heard the door open and the light flick off and the blankets on the very short distance to the other side of the bed pull back and the warmth of the older woman pressed against her back.
A hand wrapping around her stomach and pulling her close, she felt a warm breath ghost across her ear as Alder spoke.
“Is this okay, Tally?”
Tally only nodded and smiled into the pillow beneath her. She felt Sarah lay her head on the pillow behind her.
“So no more nightmares tonight. I’ll be right here.”
Tally hummed in agreement and shivered as Sarah started running her fingers through her hair.
I love you. I do.
And Tally knew she did too, they’d say it aloud someday when the time was right. With that last thought she fell asleep in those strong arms.
No nightmares, only them dreaming together. No blood and no death. Laughter, sunrise dancing in each other's arms, these were the types of dreams that both would sleep for.
Until Alder woke first to happy tears in her eyes, brushing the hair away from the girl's face and placing a kiss on her forehead.
Tally would awake to an empty bed, a message left for her saying she would return soon and to rest longer. Tally only smiled and rolled over, pressing the scent of the pillow into her face and breathing her in before falling back into a blissful sleep.
Being woken not too long after, to breakfast in bed, Tally rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stared at the woman.
“I must admit I got some strange stares today asking for this so you better eat it all, I don’t get breakfast in bed for just anyone.”
Tally sat up and took the tray just staring at her, “Wow, who knew you could be a romantic.”
Alder raised an eyebrow at that, “I’m 300 years old Tally, not inhuman, I’ve had some romance in my day.”
Tally only giggled and grabbed a strawberry and took a bite, “Do you miss eating? Do you remember the taste of things?”
Alder smirked and moved in grasping at Tally’s chin and kissed her fiercely, her tongue diving into the strawberry juice filled mouth of hers. Releasing her and smirking down at a stunned redhead with strawberry juice on her mouth.
“I’ll remember the taste of that,” Alder took her handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed at Tally’s mouth before handing her the napkin.
“Oh, um, thank you,” Tally only blushed as she accepted the handkerchief that she’d eventually keep to herself.
“Now, eat up, I have plans for you cadet,” Alder only smiled as she stood looking out the window nursing a cup of tea.
Tally couldn’t eat quickly enough.