Work Text:
To fall in love with your best friend
He has to be your best friend first
So when a little voice in your head asks,
“Why are you still hanging out with the Brekkes?
Your dad doesn’t like them.
He pretends he does,
But you can’t lose decades of hatred overnight,”
Tell it,
“I hang out with them because I like them.
I hang out with them because I care about them more
Than I give a shit about
What my dad thinks.”
It happens quickly.
By Christmas, you’ll text every day.
By summer, you find it endearing
(not annoying)
That Fen rarely uses your first name,
Instead opting for
“Thorsen,”
“Geek,”
Or simply,
“Hey you.”
By the time you start high school,
You call him your best friend,
Over Hunter, or Cody,
Or Reyna,
Or your brothers,
And you like that.
Fen is surprisingly open once you get to know him.
And when your friendship gets
Well
Confusing
Halfway through your freshman year,
Don’t worry.
You’re not growing apart.
Not even close.
When you notice the butterflies
Or realize he makes your heart beat faster
And your palms sweat
Ignore it.
If you realize that
Maybe
You have a crush on Fen
You might try to get rid of it
(because imagine how that would look to your dad)
And we can’t have that.
Of course, you’ll put the pieces together.
Next summer, when you walk in the park side by side
His hand brushes yours
(by accident, probably)
And you’re worried you might faint
And you can’t ignore it any longer.
Don’t try to “get over it”.
That won’t work.
And for gods’ sakes,
Don’t avoid Fen.
Don’t think he won’t notice.
He’ll notice.
Don’t think he won’t care.
He’ll care.
You’ll both be in agony while you
Avoid him in the halls
Only text one-word responses
And pretend you’re too busy to get dinner
(that one hurts Laurie, too)
For three endless weeks.
When he confronts you,
(Why did you think he wouldn’t confront you?)
(Fen’s not the type to pull his punches)
(You know that)
(He’s your best friend)
You can tell him that you were going through
Stuff
You hit a rough patch
You didn’t mean to hurt him
It’s true (mostly)
And he trusts you
Don’t worry, you won’t have to deal with this secret for long.
Here’s what to do.
When the descendants
(Mostly Reyna)
Organize a Christmas party,
Volunteer to host it.
When you’re decorating,
Someone will hang mistletoe
Plastic, of course, but you still feel bad for Baldwin.
Take it down.
When Reyna tapes it over your bedroom door,
Leave it there
And forget about it.
Because Fen will ask to borrow a book later.
Offer to go upstairs and get it with him.
Then you pause in the doorway,
Thinking you’ve forgotten something.
When you remember,
Look up
Fen’s eyes will follow yours
And he’ll blush (you can’t remember ever having seen Fen blush).
Then you stammer something
(you can’t remember what)
(it might have been “is this okay?”)
And he nods
And you kiss him because,
Stop lying to yourself,
You want to and maybe,
Just maybe,
He wants you to,
Too.