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Irene Belserion was dead.
She had begun to die nearly five hundred years ago, from the moment the roots of the dragon seed began to cleave her heart apart.
She had withered further when her body ripped itself apart, remaking itself into the wrong shape.
She had crawled ever closer when she ripped her new body apart for her old one, but it wasn’t the same.
She had been inches from death’s door the second she abandoned her daughter on the porch step of an orphanage.
She had let the door open when she stabbed herself through the chest, deciding that she just didn’t care anymore.
But Irene Belserion was stubborn.
Too stubborn.
And not even death by her own hand could keep her at bay.
Wendy watched the mouse scamper across the ground, her hand snatching out to grab it by the tail, letting it dangle from her fingers. It squeaked and squirmed, her sensitive hearing picking up on its panicked heartbeat. She held it closer to her face, pupils constricting as she examined it, her tongue darting out to wet her lips.
“Hey, kid. What have you got there?” Gajeel questioned.
Wendy twitched, an odd expression coming over her face, features too smooth… too calculating. “Are you blind? It’s a mouse.”
Gajeel frowned. From anyone else in the guild, he would have expected a response like that. With a lot more cuss words at that. But something so snappish from Wendy, and with a condescending tone at that… was beyond strange. “Uh… yeah? I just meant what you were doin’ with it?”
Wendy slammed her hand, and the mouse, down on the table. It screeched in alarm, before scrabbling at the table with its little claws, though she still refused to let go of its tail. “What’s it matter, Gajeel?”
He raised his hands in surrender. “Gods, kid, didn’t mean anythin’ by it.” He’d never expected Wendy to go through the bastard teenage phase, but hey, who was he to judge?
Even if it seemed… strange, to say the least.
She was probably just in a bad mood though. Right? People were in bad moods sometimes, and it’d be a dick move to blame Wendy for that, just because she wasn’t in a bad mood very often.
Wendy shook her head, blinked a few times, and finally let go of the mouse. “Sorry… Gajeel…” She pulled her knees up to her chest and took a deep breath. “I haven’t been feeling well recently. I’m just really tired. Sorry if that was mean.”
He shrugged. “S’fine, kid. I’m mean all the damn time. Just worried about ya is all. You need anything just let me know, alright? Even if it’s just to punch some shit to let things out, I ain’t gonna judge.”
Wendy dug her nails into her calves. “Thanks, Gajeel… but I think I’ll be fine.”
“Mm, alrighty.” He leaned down to pat her head. “Hope yer feelin’ better soon.”
She smiled, though it seemed awfully fake. But Gajeel decided not to push, and to let her come to him on her own terms if she wanted to.
Why did you lie?
Wendy clutched at a handful of her hair, nearly ripping the locks out, and took a shaky breath. “You’re not real. You can’t be real. I-I saw your body. You’re dead.”
The voice scoffed. If that’s true, then you’re going crazy.
Wendy whimpered, and pulled her blanket over her head, curling up even tighter. You’re gone, you’re gone, you’re dead.
Irene’s melodic laughter chimed through her head, as clear and brilliant as ever. I’m certainly not as gone as you would like to believe.
“Leave me alone!” Wendy shouted, hoping that her blankets and pillows muffled her voice enough that she didn’t wake up anyone else in Fairy Hills. “Get out of my head!” Ever since the war… her voice had been getting louder and louder, her grip tighter, and Wendy couldn’t ignore her anymore. She just… She couldn’t.
That’s not possible, you little brat. Do you think I like this anymore than you? Your soul was too strong for me to rip out, but I was too strong for you to cast out. We are stuck like this, don’t you understand?
Tears dripped from the corners of her eyes. “Please… Please… get out.” She wanted her body back, she wanted her mind back, she wanted her soul back.
I can’t! Irene snapped. This is our existence now. And you better get fucking used to it.
Wendy let out a pathetic whimper, but couldn’t do more than that.
“Hey, Wendy.” Natsu heaved himself onto the tree branch next to her, panting for breath. It wasn’t that he was bad at climbing trees, but Wendy was a lot smaller than him, and could get to some more difficult places with less effort. “Been looking for you. Erza wants to know if you’re gonna come with us on that job tomorrow?” He settled down next to her, and swung his feet, his sandals dangerously close to slipping off. “Why you hidin’ all the way out here?”
“Oh…” Wendy yawned, and pressed closer to the tree trunk. “Okay, sure. What time are we leaving?”
Natsu frowned, and leaned over to sniff at her, pressing his nose into her ratty hair.
Wendy didn’t fight him. In fact, she seemed rather lifeless.
“You smell funny,” he said. He hadn’t noticed until he was sitting right next to her, without anyone else around. There were so many overlapping scents in the guildhall, but out here in the forest on the outskirts of town, it was easier to pick up little differences in a person’s scent. “Like… kinda like Erza.” His frown deepened. “No, not Erza. But it’s… it’s similar?” He tilted his head, confusion coming over him. He’d never smelled anything like the scent before. It was so strange, almost like two distinctive people had blended together. Perfectly. Seamlessly. Not like people whose scents rubbed off on one another because they spent a lot of time together. No, this was like two people’s essence had been melded together. “Wendy, are you okay?”
She shot him a look, and now that he was really paying attention, he swore that the hue of her eyes had changed. The brown was deeper, just off of the lighter shade her eyes had always been. “I’m okay, Natsu. Promise.”
“It’s okay to not be okay.” Wendy was a far cry from the little girl he had met all those years ago, who cried about nearly everything, but sometimes he wondered if it was for the worst that all those emotions had been beaten out of her by the world.
She really was too similar to him in the fact that they would rather hide their emotions and just pretend to be happy so as not to burden the people around them.
But Natsu was also twenty-two years old, and Wendy was barely fifteen. He had a feeling it was a lot more detrimental to her mental state than to his.
“Do you…” Wendy tugged at her hair. “What did the war do to you, Natsu…?”
Shit. Of course, no one was the same after Alvarez, including Wendy, as unfair as it was. But was Natsu really the best one for this? He barely understood his own thoughts and feelings half the time, how the hell was he supposed to help Wendy with this?
But, she had asked, and he would be damned if he couldn’t help.
“I… It was a lot,” he began. Stiffly. Awkwardly. Gods, who else had he even talked about this with? Gray and Erza? A little with Gajeel and Lucy? That was about it… “All the shit with Zeref, and… you know… finding out I was E.N.D., it was almost too much to handle.” His hand drifted up to brush the scar that tore across his face, a permanent reminder of everything his brother had done to him, in this life, and the one before it. “But… I’m getting used to it. I still feel it—him— me, sometimes…” He held his hand to his chest. “That part of me that came out during the war, biting and clawing. Sometimes I wake up from nightmares with those talons.” His voice shook, but he forced himself to keep going. He had to tell her it was all okay. That they would eventually all be okay. “But I’m learning how to control it. Gray and Erza help. Lucy helps. Just like we would all help you… if you—if you need it.”
Wendy sniffled, blinked a few times, and Natsu could smell the salt in the air, even if she’d managed to stop the tears for now. “I hear her voice, Natsu… I don’t know if I’m just crazy or not… but sometimes I do things, sometimes I say things… and I don’t think it’s me.”
Natsu did his best not to react, for fear of it being the wrong reaction and making things worse. “What do you… what do you mean? Who?”
“Irene,” she whispered. “I can hear her now. She’s telling me I’m an idiot, that I shouldn’t be telling you this, that I’m going to make it worse. Am I making it worse?”
Irene. Erza’s mother. Natsu wanted to brush it off, to assure Wendy it was all in her head, and if it was in her head, that meant they could fix it. Porlyusica had medicines for hallucinations, right? A lot of wizards had had to use them in the past. Except…
Erza and Wendy both had told him how Irene had attempted to steal Wendy’s body, how their souls had become entangled during the switches, how they were compatible.
Was it possible…?
It didn’t matter, he decided. At least, not right this second. “It’ll be okay, Wendy.” He reached out, tugging her close, letting her head fall against his shoulder as the sobs came full force, her little body shaking with each one. “We’ll get it figured out, we’ll fix it. You’re gonna be okay. I promise.”
And he’d rip the world apart to keep that promise.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” Wendy hiccuped through the gut-wrenching cries. “Don’t wanna—Can’t—Don’t—”
“It’s okay,” he interrupted as she floundered over her words, unable to force them out. “I… I won’t say anything. Not until you’re ready.” How long had she been working up the courage to tell even a single person? To tell him? It’d been six months since the war ended…
He didn’t move until Wendy had calmed down, just holding her close, and watching the sun set and the stars start to dot the skies.
Erza would live if they didn’t go on that job tomorrow.
I can’t believe you told that idiot dragon slayer.
Wendy grit her teeth. “You’re not in charge. It’s my life. You already had one. You had more than one.” Any pity Wendy might have felt for the woman was long gone by now, she’d been forced to hear, to feel, too many of her cruel thoughts for that. Yes, she had had a horrible life. But she did not deserve a new one. And she certainly didn’t deserve Wendy’s.
What could he do? Do you think he could force me out?
Wendy’s hands shook as she grabbed the pair of scissors, and held the lock of hair between the two blades. She’d noticed the bright red this morning, replacing her previous ocean blue. “He won’t do anything. I will force you out. It’s my body, my life, my soul. Mine.”
Snip!
The lock of hair fell onto the counter, spilling out like blood on the white marble.
Foolish girl, Irene teased. What can you possibly do? What could any of you possibly do? You will crumble, and finally, I will get my life, the one that was stolen from me.
Wendy bared her fangs, and clenched her fist, magic budding around her fingers. Familiar magic. Foreign magic. Her magic. Irene’s magic. “I held up against you at fourteen years old. I bent your soul to my will.” She sank her nails into her palm with enough pressure to draw blood. “You think I can’t do the same to your magic?”
For the first time in six months, Irene was silent.
“I will cast you out, Irene. And not a single part of me will regret it.” She threw the scissors onto the counter, grabbed her bag, and marched out of the room.
If she hurried, she might be able to catch her team and go on the job with them that Natsu had mentioned.
Then Irene chuckled. You’re becoming more and more like me every day, little Wendy.
She froze, every muscle in her body going taut.
And isn’t that simply wonderful?
