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Ranboo had hated the idea at first.
Dancing across unsteady ice in hastily-made shoes while over a large body of freezing water just sounded cold, dangerous, and uncomfortable. He couldn’t see the appeal in it at all and was, quite frankly, repulsed by the notion.
Yet Tubbo really wanted to go. So Ranboo decided he did, too.
But not before packing an entire picnic and a “useless” first-aid kit meticulously (with extra instant-healing potions) for an hour beforehand. Ranboo couldn’t help the paranoia, it came with the new territory, but Tubbo was there to reassure him and managed to barely complain while he waited with Michael by the door.
“Do you think we are going to need those tortoise hats? I have heard about those…”
“Ranboo, you literally have an aqua affinity netherite helmet. And we’re not doing any swimming.”
Ranboo grasped Tubbo’s hand a little too tight on the way to Phil’s house, so Tubbo just squeezed back. It would never be comforting that this new thing was Tubbo’s idea, those typically didn’t end well, so all he could do was offer his own survival as proof that it had gone fine before, that Ranboo was not going to die. They handed Michael over like a sack of potatoes to the household waiting to watch over him, and Phil insisted on whispering a few comforting things to Ranboo before they were waved off. He also handed them a thermos of tea for later. (Typical.)
They headed off with smiles (or at least one of them was smiling) and started their trek to the nearest frozen-over lake. It wasn’t too far a walk, they were amidst a wasteland of cold, after all, but Ranboo started shivering anyways.
Tubbo tried to sooth him, stroking his hand and patting the grass block he had put in his partner’s hands. “There is nothing to worry about, big man. I would never lead you directly into danger. You know that.”
“Yeah, not intentionally,” Ranboo laughed. “Like, of course I trust you. Of course. But you really insist on the one winter sport that poses uncertainty over water?” He tried to hide his actual nerves in humor, but they both knew his anxiety was getting the best of him.
“Dude, there is literally no chance you are falling in water on my watch. I promise. The ice here is probably the strongest on the fucking server. It isn’t breaking under the weight of two teenage boys.” He looked up at Ranboo, intentionally holding eye contact. “We are just going to have a nice date and I am going to show you a new fun activity. That’s all that is happening today.”
Ranboo hesitated and took a deep breath before nodding, looking down at their moving feet. He chuckled. “You have paint on your shoes, Bo.”
“Aw, damn you Michael,” Tubbo responded, a smile wide across his face. He joined Ranboo with the important task of looking at their feet, each sinking through snow and stepping in unison.
For a bit it was silent, besides the noises of shuffling through snow and trees rustling in the wind and metal skates clinking on Tubbo’s pack. No birds were chirping, no foxes squealing. It was a quiet afternoon.
The snow was packed quite high, but just enough that Tubbo wouldn’t sink too deep as they walked. Ranboo, as usual, had no issue, what with being very light and being significantly taller, but there were a few moments where he had to haul Tubbo up by his armpits out of a hole he hadn’t noticed under the snow. It was routine, they were used to the snow from living in Snowchester and the Antarctic. Ranboo had learned to accommodate to the cold with many strategic layers, and Tubbo had always done just fine with a woolen coat and his hair grown out a bit.
Tubbo was just about to offer to get out his map of the region to navigate when they finally reached the crest of a large hill to reveal a sprawling lake before them. It was blue, sparkling, surrounded by trees, and completely frozen over. Tubbo smiled even wider at the sight of untouched snow and ice, quickly running down the face of the hill to the clearing at the bottom.
He rushed to spread out a blanket and had set out their steaming cups of tea by the time Ranboo caught up to him. The enderman looked hesitant, eyes never leaving the lake before them. He sat down on the woolen blanket and shakily took a sip of tea before quietly asking, “Are you sure the shoes won’t crack it?”
Tubbo looked at him in disbelief before reminding himself again that Ranboo had never done anything quite like this before. The boy was already not great at being super present in nature, and his upbringing wasn’t exactly full of playtime in frozen overworld biomes. Plus, he was naturally anxious and repulsed by water. Before he could start to regret not bringing Phil along for comfort, Tubbo sprang up from his seat on their picnic blanket and bounded onto the ice.
He jumped up and down a few times before running to the middle and sliding onto his bum, shrieking with glee at the sensation of sliding around. Although nearly triggering Ranboo into a panic attack, the carelessness did comfort him in a way. Surely, Tubbo wouldn’t be that playful if he had a shred of fear of falling through the ice. And Ranboo supposed it looked pretty sturdy, not unlike the solid ground he was currently sat on.
“C’mon big man!” Tubbo shouted across the ice. “We don’t have to start with skating! Let’s get you used to being on the ice, yeah?”
Under any other circumstances, Ranboo would have said no. But they had got Phil to watch Michael for a whole day. And they had brought a whole picnic so they could spend as long as they wanted to together. And this was really the only thing there was to do out here. And it really didn’t look that dangerous. And, the most convincing factor, this was Tubbo. And he looked so happy.
Ranboo would be damned if he let his irrational fears stop Tubbo from having a good time. He couldn't help his feelings of instinctual panic be pressed down by a sense of safety and joy and trust.
So he stumbled out onto the ice, at first taking hesitant steps, seemingly testing if the ice could really withstand his weight, even though Tubbo had just proved it to be completely sturdy. After a few steps, Ranboo gained a sense of confidence. Or, that was until his feet completely slid out from under him and he tumbled onto his backside. (Ranboo could have sworn he would be better on ice, this wasn’t the first time. It was purely the whole lake thing that made him anxious.)
Tubbo slid himself over to his husband, clearly having a wonderful time all by himself by simply slipping around (the fur of his coat was clearly perfect for it). “You alright there?” he asked, trying to contain his laughter at Ranboo’s disoriented state.
Ranboo had to suppress a smile as well. Watching Tubbo have so much fun was almost enough to forget the fact that he was hovering over an endless body of water entirely. “Yeah, yeah, I’m alright. Just a little shaky, I think. And I think this is packed ice, which I’m not used to walking on.”
“Yeah, whatever makes you feel better. Now get your ass up, there is some urgent fun to be had.”
Tubbo helped him up (though there was barely anything but ice to brace themselves on). It occurred to them both that perhaps Ranboo and ice were not completely the best combination in the first place. Young boy with a lack of control over his limbs did not mix well with a medium that made normal functioning nearly impossible. After a few tries at spinning around and playing tag, each of which ended with both boys in a heep on the ground laughing, they decided they would take a moment to eat before properly breaking out the skates.
Plopping back down on their blanket, Tubbo disposed of their now-cold tea and rummaged through his pack to find two neatly wrapped baked potatoes and bottles of water that had little stickers on them that said wine in quotation marks. Ranboo got to work on their campfire, getting dry wood and a starter from his own bag and making sure to set it up as far from the ice as possible. Tubbo teased him a bit when he realized it was because Ranboo was afraid of melting the ice.
Laughter floated throughout the empty field of ice before them, and they ate together.
Ranboo settled into contentment, choosing to ignore his lingering fears, and Tubbo worked on fastening both of their skates, having already scarfed down his potato in excitement. The shoes were thrown together leather boots with dulled blades tacked on the bottom. Only last night did Tubbo drop them off at Techno’s house after hours of trying to fix his old skates up himself. Ranboo practically had to force him out the door to go ask the older man for help, but it had surely been worth it. That morning, two pairs of significantly more practical ice-skates had shown up on their doorstep, each with the kind touch of golden eyelets for the laces. They had hand-carved heels made out of wood, and the blades had been transformed from dinky leftovers from past endeavours, to intentionally sharpened hardwood made for smooth skating. Although Techno wouldn’t have been sleeping anyways, it still warmed Ranboo’s heart to know he cared enough to gift them such a beautiful product of his delicate craft.
It only took a few minutes of fumbling and anxious avoidance for them both to be standing at the edge of the ice, skates on and bodies ready to tumble.
“You want me to go first?” Tubbo offered.
Ranboo nodded with a tight smile. His anxiety was creeping back up again, staring out at the waiting ice and imagining the tossing body of water beneath, just waiting to be sunk into.
“Alright. There’s nothing to worry about, Boo, I promise you.” Tubbo stepped onto the ice. “Wait a second, let me get used to it.”
He took a few hesitant strides and shuffled a bit, only making it a few feet from Ranboo before almost falling completely. Tubbo glanced back at Ranboo, but instead of being on the verge of tears, the goat-boy was grinning with glee. His husband’s fearful expression did prompt him to affirm that falling was just part of the game, though the sting didn’t bother him one bit.
“One of the biggest mistakes you can make while skating is being afraid of falling. Nothing will happen if you fumble besides a few bruises, and not being confident only means you’ll have a hard time improving. Sort of like fighting, or throwing ender pearls. Gotta take that leap, y’know.” He flashed his ever comforting smile and continued further onto the ice. Tubbo had done a few slow circles and was then starting to take longer strides, letting himself glide smoothly across the ice. He got used to the flow of it, and it felt like returning to an ever familiar house or cave and knowing the ins and outs of each turning passage. His hands and face turned up to the sky and he let the sounds and feelings of the fresh air overtake him. His body instinctually drifted across the ice, as if he had done this everyday for the past few years, and Ranboo watched in awe.
Once again, the sight and comfort of his husband led his anxiety astray, and he found himself stepping onto the ice without fear. Ranboo only sought to experience what Tubbo was. That freedom and refreshment and connection with the world.
It was a frightened yelp that startled Tubbo out of his trance, and he looked over to see Ranboo fallen over where he had been standing. Yet he looked ok, not completely scared out of his wits, so Tubbo laughed at the snow scattered on his lap and his dazed expression. Tubbo glided over with (suspiciously) elegant strides to and hauled Ranboo up. They slid back with the momentum, hand-in-hand, and laughed.
“I forgot to tell you, don’t lean back too far, or you will definitely fall on your ass.”
A few tries in, Ranboo was walking just fine alone in his skates, taking small steps and barely skating, but upright nonetheless. His hands were splayed out and his tail was frantically struggling to gain friction to try to keep him upright, but to little avail. He just looked like a baby with too many limbs just learning to walk, and Tubbo had the time of his life just watching.
After letting him get used to it a little (or more so just getting bored of the show), Tubbo decided to step it up again, asking, “Hey, big man! C’mon, let’s speed you up a bit.” He offered his hand to his husband, and as soon as it was taken he yanked Ranboo further from the edge of the ice. Taking both of his hands, Tubbo started twirling them in a circle with the momentum, giggling at Ranboo’s alarmed expression and expertly guiding him along to spin. He would adjust the angle of his skates, tap his back to remind him to lean forward, tug his hands to urge him to go faster. Tubbo was the master at teetering on the line of Ranboo’s boundaries, and often pushing them quite a bit. This was the perfect environment: one that was only filled with perceived danger, and one in which Tubbo was well-accustomed to.
There was a moment when he thrust Ranboo forward by his hands and completely let go, sending Ranboo flying across the open ice, arms splayed and back slouched in an attempt to balance. To Tubbo’s surprise, his husband did not fall, coming to a complete stop only a few feet away from the edge and turning back around excitedly.
“Bo, did you see that?” Ranboo called across the expanse that stretched between them. “I was going so fast, and I barely stumbled, and oh my god that was so cool! Did you see me?” His words were jumbled with laughter, and Ranboo started making his way slowly back over to Tubbo.
Tubbo rushed towards him, equally as excited. The actual skating was no big feat, but seeing his husband's excitement was enough to get him hyped. “Yes, that was so good! I was half expecting you to fall, and you didn’t! Do it again!” As they met in the middle, spinning again by their hands, there was no fear in Ranboo’s eyes. “You get it now, don’t you? You felt how good that felt?” Tubbo asked.
“Yeah, I-I think I do. I want to go again, I think. Yeah! Can I?” Ranboo rushed out.
His sudden shift from anxious to eager wasn’t frightening; this was the first time this happened. Ranboo had a lot of boundaries, a lot of lines that were drawn out of irrational fear and perceived risks. Oftentimes Tubbo found he had to shove Ranboo over that line a little harder than desired to get him over that initial wave of anxiety. It was alway worth it, in the end. Seeing that smile on Ranboo’s face made Tubbo want to replay this day all over again, just to witness that moment of clarity over and over.
“Of course you can do it again, Big man. We can stay out here as long as you want, it’ll be more fun the more we practice.” Tubbo wrapped his arms around Ranboo’s sides for a moment, giving him a squeeze and whispering, “You’re high on the thrill, I knew this would happen.”
Ranboo shoved him away with a laugh, almost falling but regaining his balance with the help of his tail grappling to Tubbo. “Shut up, just toss me again, just like you did.”
So Tubbo tossed him, latching their hands and going in a few circles to gain momentum, then releasing and letting Ranboo fly across the ice. He didn’t have to step or lean any certain way or really do anything but keep his balance. Tubbo knew he wasn’t gaining much skill from this, his husband would be equally as useless by himself as when they started, but he did it as much as he was asked to, only because he knew there was a promise of a gushing and ecstatic Ranboo.
They both eventually got bored of the repetitive motions, and Ranboo, still riding a high of adrenaline, insisted on going off towards the other side of the lake.
He started to slip and slide more, actually skating now rather than taking hesitant steps. He was still slow and careful, but more from a lack of experience than anxiety.
Tubbo just sped ahead, occasionally stopping and doing circles around Ranboo, teasing and encouraging. They had almost made it the full length of the lake, what felt like miles to Ranboo, without falling. Almost.
Tubbo readily joined his husband on the floor, and they laughed in satisfaction and embarrassment.
Ranboo insisted on staying down for a bit longer than necessary, repeating how out of breath he was. Really, he was trying to engrave the moment into his memory. The brightness of the hills and sky, the light basking Tubbo’s beautiful, smiling face, the fabric of his pants curled between his fingers in excited energy, the content feeling settled in his ribs. Everything was right, just as it should be.
Not only was it satisfying for Tubbo to see the relief finally cross Ranboo’s face, but it was a learning experience for Ranboo, yet another representation of the good that trust can do. One of those experiences that he would write in his Memory Book to remind himself to disregard his anxiety in favor of his loved one’s advice. He had pushed himself to be here, and it proved the comfort, safety, and happiness of his situation.
He was bloody happy.
“Lug up, big guy,” Tubbo grunted, hauling Ranboo up from the ice. (With surprising ease, he might add. Ranboo kept forgetting how strong the smaller boy was.) “I wanna try something.”
He took one of Ranboo’s hand in his, placing his other on Ranboo’s waist. And he started pulling Ranboo along, swaying to silent music and closing his eyes to concentrate on it.
It was unlike any other emotion had ever felt before. Just completely consuming and blinding. It bloomed up in his chest and flooded his mind and refused to be pushed down. He couldn’t imagine a world where this could ever be taken from him, where he wasn’t exceedingly happy. This is what he had been gifted, what he deserved (as Tubbo convinced him), and it wasn’t going anywhere. As long as he had Tubbo, as long as his family was with him, it would be ok. They could have their share of anxieties and tragedy and loss, but happiness would find a way to persist within each other.
Ranboo stared at Tubbo’s eyes when they opened to look back at him, a rare thing he did not often bring himself to do, and smiled his best smile, trying to convey his gratefulness, his contentment. Tubbo’s ear twitched and his slime widened. Here they were.