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Basil didn't want to take any other step. He really didn't. Somehow he had managed to walk all the way over here, trying to distract himself with other things like how he needed to buy more fertilizer for his wilting old flowers, or how he still needed to properly thank Polly for having taken care of his grandmother.
But in what felt like seconds, the ladder to the treehouse was in front of him. Before Basil's breath started to pick up its pace, he managed to ground himself. He still needed to go up, though. Had to. It's the least he could do, since most probably Kel and Aubrey were already waiting for him.
When Sunny told him about his resolution to face everything head on, back in the hospital, he had decided to do the same. Which is why he ever accepted the invitation a few days ago when Kel asked, knowing perfectly what it was all about going by Kel's body language. He had always been too honest, and Basil too perceptive (or an overthinker, but he didn't want to dwell on that at the moment).
'Ah', Basil thought, 'I'm stalling again.'
He raised his hand, and hesitated.
He remembered Sunny's words, and grabbed the ladder.
"Yo, Basil! I was already thinking that you had ditched us!" Always too honest, Basil repeated to himself fondly.
Before Basil could answer, Aubrey had slapped the back of Kel's head (her bat nowhere to be found, Basil noted with relief) as she stood up from one of the brand new chairs they had bought for their treehouse. "You're way too late!"
"What are you hitting me for!?" Kel was already rubbing the affected zone.
"It's fun? Who cares." She turned her attention back to Basil, deliberately ignoring Kel's protests. "Half an hour. Where the fuck were you, Canada?"
"I'm sorry." He managed to let out, noticing the crack on his voice. He cleared his throat. "Something came up, and..." He trailed off.
She stared. Basil began to fidget when seconds passed and she didn't relent. Thankfully she stopped looking right into his soul soon after, flipping her hair back and sitting down. "Whatever. Sit there." She pointed with her chin in front of her and Kel.
Basil did as told. He felt his heart rate pick up faster than before exiting his house, and tried to calm himself down by taking a few long breaths.
Kel noticed and gave him a warm smile. "Hey man, everything's okay, really! No need to panic." Aubrey side-glanced him. "Alright, maybe not everything, obviously. But we'd just like to ask you some things. Is that okay with you?"
Basil frowned. "Um... I already knew this is what it was about. I'm prepared... I think."
Kel opened his mouth but Aubrey won him to it. "Good. So first question, you are aware that you've got a big lot of loose screws up here, aren't you?" She tapped her temple, maybe to make her comment even more clear.
"Aubrey!"
"What?" She turned to Kel with a scowl. "I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. He agreed to this, so now he's got to suck it up." Basil bit his lip. She was right, he had been waiting for this ever since him and Sunny got discharged a few weeks ago.
After Sunny left Faraway, Kel took the initiative and made plans at least four days a week for the three of them (three, because Hero was visibly missing from their meet-ups. The feeling of knowing he was the only reason to blame gnawed at him).
But even after Kel had said he forgave the both them and Aubrey simply saying she couldn't say anything to them after what she had done (the bullying and drowning ordeal, Basil guessed. He didn't dare take more than he was permitted), there was this strange feeling around them whenever they met up. Like the smiles Kel gave him were forced, and Aubrey's usual abrassiveness was oddly subdued.
He knew the day when they'd tell him they couldn't stand his presence would come sooner rather than later (actually, he'd known way way earlier, even before—)
"Hey." Aubrey's harsh tone snapped him out from... whatever that was. "Are you gonna answer or not?"
"Ah, uh, yeah. Yeah I do know. About my, um. Not so good mental health." He frowned, looking to the side. "It's impressive you guys didn't notice when we were kids."
Kel shrugged. "Well, before and now I wouldn't say you're crazy." Aubrey raised an eyebrow at him. "Seriously! Maybe you're just not good at handling... things?"
"That's the worst attempt at comfort I've ever heard and I'm shit at it." Kel was about to argue back but decided against it. Basil, he reminded himself, they were there to talk about Basil.
"Kel, that's... I appreciate that, but you don't need to lie." He breathed in and faced Aubrey. "I'm not mentally stable, I'm aware. I actually started gardening when I was little because my grandmother said it would help. It's fine, you can be direct. I can take it." Could he? Basil immediately vanished the thought.
Aubrey nodded with a look of satisfaction, while Kel's upturned eyebrows made him look like a kicked puppy, strangely enough. Wasn't Basil the one about to get the hard stuff?
"Now that we've got that covered," Aubrey straightened her back, "why did you do that to Mari?"
If you heard close enough you could hear some cicadas in the distance, indicating the start of summer, but nothing else. Not even their breaths.
Basil's facial expression didn't change, nor did he look away from Aubrey's firm stare. He just blinked, and right after Kel spoke up glancing slightly bemused at Aubrey. "Um, isn't that, like. Too direct?"
"Again," she said, not taking her eyes off of Basil but leaning back, "I will not sugarcoat this. How else would you have asked, dumbass?"
"Uh, maybe 'Hey, I know this may be hard, but could you please give us a recap of that one day?"
Aubrey now did shift her glare to Kel, and huffed. "Well, sorry I'm not all soft and shit. Deal with it, both of you." Her sharp gaze turned to Basil in the blink of an eye, startling him. "So?"
Basil licked his lips. It was... sooner than he would've liked. He thought they'd spare him asking some other unrelated stuff, but they seemed very impatient. Not like he could blame them, though. He'd be freaking out if he was to be in their position, and the fact that they stood him up for weeks after knowing the truth was impressive.
So he took another deep breath, and brought his hands up to the table. He started fiddling with them, trying to gather his thoughts. "It's... it's kind of hard to explain. The why, I mean."
"You can start explaining wherever you want. We'll listen." Kel said, kindly. Right, he's always been very kind, hasn't he? When they were little, every classmate and teacher at the school had always branded him as a dense loud boy, but their group of friends (even Aubrey) knew he was also too good for his own good.
Even to someone like Basil.
He shook his head and started, not wanting to keep them waiting for too long. "I wanted to give Sunny some encouragement before leaving to the auditorium. He was really nervous, remember? Um, so I went to Sunny and Mari's house a little earlier, to give him a surprise." He kept his eyes on his hands. "But when I came in, I could hear yelling even from the entrance." He frowned to himself. "I was very confused because, well. You know them. Mari never got mad at Sunny. Not to that degree at least."
He stopped talking to look up to them, getting an encouraging nod from Kel. He breathed in, and out.
"So I got closer, but then I– I saw Sunny's violin break right at the bottom of the staircase. So I stopped walking, but then Mari started yelling louder, and I don't... can't really remember what she was saying. Something about all of us, and, uh, the violin." He heard Aubrey's breath hitch. Hearing him talk about Mari's last words was difficult even for himself. "She was... really furious. I looked to where they were standing, and Sunny seemed very overwhelmed. S-So, he tried to walk away. He's always hated confrontations, right?" He was starting to ramble, he knew he was. He closed his eyes, trying to regain focus.
I'll face everything head on.
Basil opened them again, glaring a hole into his hands. "It happened too fast. Mari tried to stop him from going by putting herself in front of him, and then suddenly she was at my feet." Aubrey's face became too impassive for someone who just heard (again) how her best friend died (was killed). After a few seconds of silence, Kel's trembling voice told him he could keep going. "I... I-I couldn't take my eyes away from her. I saw her fall. I heard her neck hit the violin. She wasn't moving, and I just... I think my mind went numb, or in denial or something else, because when Sunny started to drag her upstairs and I looked up to him, I couldn't really... see him. I mean, he was there, but my eyes only focused on something behind him."
"Something... behind him?" Kel's voice sounded like a mix of confusion and fear.
"Y-Yeah." Basil gulped. His hands started to shake. He tightened his grip on them to try to supress it, but it wouldn't stop. "I... I guess my mind couldn't take it. Seeing my friend dead right in front of me, and then my best friend... I think I couldn't accept losing them so fast and suddenly, so my brain made something up. Something with a clear figure, just... behind him. The culprit." He decided to look up to them, seeing confusion growing on their expressions. There was also a glint of anger on Aubrey's stare. Basil decided to look back to his hands and keep going. "When I reached their bedroom, he was crying and begging Mari to wake up. He... he was really out of it. At one point Sunny tried to check her pulse but it only made his panic worse and– and that thing was there again staring at both of us and staring and staring and staring and—" He took in a long intake of breath when his lungs begged for air, gathering the reins of his thoughts again. Basil noticed his thumb had started bleeding from all the skin pulling. "And I couldn't take it anymore. Sunny hadn't done anything wrong and they would have blamed Sunny if we stayed there, and I just—"
"You just what?" Aubrey cut in, sharp as a knife. Basil looked to the side, ashamed. "How dare you look aw—!?"
"Aubrey—"
"No." She shut Kel firmly, glaring at Basil. "So basically you made up a what? Monster? And said 'Oh yeah, this makes sense' and believed that shit being this grown up?" She snorted, but it felt more angry than mocking.
Kel frowned at her. "Stop. Now." Aubrey gave him a quick look, tsking afterwards and listening to Kel.
"No, Kel. Let her. This... This is what I deserve. In fact, why aren't you angrier?" He gave Kel a puzzled look. "You should be. I messed up immensely. I shouldn't receive this much kindness. Aubrey's right to hate me so much."
"Hey I—"
He didn't hear Aubrey. "Actually, Sunny mustn't have told you everything, back there. He's always been too nice to blame anyone more than himself." He chuckled, forgetting for a moment where he was.
"What are you talking about?" Aubrey's careful but dangerous tone made him snap his eyes back to them, confusion painted on their faces.
He alternated his eyes between them, just realizing what he had said. Now he'd have to tell them, despite initially having decided to file that away. It was selfish of him (when hadn't he been, anyways?), but at this point he might as well spill everything. It wasn't as if their image of him was even slightly decent.
Basil's gaze shifted to his hands again. He continued pulling at his skin. "When we were leaving... the backyard. I felt like something was wrong. I– I couldn't help it, I looked back to see and I..." He closed his eyes shut, making the memory more vivid than he'd like to. He breathed deeply, forcing his eyes open to look at them. "She was staring back at us."
On cue he received a punch in the face from Aubrey, catching him off-guard and making him fall from the chair. Kel's face morphed into a horrified one, mind too busy reeling with the new information to care about stopping Aubrey, who was fuming.
"Wha–" She let an unbelieving chuckle, bringing a hand to her face to rub it. "So you're telling me that— you not only came up with that fucked up plan— because it is— but you didn't care to check correctly if she was still alive?" Her hands were frantic, trembling with the barely supressed rage she kept from seeping through her voice.
Kel tugged lightly at Aubrey's sleeve. "It was... they must have done it but... and they were... panicked a-and..." His own voice seemed distant, not truly sure of what he was saying.
Aubrey freed herself easily from him. "Fuck off. Too shocked? Too scared? I don't give a damn! Mari could've been saved!" Her eyes found Basil again, who hadn't gotten up from the floor and was looking down. "You—" She laughed again, all of her contained anger slowly coming out as she pulled at her hair. "What if she was conscious the whole time!? What if she was just knocked out!? Do you fucking understand!?" She slammed the table with her hands, leaning in to glare with frenetic eyes at Basil. "You truly are a fucking murderer! You murdered our friend! Congrats!"
This time Kel grabbed Aubrey harder, catching her off-guard enough to sit her down forcefully. "I know you're angry." He said, staring at Basil with a complicated look. "Please just... hang on."
Aubrey was about to protest, but Basil's almost unaudible murmur made her narrow her eyes at him.
"What—?"
"We'll never know." He choked on his words. He got up slowly, and stared back at Aubrey with the most miserable look she had ever seen on him. "I'm so sorry."
"You—"
Kel tugged harder, knowing she was going to explode again, but kept looking at Basil in the eyes even if Basil had looked away from them again.
After a handful of seconds, Aubrey relatively calmed down. Basil quietly sat down on the chair again, however Kel noticed how much more lost he looked, straing blankly at the table.
As more seconds in silence passed, Kel felt the air on the small room tense up more and more, like a thread about to break anytime and hit them hard. He couldn't take it anymore.
"We..." Both of his frieds turned their heads to him. "We have more to say."
Basil frowned. "You... what about what I just said? Why are you... still here?"
"Right?" Aubrey whispered, gaining a nudge from Kel. She would die before being a pushover though, so she nudged back and harder.
Kel sent her a dirty look before clearing his throat and looking back at Basil. "Actually, since Sunny told us the truth, I've been thinking... a lot."
"Damn, really?" Another glare. She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, okay. Not the time."
Kel took a deep breath, trying to subdue the nerves with a smile as he started playing with his hands. "Maybe it's silly, but, uh... I kept thinking about the what ifs." The other two tensed up. "What if it had been the other way around? Or if instead of them... it had been me and Hero? What if instead of Basil it had been me, or even Aubrey who came in and saw...?"
Aubrey narrowed her eyes. "I sure as hell wouldn't have done what he—"
He snapped his head towards her, and with the most serious look he could muster he said, "We'll never know."
Aubrey's mouth shut close. She didn't say anything else about the it, and neither did Basil.
When no one seemed to want to continue, Aubrey decided to talk. "Alright, then. Basil." He jumped, looking back at Aubrey with a familiar nausea on his stomach. He had a bad feeling, but he had to ignore it and confront them. So he nodded slowly to tell her he was ready, even if he felt one second away from bolting.
This time she hesitated, but not for long. "How did you know how to tie a noose?"
Maybe he wasn't as prepared as he had thought.
Basil's eyes went visibly wide, shock written all over his face. And they followed his every movement, not letting a detail slip. They knew him well enough to understand he would try to lie about it.
Basil still hoped he could get away, just this one, last time. "I just knew. It's... it's very useful for some stuff related to—"
"Bullshit." Aubrey cut through any measly attempt at lying. Suddenly, her tone and her presence itself were too intense for him to bear. The moment Basil looked away, mind desperately trying to come up with another lie, Aubrey sneered, "look me in the fucking eyes and tell me why."
And he did. Kel's eyes reminded him of that one time he shared his ice cream with Basil because his fell and Kel almost cried about it. Aubrey's from the day they met, eyes looking for something she somehow knew was there.
He couldn't lie to them. Not again.
"It's... it's stupid, really..." When their stare only kept intensifying, Basil just blurted it out. "I almost killed myself a few months before the recital."
He could see how Kel's expression slowly turned into one of horror as he brought a hand up to his mouth. He despised that look on his friend, especially knowing he had caused—
"Why?" His focus went back to Aubrey, who seemed one second away from snapping going by the strain on her tone.
However, Basil already had.
"Why... why not?"
"What?"
"Seriously," he interrupted, starting to lose his sense of the present and the nausea on his stomach making itself stronger, raising up to his head, "why are you still here? Why can't you just say you hate me? Why... why am I still here?" He grabbed a fistful of his hair, trying to come back to his senses but feeling too lost to remember anything else than— "I'm sick. I... I'm crazy, and a creep, and I killed... I killed Mari." The realization this time hit harder, making his heart sink to the pit of his stomach and all of a sudden he couldn't breathe. "I killed Mari. I killed—"
"Basil...?" Kel's shaky voice made him snap. He remembered he wasn't alone. He was with Kel and Aubrey. Treehouse. His friends.
Was he even allowed to call them that anymore?
A second later Kel tried to reach for his hand and Basil flinched hard, taking his hand back. "N-No! Don't go near me! What if I harm you? Aubrey's right, I— I'm a creep! I—" His breath quickened, his hands shaked harder and he had lost focus again, there was something wrong about everything and he shouldn't have come. "I might kill you too! Don't come closer! Go away! I don't want to hurt anyone anymore! That's why... that's why mom and dad never came back, right? They knew, that I... that I was..."
His ears started to ring, and something pulled him back and he couldn't feel his hands anymore but they were still shaking so why— "I should have just done it!"
He couldn't hear himself anymore.
"If I had, then everyone would be okay and everything would be alright—"
A slap, and silence fell over them. Despite the force behind it, Aubrey's face was neutral as she stared at Basil, who grabbed his cheek in silent bewilderment.
And then she laughed. Starting from a quiet chuckle to a full, unrythmic laughter.
Both boys stared at her with eyes wide open until she stopped, grabbing the bridge of her nose with an amused smile. "You're right, why are we still here? Why do I fucking bother? You're nothing but a psycho!"
Kel's expression switched in an instant to a stunned one. "Aubrey—"
"NO, NO! FUCK OFF!" She slapped his hand away when he tried to grab her shoulder. "See, I... I was trying really hard, I haven't even touched my bat in days! I haven't—" Her voice cracked. She felt her eyes begin to sting, but she couldn't let herself cry. Not now, not now. "I haven't snapped at anyone for days and yet I came here to talk to your sorry ass," a familiar hot, ugly feeling began to spread on her chest and was about to burst out of her. She forcefully stopped any more tears from forming as everything turned red red red Basil that damned— "knowing damn well this would happen!"
She cackled again. "So maybe you're right! You should have actually—"
Kel shoot up, throwing the chair in the process. "What's wrong with you!?" He yelled.
Aubrey stood up and returned the sentiment. "Everything, Kel, everything!" She took him by the shoulders and shook him. "Are you really so fucking dumb you still can't see how fucked up all of us are!?"
He was taken by surprise, but didn't last to take her hands off of him and glare back at her. "That doesn't give you the right to say that shit!"
A scratch of wood made them snap out of their soon-to-be heated fight. Basil had stood up and was now walking somewhat unbalaced towards the exit. Kel heard blaring alarms inside his head and rushed to catch him by the wrist.
"No." Kel's eyes were glued to Basil, who looked nothing else but gone (was that how he had looked when he saw Mari's—). His grip tightened. "Basil why—?"
"Let me go. Please." His voice sounded so small. "I- I knew I shouldn't have come, I just make things worse I—"
Kel interrupted right away when he noticed Basil started spiraling again. "But- We- We aren't done! And y–"
"—What, are you going to go hang yourself now like you hung Mari?" Aubrey asked between giggles.
Kel's teeth clicked as he shut his mouth. He could hear Basil's breath hitch. Slowly, he turned his head back to her, eyes shoot open as he grabbed onto Basil harder (because Basil had fought it. He had tried to leave again, why did he try to leave right after what Aubrey—?)
"You..." Kel whispered as his lips trembled on disbelief. "How could you?"
Although Aubrey didn't seem to see the issue "How could I?" She clasped her hands. "Actually, you're right, Basil should stay! Let's forgive these murderers and all sing kumbaya as if everything's okay! Let's pretend we are in Candyland or some shit and not utterly out of it!"
"That's enough." Kel managed to let out, voice trembling but conveying the deep disappointment he was feeling. Over the last few years he had known 'the new Aubrey' to be ruthless to the point of plain hatred, but there was a line and she had just crossed it.
"Enough what? I'm just stating the truth. Basil's a creep. He's batshit crazy, haven't you just seen him!? And a murderer, to put the cherry on top!! And you! Look at you!"
She pointed and looked at Kel as if he was the one who was starting to lose it. "Can you even feel anything else than happy? What's so good to be happy and positive about? Aren't you tired of being so– so–?" She plummeted a fist on the table which made the entire treehouse shake. "Mari's dead, Sunny killed his own sister! And oh poor innocent Basil here covered it up flawlessly!! Who would have thought!" Kel felt Basil flinch again under his grasp, but he was now focused on watching Aubrey carefully, soaking in every word and trying not to make any sudden move while she was like that.
On the other hand, Aubrey's vision had already been covered in red by now. She could feel her pulse furiously beating all around her body and her head feeling dizzy and the adrenaline beggining to pump up and Basil was looking away and Kel was staring as if she was the bad guy there and how dare they—
"Even during all these years when we thought she had killed herself you kept smiling, you moved on like we were all nothing! You abandoned us! How could you!? Can't you see how messed up you and your fucking rainbows and happiness and peace are?"
"Aubr—"
She hit her chest. "And then there's me! I bullied Basil and almost drowned him and— shit!" She let out a chuckle, pulling her hair as her eyes focused somewhere on the floor (red red redredred). "maybe I worsened Basil's fucked up brain and that's why he— he almost killed Sunny and himself! I—"
She sounded hysterical now, fists begging her to destroy and she couldn't care less what or who she hurt when she... "I almost killed my friend too! but I just can't stop being angry at you and Basil—"
Red.
"And Sunny and Hero and—"
Red red red red.
"And Mari and myself for a goddamn second because I— I—"
("You've always been as disgusting as your mother." He had answered after she had asked him if he had ever cared about her.
He closed the door shut, not caring enough to see if his daughter was crying or not. If she would miss him or not. If she would do the unimaginable now that she was absolutely alone.
He never had cared, anyways. No one ever had.)
Aubrey screamed, knocking the table down with a fast kick.
The room was silent again, if not for Aubrey's fast breathing.
When Kel, who hadn't taken his eyes off of her during the entire outburst, realized she didn't have anything else to say, he ordered with a calm tone and neutral semblance, "take deep breaths."
Aubrey didn't answer, just turned away from them as she began to repeatedly hit the wall softly. Kel's eyebrows turned upwards, remembering when she sometimes did that after Hero stopped both of them whenever they got into a serious fight, instead of their playful ones.
He was pulled out from his thoughts when Basil tried to free himself again, but Kel held harder almost instinctively. He turned his attention to Basil, who by the guilt written all over his face seemed to have heard everything Aubrey had said.
Kel felt a pinch on his heart. This wasn't how it was supposed to have gone.
(Then again, when had anything gone well for them? Despite his efforts at making everything okay again, getting Hero out of his bed, Sunny come out of his house, make Aubrey realize she couldn't always protect herself with anger and then Basil and Sunny uncovering the truth...
Where had any of that taken them? How many more years had to pass before they could be genuinely okay?)
He decided to put those thoughts for later.
Kel put and arm around Basil's back, guiding him towards his chair and sitting him down. Thankfully Basil hadn't resisited, so he got back to his own seat soon after.
Then he turned to Aubrey and just stared without saying anything. She was already looking at them though, breathing way more steadily. She huffed when Kel wouldn't look away, obviously telling her to sit her ass back down. She felt too tired to object, and so she did.
"I'm sorry." Aubrey frowned in his direction. Basil remained with his head down, but Kel trusted that he was listening. He let out a sigh before continuing. "You... you're right, Aubrey. After Mari passed, I didn't know how to react. What to do. All of you looked so distant at the funeral, and then Hero went straight to our room and refused to eat or drink or... or literally anything and I just... I felt so hopeless."
"I tried to reach out to you, asshole." Aubrey bit out. Her anger had subdued, but it was very clearly still there.
"That's why I said I'm sorry." Kel looked down at his folded hands, seemingly unable to keep them still. "I said I didn't know how to react, right? And I knew you'd try to talk about it, and I just... couldn't. Take it. Not feeling okay, I guess. So I avoided everyone, hung out till late with other kids, didn't look at Hero and... avoided thinking about Mari..."
He stayed silent when he heard Aubrey's breath start to become unsteady, but after some seconds she just told him to go on.
He inwardly sighed in relief. He definitely had to thank the Universe for saving him from one of Aubrey's rage-filled punches. "But then a month passed, and it was my birthday and... and my parents, uh, forgot." He left the again out.
"What?" Aubrey said. He also saw Basil peeking from behind his bangs, a slight scowl on his face.
"Hero wasn't waking up, so they had to take him to the hospital. Apparently he was very underweighted and severely dehydrated. After that my parents were obsessing even more about him than before, but he still... he still stayed on his bed. Kind of like a sloth?"
He chuckled at his comment, but immediately shut up when he catched Aubrey's expression from the corner of his eye. "Yeah, no, it wasn't funny. So I spent my birthday alone, and realized how lonely I really was. But Sunny wasn't coming out of his house anymore, Hero was a breathing corpse," he grimaced at his own choice of words, "you already hated the world and Basil looked one second away of having a breakdown over anything." He turned to Basil immediately, bringing up a hand. "I mean, of course I understand why now. But yeah."
Aubrey processed everything Kel was saying. It was the first time she had ever seen him this... down? Real, even? It was as if she finally saw him in a warm, brand new light, and could truly connect to what he was feeling.
She remembered only feeling like this when they were kids, insulting each other but catching a small smile on his face (mirroring hers).
Any leftover resentment she held towards him after her... outburst, dissipated. Kel was looking just as nervous as Basil did right in front of them.
"So you do realize that that positivity of yours can be toxic as hell." She finally said.
Kel huffed. "Well, maybe." Aubrey threw him a deadpan stare. "Okay, fine, yes. I'm sorry, okay? I never wanted to make it seem as if you were a... villain, or whatever. That doesn't excuse your behavior though." Aubrey waved a hand lazily, turning away as she crossed her legs. Kel understood, so he continued. "After that I started to try to get Hero to keep going with his life and managed to do it a year later. He still is much more closed-off than he was before... everything, but at least I— we weren't as lonely. And then two weeks ago Sunny finally answered the door! And– And all of us made up, and I got to talk to Basil a bit and all of us had the sleepover at his house and everything was going so well but then..."
Basil's breath hitched as Kel's head dropped into his palms, flashbacks of that fateful midnight coming back. Kel started rubbing his eyes and bitting his lower lip, struggling to let the rest out. He was already this far though, he... he had to. He wanted to. As much as he loved his brother, he had never talked about this after their fight, and he had never dared approach the topic until Sunny came outside. And his parents just... wouldn't care. Not really.
But now Kel was next to Aubrey and Basil. Aubrey who had hated him and bullied Basil and even become a town famous delinquent. Basil who had carried a horrific secret and suffered all alone until he finally snapped. And himself, who couldn't handle, didn't know how to be anything other than happy and remembered to mourn too late.
He sat upright in a flash with decided eyes. Fuck it, Kel thought as he let the thoughts resurface. "Why can't anything go finally right for us? I have missed all of you so much. For so long. I– I felt so alone and tried to ignore it but then I would remember Mari and then everyone else and how happy we were but I couldn't talk about it with anyone because not even mom or dad take me seriously and I was the one everyone went to to be happy, you know? So I couldn't disappoint them, but you— all of you understand, and you're my best friends and I just can't bear losing you all again—"
"Hit the breaks buddy." Kel felt a hand on his shoulder, finding Aubrey looking at him with a raised eyebrow. He blinked a couple of times and realized he was struggling to breathe.
Aubrey took it as an opportunity to speak, as Basil still wasn't looking up (although his fists were shaking). "Congrats on realizing you're a people pleaser. Seems to be a family trait, although Hero's way more annoying about it than you. But you also have the added bonus of toxic positivity, wow. That's one messed up mix." Kel glared at her, and almost choked when she slapped his back. "Anyways, I'm... glad. That you let it out, I mean." She snorted. "Finally. Feeling better?"
Kel was about to retort about how now she was the one joking in the wrong moment, but her eyes were looking at his so genuinely he swallowed his words. He also noted how she hadn't taken the hand off his back.
Kel straightened his back, and stared decisively between both of his friends, taking a deep breath. "I want to try. To understand and forgive, all of us. Because all of you are my dearest people, and despite everything that happened and being 'fUcKeD uP'," He received a hit on his side from Aubrey, whose voice he just mocked. He knew she was only playing because he felt no pain, besides the small smile she was trying to hide. His face softened. "I wouldn't change any of you for anything. That includes you, Basil."
Because of his face being covered by his hair, Kel nor Aubrey could see him, but his eyes were wide open, still trying to make sense and believe what was being said.
"Basil." Aubrey called, a few seconds later. He startled, but didn't dare look at her. She sighed, closing her eyes and leaning back on the chair. "I... don't think I'll ever forgive you. Or Sunny, for that matter."
Aubrey silently appreciated how Kel didn't say anything, but was feeling uneasy about Basil's lack of response.
He had always been one to avoid instead of facing, which is why she had wanted to be there for him, back then.
She was so exicted for today. Just like yesterday. And the days before, and honestly every day for the last month.
She had friends! She had someone! Actually, no, she had so many, and they really cared about her! Even after she had snapped at Kel for the littlest thing, he... he hadn't minded, and just played along. And then Hero intercepted and... everyone stayed.
Aubrey started to hum a new catchy song she had heard on the radio at Sunny's and Mari's house, swaying the bag she was carrying as she jumped on her way to their house. All five of them were having a sleepover (her first one, wow), and she had been ecstatic about it for the entire week.
"Hurry up!" A kid whisper-yelled, passing right in front of her and making her almost trip. She scowled and opened her mouth, ready to tell him off, but he said something that left her puzzled. "He's going to rub off his creepiness on us if we stay longer!"
The kid by his side giggled. "Right, better go before he cries for breathing too loud." The first kid laughed harder, and they walked away together.
Aubrey suddenly had a really bad feeling. How could they say such mean words? Who were they even talking about?
She had always been a curious girl, for better or worse, so she looked in the direction they had just come out of and went to check. The park was big enough for all the kids in her school to fit inside and not be cramped, so seeing no one on the middle of a Friday afternoon was the strangest thing she'd seen in a long time.
Thanks to that though, she spotted the person the kids were talking about fast. It was difficult not to, the bright blond standing out from the greens surrounding the crouched body.
She quickly reached his spot, a little space between two big trees. The boy's head was in-between his legs, but Aubrey could still hear the soft sobs. Her heart immediately sank, and decided she couldn't just stand idly.
"Um, hi." The boy looked up, puffy, red eyes meeting hers. She smiled. "Hey! My name's Aubrey. What's yours?"
Instead of answering, he looked to his side, pressing his lips shut. She pouted. "You know, it's rude to ignore people when they're talking to you." The boy didn't move. Aubrey pouted more, and inspected the boy. Huh, strange.
"W-What?" The boy said with a cracked voice, but clearly defensive, after Aubrey just kept staring.
"Oh, you talked!" She blinked. "Uh, sorry for staring. It's just... I don't think I've ever seen you at school. And there's no other school in this town."
The boy looked down at his feet, hands grabbing his knees harder. "No one remembers me. It's normal."
"That's not—!" She stopped when she saw the boy flinch. She swallowed. "It's not normal."
He didn't say anything else. Aubrey was starting to get impatient, so she dropped the bag by her side and kneeled in front of him.
"You never answered. I'm Aubrey."
He looked at her warily for a moment before softly murmuring his name. Thankfully Aubrey had quite a good hearing.
"Basil! Like the herb? That's so cute!"
He flushed. "No, it's... not. It's strange."
She frowned. "Yeah, well, it's unique! I like it!"
He pressed his lips. "What... what do you want?"
"What?"
"Why are you talking to me? Don't you see no one's here?"
She looked around and suddenly remembered the reason she had even entered the park. The kids. Their words.
And she realized, like a cold ice bucket falling on her head. Newfound rage towards the unknown kids started forming inside of her.
She scoffed hard, getting up in an instant. "They're all idiots, then. You're very nice."
"But you just said I was rude."
"You were scared, and for a valid reason! They bully you, right?" She had her answer when Basil's shoulders rose and he looked to the side, avoiding eye contact. "Knew it! I remember their faces, don't worry, I'll find them at school and beat them up good—"
"NO!" She shut her mouth with a click, realizing she had been looking really... strange going by Basil's fearful eyes. His voice was very quiet next time he spoke. "I don't... want trouble... please just drop it and forget me. It– It's fine."
"No it's not! You were crying!" He eyebrows upturned. "You feel lonely, don't you? Why don't you at least tell your parents to do something?"
Aubrey realized she had messed up when she noticed him tense up, curling into himself further. "I... I don't... grandma..." He hid between his legs again.
They remained silent for a long time after that. Basil was about to sigh of relief until he felt a hand take the flower on his hair.
He looked up, seeing Aubrey in front of his face again. He was going to complain until she reached out again, clipping something on his hair and putting his flower on hers.
"You look so cute with my bow!" She beamed, clasping her hands together. "I really like your accessory election too, pink flowers are the best!"
He was confused. "W-What?"
Aubrey's face softened. "Listen, I know we just met, but do you want to be friends with me?"
His eyes opened wide. It was... the first time anyone had asked him that. He even looked like a mess, puffy red eyes and all, and still... she...
"No. You'll regret it."
She backed in surprise, frowning soon after. "No, I will not!"
"You will, because I..." He shrugged, trying to make himself as small as possible out of embarrassment. "I'm weird."
She stood up again, grabbing her waist and scowling. "No you're not! Why would you think that?"
"I..." Basil trailed off. Why did he? "I don't know. The others say that."
"See? Then why'd you care? They don't even know you!" She felt a little too involved in her speech, but decided to brush it off. She was upset at how sad those kids had made Basil feel, despite having knowin him for only three minutes at most.
"You don't either."
"...Listen you're making this more difficult than it should be. It's easy, really!" She extended her arm at him with a bright smile. "Just take my hand!"
He stared at it, then at her. Then at it again. "Why are you insisting so much? I'm a nobody."
"Because...!" She started, but didn't know how to continue. Why did she care?
Oh. Right.
If there was one thing Kel was right about, it was her stubbornness. She shook the hand and stared determinedly right into his eyes "Because being lonely sucks, right? So take my hand, and you'll have not one— but five more friends! Doesn't it sound amazing?"
"F-Five?"
"Yeah! They found me... crying. A month ago. And they accepted me! And they are the very best people, nothing like those jerks, I promise!" She felt tears start to form on her eyes, having to fight hard to keep them at bay. "I just... don't like seeing people alone. And you look nice. You don't deserve to be alone."
What she didn't expect was for him to start crying. "Wait! I— I didn't want to—!" Before she knew it, tears were falling off her eyes too. "I'm sorry."
He shook his head and got up, trying his best to wipe away every tear. Aubrey mirrored him, and was left with her mouth wide open when Basil smiled and took her wrist timidly. "If... If it'd be okay. Then..."
Her mood changed instantly, beaming again. She picked up her bag and dragged him immediately towards her original destination.
"We were actually having a sleepover! Do you know your grandma's landline number?" He nodded. "Great! Mari and Sunny have a landline, it's very pretty and new! You can tell her you're staying over! It'll be amazing—"
"Wait, I... I don't even have anything prepared and, um... wouldn't I be intruding or—"
"Basil." She stopped on her tracks, grabbing his shoulders. "Friends, remember? There's no rule about how much time has to pass before having a sleepover."
"But what if they don't want to..." He didn't need to finish for Aubrey to understand. He was getting insecure again, and Aubrey wondered for how long had he been bullied, feeling the anger bubble up inside her again.
Focus, she thought, breathing in and out. She grabbed his hand and kept walking. "Put your trust in me just this once. I'll keep my word."
And if she heard Basil crying again on their way to Sunny and Mari's house, she didn't say anything.
Aubrey opened her eyes again, staring at Basil's top of the head. "You don't have to forgive me, either. I let everyone bully you for such a... bad reason. And I almost..." She lowered her eyes, ashamed, and whispered, "if it hadn't been for Hero, I would've almost killed you."
"About that..." Kel intercepted, "I never did anything to stop Aubrey all these years. I won't try to give any excuses, just know that I'm so sorry for leaving you alone, Basil. I'm such a hypocrite." He let out a self-deprecating chuckle, and Aubrey couldn't do anything else than let the last part soak in her.
She had massively messed up, too. But suddenly, next to them, it wasn't as scary to admit as she had previously thought.
She sighed. "That said, that doesn't mean I'm not willing to try... moving on, or whatever."
Kel turned to her surprised. "Wait, for real?"
"Yeah." She murmured. A bit later she snorted. "And anyways, after all we've been through we might as well stick together since no one else will put up with our asses."
"I do have other friends" Kel retorted.
"Yeah no shit, you replaced us." Kel looked away with pressed lips. He looked guilty. Hah. "And so did I, too."
"Right, your gang." Kel murmured. Aubrey decided to look over the judgmental tone only because Hero would somehow charm his way into making her pay the trip to the hospital, and she didn't exactly have the money for it.
Instead she just threw him a deathly glare she hoped would make Kel understand the message (by the way he gulped, she would guess so). Aubrey sighed, "anyways, I love my new friends, but this is... different."
"Ah, yeah, it... it really is, huh?" Kel laid on the backrest, staring up at the ceiling of their treehouse.
The birds were chirping outside, the soft light of the noon came through the windows and for the first time since they had entered the treehouse, everything felt at peace.
Basil swallowed a big lump on his throat. "We..." both friends immediately directed their attention to him, "we had been... truly happy, back then." His voice was almost unaudible. "Everything was so easy."
Kel jumped on his seat, a rush of adrenaline suddenly going through his entire body. "Then let's move forward! Let's try. We still have things to talk about, with the whole group. But for now, let's not make the same mistake. Let's stick together and just... be there. You know, keep each other on our feet."
He received silence, so he just plunged on, this time sounding a little desperate. "Even if Sunny has moved to the city, he said he'd still keep contact and come over regularly, and Hero..." Kel's licked his lips, trying not to remember the look on his face after hearing the truth. "Hero might take his time, but I'm positive eventually we'll all come together. For now... let's just try us four to... understand. And heal. Together."
Right after Kel finished his little speech, Basil let out a loud sob that only led to more tears falling down his eyes, as if a dam had broken on them. He didn't try to stop it, nor did he have the energy for it. He just let everything out. His kid self's worries that they'd abandon him anytime soon. His preteen self's sorrow after the group had splitted up and he was left all alone, haunted with what he had done. His current self's guilt for being the reason of his friends' problems.
Basil had almost surrendered to death the day he took his best friend's eye, but now, with two (three, Sunny's first smile after years was still engraved on his mind) extended hands at him, he felt overwhelmed with the desire to live on.
Kel was already up and embracing Basil the moment he had started to cry, each sob making Kel's eyes start to well up.
"You've always been a crybaby, huh." There was no mocking in her tone, but Kel glared at her nevertheless.
"Stop acting all tough, you know you want to join in too." Kel said. Aubrey rolled her eyes, and despite herself stood up and put her hands on their backs.
After a little while Basil's sobs calmed down and he managed to steady his breathing. "You still have time to leave now, if you want." He choked out, tripping on his own words.
Aubrey promptly smacked Basil. "Did you fucking understand now or do I have to hit you harder?"
"Aubrey." Kel gave her a stern look, before sighing and shaking his head. "You really are a delinquent. Hitting people when they're crying. So mean."
"You...!" Her eye twitched. "You started a fight with me in the middle of the church, idiot! And I also was..."
"You were, what?" Kel sounded a little too pleased with himself.
The little fucker. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Just you wait, I'll get your ass handed to you after we get out of here."
Kel's jaw fell, smacking a hand over his mouth right after.
Basil laughed between cries, and both of them sent him a questioning look.
He just shaked his head and wiped away his tears, noticing how despite their (familiar) bickering neither of them had moved their arms from the collective hug.
Yeah. They will be okay. Maybe not now, but someday.