Work Text:
✿
There are times, where Donghyuck hoped Renjun can be harsher to him.
Sure, Renjun had performed a lot of wrestling techniques for God knows how many as a clap back for Donghyuck’s corny, lame jokes. Or when Donghyuck wrongly put Renjun’s coffee order, when originally it was supposed to have an additional Renjun’s favorite caramel drizzle. Or when Donghyuck suggested their friends to rewatch Chicken Little for a movie night just to annoy Renjun. Or when Donghyuck purposely hid Renjun’s driver’s license and didn’t admit it because he forgot, not even until the owner gave up searching and hop on a crowded bus instead.
Every time Donghyuck provokes him, Renjun is always fast to attempt a light strangulation without hesitating. It’s never serious remembering that his partner is practically a human formed angel, Donghyuck is blessed enough for surviving and avoided being hospitalized even though he deserved it
But, that’s not quite the point. It really is not.
“Hey, it’s okay to be possessive, you know.”
That’s what Donghyuck said, propping his chin on Renjun’s shoulder. Purposely irritates him while his boyfriend is in the middle of journaling. “I’m not jealous.”
“When I kissed Jaemin on his cheek? When I shouted ‘I love you, Baby’ to Jeno and Shotaro interpreted it incorrectly?” Donghyuck rushed.
“You kissed almost everyone on the cheek, Hyuck. You called Jeno like that because he willingly bought you Steam wallet. That’s just everything you would do to anyone. Shotaro is just thinking as normal people should. What am I supposed to be jealous of?” Renjun explains patiently, his elbow nudging Donghyuck’s torso to sway him off. “Now will you excuse me. I have a lot of work to do.”
“You’re so...” Disappointing, sort of. Because it’s certainly not what Donghyuck wanted to hear.
Renjun turned back with a sigh, gently locating his fingertips on Donghyuck’s crown hair and brushes it upside-down. “Come on. Stop whining. Let’s talk more later, yeah?” And this is not what Donghyuck wanted to feel either.
✿
There are times, where Donghyuck hoped Renjun can be harsher to him.
No, not in an abusive kind of way. Renjun isn’t certified for that anyway, remembering how clever he is for composing thousands of excuses merely to withdraw himself from any sports and physical activities. Those efforts are wild yet inspirational for people who hate exercising as much as him.
Okay, but Donghyuck definitely saw how Renjun could carry Jisung like a princess. Jaemin was the most excited seeing that, never would’ve thought Renjun is capable to lift him that easily, considering Jisung’s taller-than-average height. Renjun only laughed it off by saying that he wasn’t expecting it too and it might be just his muscle’s luck.
Interesting.
“For what you did to Jisung this morning,” That night, Donghyuck climbs on Renjun’s lap, recalling the memorable part from their brunch party earlier. Renjun isn’t writing anything at the moment, just absorbed in watching a documentary film about climate change while relaxing on the sofa. “Can you do it to me too?”
“You’re blocking the view, Hyuck,” Renjun groans in annoyance.
“I am the view, Injunnie,” Donghyuck murmurs nonchalantly, then winced in pain, because Renjun pinched his left thigh for being stubborn.
God, this is it, this is it. Donghyuck knew Renjun have this amount of strength. His heart beats crazily in its cage.
“Oh, that was too...,” Renjun hisses, quickly rubbing Donghyuck’s reddened skin. A glimpse of worry and guilt beneath his intonation. “Sorry, Hyuck. It was too strong.”
Donghyuck stammered, accidentally let out a breath he didn’t knew he was holding in. “No? I, I mean, it doesn’t hurt that much? I’m, I’m okay.”
Renjun cackled lightly, amused by Donghyuck’s bewilderment. “What do you mean it is okay? It must be hurt,” he keeps rubbing his palm on it. “By the way, what were you saying? You want me to lift you up like what I did to Jisung, is that right?”
“It’s...,” Replying yes is harder than Donghyuck thought. “Nothing. Nevermind.”
“Hm? Hyuck? Going to sleep already?”
Donghyuck has left the living room, stepping back towards his room without bidding any farewell.
✿
There are times, where Donghyuck hoped Renjun can be harsher to him.
Well, it’s impossible.
“Cute, cute little Daegalie,” Renjun was so delighted when his cousin, Chenle, visited their home. Most importantly, about his one and only pet that he brought along for the first time. A white bichon (or maltase, because Chenle himself forgot about his own daughter’s breed) soft cloud look alike. “Come here. Can I give you a kiss?”
Donghyuck wanted to hug Daegal as well, but the puppy prefers to bite into his socks despite Donghyuck had called her multiple times before, asking her for a paw.
“Come here, here... that’s right! What a good girl,” Daegal finally jumped into Renjun’s open arms after a brief consideration. Donghyuck stared at his boyfriend who is currently planting kisses on Daegal’s head with so much affection and endearment. It’s understandable because who would not take the advantage during this rare situation?
“Whoa Renjun gege is so...,” Chenle laughs, stole a glance at Donghyuck as he gradually lifts his brows. “So that’s how you kiss Hyuckie gege?”
Donghyuck’s cheeks steamed up, “Hey, what do you know about us, kid?”
“I don’t know. I was just guessing!”
“It’s a matter of privacy, young kid. Even if you ask us, we won’t give you any factual answer so I’m just gonna leave it to your imagination.”
Well, truth to be said, Chenle isn’t wrong.
“It’s okay Hyuck, it’s okay,” Renjun giggled as he let Daegal run around by herself again. Donghyuck tried to catch her before she starts lurking under the table, but once again, she refused and fleet. There goes Renjun’s traces of kisses. “Donghyuck needs to be loved sometimes, at least something to calm him down.”
Calm me down? Donghyuck mumbled indistinctly.
“Aaah, because he’s being too noisy and loud?” Chenle speculated.
“Yeah,” Renjun flashes a giant smile, then draped an arm around Donghyuck, pulling him into an embrace. “That way, he can stay quiet for a while. Voila. Peaceful.”
“Oh my god!” Chenle screeched, making Daegal bark loudly.
Hearing his boyfriend’s interpretation, Donghyuck’s mind automatically recalls the way Renjun would assign their bodies to face each other, then he’d shyly asks for a kiss on the lips. Sometimes it ended up being excessively cheesy and an embarrassing session, but Donghyuck never hated any of it. He just thought that maybe, maybe Renjun could’ve just dive in without asking. He wouldn’t mind it.
But that sounds impossible.
✿
There are times, where Donghyuck hoped Renjun can be harsher to him.
Donghyuck is delusional, and he had enough.
“Why can’t you clean the dishes?!”
Renjun was arranging his plants’ pots when Donghyuck raged, bringing him into surprise. “Gosh, Hyuck, be quiet! You’ll scare my buddies,” he sets a succulent aside. It matches the timing when Donghyuck’s feet have landed on the porch.
“You didn’t wash the dishes again!”
“Ohh! Sorry, I forgot!” Renjun’s loud laughter fills the air.
Unfortunately, Donghyuck doesn’t seem to be amused at all. “Do you think it’s funny? You’ve been skipping that job for the third time this week. Please, be more responsible about it.”
“Huh? Of course, I understand. I said sorry, didn’t I?” but Donghyuck avoided himself when Renjun was about to hold his wrist. “Hyuck.”
They’ve been living together for a while. It’s natural for them to be lazy at some times, even Donghyuck tends to rely on Jaemin when he’s available and willing to help cleaning a bit of dust around. Hence, it must’ve risen Renjun’s confusion of what made Donghyuck so upset at him unlike usual.
Renjun followed Donghyuck from behind, constantly asking as they walk, “Why are you being so sensitive?”
To stir things up. Honestly, there’s no other logical reason for Donghyuck to purposely provoke him with such negligible oversight. Plus, he’s tired. Donghyuck is sure that Renjun wouldn’t want to lose any argument. He’d fight for it like no tomorrow, it can be challenging and Donghyuck took the risk.
“... Three times is too much, though,” Renjun sighed, placing his arms on his hips. Donghyuck doesn’t flinch, he waited. “I understand why you are angry. Sorry. I’ll make it up with dinner tonight. Let’s eat something good.”
This guy is unbelievable. “Injunnie.”
“I swear I’ll buy you T-Bone steak so you could shut up,” Renjun catches Donghyuck’s arm that was moving towards him, he squeezes it as he giggles. “Okay? Don’t sulk again. I promise I won’t forget to wash my dishes after eating again.”
“I actually...,” the cat got his tongue again. Why is he such a coward?
Renjun stares briefly at Donghyuck, before facing outside again. “If you want anything else other than steak, just tell me. I’m going to continue taking care of my babies first.”
Donghyuck usually mocked Renjun whenever he refers his plants’ collection as ‘babies’, ‘buddies’, or any spontaneous nicknames he could come out with. But the more Donghyuck think of it, the more he knew how endearing Renjun is. Always.
✿
There are times, where Donghyuck hoped Renjun can be harsher to him.
Because... There is no way he would spend the rest of his life with someone as kind as Renjun, right?
“Hey, Are you okay?”
Even though faint, Donghyuck can tell that Renjun is asking directly to him. Without looking, Donghyuck can always tell. The worry and genuine concern beneath his sweet voice.
“... Hm?”
“You’re not as loud as usual, what’s wrong?” half teasing, Renjun asked again. “I know, I’m weird. When you’re being noisy i shouted and told you to shut up, but when you’re being calm, I became uneasy.”
Donghyuck sneered. “Stop being like this, or else I’ll be sadder.”
“Sad?”
They were sitting on top of Donghyuck’s bed, the thing they usually do at weekend. Because Renjun needs a lot of time with his freelance work, and Donghyuck wanted to give him the space he deserved. But he’d come by when he finished all his responsibilities as if reassuring Donghyuck that no matter what, he’ll end up only wanting Donghyuck around his arms during sleep.
"My Sun?"
Donghyuck felt a sudden throb, Renjun is nuzzling from behind while calling the nickname he made himself when they're getting through the confession phase. It feels more personal, and more intimate, Donghyuck always likes it.
"Tell me anything, my Sun," Renjun lands a light tap on Donghyuck's back. "I'll listen."
"You see...," Inhales, exhales. Donghyuck wasn't ready to convey his true feelings. "Do you feel like you're being... Too gentle to me?"
Renjun let out a chuckle that startled Donghyuck. "Too gentle? What did you mean by that?"
"Well, I mean, like... You were always so soft to me, Injunnie. Like you wouldn't hesitate to smack me as a joking context but you don't actually have the heart to smack me in a serious way."
"But isn't that obvious?" Nothing is intended to be funny, yet Renjun couldn't control his laughter.
Holding onto Renjun is like touching a rose. He’s beautiful, elegant, graceful, and full of deep love. But roses have thorns which apply to Renjun as well, he can be fierce for self-defense and protecting himself.
How is it like for a fragile, ethereal rose to do such thing?
“Hurt me as much as you love me.” It’s okay. Donghyuck doesn’t think he deserves a careful love anyway. It’s like a dream too good to be true, for a person like him.
“I love you as much...,” Renjun wraps Donghyuck in a hug that could withhold a thousand butterflies from flying away, “I love you as much as I don’t want to hurt you.”
“... Renjun,” Donghyuck finally cried, and he never would’ve bravely show it, yet Renjun witnessed his tears falling slowly. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Donghyuck,” it’s pleasant, and Donghyuck wishes time to stop ticking. He wants to stay in this moment forever. In Renjun’s arm, feeling safer than ever. Because Renjun holds him as if he’s holding a flower that he would never let it get swayed by the breeze. “I love you so much, my Sun. I want you to know that I will continue to love you until death do us apart.”
Donghyuck sniffled, “Sorry for being such an annoying boyfriend.”
“You may be the most annoying person I see on Earth and it’s a fact. But I believe it’s because God made you too perfect and flawless that He had to nerf you. I understand.”
“Fuck off,” Donghyuck laughed finally, tears outburst but with a smile. “You still love me.”
“That’s right. I still love you,” Even now, Renjun’s sincerity doesn’t fade. “Brightest sun in the whole universe.”
Everything remains unreal for Donghyuck to believe, but as long as Renjun is by his side, he feel eternally loved.