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“Kira-san, I’m home! And I brought dinner, Chinese food like you asked! Sorry to be this late, the new assistant professor’s a real hardass to the advanced class and–”
Silence.
Nothing but unnatural stillness welcomed Josefumi Kujo as he hung his keychain by the entrance and slid out of his well-worn sneakers. He was sort of used to the quiet, empty flat by now, after months of cohabitation with his beloved Kira-san, but every now and again being greeted by sepulchral silence felt so haunting and wrong, like the apartment itself was ignoring him and refusing his presence.
Feeling disheartened and a bit lonely, Josefumi dragged his feet to the kitchen’s counter, where he plopped the warm containers full of fried rice, leek liver stir fry, and gyoza aplenty. He sighed, staring blankly at the emptiness that surrounded him, and his lonesome body felt like it might disassemble if he dared to sigh again. But as he slowly paced towards the living room, upon further inspection of the silence, he thought he could vaguely hear the sound of running water coming from somewhere…
“Gah!” Josefumi screamed as he heard a loud cry, much like a baby’s, desperately trying to catch his attention. “What the hell was that?” he muttered to himself, clutching his chest like a church lady. The cry echoed through the living room once again, now longer and sounding more urgent. It made Josefumi’s skin crawl. “Where is that coming fr– Oh?”
The student’s eyes had been darting around the clearly empty living room when they finally stumbled upon… a lean, shiny black cat, staring straight at him from behind the balcony’s sliding window. The small animal looked miffed, its slim tail impatiently hitting the balcony tiled floor with the same intensity of someone tapping their foot. Totally dumbfounded, Josefumi couldn’t help but to approach the window and stare at the cat. Its big blue eyes seemed to drill holes into Josefumi’s soul, capturing all of his attention and beckoning him to open the sliding window. The little feline even went as far as pawing the glass to make its point crystal clear.
“Ah… what do I do?” Josefumi mumbled quizzically, kneeling by the window and pressing his index finger against the glass. The cat reacted by trying to smell said finger, then trying to touch it. And when it realised it was being barred by this cold, invisible barrier, the loud meowing and insistent pawing resumed.
“Hey buddy, why do you want to get in here?” Josefumi asked, starting to feel truly sorry for the little creature. Was it cold, or hungry? Or maybe it was lost? His gentle, nature-loving heart ached for the cat, but he also knew for a fact that Kira-san wouldn’t like a new, hairy addition to the apartment, even if it was temporary. “I’m sorry, kitty, but Kira-san won’t–”
The cat cut him off loudly, just as Kira-san’s name left his lips. The long, pitiful wail almost sounded like a desperate cry for help. Its strained notes made Josefumi queasy, his bones rattling uncomfortably inside him. Somehow, this noisy cat was having a big effect on him.
“Ki–kitty, I… I really can’t, sorry,” he apologised again, actually trying to appeal to the cat’s… reasoning? Was he really trying to chat with a cat? Furthermore, was he actually trying to let the cat down easy? Josefumi, you’re crazy, he could clearly imagine Kira-san telling him off. The mere thought made the young man sigh and continue his human-feline negotiations as the cat kept complaining. “Mr. Cat, please stop meowing. Kira-san will get mad if you… You. You kinda look like– Huh?”
Josefumi darted upwards and took a good, hard gander at the cat once again. That shiny, rich black fur. That lean, elegant figure. Those small, soft looking paws, tipped with sharp, shiny claws. And those intense blue eyes, all too expressive and big to belong to a normal cat… was this cat, this tiny feline, was it actually…
“Kira-san? Is that you??” Josefumi nearly screamed at the cat, startling it. The cat’s reaction after the small jump was to meow into a yawn, then stretch out for the young man to see. Stunned, Josefumi dropped to his knees and further observed the small creature, looking closely for any signs of sapience. His answer came in a series of incredible gestures coming from the black cat, gestures that made the young man snap the window wide open.
As Josefumi watched attentively, the feline cocked its little head sideways, placed a single paw on the window and let out a single, controlled meow while staring directly into the student’s eyes. The cat seemed to be speaking to him and only him, calling out to him, trying his best to break through this communication barrier and convey a message. That message being, ‘It’s me, Josefumi. It’s Yoshikage Kira. Let me in.’ And he obeyed.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t– Oh… Ah… thank you? Or, um, you’re welcome?” Josefumi fumbled to say as the cat shortly bowed its head and entered the apartment like it owned the place. But before it started poking around the flat, the kitty showed its gratitude by rubbing against the student’s legs and bumping its head against his shins while purring. It took Josefumi everything he had not to pet the kitty’s little head. ‘Don’t patronise him, this is Kira-san. He’s just… getting used to this body.’
“Nya!” the cat exclaimed, its beady eyes once again fixed on Josefumi. After getting the young man’s attention, the cat sank its needle sharp claws into his left leg, stretched once more, then jumped on the couch and sat exactly where Josefumi expected it to, on Kira-san’s spot.
“Ouch,” Josefumi mumbled with some delay, barely aware of the bloody mess of scratches that awaited under his pants sleeve. Cautiously, he walked towards the long black sofa and sat by the cat, almost afraid to make eye contact with it again. His mind was racing with both questions and hypothetical answers to those very questions, to the point that just glancing at the cat gave him a bit of a headache.
For starters, how the hell had this… metamorphosis happened? ‘Enemy stand, of course. I should be wary of our surroundings,’ he deduced quietly, and made a point to keep an eye on the balcony for any signs of movement. Next, how dangerous were the effects of this transformation? Was it even reversible? He’d certainly have to defeat the enemy to figure that one out, he settled with a firm nod. And most importantly, if this really was Kira-san, then was he currently… naked?
“Mrrp,” the black cat chirped, catching the student’s attention. Man and cat held each other’s gaze for a long, meaningful second, before the cat raised one of its hindlegs over its head and started grooming itself zealously.
“Oh my god, Kira-san, please!” Josefumi exclaimed, covering his whole face with his hands and averting his eyes. He could feel his cheek and ears getting red hot. Still, he decided all this cat behaviour was a serious issue. ‘He was acting so desperately human just a second ago, and now he’s, well, acting like a cat. Maybe… his human mind is slipping away! Yes! This must be a race against time, I must–’
Josefumi’s mental ramblings came to a screeching halt once he noted Kira-san’s little paws over his thigh just as a loud whistling reached his pinkish ears. Startled by the touch and noise (and clearly overreacting), the student took out his stand and waited, eyes stuck to the sliding window. It was ajar. Outside, a violent gust of wind made the nearby trees hiss and crackle. And there it was again, a single monotone note invading the living space. Josefumi felt his own heart reach his throat as the cat meowed again. “Shh, Kira-san. Stay still, I think the Enemy is– huh?”
The black cat jumped into Josefumi’s lap with little regard, to then stand on its outstretched hind legs. The cat’s small head nudged against Josefumi’s chin and jawline twice, before the creature started kneading the young man’s shirt (and chest) while loudly purring. Josefumi stayed frozen in place as his pulse slowly decelerated, the motor-like vibration emanating from the kitty soothing his fearful, yet brave heart. Eventually, the young man gave up any pretense of dignity and just wrapped his arms around the small cat, enclosing its tiny body close to his. He was on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry this happened to you, Kira-san. I– I’ll solve it, I’ll save you for sure I promise. I… need to tell you that– Ah! Not now. Listen, you don’t have to worry about me, I’ll be fine. But now, I need to keep you safe. I need to fight whatever’s waiting for me on the balcony and–”
“What the hell are you going on about, Kujo?”
From a wave of steam that quickly dissipated emerged… Yoshikage Kira. His body was cozily wrapped in a luxurious bathrobe and his hair still damp and shiny, probably covered with some post-shower hair treatment oil. Whatever little skin was exposed to the view, his face, neck, hands, seemed to glow with a healthy, luscious sheen. Yet with his arms crossed, his eyebrows raised, and his left foot tapping rhythmically, the sailor turned into the picture of skepticism.
Josefumi gulped, feeling immediately guilty, but still very much confused. Was he seeing double? Didn’t he have Kira-san right between his arms, in cat form? Slowly, but surely, the very obvious ‘truth’ started to dawn on him. “Ki–kira-san? But how?” he asked anyway, sounding much more incredulous than he intended. His mouth hadn’t quite caught up to his unravelling thoughts, he realised. That, and he probably was about to get screamed at.
“While you were monologuing here, I was in the shower. Didn’t you hear the hairdryer or the running wa– what the hell is that mangy cat doing in here?!” he suddenly noticed, jumping backwards and nearly bumping into the kitchen counter at the sight of it.
‘Oh, he reacted just like cat Kira-san did,’ he reflected, his thoughts painfully cut short by the cat’s claws digging into his chest. It seemed that this Kira-san and the real Kira-san didn’t like each other much, as evidenced by the cat’s puffed up tail, loud hissing, and the fact that he was barely holding him down with both hands on his back. “Ah, ouch! Don’t, please! I’m sorry!”
“Why are you apologising to that thing? Throw the cat outside, Josefumi!” Yoshikage insisted, regaining his footing and turning his steps towards the living room, causing even more distress for the small black cat. “God damnit, why would you even let that menace into the flat in the first place?”
“No no, let me explain, ouch! He was so nice before you started screa– I mean, talking,” Josefumi fumbled to say, with the cat’s claws now swinging dangerously close to his face.
“I’m not screaming, you are! You two! Get that thing to stop yowling like that! No, you better get it out this second or I’ll blow it up with my stand, I swear!” the sailor warned, pointing at the animal with a deadly glint in his eye.
“GAH! Okay, okay! Just let me– Soft and Wet!” Josefumi pleaded, all too confused and aching to properly form a sentence. With his stand out, he removed the cat’s loud voice for a moment, then swung the window open and plopped the snarling black beast onto the tiles. “There, he’s outside. Please don’t hurt him,” he begged, closing the window himself.
“It’s not a he, it’s a she. Her name’s Cacao, a stupid name for a cat that isn’t brown nor looks like chocolate at all,” Yoshikage huffed, much less stressed now that the invader was expelled. He stuck out his tongue at it, and continued, “Now tell me why the hell did you let the neighbour’s nosy cat into the apartment when I’ve explicitly told you countless times NOT to let it inside?”
“The neighbour’s… He’s a she? I don’t understand, I thought you– I mean, I really thought he, well she…” Josefumi mumbled dazed, half to himself, half as an honest attempt at an answer. After staring at the clearly vexed cat and equally vexed human beside him, Josefumi’s thoughts managed to fall in line. With a deep breath, he confessed, “I thought you had turned into a cat.”
“What?” the doctor simply retorted, his blank expression selling his utter disbelief. “How?”
“Stand attack?” the student followed up, giving his elder a pitiful look.
A full body sigh shook Yoshikage Kira to the point he had to collapse on the couch out of sheer second-hand embarrassment. With one palm firmly planted over his eyes, he blindly spoke, “Josefumi, didn’t you think of checking, say, any of the rooms in the flat before assuming I was turned into a cat?” In between his fingers, Yoshikage saw the student shake his head. He also noted that tiny specks of blood were seeping into his shirt. “You’re not the sharpest tool in the box, now are you?”
“I’m not dumb, I just… I– the cat! It’s timing was too… perfect, too good to be coincidental. It really was like talking to, um, to you. The resemblance was uncanny, I swear,” Josefumi tried to explain, hesitating on every other word. He was starting to feel pretty silly, being tricked by an overacting cat and all.
“So speaking with me is like talking to the neighbour’s dumb cat?” Yoshikage reworded, crossing his arms again. The couple of cat hairs he saw floating around the air made him even more cross.
“He’s not dumb, he’s actually quite compelling. She, I mean she. Cacao-san, she’s a smart cookie. Very emotionally manipulative,” Josefumi described while looking at the cat. Her big blue eyes shifted warily between him and Kira-san, as if she was doubtful about trying to get back inside. Josefumi smiled at the cunning little creature, only to realise he basically had called Kira-san a ‘cunning little creature’ too. “Not saying that you are like that, of course!” he hastily corrected. “Oh, but there’s more. Once she was indoors, this strange high pitched sound started ringing in my ears. How could I not think that was some sort of attack?”
“Good God, Josefumi, you mean that annoying whistling noise this window makes when left ajar while it’s windy?” Yoshikage asked right back, and as if the elements themselves wanted to further shame him, a violent gust produced the very same shrill sound both men were referring to. Josefumi’s face was bright red by then. “That’s why you have to properly latch the sliding windows after closing them, otherwise they roll back open and… we get this mess, apparently.”
“I’m sorry! I was just worried! About… you, y’know. I thought maybe that you were in trouble, that’s all. Sorry for the misunderstanding,” Josefumi finally ceded, thoroughly humiliated. His eyes looked almost tearful. “I’m sorry for being such an idiot,” he apologised one last time, wiping his eyes before anything would leak out.
“Ahh, don’t– do that, you’re breaking my heart. Shush,” Yoshikage tried to amend, as he stood up from the couch and wrapped his arms around Josefumi’s maimed torso. Unable to get much from a hug, he opted to cup the young man’s face on his hands and kiss his cheeks and lips until the young man's held back whimpers subsided. “Thank you for your concern, I guess… And sorry for being so mean. But please use your brain a little more next time, okay? Now show me where that awful cat scratched you aside from up here,” he asked, peeking under Josefumi’s shirt to find a mess of bright red lines over his tanned skin. “These need disinfecting right now, we can eat later. I don’t want you catching bartonella or toxoplasmosis.”
“Toxoplasmosis? But Cacao-san is a house cat. I doubt she’s carrying anything dangerous, Kira-san. She’s so polite…” Josefumi mumbled in between kisses, completely absorbed by the tenderness Kira-san was doling out to him.
“Polite? Are you kidding me, Kujo? That mongrel treated you like a scratching pole not five minutes ago,” Yoshikage complained, going back to his knitted brows and miffed expression. Yet the young man didn’t seem to be all there at the moment, judging by his half-closed eyes and his woozy smile. At least he looked much happier now, the doctor settled for. “Truth be told, you never know with cats. They tend to be asymptomatic even whilst carrying a myriad of mind-altering parasites. All we can do is… exert caution when coming in close contact with them,” he concluded, letting go of Josefumi’s face in favour of taking his hand and dragging him to the kitchen counter. After gesturing to him to sit tight and uncover the scratches, Yoshikage turned his attention towards the refrigerator, to grab the first aid kit stashed on top of it.
Josefumi quietly obeyed, while sadly staring at the soggy-looking takeout trays, damp with condensation and growing colder by the minute. “Our food’s getting cold… Kira-san, do you not like cats?” he asked as he took off his shirt, revealing the full extent of the damage. The more superficial, but longer cuts stretched from his shoulder all the way down to his left nipple. The deeper gashes, where Cacao-san’s claws had really dug in, were right below his clavicle and stung like hell. “I think I have some scratches down here too,” he mumbled speculatively, whilst carefully rolling up his trousers. The wounds down there were more punctures than scratches, little bright red dots of blood, some of which trickled down for about an inch. “Yup, I do. Ouch.”
“I don’t particularly care for cats, no. But that’s my opinion for most animals in general, an opinion that extends up to most of humanity as well,” Yoshikage commented, sounding as detached as ever. As he concentrated on soaking a cotton ball with dark povidone iodine, he added, “Don’t worry about the food, we can reheat it later. Right now, all you have to do is stay still and weather out the pain, okay? Your integrity is my number one priority.”
‘And yours is mine, always,’ Josefumi thought in silence, bracing himself for the upcoming discomfort. But it didn’t quite come, it never truly hurt whenever Kira-san treated him. Nothing he did could ever hurt him.