Work Text:
"Nie Huaisang, didi.
There are things I can't tell you, so I try to push you to train as if that's how you're supposed to understand. However, it's not that simple, is it?
So I thought I would write you a letter. One day you will read it. There is something I want you to know.
I'm proud of you, didi.
I know I don't tell you this often, in fact not at all, but you never give me the opportunity to do so, doing something that only irritates me, and we both know how that ends.
I'm not happy with you skipping class, cheating on tests and hanging around with Wei Wuxian. However, I'm proud of how you are able to fight for the things that are important to you.
You got that from your mum. She was always able to get our father to do something she thought was best for us. She was always right, so nobody complained. You remind me a lot of her.
I know you're not stupid. You're my brother, I know you better than you think. I also know that you guess what's going on with me. I see that you don't smile so carefree anymore.
You hide behind a fan more and more, afraid of me. Know that I wouldn't forgive myself if I ever hurt you. However, it is difficult to control the spirit of the sabre.
That is why I wanted you to improve your cultivation level. I wanted you to always be safe, and if the sabers of our clan wanted your life, to be able to defy them.
I apologize if I was too harsh.
I'm trying to do everything I can to make sure you are not left alone with this. I will overcome it, you can leave it to me, you don't have to be afraid. No sabre spirit will take control of me.
Someday, unfortunately, my end will also come. I know you can handle it. You won't be alone after all, you have friends you can trust. Don't cut yourself off from them.
You don't have to be the one to be strong and keep everything to yourself. There is nothing wrong with asking others for help, with relying on them. Whatever ever happens, remember that you are not alone.
Now da-ge will take care of everything while you focus on learning and forming your core.
Find your path of cultivation.
I'm glad you are my brother.
Nie Mingjue."
The letter fell quietly on the low table in the Sect Leader Nie's room. The man sitting beside it covered his face with his hands, trembling from a restrained sob. He couldn't let anyone hear him.
The pain he felt in his chest only intensified, forcing the man to sob. To stifle a moan of despair, he clenched his teeth on the sleeve of his robe. A discarded fan lay on the floor beside him.
Why had he never told him these words? Why had he written them down as a letter that he had never handed him? Why...?
The man grabbed the Sect Leader Nie's outer robe, heading to the bed on his knees.
There he curled up, hugging his face to the robe, breathing in its scent, surrounding himself with its empty sleeves as if they were his arms. More tears poured down the man's cheeks as it hit him how empty and cold sleeves were.
They were never to be put on the same person again. He was no longer there. A quiet, trembling whisper filled the void, sinking into the robes of the deceased Sect Leader Nie.
"Da-ge…"