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They were sitting on the grass, their backs leaning against a tree while they leaned their shoulders against one another. Their legs were stretched out in front of them, and both were lazily nudging a volleyball back and forth with their feet—though with Kageyama’s legs being much longer than Hinata’s, it was hardly effortless. Most times the ball hit Kageyama’s foot and rolled out of Hinata’s reach; his back was slowly sliding down the try as his toes reached out with frustration. This also made leaning against each other a bit harder, so by this point Hinata’s head was now resting on Kageyama’s chest, his neck craned as he attempted to touch yet another mis-kicked volleyball.
“You suck at this,” Kageyama chuckled, a smug smirk adorning his features. That little snort of condescension earned a frustrated groan out of the smaller boy, and he suddenly kicked forward and sent the ball flying away. Kageyama began laughing.
“It’s your fault for having such long legs! Go get the ball back!”
A crisp wind blew through the leaves of their tree, and Hinata unconsciously leaned into Kageyama’s side. Kageyama pulled an arm around him and brought him closer, not quite meeting eye contact as he did so.
“Don’t wanna. I’ll get it on the way back.”
They were dating. Maybe not even that—they had yet to use the word explicitly. But they liked each other, and they both knew it. There was a spark between them, a connection that was impossible to ignore. And in these stupid moments resting together after they practiced volleyball, their closeness had a certain air of intimacy.
But they would not use the word. If there was one thing Kageyama had learned about high school, it was that no one who dated ever stayed together by graduation. It just didn’t happen. So while they could find some fierce satisfaction in each other’s company for now, at one point it would probably fade away, and they would be normal friends again. And then they would find other people.
Kageyama knew he didn’t want to deal with the drama that came with breaking up, and he doubted Hinata did either. Surely, he understood the curse of high school relationships just as well as he did, even with his subpar intellect. Everyone knew. And for that reason, they wouldn’t get too close. They wouldn’t make anything too official. They would just tacitly understand, and they would wait.
~~~
Around their second year, Kageyama was feeling anxiety gnaw away at him.
They had been stuck in relationship limbo seemingly forever, which was not actually a bad place to be. But Kageyama was nervous—nervous about just how intense his feelings were. He was falling for the trap, and he knew it, and he knew that if he fell completely, everything would fall apart. Maybe not at first, but eventually. Falling would happen.
Now when the leaned close together in the cold, it was not a gentle warmth that he felt spread through him—it was a fire. Little touches that had satisfied him before now left him violently starving. He had begun keeping eye contact a bit too long, staring and spacing out during class, leaning a bit too close only to pull back befuddled and tongue-tied. That voice, that smile, pretty much everything about Hinata was beginning to trigger some sort of all-consuming agitation that wouldn’t disappear.
Kageyama was beginning to make mistakes, being a bit too aggressive some moments and a bit too affectionate others, pushing a few tacit boundaries they had made, making Hinata uncomfortable. Frustration was making him irritable and subject to many stupid decisions. It was an awkward, obnoxious, and uncomfortable way to live when they were attempting to interact ‘platonically’.
“Kageyama, hurry up!” At the voice, Kageyama snapped out of his thoughts—volleyball practice had just ended, and he was supposed to be changing so he could walk home with Hinata. Muttering darkly under his breath, he hurriedly threw his shirt over his head.
Soon they came together, one walking a bike and the other walking his own stupid thoughts. Kageyama cast Hinata a sidelong glance, a bit envious of his carefree attitude.
“Hey, why are you looking at me like that?? What’s with the scary face?”
Attempting to wipe off his expression, he responded with a noncommittal grumble. Hinata nudged the other with his shoulder.
“You’ve been thinking a lot lately.”
“As opposed to what? I always think.”
“No you don’t, you never think! So what’s on your mind?”
Kageyama opened his mouth to make the natural ‘look who’s talking’ rebuttal, but Hinata bumped him again with his shoulder. “Don’t dodge the question, Kageyama!”
“It’s nothing.”
“Like hell!”
“Then I was thinking about how bad your receives were today.”
Hinata let out an exasperated groan and leaned more heavily against Kageyama’s side, causing the other to struggle to keep upright. This resulted in a pushing competition that lasted the rest of their walk together, and when they separated both had forgotten their earlier conversation.
~~~
“This is impossible! I give up!” A pencil flew across the room as Hinata threw up his hands in defeat; Kageyama had to duck to avoid getting hit.
“Watch it!”
The two had been studying together at Kageyama’s house for a test both were bound to fail, and they had reached the peak of their endurance. Hinata let himself lay on the floor while Kageyama put away all the materials, and soon they were in the middle of their usual banter.
“——and it was like, POWWW!”
“I know. I was there.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t feel it! It was incredible! Ch-chun! Bam!”
He nearly cackled with excitement, leaning his body to hug Kageyama’s side. Kageyama merely sigh and gave the other a smile, his hand unconsciously pushing some wild orange hair out of the other’s face. His fingers traced a path along Hinata’s forehead, before slipping down to cup his cheek. Hinata’s eyes flickered up at him.
“Kageyama?”
He was doing it again—he was making things uncomfortable. Suddenly Kageyama was conscious of how he had been staring into the other’s eyes; an embarrassed heat shot up the back of his neck. But he didn’t want to stop. It was a shred closer to the extra intimacy he had been craving.
The hand that had been resting on Hinata’s cheek slid back behind his ear to hold the back of his head. He let his fingers tangle themselves in Hinata’s hair. A pleasant but hungry warmth was beginning to spawn in his chest, and slowly his face leant in to meet Hinata’s.
Their foreheads touched.
“….I have no idea what I’m doing,” Kageyama conceded, frustration plain in his voice. Hinata nearly screamed and shoved Kageyama into the floor.
“Don’t, don’t do that!! Don’t do that, that was too intense!”
Kageyama lifted his head off the floor, grimacing at Hinata’s repetitive language. “I told you I didn’t really know what I was doing—“
“You knew exactly what you were doing!” Hinata sputtered out. “You know what you were doing and it’s driving me crazy!”
Kageyama ducked his head, his fingers weaving through the strands of the carpet. He felt guilty, embarrassed, and frustrated beyond belief. Of course Hinata was blaming him. After all, he was always able to settle for sidelong smiles, light touches, intimate silences, and all those other things relationship-limbo was made out of. But every time they shared those ‘love-confession-like-but-not-actually-a-love-confession’ sort of words, Kageyama never quite felt satisfied. And then he messed stuff up, like this.
Furrowing his brow at the carpet, he barely heard Hinata’s exasperated sigh. HInata approached Kageyama, casting a momentary shadow over the other before lowering his own body to the ground and nuzzling into his side.
“…Kageyama.”
“What?” Still staring at the floor, he felt the crease in his brow soften. Hinata’s body pressing against his own made everything seem just a bit fuzzier and just a tad faster, but even then he felt twinges of the old relaxation reminiscent pf when they first started feeling fond of each other.
Hinata said nothing for a few moments, probably debating his next line of action. After only a bit of pause he sat up, before snaking his hand around the nape of his neck and pulling Kageyama forward. Kageyama forced himself to stop right before their lips met, and Hinata stared straight into Kageyama’s eyes, asking for permission.
“You’re allowed to kiss me, you know.”
Kageyama jumped back, surprising Hinata. “Wha—since when?!?”
“Since forever, stupid! So stop messing around with me, you’ve been weird all year!”
“But, the rules—-“
Hinata let his head fall back with a frustrated roar. “There were never rules! Stop dragging your feet! I never thought you were so dense! What have I been waiting so long for?!”
Kageyama stared at him for a while, eyes wide and shocked, the gears in his head whirring and clicking together. For a while, he was paralyzed, making sense of it.
But suddenly he was up, startling Hinata with his speed, and within the blink of an eye Kageyama was up in his face, kissing the living daylights out of him. It was hot and intense and relentless, with the hunger of a starving animal.
“Kage—-mmmh! Kageyama!” Hinata wrenched his lips away, gasping for breath, only to be pulled back in for another deep kiss. He let himself drown in the overwhelming sensations for a while, before pushing roughly on Kageyama’s shoulders. “Kageyama! Breathing!”
Sense finally snapped into Kageyama and he stopped, panting loudly. His eyes slowly met Hinata’s, a long and heavy stare that tried to communicate far too much without words.
“I…” he began, before needing to breathe again, suddenly light headed.
“You…?” Hinata offered.
“…Yeah.”
Hinata laughed, making Kageyama grin sheepishly. “Yeah. Okay.” He laughed again, his cheeks still red, and leaned forward to continue where they had left off. Words, as usual, could come later.