Work Text:
A pen, an instrument used for writing. We encounter them almost every single day of our lives, and almost none of us pay that much attention to it. Well, Doyoung was an exception. Doyoung was laying on their bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about anything he could think of at that moment, and that thought just so happens to be all about his life. More specifically, how a pen figuratively wrote his story.
~
3RD YEAR OF COLLEGE
Doyoung was sitting in class, minding his own business. Their professor was handing around a worksheet (which they all knew wasn't important, it was really just to keep them busy which Doyoung always rants about to his friends as it was useless). A piece of paper was put on Doyoung's desk, him immediately getting a pen from his plain black pencil case.
"Ah, shit" he heard someone mutter behind him, causing him to look back to his close friend, Yuta. The older looks up from rummaging through his bag, meeting Doyoung's eyes as his long black hair was framing his hair beautifully. "Do you mind if I borrow a pen? I forgot to bring one." Doyoung sighs, rolling his eyes playfully. He turns around and grabs a pastel blue pencil case from his bag, he was about to hand a pen over to Yuta, but the man himself cut him off. "No, not from that one, the good one, the black one you use." The younger looked at him, acting as if he didn't know what he was talking about. "It's still a pen, what's the difference?" Yuta smiled, that smile that Doyoung always found so comforting, healing, like it brightens up everything around him. "What? You don't think I notice how you have a separate pencil case for your good pens and the bad ones you lend to others? I'm borrowing a pen that actually works, Dons." It was true. Doyoung kept a separate pencil case filled with old and broken pens so that people would stop borrowing from him, apparently, it doesn't work with Yuta. Doyoung turned back around to get his other case, seeing that their professor was giving him a stare, a warning. He didn't argue any more and just went straight to answering after Yuta thanked him for the pen.
Well, he tried. Even after being best friends ever since they were in high school, Doyoung still found the way that Yuta noticed those little things... adorable? Endearing? Nice? Cute. He found it cute. He spent half of the time thinking of the answers to the questions on the paper in front of him, which he's fully aware he knows, but he guesses that thinking of the cute guy behind him, his friend, doesn't really help with remembering. He always felt something for Yuta, but he always thought it was just because they've been friends for a long time. He didn't know what clicked at that moment, but he might start to rethink his feelings for his friend. His best friend.
~
COLLEGE GRADUATION
After their college years of hell were over, they now stood at their graduation venue. In those years, something did treat them good. Well, someone, and not just good, it was wonderful. They had each other. One time in their third year during their summer break, the two decided to go out just for fun. The two were riding their bikes side by side, looking into the sunset for a while but still being wary about where they're going even if there were barely any other people in the street. As Doyoung was staring off into the distance, Yuta blurted out those three little words. I love you. Doyoung was tired from riding the bike, but in that moment it was as if all of that tiredness disappeared. The words rang through his ears. Is this what heaven sounds like? Doyoung thought. After months of burying himself in what he thought was unrequited love, his best friend surprisingly felt the same. So he said those three words back.
Now here they were, graduating college hand in hand, together. Right after they tossed their graduation caps up in the air, Yuta grabbed something, giving it to Doyoung. "What? What am I supposed to do with a pen?" Doyoung asked with a smile taking over his face. "It's your pen. I'm finally giving it back after a year. I found it in my drawer yesterday and thought it'd be nice to give it back? I don't know." Yuta was also smiling and all that ran through their minds at that moment was how much they'd want to celebrate more milestones in their lives with each other. "See! This is why I don't let anyone borrow my good pens. Turns out I can't even trust my best friend. What a cruel world." Doyoung dramatically says, playfully hitting Yuta in the process of doing so. "It's boyfriend for you." Yuta just chuckles along, putting an arm around Doyoung's shoulder. They spent the rest of their day like that. Happy. And hopefully, they could spend the rest of their lives like that too.
~
3 YEARS INTO DOYOUNG AND YUTA"S RELATIONSHIP
After graduating and moving in together, still being as in love as ever, Yuta popped the question. "Dons, Doyoung, Kim Dongyoung, the love of my life, there are not enough words to articulate how much I love you but there might be just the right amount to express how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Doyoung, will you marry me?" Doyoung said yes.
Now here they were, signing a marriage contract. With the same pen that started their journey of (romantic) love. It was just handed to them, but still, it had the same brand, same color, Doyoung could've thought they took it straight out of his pencil case from college. "This is it. We're married." Doyoung said, and for a moment Yuta thoughts he could see the whole universe in his eyes, shining brightly, radiating his happiness. "You're never gonna get rid of me now." Yuta said, grinning widely. They both giggled at that, and all they could think about was how they've officially tied the knot. And hopefully, they won't be cutting it off.
~
A YEAR AFTER DOYOUNG AND YUTA'S MARRIAGE
"We're actually going to live here, huh?" Doyoung stated more than asking, but Yuta still answered. "Depends, I could kick you out when we fight and throw all yourself things outside like in the movies." Yuta say jokingly, earning another playful hit from Doyoung. They both looked around the house they were in. It was empty, but it already felt full of love. They signed some paperworks in order to buy their first ever house together. Doyoung held the same pen in his hands, now in order to buy a home. Doyoung keeps on passing it off as a preference (Yuta couldn't blame him, it was a great brand) but he knew deep down that it had more value as it gives off.
~
A FEW YEARS LATER
Everything went smoothly. Doyoung and Yuta had their own jobs. They had a perfect routine. They'd spend the morning before going to work together, and they'd spend the evenings together too. The two took turns on who's cooking dinner every night. They would always make time for each other for their date nights each week.
Was. It was in past tense. Neither of them were sure about what exactly happened, it just slowly fell apart. Their perfect routine started to get wrecked. The mornings together became rushed and annoying. The evenings together was now just looked forward to for rest, and not for the other's comfort. Instead of cooking for each other, they would now just eat outside by themselves, make meals for themselves, or sometimes just not eat dinner at all. The time made for each other became time for everything else but them. One would always stay out later than they used to. They still loved each other, but not like before.
"Yuta, we need to talk." Doyoung got Yuta's attention as the older was washthe dishes. "Uh, yeah sure." Yuta quickly dried his hands, leaving the sink to sit on the kitchen stool. Yuta wasn't dumb. He knew what was happening. None of them expected it to happen, it just did. They were happy, but not truly. They were still together, but now justified physically. They fell out of love. Both of them knew this talk was coming, Yuta holding it off for a bit more,but Doyoung broke the silence and did it for him. "Yuta, you're one of the smartest people I know. I know you know what this is about. And before I give you this something, I want to let you know that I love you, very much so, and you'll always have me. You're my best friend, and that will never change. Just— I love you." Doyoung handed over an envelope to Yuta. "W-what's this?" Yuta asked as he was opening it. "I- um, divorce papers. Yuta we both know we need this. I'm tired— of our situation. Neither one of us are even fighting anymore." Doyoung said, voice low and eyes glossy. "Okay." Yuta said,the same sad expression on his face. "It can be hard bu‐ huh?" Doyoung started to process what Yuta said. "Okay. I'll sign it. I'm sorry. I really am. I always thought we'd grow old together. Adopt kids of our own. But I guess we both lost that now. Those strong feelings. They're gone." Both of them were now very obviously close to crying. "Don't be sorry. We didn't choose it. It just happened. There must be a reason, right?" Yuta nodded.
"You're still my soulmate, Dons. Maybe not romantically, but you always will be." The tears started streaming down Doyoung's face, Yuta's following shortly after seeing Doyoung. "God, I'll miss you." Doyoung said, voice cracking. "I'll miss the feeling too, but not you. We'll always have each other, that won't change." Doyoung smiled, though it was not the wide gummy smile that lit up Yuta's world, Yuta tried to smile too. Doyoung handed over a pen to Yuta. Almont the exact same pen that Yuta borrowed from him in college. The pen Yuta returned to him a year after at their graduation. The pen they used to sign their marriage contracts. The pen they used to sign the paperworks for their home. The pen that was now used for signing their divorce papers. Yuta stared at the pen for a couple of seconds, he must be having the same thoughts at that moment as he smiles to himself, a small, not so happy smile. He looked at the paper now, smile slowly dissolving. He stared at it for a couple of seconds. The moment the pen hit the surface, he knew it would be the start of something new whether it be bad or good. He finished signing, putting the papers back into the envelope and handing them to Doyoung. They smiled at each other politely and then pulled each other for a tight hug. It's not like they would disappear from each other's lives, but they both knew they needed it. They didn't really cut off the knot, they unraveled it.
They stayed in each other's embrace for a few more seconds, treasuring the feeling. Still within Yuta's hold, Doyoung spoke with the voice that seemed like it was going to break any second. "I guess this is goodbye then?" The two couldn't stop the tears straining their cheeks. Sniffling while empathetically smiling. Yuta's voice now also seemed like it was breakfast he spoke.
"No, not goodbye. More like a 'we'll meet again.' In a different life, under different circumstances, and in our own world"
They may not be living the perfect and happy life together that they've always dreamed of, but goingback to beingfriends insteadof going back to beingstrangers is much better than nothing. Now that? That was enough for them.
Back to the present, as Doyoung was reminiscing while laying on what used to be their bed, a notification from his phone averted his attention from the ceiling.
Yuyu
Dons! Are you free for dinner? I told Sicheng all about my awesome best friend and now he wants to meet you :P
It's on me don't worry :D
He typed out a quick reply saying was indeed free. He smiled, happy for Yuta, his best friend. And maybe, just maybe, Doyoung also hoped to meet someone for himself too.