Work Text:
—
"I don't think it's working out anymore, Sung."
Jisung didn't answer, didn't even look at him.
It's been like this for a while now, both of them living like ghosts in the same house. Minho worked 'til morning while Jisung spent all night at the studio. They barely had time to eat dinner together and when they do no words are exchanged. Just the clattering of plates and the sound of utensils.
"What do you want for dinner?" Jisung said, face expressionless but his eyes remained on the road.
"Jisung, did you even hear what I just said?" Minho asked, voice mixed with annoyance and disbelief at what the younger had said.
Jisung remained unmoving. He couldn't tell what the younger was thinking about, nor could he tell if the younger was feeling anything at all. He seemed like a robot, numb and just, there.
"Minho, I can't do this right now." He said, briefly closing his eyes. When he opened his eyes he looked at Minho.
After maybe a month, he finally got a good look at the man he knew and loved. He looked pale. There were bags under his eyes, and his cheeks seem emptier than they used to be.
It hurt him to look at Jisung in this state.
He turned his head looking outside the window on his right. He couldn't face Jisung like this.
"We should take a break."
Jisung's eyes were on the steering wheel, his hands gripping it harder than he should. The hood over his head covering the way his face contorted to fight off his tears.
"Minho, please." He begged, in a quiet voice. "Let's talk about this at home."
"You know very well that if we do we won't actually talk about it right?" Minho said, facing Jisung again. His eyes were on the road again, but this time there was a glassy shine to them, his cheeks stained.
"It'll be better for us. If we're meant to be, I'm sure we'll meet again." Minho whispered, taking Jisung's hand into his.
"I loved you, I still do. I just need time away."
Jisung looked at him again. Their eyes locked as he watched tears fall from Jisung's sunken cheeks. "You know I don't believe in that kind of stuff, right?" He said quietly.
"Yeah." Minho simply answered.
"If something needs to change, why can't we just do it together?" Jisung said, eyes alternating from the road and Minho. If it wasn't for the current situation, he would've found it amusing. Jisung had always struggled to multitask, he always said it was the one thing Jisung can't do out of the million things he was good at.
"You can't have it all, Han Jisung." He joked, smile reaching his eyes. The younger huffed with a pout, "Just give me time, I can do anything." He reasoned.
"Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night."
Minho watched the streetlights pass them. The strangers that he was sure he was only going to meet once. The mom that was very obviously scolding his son in front of a toy store. All of these were just passing moments.
But deep inside him he hoped that all of it wasn't just passing cars.
"Fine."
He looked into Jisung's eyes once again. The younger's eyes were much clearer than they were a minute ago.
"If that's what you want, I can't stop you." Jisung said, cheeks glistening red. Before he could do anything, in a second the flash of bright lights had them spinning in impact.
"I love you."
Minho kept his eyes shut.
"Promise you'll die with me again?"
He opened them to take Jisung's hand into his. They locked eyes, for the very last time.
He felt a pull, something that was tying him together. He felt it snap. Next thing he knew black was the only thing he saw.
—
Running through the forest wasn't really the best plan he had thought of.
But what other options were there when your father, the king, wants you and your lover's head.
Their breathing was the only thing that could be heard, along with the twigs breaking under the soles of their shoes.
He looked at Jisung, the love of his life, the moon cascading on his features.
He wondered if things could be different.
"I love you." He said.
Jisung turned to him, the worry washes from his face and a smile replaces it. He reaches his hand to him and he takes it.
A loud bang echoed through the trees, soon he was falling to the ground.
"Minho!" Jisung shouted. The pitter patter of the horses' feet kept him grounded.
He heard crying.
Jisung cradled him into his arms. "No, no. Live for me please."
His consciousness was slowly slipping away. He could barely process what was going on. "How dare you shoot your prince, the heir to the throne!" Jisung shouted at the guards.
"We were ordered to shoot both of you." He heard someone say.
There was shouting and struggling. He felt like he was being pulled away.
"Leave them be, for now. Once the prince has passed he has nowhere else to go."
Minho put all the strength that was left in him to caress Jisung's cheeks. "I always loved your cheeks." He smiled.
"Minho, please. Not like this." His lover cried, and weeped. He couldn't do anything else but to savor the remaining seconds he had holding onto his soulmate.
"Promise you'll die with me again?"
—
"What are their vitals?"
"The other one is unresponsive; his pulse is weak and he already received CPR."
"We can't fit them both, one has to wait for the next ambulance."
Minho lifts his hand, reaching for something… anything.
"Jisung. Where's my Jisung?" He said weakly.
"He's fine, sir. Can you tell me your name? Can you do that for me?" Someone said from beside him.
"Jisung."
"Is your name Jisung?"
"No, no. Minho."
"Okay, Minho. We're going to take you to the hospital now, yes? You're going to be okay."
"Where's Jisung?" Minho was able to get out, his throat was dry and his head was still spinning.
"Is Jisung the one you were with?"
"Yes."
"Okay, no need to worry. He's going to be okay. He'll go right after us, he has to wait for the next ambulance."
"No! Let him go first. I'm fine, I can manage longer than he can." Minho says, trying to pull himself back from unconsciousness. "Sir, I need you to calm down." She says.
He didn’t miss the way she hesitated before she spoke again.
"He's doing okay, great even."
"Please tell him I love him. I can't lose him, not like this."
—
The rooftop was quiet. The only sound that could be heard was their heavy panting. He looked at the hand that was intertwined with his. If only things were different, if only he hadn’t killed his boyfriend’s dad. Then again, he did promise to never let anything happen to Jisung.
With a homophobic dad you were really out of options.
He heard the loud footsteps going up the stairs. He made sure the door was locked before he pulled Jisung to the edge of the building.
They knew this was how it was going to end.
It was inevitable.
Living in a world where you either get killed or socially outcasted for loving the same gender sucks ass if you ask him.
“Minho…”
He looked at his boyfriend with glassy eyes and a pained smile. “I love you.” He watched how Jisung’s lips mouthed the words he wanted tattooed to his forehead.
They stepped on top of the ledge looking down at the busy street.
He turned to Jisung one last time, squeezing his hand.
“Promise you’ll die with me again?” He said, slightly swinging their hands.
“I’ll do it all over again if it means I can spend eternity with you.” The younger whispered.
He closed his eyes, inhaling the cold night air.
He let go of Jisung’s hand right as they were about to tip off. All of his weight pulling him down to his end. He mouthed an I love you before he closed his eyes.
“No! Please.”
—
The hospital lights were blinding as he was pushed through doors.
“Jisung?”
“Minho? It’s me. Jisung— h-he’ll be okay. Hold on a little longer for him, yeah?”
Was it Chan? Maybe it was Changbin? He didn’t know anymore.
All he could see was the fluorescent light that shone above his head. Everytime he closed his eyes, the broken smile he saw burned into his memory. All he could think of was Jisung. The Jisung he loved more than the world could allow. The Jisung he planned to spend the rest of his life with.
His cold hands went to reach for the person closest to him.
“Hold Jisung’s hand for me? He hates the hospital. He’s afraid of doctor’s too. Hum his favorite song. It’ll calm him down.”
He felt a hand squeeze his, sobs coming from the person he was holding.
“Please.”
—
“Stay with me! I’m not losing you, Lee. Not like this.”
He coughed, trying to clear his airways. His captain cradling him in his arms. This was a dumb way to die. If only he followed orders and steered away from the rival ship before it was too late. But alas, he wasn’t the brightest of them.
“Keep him alive at all costs, I’m not losing my first mate!” He heard Jisung say.
“Sir, he’s been under for a while. When we found him his lips were blue and his pulse was weak.”
He felt a hand on his cheek, patting it. “Stay with me baby, please.” Jisung says with a quiver in his voice.
He gave him a weak smile, “Don’t cry for me, captain.”
“How can I not? I shouldn’t have let those bastards get you. It should have been me, not you.” The captain says as he brushes Minho’s hair from his face. He felt the waves of the sea lull him to unconsciousness. “You’ll find a new plaything I’m sure.” He jokes, with the remaining energy he had.
“Now is no time to kid. I don’t want anyone that isn't you. If that means I’ll die alone, then so be it. I’m never replacing you, I can’t.” Jisung says, the tears falling from his eyes like the waterfalls they once spent the night at.
If only things could be different.
“Promise you’ll die with me again?”
—
He woke up a few hours ago.
The nurses nearly tied him to the bed, if Chan wasn’t there they would have sedated him twice. No one was telling him what happened to Jisung. If he was awake, whether his injuries were worse than his, or if he…
He couldn’t have.
This isn’t how it goes, it wasn’t right.
“Please just tell me what happened.” He begged Chan like he hadn’t a hundred times already in the past hour. He was glad it was Chan, if it had been anyone else they would have given up on him an hour ago.
“Minho, I need you to rest. Even if I want to tell you, I can’t. Not right now.”
He pulled at his hair. He cried, sobbing into his empty arms. The arms that were used to holding a certain boy with puffy cheeks and a heart-shaped smile. He can’t imagine never getting to be with Jisung again.
He’d do it all over again if it meant spending eternity with him.
“Tell me he’s okay.” He said, calmer this time.
“Minho…”
“Tell me he’s okay, Chan.”
“I’m sorry.”
Once the words reached his ears he felt the world around him collapse. Suddenly he was rid of all thoughts, the only thing he could hear was static. His eyes went blurry, his vision spinning. “W-What happened?” Minho said with a broken tone, voice cracking.
“He didn’t make it. He was dead before he could make it to the hospital.”
No.
“They tried to revive him on the way here. I begged them to keep trying. He didn’t turn up.”
No.
This wasn’t right.
This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.
Jisung can’t die.
“No, no.” He whispered, his hand going to his pounding head. Chan sat on his bed and pulled him into a hug. Minho let himself be hugged, not being able to move anyway. Chan’s warmth providing a little consolation to his crying soul. “I’m sorry.” He heard the older say.
It should have been him. It shouldn’t have been Jisung.
This was his fault.
He fucked them up.
After a few minutes of him trying to process his lover’s death he let himself cry, sobbing into the older’s shoulders.
“I can’t lose him like this, Chan. The last thing we talked about was taking a break from each other. This isn’t what I wanted, Chan. I need him back, I can’t—” He cried. Tears weren’t falling anymore, but he felt no less broken. Everything was missing, his everything was gone. This shouldn’t have happened.
“This wouldn’t have happened if I had waited. Why didn’t I just shut up!” He said, hitting Chan’s chest. Chan let him.
“No one could’ve expected this to happen. It was a freak accident.” Chan explained, trying to calm Minho down. He was shaking from the cold and from the overwhelming feeling of grief he was feeling. His shoulder shook with each quiet cry that left his chapped lips. His fingertips were numbly gripping onto Chan’s shirt for dear life.
I love you.
… Please.
—
It's been two weeks since Jisung passed away.
Minho felt empty as he was the first time he found out about his death.
He dreaded entering their—his house. Four walls decorated with the memories of a boy that could be compared to a ray of sunshine. Rooms filled with treasured moments of his past that he wasn’t ready to come back to yet.
But he had to.
Before he could enter the house a police car parked in front of their driveway. He watched a man exit the car and make his way towards him with a plastic bag in hand. He waved at the man, forcing a small smile.
“Good morning, sir. These were the belongings found in the car on the day of the accident.” The man had said. “I’m sorry for your loss.” He added. Minho weakly smiled, taking the bag from him. “Thank you.”
The officer was already walking away when he heard him let out a loud ‘Oh!’. He turned around to run towards Minho again. “This was seen under the driver’s seat. It wasn’t opened, so we have no idea what it is.” The man said while handing him a small paper bag barely the size of his hand. “Thank you. I’m sure I’ll figure it out.” He smiled and the cop was on his way back to his car.
He timidly entered the house. He kept his face towards the door with his eyes closed, not really ready to face their home yet. It felt like he was being cut open and salvaged for parts. Everything that mattered was gone and he was left with an unfillable void.
He felt a warm ball of fur rub against his ankle, making him open his eyes. He saw Dori staring at him, and he could’ve sworn he saw Jisung in him. He fell to the floor in tears, holding Dori close to him.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Jisungie…”
“I am so sorry.”
He whispers to himself, while Dori paws at him. The cat was meowing at him as if it was trying to tell him something. Dori gets off of Minho’s lap to nuzzle into the paper bag the cop had given him. He watched the contents fall out and scatter on the floor. It was their smashed phones, a pen or two, coins and one of Jisung’s hoodies.
He watches Dori sniff Jisung’s hoodie and snuggle into it with a loud meow.
“I know, I miss him too.”
He reaches for his phone. The screen was cracked but he supposes he could still get it repaired. He unlocks it with a sigh as he realizes who he had as his wallpaper. It seems like crying was the only thing he knew how to do now. He checks his contacts and notifications. Even scrolling through his and Jisung’s last conversation, which was a dry conversation of who last did the laundry.
He stood from where he was sitting and took a deep breath before making his way to the kitchen.
He saw a stick-it note on their fridge door. Written on it were words in English ‘They were well taken care of - Felix’. He smiled to himself pulling the note of the fridge and placed it on the island. He sat on one of the stools with his head in his hands.
He then remembered the tiny paper bag that the officer had given him. He took it out of his pocket to inspect it.
There were stains on it that were probably from the crash.
He opened it and saw a small box and a note folded eight times. He smiled knowing it was probably Jisung’s doing. He unfolded the note, seeing scribbles and words erased by random lines. He read the few words that were legible.
Spend the rest of our lifetimes with me?
He felt tears fill his eyes again. He then opened the box, knowing what it probably was. Just as he had suspected it was a ring. The most beautiful ring he had seen.
—
“Someone might see us.” Jisung whispers. Minho just smiles and pulls the white rose from inside his coat.
Jisung accepts it with a fond smile. “You shouldn’t have.” The younger says. “It wouldn’t be meaningful if I hadn’t.” He says simply. “Why is there a special occasion, your highness?” The younger boy questions.
“Of sorts.”
He fishes the ring from his pocket and gets down on one knee. Jisung’s hands make their way to his face, covering his mouth in shock. “Minho…”
“Han Jisung, make me the luckiest man in the world… and spend the rest of our lifetimes with me.”
—
“Minho…”
He gives the younger a toothy grin. He gives the younger the candy ring. “Couldn’t really afford to buy you an actual ring yet, I promise I will though.”
“My dad will kill us, you know that?” Jisung says with worry laced in his voice. “Yeah, not if I kill him first.” He jokes.
“Minho.” Jisung says sternly.
“I was joking!” He laughs. The younger smiles, and leans his head on his shoulder. They stay like that for a while. Treasureing the time they had stolen to be together before Jisung’s dad arrives. “I’ll never let him or anyone hurt you again.” He whispers, kissing the top of Jisung’s head.
“Will you do the honors and spend the rest of our fucked up lifetimes with me?”
Just then the door opens.
—
“Minho!”
“Oh, what’s this Captain? A soft spot for your first mate?” One of their rival bandits says as he was pulling Minho away. “Seems like we’ve found the jackpot, ey?” He adds. The rest of his mates snicker with him. “Leave my crew out of this, Park. They have no business with you. It’s me you want.” Jisung says, pulling his gun out and pointing it at the bandit.
“Yeah, but hurting this one may punch some sense into you.”
“If you do anything funny I will not hesitate to shoot you.” Jisung threatens.
“It’s disgusting! You really do have a soft spot for this one, huh?”
Minho manages to wriggle away from the man and decks him. The rival crew starts shooting, and they shoot back. He pulls Jisung away, as far as they could get.
He holds the Captain’s face and whispers, “Whatever happens, you leave me. Okay?”
“You are in no position to give me orders. Minho, I will not leave you here—”
“Please, Sungie. Whatever happens.”
Jisung gives him a look of dread but being unable to do anything as the Captain of the other ship gets a hold of Minho and pulls him away from Jisung. He shoots and manages to hit the man’s shoulder but it was too late.
“We’ll spend the rest of our lifetimes together.” He mouths right before he is thrown off the ship.
—
Minho’s head was spinning.
Jisung was supposed to propose to him.
“Why were we such cowards?” He cried, crumpling the piece of paper in his hand. He stared at the ring that reflected what could’ve been.
They were stupid. All this time, all those lifetimes, and yet they never got to spend any of them happily. Not one, where they ended up together. Were they really just doomed? Is this really what the universe had planned for them?
Could things really be different?
Maybe if things were different.
This time, he was happy to spend just one life with Jisung.
—
He has always hated crowded places. Hated new people, new surroundings.
But he had to be here, it would look great on his resumé.
Only a few hours left anyway. He only had to pass out a few more boxes and he was gone. Tucked away in his room reading a book and drinking his 8th iced americano. He was so excited he carried all the boxes at once.
He realizes soon after that he had overestimated his strength when he bumps into another student from the school he was at.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have carried all those boxes like that. I’m dumb, I really am sorry.”
“It’s fine, no harm done.”
When their eyes met it was as if something came together and suddenly everything was falling into place. He couldn’t explain what it felt like but whatever it is, it felt right.
“I'm Minho, sorry again for bumping into you like that.”
“Jisung, and like I said, It’s fine. It’s not everyday a cute boy in a sweater bumps into you.” The boy smiles. They stay like that for a while just staring at each other, looking into the other’s eyes. “Cute?” He asks.
“Yeah. Cute.”
Minho felt his face heat up. He finished picking up the books that fell out of the boxes.and stood up. To his surprise Jisung takes two of the boxes and lets him carry one. “So, I’m guessing you’re not from around here?” The boy asked while they walked to the school lobby. “Mhm, what made it obvious?”
“Oh nothing, I would’ve already asked you out if you went to this school.”
Minho blushes a deeper red at that.
They reach the lobby and place the boxes down.
Minho kinda felt sad since he thought this was it and that he had ruined the chances he had with the boy.
“Are you free after this?” Jisung says. Minho’s eyes widened, “Are you asking me on a date?”
“Maybe more of you're cute, let’s see where this goes. But it can be a date if you want it to be.” Jisung explains with a wide heart-shaped smile. Minho didn’t believe in love at first sight but Jisung is really testing his limits right now. Everything about him made Minho’s heart flutter in a good way. It even felt full. He couldn’t explain it.
“Hello? You there?” Jisung snaps him out of his train of thought. “Oh! Oh yeah, I’m free.”
“Great, I'll meet you after?”
"Yeah.” Minho says rather bashfully. “It was nice meeting you again, Minho.” Jisung says and extends a hand towards him, he doesn’t hesitate to take it.
Promise you’ll die with me again?
Spend the rest of our lifetimes with me.
Even just one life with you.
I love you.
Minho stares into Jisung’s eyes. Seeing something behind it and wondered if the boy saw it too. “It was nice meeting you too.”
Maybe he did believe in love at first sight.
Or maybe it was just Jisung.
Maybe they've met before?
Maybe they have.
Maybe.