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Oswald had waited too long, waited way too long. When Edward went out that night and had gone to collect wine, he met a woman, Isabella, who was a dead ringer (ha ha, 'dead ringer') for Ed's ex-girlfriend, Miss Kristen Kringle, that was the night in which he was going to confess his love for Edward - A man comes to a crossroads in his life, and he has to make a choice, yadda, yadda, yadda, yeah. He remembers the speech he came up with very well, but Ed never showed up. He spent twelve hours panicking and worrying about Ed, about where he was, and it turned out, he met Isabella, he met her and fell in love. If Oswald was honest, he hates her, despises her, and he nearly killed her, nearly ended her, nearly told Gabe to cut the brake wires on her car, the only thing that stopped him was ironically, and unknowingly, Ed. Ed had told him how happy he was, and yes, Oswald was worried Ed would kill her, Ed was worried he would kill her, but he was happy, and so, he let her live.
He wish he hadn't.
They're getting married, and Oswald is Ed's best man, (that was a fun conversation - not!
"Oswald!" Edward had ran into his office, a bright smile on his face.
Oswald believed he would be too if he was marrying the love of his life in less then two weeks, "yes?"
"As you know, I'm getting married, and I thought..." Ed smiled, giggling, and Oswald couldn't help but be enamoured, "and well... I want to be up there with two people who I love most in the world. I want you to be my best man..."
"You want me to be your best man?" Oswald asked, smiling, touched. But, he hated it, it means he wasn't marry Ed, some other bitch was, a bitch who he met less than six months ago.
"Yes, if you want," smiled Ed.
Oswald had stood, smiling all fake, "I would be honoured, my friend.")
This means he has to make a speech.
Edward Nygma, and soon to be Isabelle Nygma.
Oswald sighed, with a fake plastic smile on his face, as he stood to the side, watching as they exchanged vows, and slipping on rings. Ed was in a sharp, black tuxedo, with a white button up, with a black waist coat, and a dark green bow tie, black shiny shoes, and his hair was slicked back, and a handkerchief in his top pocket. He was handsome, so handsome, all smiles and beautiful. (And, she was in some white, plain dress - boring, her hair now blonde again and curled, framing her face - ew.)
They slipped the rings on, and kissed, and everyone clapped, as did Oswald. The golden band on his finger was simple and plain, way too plain, way too boring, not at all Ed's style.
As they all sat at the table, and there was speeches, first up was Isabella's father - whoever he was, and Oswald looked around, feeling like a wax figure. Jim and Harvey was there, as was Barbara, Olga and Gabe, a few other of Oswald's lackeys, Bruce Wayne was here, as well as Alfred, and Bruce brought a plus one - Selina Kyle. It was lovely, to be fair. A lovely ceremony.
The bridesmaids were pretty and well dressed in green, and the speech Isabella's father made was emotional as everyone was tearing up, clapping, and Ed looked thankful - the father must have excepted him into the family - and everyone clapped, so Oswald joined in.
Oswald's stomach churned uncomfortably, twisted and bubbled with bile, his face white. He had to make a speech. He had to make a speech, and congratulate Ed and Isabella. How could he? He should have told Ed, should have told Ed how he feels, and as he stood up to make his speech, he realised, he wasn't going to congratulate them... he was going to tell Ed how he feels, and he'll leave before Isabella and the bridesmaids attacked him.
Everyone went silent and looked to Oswald, and Oswald looked to Ed, who looked at him, the two staring at each other softly.
"Edward Nygma... when I met you, you was a nervous, jittery looser, a nobody, you saved my life in those woods despite me being mean to you, and I'm so happy you did..." Oswald smiled, and Ed smiled back, "you're my best friend, and trust is so hard to find in Gotham; but I trust you. You helped me with becoming mayor, you helped me rise to the top, honest and true, you helped me find my real friends, and I'm so happy it's you." He swallowed, he knew he had to do it, "Ed. A man comes to a crossroads in his life, and he has to make a choice. Does he choose safety and cowardice?" Ed stopped smiling, and was now frowning in confusion, as Oswald kept talking. "Or does he opt for courage and risk everything? I choose courage." Ed looked worried, and Oswald almost backtracked, almost swallowed his words back, but he didn't. "What I'm trying to say is..." His heart was slamming against his ribs, "the thing I've been wanting to tell you for so long is..." He stared at Ed, who stared back, eyes wide in realisation and finally, finally he saw how angry and furious Isabella and the bridesmaids looked. "I love you."
Everyone gasped, and Isabella was stood, teeth bared in anger and the other women got ready to back Isabella up.
Ed just kept staring up at him, and whispered in shock, "Oswald, what are you doing?"
"I've been in love with you since you saved me, and I only realised it when you jumped in front of me, and nearly died by Butch's hands. I should have kissed you that night on the sofa, not hugged you, and I'm sorry for that. I was going to tell you that night I invited you to dinner, but you met Isabella..." Oswald said, swallowing. No doubt Isabella was going to strangle him, "I'm so sorry I'm telling you this now, but you had to know." He limped off, walking away from the tables, and he looked to Ed, who was staring at him with a wide eyed stare, "I love you. I thought you should know... I hope you and Isabella," he put subtle emphasis on the 'a', so Ed knew he was being serious, "have a happy life together." He smiled and walked off, and out of the reception.
He sighed, and slouched, sitting on the steps of the reception, and he pulled his tie loose and unbuttoned the top few buttons, his blazer hanging off his shoulders and his hair dishevelled.
He could hear frantic, and loud footsteps running down the path, and frantically loud yelling. Oswald sighed, he could tell, this was it, he was going to die, Isabella and the angry crowd of bridesmaids, and wedding goers, and Ed were running at him ready to kill him. He stood and turned, ready to accept death with a warm embrace - at least he would see his mother again, when he realised, that wasn't the bride. It was, "Ed?"
Ed was running to him, bow tie loose and dangling around his neck, his blazer undone and top two buttons undone, hair curled like when he first met Ed, and Ed yelled, "Oswald! Start the car!"
Oswald's face turned from confusion, to shock, eyes opening wide, "what?!" That's when he saw Isabella running after Edward, screaming and yelling, chasing him.
"Get in the car!" Ed yelled, speeding up with a wide smile on his face, and that kick started Oswald, who limped quickly to the car, getting in the drivers side, and Ed got in the passenger side, sliding over the hood to get to it, and he got in.
"What are you doing?" Oswald asked, eyes wide in shock.
"If I could go back and make it to that meal, I would come, if I could go and kiss you on that sofa I would." Ed said, voice soft, "I would do anything for you, and... damn it, I'm choosing courage too." Ed swallowed, and Oswald couldn't believe it, not even when Ed took his hand in his, squeezing gently, "Ozzie?"
Oswald leaned over the barrier, and gently kissed Ed's lips, and Ed kissed back, and Penguin hummed, relishing the softness and mint flavour of Riddler's lips. Oswald pulled back, "I love you..."
"I love you too," Ed smiled, his eyes flitting over Oswald's shoulder, and his eyes widened, "drive! Drive! We gotta go!" He tugged off his wedding ring.
Oswald turned, and saw nearly the whole venue was running at them, and Isabella was closer, three steps from the car, and so, Oswald floored it, speeding off down the road, and saw Ed throw his ring out of the window.
The two looked behind them, as Oswald drove off, watching as the angry crowd got smaller, and they looked to each other, eyes wide, and they threw their heads back and laughed, smiling with wide smiles, and took each others hands, looking to the front of the car again, as they kept laughing.