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“没事的，Eddy，这只是电影，而且结局也是大团圆结局，我们之前也看过了对吧？”
这只是一个寻常的周二晚上，他们像以往每一次电影夜一样窝在电视机前的沙发上。Eddy提议要看《哈尔的移动城堡》：他们最近的视频里出现了好几次这部电影的主题曲，《人生的旋转木马》，他已经迫不及待地想要重温了。
Brett完全没有注意到Eddy是什么时候开始哭的。可能他就是看着看着就开始掉眼泪了，从一开始默默的啜泣，到影片快要结束的时候实在忍不住索性不忍了，眼睛一摘就哭着扑到了Brett怀里。
Brett一直知道Eddy是个小哭包。当然不是说他总会随时随地乃至在公众场合掉眼泪，Eddy那么内向，他要哭也是会忍到家里，忍到一个不会被别人审视、不会被别人打扰的完全安全的地方，才开始流泪。当然，Brett不是“别人”，他们之间的熟悉程度足以让Eddy在他面前尽情哭泣——尽管这也是在他们认识之后许久才达成的成就。
Eddy现在就正在他面前哭——准确来说是在他怀里。Brett略有些无奈地看着Eddy把大把的鼻涕眼泪糊到他衣服上。幸好他身上穿着的这件纯棉的merch还挺好洗，吸水能力也够强。
“我知道……我就是忍不住……他们真的太美好太温柔了，这样两个小时下来我怎么忍得住嘛……”正片已经结束，屏幕上正播放着演职员表，伴随着片尾的主题曲，《人生的旋转木马》。旋转木马，本来是用来逗小孩子开心的，但Eddy似乎哭得更伤心了。“你看他们那么喜欢对方，喜欢了那么久，从小到大……但是一直到最后大家才明白——我就，我就是忍不住了……”
也是啊。Brett想着。
他们自己不也是这样吗。
这实在是很亚洲——他们总是含蓄的，能用行动说话就不用语言表达。他们不会像其它许多民族的人们那样，轻易地拥抱乃至亲吻，他们甚至很少简单直接又热烈地表白，一个人向另一个人说“我爱你”是那样少见又那样艰难。可是行动是骗不了人的，你爱一个人的时候你的眼睛里都放着光，举手投足之间都是爱意，无从掩饰、无从制止、无处可逃的，爱意。
就像影片的末尾，他们也接吻了，不是吗？
总有一些时候，一些事情是忍不住的——当爱深入骨血，振聋发聩——如果言语不能够，就用行动表达，如果行动也不能够，那大概就只能像现在这样——紧紧拥你入怀。
就像现在的他们。
就像很久以来的他们。
真的很久了。Brett甚至已经记不清Eddy第一次向他展露这样一个脆弱的、爱哭的自己是什么时候发生的事情了。他也不记得具体的场景——他试着去回忆，但脑海中浮现的只有一些模糊的色块。可能一切都转变得太快了，也可能是细水长流、点点滴滴的一桩桩一件件太潜移默化地改变了他们之间的关系。但事实就是这样——从某一瞬间起，Eddy不再在他面前隐藏自己。当着他的面哭得不能自已也好，半夜睡不着抱着被子过来找他也好。像是刺猬收起了满身的刺，向自己心爱的人露出了柔软的肚皮。
演职员表放完了，音乐也结束了，屏幕变黑了，整个屋子归于黑暗与宁静。Eddy仍然窝在Brett的怀里——尽管他比Brett壮了一整圈，这个姿势对他们两个人都一点也不舒服，但他还是一直窝在Brett怀里。Brett无声地叹了口气。他轻轻拍着Eddy的后背安抚着他，一边伸手打开了客厅的灯。
这时Eddy似乎嘟哝了句什么。Brett没听清：“嗯？”
“我就是说，为什么他们最后就都亲在一起了啊……”
Brett又叹了口气。当然是想亲就亲了，哪有什么为什么。但Eddy显然也不是不想亲——说不定他就是想找个借口让他亲他罢了。于是他把Eddy从自己身上拉起来，捧着他的脸，吻去了他睫毛上残留的泪珠。——毕竟他自己也想亲Eddy了。
Eddy眨了眨眼。“还要！”
于是Brett再次吻上了他的眼。
然后是脸颊上的泪痕。
然后Eddy回吻了他。
当Eddy仗着体型优势欺身压上Brett的时候，Brett感受到了属于Eddy的坚硬隔着两层裤子顶在他腿间的温度。这很Eddy Chen，他想，他那么内向，但只要你得到了他的信任，他会把他的心掏出来给你看。比如他是个小哭包，比如他喜欢亲亲抱抱，这些，或许有些奇怪但却惹他怜爱的，心。
至于怎么获得Eddy Chen的信任——
你需要时间，需要空间，当然，还需要很多很多的爱。
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"It's okay, Eddy. It's fine. It's just a movie. I mean, they will have a happy ending, too, you know it right? It’s not the first time we watched it, hey?"
It was yet another movie night, or otherwise a typical Tuesday night, and ten minutes to the end of the movie, Howl's Moving Castle, Eddy was already crying all over the place. Moments ago he was holding Brett's hand tight, trying to withhold the tears but in vain. Then he simply gave up and broke into tears, and was now cuddling into Brett's chest hiding his all-wet face.
Brett had always known that Eddy was pretty much a cry baby. Not that everyone could see his tears, though; he was so introverted, he would always try his best to hold them back in front of others, until he came back to somewhere he considered safe, where he could sob and weep and whine and whatever like crazy, and where no one would care.
Brett wasn't those ’others’, for sure, since a long time ago. And Eddy, now, was literally wiping away his tears with Brett's t-shirt. Thankfully it was their full-cotton merch and pretty absorbent for liquids.
"I just can't… I mean I dunno either, but I just can’t help crying, watching those tender, reserved love scenes for two hours straight… " Another five minutes passed, and the screen was already showing the ending credits, with the background music of Merry-Go-Round Of Life. The music was supposed to cheer people up, but Eddy seemed to cry even harder. "They fell in love before they even realized.. And all those interactions, those intuitive behaviors and words.. I just - I can't - "
Yeah that’s true. Brett thought to himself.
And it was true for themselves, too.
What a stereotypical Asian thing - that kind of reserved love without words. They would never be that easy to kiss, to hug, or even to put into words how much they love each other. It was just a lot harder said than done. Those little things you do, they follow your mind, your love, with nowhere to hide, nowhere to take-flight.
But all those kisses in the end -
There were times, and have always been times, that things just couldn’t be held back anymore. When the emotion was too strong for anyone to handle. Just like Eddy; Eddy wouldn't reserve his tears in front of him - he wouldn't even try. He did try to, years ago, when they were not as good friends as they were now. But Brett couldn’t remember exactly how things changed. It was all a blur, maybe it happened too fast, or maybe too gradually for him to notice. It just felt like all of a sudden, Eddy was revealing every bit of himself in front of him, including his weakest parts, like how much of a cry baby he was sometimes, or how he would seek out Brett’s comfort when he couldn't sleep late at night. All that kind of stuff. As if he was a hedgehog revealing his soft belly in front of his dear, dear best friend.
The credits rolled to an end, and the music stopped, leaving behind only a dark screen, and the whole room went dark. Eddy was still curled up on Brett's belly, ignoring the fact that he was much bigger than him and that curling up like this was not comfy at all. Brett sighed, patted Eddy some more, then reached for the remote control and turned on the lights.
Eddy was mumbling something under his breath. Brett didn’t catch it at first, so he asked him what it was.
"That's not fair.. Why can they kiss so easily like that… "
Brett sighed again. He didn't bother to say "you can too if you want" that kind of thing. Of course Eddy would want it even more than he did himself. So he tugged Eddy up from where he was lying on him, grabbed the back of his head, and kissed away the teardrop lingering on Eddy’s eyelashes.
Eddy blinked. "Can I have some more..? "
So Brett gave him another kiss on his eyelids.
Then another on his cheeks for the trail of wetness.
And Eddy kissed back.
What a typical Eddy Chen thing, Brett thought to himself as he felt that warm, hard thing against his thigh as Eddy crawled up on top of him. He would be introverted, would be a cry baby and a cuddle bug at the same time, but that didn’t really matter. As long as he kept you in his heart, there was no way he wouldn't unravel everything in front of you.
It just took care, a little time, and maybe a lot of love.