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2021-08-21
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An Easy to Read Heart 읽기 쉬운 마음

Summary:

ep 6
feverish gyeoul and caretaker jeongwon

PD's robbed us this 🥲 why didnt they put it on the episode...? or at least tell us more context of what happened?
my longing for this scenario dragged me back from writing purgatory.

Notes:

this is not connected to any of my previous works. i tried to make it canon-compliant even tho the current direction of the show was 😅
not proofread, it's literally 1 am right now.
please enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

There’s a spring in Ahn Jeong-Won’s step as he exited his office and made his way down to the basement parking lot. The quiet night shift murmur enveloped the hospital halls. He was exhausted from the entire day’s schedule and like a kid on a school day, he was excited to finish the shift.

He made sure to get the temperature inside the car just right. Finally, his and Gyeo-Ul’s shift synced. She had escaped the night shift for today. They could at least have a meal together and he could drive her home.

His phone beeped with a message.

I’m almost there.

It was Gyeo-Ul. He smiled and drove toward the hospital entrance. She used to scold him for being so daring as to fetch her right out front. He found her pouts as she did scold him cute and he also found her concern justified. There were some close calls, but a year into their secret dating life and they got used to getting their timing right.

Their natural team work comes into play. Just like tonight. He brings the car around just as she gets out of the hospital’s main hall. She comes out of the doors in steady steps. She doesn’t bother checking around, looking unsure, that would bring more suspicion. Her back’s straight and her eyes were dead set on her goal. She finally reaches the car and she finds her place beside him. She puffs out a sigh of relief as he took her bag from her and put it at the seats behind them. She turned to his amused face with a small smile of her own.

He couldn’t help but reach out to pat her on the head as she puts her seatbelt on. “Good job, today,” he began.

She looked up at him, with a faint smile. “Thank you.”

“Are you ready?” he asked as he shifted the car.

“Let’s go.”

 

Since Gyeo-Ul is now officially a fellow under HPB, he is no longer a direct superior to her. Still, she’s interested in knowing details about the children he’s looking after, their treatment and operations to take. More than that though, Jeong-Won considers himself lucky he could talk to someone about his day without worrying that he’s being too emotional. Gyeo-Ul was always ready to listen without judgment. And it’s also refreshing to listen to Gyeo-Ul. It’s been so long since he himself was a fellow. She’s learning and living the life through fresh eyes.

Although tonight, she seemed a little out of it. He noticed it the first time when they started their car ride a few minutes ago. She was still smiling and engaged as she listened to his story. Asking questions and trying to tell how her day went but her own words were clipped, trying to encourage him to talk more.

“We’re near, are you hungry?” he asked as they’re about to stop by a light. “Are you sure you wanted to eat there tonight? I know you introduced me to the place but it’s like I discovered to like it a lot more that you do.”

“It’s really okay, Professor.” She answered simply.

As the light turned red, he turned to look at her. Her pale face met his stare. Without thinking, he reached out and touched her cheek.

“You're warm,” he immediately found. “Are you not feeling well?”

~

“You're warm,” Jeong-Won said with his eyes widening. “Are you not feeling well?”

“Uh, well,” she stammered. She was indeed, not feeling well. She knew that. But she was really looking forward for their date night to finally happen. She thought she was hiding it well. “I was a little tired. Maybe I’m more tired than usual? I didn’t really notice.”

“Gyeo-Ul…” he sighed. The light turned yellow and his hand went back to the wheel. “You should’ve told me. I don’t want to get you sicker.”

She could hear the immediate concern in his voice. He started to drive again. To her, it’s really not that bad. She probably needs to take something to reduce her fever later tonight, for her to be well enough to get to her shift again the next day, but it was a small risk she was willing to take.

“But, I’m just a little exhausted. I’ll be okay with a little rest later,” she defended. “We only got to see each other like this after almost a week. I already missed you a lot, I didn’t want to miss dinner tonight.”

Curse this fever! She could hear her own sad woes leeching into her words. Well, the high temperature is making her emotional and clingy. Who wouldn’t be? Her boyfriend’s constantly in surgeries and lectures. While she’s become a night creature for consecutive shifts. They may work in the same place but they couldn’t really see each other for a considerable amount of time. Although, the sweet Jeong-Won. The sweet, sweet, Ahn Jeong-Won who still brings her coffee and snacks during her graveyard shift is such a gem. Of course, that was exceptional.

But, tonight was supposed to be a bit more special!  She swapped the glasses to her lenses, she made sure her hair looks immaculate. She usually doesn’t care about her own looks, Min-Ha would frustratingly agree, but tonight she really cared!

It never really goes her way.

“I missed you too,” Jeong-Won consoled her. “We’ll add tonight up to the tally of things we will be doing properly when we get the time.”

“This was supposed to be a bit more achievable than going to the beach and yet we’re failing at fulfilling this one too,” she pouted.

He laughed a little, lightening the mood. “I promise, we’ll do that too.” His free hand reached out to hold hers. “But for now, we’ll get you something to eat first.”

She nodded.

“Let’s get it to-go,” he said. She tried to not grumble and keep being petulant. She really did. Again, blame it on the fever. “Then I’ll drive you straight home. You need to rest.”

She heaved a deep sigh. “It’s gonna get cut short like this…”

“You’ve had a rough week.” He shook his head. “You have to rest, it’s your doctor’s orders,” he smiled at her.

 

Dinner in her apartment was calm and soothing. Her body, as if to tell her that she was really unwell, had felt warmer. Jeong-Won was so attentive as they ate, as always. She couldn’t help but feel sorry at how much dampening this date night took. But Ahn Jeong-Won remained sweet and caring. It almost felt selfish to bask at being the center of attention of her boyfriend.

“Are you done eating?” he asked as she put down her utensils.

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“My Gyeo-Ul is really sick,” He reached up to wipe the side of her lips. “You couldn’t eat as much as you usually do tonight.”

She did try to eat slowly. One, because her body felt heavier. The food they got was good, but sitting up and dining with him felt laborious. Sitting up and dining with him, while maintaining her dignity by not falling face first into the bowl of soup has got to be a top priority. But, second, she wanted to be with Jeong-Won longer. If she tried to eat with the pace she usually has, this night would probably be already over.

And she didn’t really want Ahn Jeong-Won to leave yet.

She took her cup and sipped water. He put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder. “That’s okay,” he reassured.

He moved his hand to feel her forehead. “Tsk. Your temperature’s even hotter now.”

He straightened and started picking up the dishes. “Wait,” Gyeo-Ul stood too and tried to stop him. “It’s alright. I can do it.”

He just smiled indulgently at her. “It’s fine.”

Jeong-Won went to the kitchen sink to clean up quickly. And she watched, transfixed. Tonight definitely went to a different direction than what she imagined it would be. The domestic scene in front of her seemed like a fever dream. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. His back was to her as he washed the few utensils they used. What is it with her and seeing Ahn Jeong-Won take care of her so earnestly that makes her heart melt into a puddle? They’ve been dating for a year now and this never gets old.

In fact, he still manages to raise the bar.

The more he does it, the more she wanted to cling onto him. And she must’ve stood there for a while because he looked up to her sideways with curiosity while drying his hands before speaking.

“Hey, I got this. It’s done. You should—”

His words got cut off as fast as Gyeo-Ul was suddenly right by him. As much as she could, she enveloped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his back.

“Gyeo-Ul…”

“Thank you, Professor,” she mumbled. “You didn’t have to do this. And, I really like that you’re here.”

Jeong-Won recovered and she could hear him lightly chuckle. She leaned her head slightly to the side to look up at him. He covered her hands with one of his own and the other reached up to pat her in the head gently.

Gyeo-Ul couldn’t help but laugh too.

He turned around and rested his back against the counter before pulling her into a full embrace.

“Of course, love,” he said. “Of course, I’ll be here if you need me. It’s not a task.”

She leaned into him then. He rested his lips on the top of her head as he rhythmically ran his hands down her hair. They stayed that way for a while, basking in the quiet of the moment, truly content.

Eventually, reality checked in again and he spoke.

“You should go and take a medicine,” he mumbled as he held her face in his hands. “You should go straight to bed. I better let you rest since I’m done cleaning up.”

Gyeo-Ul’s heart probably dropped to the floor. He’s leaving already?!

But honestly, what can she do? She’s ill and not feeling herself. What was he supposed to do here if he would not leave? The date night has been inevitably cut to this short and asking him to stay here would be a lot. Of course, he has a house to go home to. He should go home.

Is it too much to ask to be his center of attention for just a little bit longer?

She turned to her room look for the fever medicine. Briefly, and alone with her thoughts, she grumbled to herself about the short and sweet turn this night got into. The two of them barely get the time and space to be with each other, unguarded and unpretending, away from people’s eyes. Ahn Jeong-Won has only been sweet and caring all the time, but getting him in small doses only probably made her want to be with him even more. She was never the type to take a long leave or vacation but with thoughts of going away with Jeong-Won? She’s all in.

Now she gets to be extremely coddled by Jeong-Won. And it’s going to end soon. She’ll wake up tomorrow, if she’s lucky, she’ll be back at working rounds with him at the children’s ward. Addressing him “Professor”, ironically, platonically.

She grabbed the packet of fever meds from her medicine cabinet. And then, an idea—a stupid one, but it’s an idea—has popped into her fever-riddled brain.

Is it too much?

 

“Professor,” she went back to the living room to find Jeong-Won sitting by the sofa. He turned to look at her.

“I think, my brother misplaced the fever medicine. I can’t find it,” she explained. “It’s probably around here but it could also be lost with some of his things when he asked for some the other day.”

“Is that so?” he asked, concerned. “You really need to take that before you sleep though.”

She puffed out a breath. “I think,” she uneasily began, “the drugstore around the corner is still open. Can you come with me so I can just buy the medicine instead?”

Yes, this is her grand plan. Heck, she’s literally grasping at straws here, but it’ll be fine. He couldn’t possibly know. She’s going to take a larger risk and sit with this fever a little longer if it means the night could be extended even for just a bit longer.

Her face remained stoic, even as she found her own self extremely clingy.

“Well,” Jeong-Won answered. “I can definitely go. But you must stay here.”

What.

“What?” she walked up to him. “Do you know where it is? I can go with you, you know?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he took his jacket and smiled at her. “You should stay here. Actually, you should get ready for bed. I’ll get the medicine and come back here so you can drink it immediately. And then, you can get to bed earlier and sleep longer.”

And just like that, he was out the door.

The one thing she forgot about Jeong-Won, is that he’s also extremely efficient.

Maybe this is fine. What a crazy twist her mind took her to. Probably something, she’ll never do again. What a boring date this could’ve ended up anyways. Just two doctors, finally taking a break from their hospital shifts and enjoying their night as a couple, to go and end up at a drugstore.

She went back to her room to clean up and change into comfortable clothes.

She sat by the living room in her thick pullover and pajamas. She took her lenses out and switched back to her glasses. She’s feeling extremely chilly now. Part of it’s the fever and another part is that Jeong-Won’s not back yet.

Where is he?

He’s only been gone a few minutes but she’s already missing him. What a heart-eyed, yearning mess she had become.

Finally, he’s back at her door.

“I got it,” he smiled at her as he held in his hands the medicine he just bought. “Sit down, I’ll get you some water.”

Gyeo-Ul could only look on as he busied himself with fetching her a glass.

He sat beside her and handed her medicine and water.

“Thank you,” Gyeo-Ul mumbled and took the medicine. Jeong-Won watched her intently as she washed it down.

“You’ll be fine now,” He brushed the tip of his fingers against her lips. And as if realizing something, his eyes widened then he asked, “You’re not allergic to this, right?”

Gyeo-Ul shook her head no. “It’s the same as the one I usually take when I get sick.”

“I almost missed that,” He sighed, and sagged at his seat.

Gyeo-Ul took a long look at him. She couldn’t help the swell of both gratitude and apology. If she didn’t need taking care of, he wouldn’t have had to bother himself this much. It’s like he couldn’t escape hospital work even for tonight.

Now she’s feeling guilty for even asking him to go out and get the medicine.

She faced him, “Professor, really, thank you for tonight. And I’m sorr—”

Jeong-Won grabbed her by the wrist and pulled, she fell onto him. He enveloped her in his arms and she lay there shocked.

“You don’t have to keep thanking or apologizing,” he said as he brushed the tendrils that fell into her face away. “I want to do this. I want to take care of you. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself too, hmm?”

“Our next date, I won’t be ill. I promise,” she said as he continued to run his fingers through her hair.

“Good,” Jeong-Won answered. “I know transitioning to being a fellow is tough. I worry about you a lot. I feel like taking you out on dates or taking care of you like this is not much but it’s the least I can do.”

“It’s not ‘not much’ though,” Gyeo-Ul said. “I always look forward to our dates. It’s the most fun part of my week.”

“You know that I still have a lot of plans for us, right? Once we get the time we’ll go out of the city. Let’s see the countryside, the beach. I want to watch sunrise and sunsets with you. Somewhere nice and peaceful and romantic. A healing trip for both of us.”

“I love it,” the low hum of Jeong-Won’s voice combined with the way his hands were brushing her hair were effectively lulling her to sleep.

“I know you’re really busy though. I know what that’s like. The last time the five of us even had a trip altogether was when we went to hike Seoraksan… barely out of medical school.” A light tone picked up at his voice at the fond memory.

“Seoraksan?” Gyeo-Ul mumbled. “…Min-Ha’s parents lived by that place.”

“Really?”

“Tell me more...” Gyeo-Ul asked even as she struggled to keep her eyes open. His voice served such a calming lullaby.

“Ah, Ik-Jun, that idiot… He and Jun-Wan said they’d bring some of the snacks then. And you know what he did…”

Her body finally succumbed to the rest it’s been demanding of her. She tried to fight it, but her eyelids drooped and finally closed. She fell asleep.

The next thing she knew was the feeling of being lifted up. Jeong-Won cradled her in his arms and moved to her room. Her back softly met the sheets before the thick blanket covered her. She opened her eyes slightly.

“Hey,” he whispered when he noticed her stirring. “Go back to sleep.”

The room was lit only by the light on the bedside and her vision was blurry. Jeong-Won was tucking her to bed. He then reached out his hand to touch her cheek.

“Your glasses are at this table, okay? I’m going to leave water here too.”

Jeong-Won is leaving now.

“Thank you,” she whispered as her face leaned into his touch.

She felt the feeling of longing for him more intensely, now that all her defenses were down.

She couldn’t tell what Jeong-Won’s expression was like, but she could see that he was only looking at her.

“Be careful on the drive back, okay?”

Even as her eyes fluttered close, she found the strength to reach one of her hands out of the blanket. She reached his touch, and tried to cover his hand with hers. Preserving its warmth so she could keep it for herself through the long night she’ll have on her own.

“Rest well too, okay? You’ve taken care of so much patients today.”

She tried to send him off on a lighter tone. Yes, it’s contradicting to how she truly felt. But her rational thinking left along with her vigor. She couldn’t find a way to articulate what she really wanted to say.

Please stay.

Her other hand reached out of the blankets. Her small hands now held his hand.

Jeong-Won was still quiet so she prompted him again, “You should go now, it’s getting late.”

~

“You should go now, it’s getting late.” Gyeo-Ul mumbled sleepily as she continued to hold onto him.

He didn’t want to leave.

Tonight, definitely started out as a non-conventional date night. Gyeo-Ul was really looking forward to their date and she had to stay home. Jeong-Won tried to make up for that so he tried his best to take care of her. Added to the fact that she’s not feeling well, he was overwhelmed with his feelings of concern for his girlfriend. He knew he had responsibilities and tasks and schedules to get to tomorrow and a full-rested night is what he needed to face all that, but tomorrow felt so disconnected and far away. All he has right here, right now is Gyeo-Ul.

He wanted her to get better. He wanted her to feel comfortable. He needed to know she’ll be alright. He needed to be here for her.

He didn’t want to leave.

Not when Gyeo-Ul also wasn’t making it easy for him to go. She couldn’t let him go. She must feel the same way too, right?

A year ago, the stupid choice of deciding not to see her when she got admitted to the ICU was due to his own irrational fear of owning up to what he felt. But he knew what he’s feeling now, he knew how Gyeo-Ul felt too.

“Gyeo-Ul,” he began in a low voice.

“Hmm?” She answered while still leaning on his hand.

“I want to stay. Do you want me to stay?” He asked. “Can I stay tonight?”

Gyeo-Ul slowly blinked open her eyes. She looked at him. A beat passed.

She slowly nodded her head. “Yes,” she answered, almost a whisper.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Will you really stay here with me? How will you get to work tomorrow?” Gyeo-Ul asked.

“If you’ll let me,” Jeong-Won answered. “I want to look after you. I can just dash back home early tomorrow morning.”

Gyeo-Ul let his hand go and moved further away. She made space for him on her bed. “I would like that.”

He laid on his side beside her. He reached to pull the covers over her again. Tucking both her hands back inside the blankets. He propped his elbow up and rested his head on to look down at her. “Go to sleep now.”

A visible smile showed at her face even as she closed her eyes.

Within minutes her face relaxed and Gyeo-Ul fell into a deeper sleep. It took a few minutes of watching her sleep before he himself also succumbed to shallow unconsciousness.

He woke up a few hours later. It was the middle of the night and he was still sleeping beside Gyeo-Ul. One arm slung over her in an embrace. He soon realized what woke him. He checked Gyeo-Ul’s forehead to find her fever breaking.

She grumbled softly in her sleep, the high temperature covering her face with perspiration. He stood up from the bed to look around the house.

He came back with a towel. He sat by the bed to brush it across her face. She had calmed down after a few minutes and her temperature’s coming back to normal.

It was a long night. He found himself beside her again. Just looking at her face for any signs of discomfort. Fortunately, she didn’t stir awake. Even for all the years of being a doctor, he felt that he did the best job tonight.

Jeong-Won woke up again sometime later. He checked the time and found that his shift will be starting in only a few hours. He then looked at Gyeo-Ul beside him. Color is back on her face and her temperature is normal. The restless night was worth it.

He moved a little so he could embrace her better. Gyeo-Ul stirred then, shifting sideways to face him. She sunk into his body, her face burrowing at his collar.

He reached up to brush her hair gently to lull her to deeper sleep, but inevitably, Gyeo-Ul was awake.

“Professor,” she mumbled sleepily, “are you getting up already?”

“In a little while,” he whispered back.

Gyeo-Ul slung her arm around his torso in an embrace, tucking herself tighter into him. “In a little while…” she repeated.

Now she’s making him not want to leave for a different reason.

But there’s a time for that. He had to make time for that. Jeong-Won’s mind can’t be at the gutter now. This hour and this sleeping position were really constituting bad timing for thinking of other things.

“Thank you for letting me stay over,” he said instead.

“Why are you thanking me?” she asked. “You took care of me all night.”

“As if I could’ve slept peacefully if I were to leave you,” he said. “I was just a little shy, I couldn’t bring myself to ask.”

“Well, don’t be shy next time,” Gyeo-Ul mumbled against his chest. “You're welcome to stay anytime if you’d like.”

Gyeo-Ul moved to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. Her lips touched his skin before she sleepily plopped back down in his arms. Her eyes closed.

Jeong-Won couldn’t help but chuckle at the bold response Gyeo-Ul did. She just shyly burrowed her face into his chest. A quiet moment settled.

“Your heart’s beating really fast,” Gyeo-Ul observed.

“I have a condition that makes it like that whenever I'm around you,” he teased.

“Oh no, that’s terrible,” she replied sarcastically, “You should see a doctor for that.”

“I am,” he answered. “I'm seeing you, aren’t I?”

Gyeo-Ul finally looked up, popping one eye open. “Alright, stop it. You win, Professor Ahn Jeong-Won,” she said while smiling cheekily.

Jeong-Won just looked at her tenderly before kissing her forehead. “I do. I really do.”

Notes:

thanks for reading. thanks for your kudos!

i've been gone for a long while. i feel rusty. what do you think?