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Nights on Caparis are cold, Jisung is reminded as he rushes towards the shuttle docks. It seems even colder in the summer, when the sun is the farthest away.
He is also reminded how small Caparis is, with just one tiny space port serving the whole planet for intergalactic transportation. One more reason for him to get off the planet.
Running away might not be the best way to handle problems, but at least it will buy him some time, Jisung thinks. He knows it’s a dumb thing to do. He’ll most likely not get very far on his own and make himself look like a coward, but so what? Maybe Jisung is a coward.
Maybe he’s overwhelmed enough to ignore all of the above and just run. Maybe he can’t bring himself to care enough to even think about these odds as he reaches his shuttle, throws his hurriedly packed bundle of belongings into the tiny sleeper-cab in the back and starts the engines.
The shuttle reacts immediately, the sound of rattling motors buzzing in Jisungs ears as he rushes through the familiar pattern on the control panel to prepare for take-off. He slams himself into the cockpit seat and grabs the control wheel just in time to navigate the departure from the shuttle docks, accelerating until the spacecraft warning lights of the port were about the size of a light bulb.
It's a shame that he won't join the air force like his parents wanted him to, because if there's one thing Jisung is good at, it's flying. He used to feel proud when his father told him he was born to be a pilot, but now the words leave a bitter taste in his mouth.
Jisung lets go of the controls, sending the shuttle into autopilot, allowing himself a moment of peace and quiet. There is no going back now, it is just him, his shuttle and the stars abov—
"Where are we going?"
Jisung nearly falls off his cockpit seat when he hears a familiar voice behind him. His head snaps around to find the source and into focus comes the frame of a boy his age, dressed in a pair of gray linen pyjamas, black messy hair falling into his eyes, squinting at the bright lights above the control panel. Jisung has to hold his breath to prevent himself from screaming out of shock.
What in the name of space is Lee Jeno doing in his shuttle?
Questions pile up on the tip of his tongue – what is he doing here in the middle of the night? Isn't he supposed to be asleep? Where did he just come from? And most importantly, why him? Jisung doesn't really know what to ask first and it takes him a moment to gather himself upon the unexpected sight of his best friend.
Jeno seems to pick up on the shock on his face and doesn't wait for him to speak first. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he says, apologetically putting his hands up, his confused expression mirroring his own.
Jisung feels the shock falling from his shoulders in an instant. "It's fine, I just... didn't notice you were here."
He watches Jeno cock his head to the side the way he usually does when he finds something amusing, and chuckles. "Yeah, I noticed."
It's enough to make his heart flutter and that fact alone makes Jisung want to scream. You see, there are several reasons that have lead to his decision to run away, one being his parents pressuring him into joining the Intergalactic Air Force – basically another name for the intergalactic military – and the other main reason now standing in his shuttle with the audacity to look this good even with bed head hair and ruffled pyjamas.
Curse the galaxy for putting so much beauty into this boy, and curse Jisung's brain for malfunctioning in his presence.
"What are you even doing here?" He finally manages to ask as he tries his best to focus on the problem at hand.
"I was sleeping," Jeno says like it's the most obvious thing in the universe while running a hand through his messy hair. "At least until you threw your bags in my face and started the engines – not the most gentle way to wake someone up by the way. The real question is, what are you doing?"
Jisung can't help but stare at him in astonishment. "This is still my ship, you know."
"That's a big word for a single seater shuttle." Jeno gestures at the small cockpit space behind him.
"Jeno."
The boy looks back at him when he hears his name and their eyes lock for a moment. Jisung doesn't say anything else, just stares at him until Jeno averts his gaze, a defeated sigh falling from his lips.
"I, uhm—" he begins and promptly looks down on his hands as if he was embarrassed. Then he lifts his head and their eyes meet again. "Please, don't get mad."
Jisung immediately softens at the pleading look in Jeno's eyes and feels his heart clench in worry. He gives his friend a reassuring look, a silent promise.
Jeno takes a deep breath before he speaks again. "I got kicked out," he explains with a shaky voice. "The head engineer found out I stayed at the mechanic's quarters and banned me from his workshop. I didn't know where else to go, so…"
He sounds dangerously close to tears, biting down on his shaking bottom lip and Jisung can see that he is trying his best to contain his emotions in front of him. It hurts to see his friend like this, so lost and vulnerable and yet too proud to let a single tear escape his eye.
Jeno rarely let's his walls down and Jisung supposes it's a habit he developed early on as a way to protect himself. Orphaned at a young age, he was passed around Caparian families, none of which cared enough to treat him well, until he decided to live on his own.
It's not rare for boys their age to do illicit work, the black market being the biggest source of income for the planet, and so that's what Jeno has been doing ever since he moved to the streets. Trust issues are a given side effect for any teen experiencing the harsh and unforgiving life in the slums of Caparis.
For the past sixth month, the boy has been working for one of the smaller spacecraft production firms, illegally of course, earning a roof to sleep under instead of wages. The head engineer wasn't happy to learn about an unpaid minor sleeping in his quarters, Jisung guesses.
Jeno can pretend to be okay all he wants, Jisung knows he's not from the way his head is tilted towards his feet, hiding the despair in his eyes behind a curtain of black hair, his hands folded into fists, knuckles turning white.
Lee Jeno must be the prettiest yet unluckiest guy in the Galaxy.
"I'm running away," Jisung whispers into the silence that has settled in the shuttle, as if to say 'my turn to confess now.'
Jeno looks up to him with big eyes that shimmer in the starlight (or maybe that's just his imagination) and Jisung feels his cheeks burning up under his gaze as he continues.
"I'm leaving Caparis. For good."
Jeno exhales sharply and he can practically see the clouds of worry forming in his eyes.
"Oh, Ji," he lets out softly and that is all it takes for both of them to collapse into each other's arms, walls breaking down and barriers shattering apart as their bodies collide into a bone-crushing embrace in the middle of the shuttle.
Jeno's arms find their way around his waist, pulling him as close as possible to his chest and Jisung loses himself in the way their bodies fit together perfectly, as if they were made to hold each other like this.
"You really thought you could get away with leaving me behind, huh," Jeno whispers into his ear. It's supposed to be a light-hearted comment, clearly meant in a joking manner, but Jisung can't help but notice the hurt in his voice.
He has to swallow down the lump of guilt that is forming in his throat before he answers. "I didn't think of anything, actually. I didn't even think I'd get this far."
Jeno huffs in response, still not letting go of Jisung, as if afraid that he would run away the moment he releases him, which is ridiculous given the fact that they're stuck together in a tiny space shuttle that is currently on target for … Fuck.
Jisung spins around on his heels with Jeno's arms still around his waist, eyes flying to the cockpit window where a floating coal-black body of stone leaps into view. It's a familiar sight — the rocky, airless structure covered by layers of dust — he's seen it frequently in his years of flight training, always cautious to keep his distance, and for a good reason.
His breath gets caught in his throat and he can feel his heart beating loud and fast against his ribs as he stares at the horrifying view, frozen.
He hears Jeno gasping next to him. "Is that—" His voice quivers and he doesn't finish the question, but he doesn't need to because Jisung already knows the answer.
"Yeah," he croaks out, his throat drier than the Caparian Deserts.
"We're about to crash into an asteroid."
He feels Jeno turn to him with rising fear in his eyes. Jisung knows he's supposed to do something about the threat they're facing — namely getting crushed by a giant swarm of asteroids, — but his body doesn't seem to remember how to move and the tight feeling in his chest doesn't allow him to breathe.
"Jisung?"
Jeno's voice sounds distant, as if he's calling him from far away; an echo sent from another galaxy desperately trying to reach his ears, but it gets drowned out by a high-pitched ringing sound. He sees the other's lips moving, but can't make out any words other than his own name. The ringing gets louder and louder until it's all he can hear and Jisung can't help but press his palms against his ears and close his eyes at the overwhelming sensation.
When he opens them again, he's on the floor. Someone is hovering over him, a hand shaking his shoulder, trying to wake him up from the entranced state he is trapped in. It feels like the entire universe collapses in front of his eyes as grey linen, blinking control lights, black orbs and the stardust above them melt into one.
The next thing Jisung remembers is this: soft lips pressing against his own, sending him back into his body where he can hear his own heartbeat and feel the adrenaline in his veins. For a moment, time seems to slow down, and in the next, the sensation is already gone.
Jisung opens his eyes to find the boy that is holding him, hands gently wrapped around his face, eyes as deep and dark as a starless night, a worried smile splayed across his lips:
Jeno.
The boy looks at him with so much intensity that his heart skips a beat. This time when he speaks, Jisung can hear him loud and clear.
"It's okay. I've got you. We're going to make it, Ji, okay? You can do this. Breathe for me."
His body seems to resonate with Jeno's voice and finally, finally he is pulled back to reality.
"Jisung, are you okay?"
He nods. "Yeah, yeah, I think so."
"Can you—" Jeno hesitates for a moment. "Can you fly us out of here?"
He doesn't get an answer as Jisung is already halfway in his cockpit seat, hands flying over the control panel. He hastily turns off the autopilot and grabs the control wheel, fingers so tightly clasped around it that his knuckles turn white.
Jisung takes one deep breath to absorb the view ahead of them. They've almost reached the orbit, so the swarm of asteroids traveling along will hit them any second now.
He breathes out and lets his inner pilot take over.
Crossing an orbit should be easy for him. He's done it before when he was in pilot school. Granted, those asteroids were mere simulations, but he has taken pride in mastering even the most difficult level of that exercise. And there is something he didn't have back then; something worth saving.
If the time slowed down when Jeno kissed him, it is moving faster now. Jisung manages to navigate the shuttle through the first portion of the orbit without any difficulties. Jeno is by his side the whole time, trying to keep his balance but ends up falling to the ground when Jisung has to take an extra sharp turn in order to dodge one of the bigger asteroids. He stays there for the rest of their orbit dive, fingers nervously curling in his thigh.
The next spin is even sharper, bending the shuttle into a vertical position. Another coal-black body of stone misses them only by a noses' length. Jisung brings them back into the horizontal in a matter of seconds, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach.
Just when he thinks they've left the worst of it behind them, he feels the jolt in his bones. Their balance is off. One of the smaller asteroids must've crashed into the back of the shuttle, a blind angle for the pilot.
"Can you check the propulsion system?" Jisung asks in the next turn he takes.
He sees Jeno moving in the corner of his eyes. The boy finds the control system without any instructions, trained hands flying over the complicated labyrinth of motorics that keep the shuttle up in space. Like the skilled mechanic he is, Jeno spots the problem within seconds.
"One of the main engines failed," he shouts. "If we lose another, we'll crash."
Jisung presses his lips into a line as he gathers every bit of remaining concentration. He can't afford to make any more mistakes now.
It's a rocky flight, but in the end, they make it to the other side of the orbit without major damages apart from a few light bumps and the bruises Jeno has collected on their turbulent asteroid parkour. Jisung accelerates until he has brought a safe distance between them and the orbit.
"Holy universe, Ji! That was incredible!" Jeno yells out from behind him.
Jisung lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He feels the pressure on his ears starting to fade as he navigates the shuttle into a slower pace, now on target for their violet neighbour planet, Lamentis.
He almost jumps out of his seat when he feels two sturdy hands on his shoulders, slender fingers digging into the muscle in an attempt to relieve him of stress. Jeno might be trying to help, but all it really does is make his heart beat even faster than it was a minute ago when they were trying to escape death. The touch sends a shiver down his spine and frees the butterflies in his stomach as Jisung is hit by a shocking realisation.
"What just happened?"
Jeno's hands still. "We flew through a fucking swarm of asteroids."
"No, I mean," Jisung spins around in his cockpit seat, "before that."
"You had a panic attack," the boy replies, quiet and gentle. "You panicked and I…" His voice fades and he looks down to stare at his hands playing with the fringe of his linen shirt.
Jisung feels a peng go off in his chest and before he knows it he's up on his feet, eye to eye with Jeno. He gently caresses his cheek, while his other hand slowly glides into Jeno's to intertwine their fingers.
When their eyes meet again, Jisung almost gasps at the intensity of Jeno's gaze. His dark orbs shimmer in the light of the stars, tiny galaxies of them sparkling back at him. The way he looks at him is gentle and kind as ever, yet there's something else in it, something that may have been there all along that Jisung has never noticed before.
For a moment the world goes quiet, as if to listen to the tension crackling in the air.
The spell is broken by the collusion of their lips.
Jisung doesn't know who leans in first, but the moment their mouths connect he forgets everything around him, completely lost in the way Jeno's lips move against his. The kiss is fierce and passionate, unlike the first they shared. Jeno kisses him with so much force and fervour that Jisung feels his knees grow weak.
He responds as passionately as he can, but gives up control when he feels an arm around his waist and a hand tugging his hair, pulling him even closer into the kiss until he can feel a firm chest against his own. Jisung gasps at the new found intimacy and Jeno takes the opportunity to slide his tongue into his mouth.
He doesn't know how long they stay like this, kissing each other with so much desperation, as if their lives depend on it. It feels like an eternity, yet when they finally pull away, Jisung thinks it isn't nearly enough to make up for the years he spent pining after the boy in his arms.
Jeno has the nerve to smile, looking almost innocent with the way his eyes turn into little crescents, as if he didn't just kiss the life out of Jisung's lungs.
It's enough to give him the certainty he didn't have when he made the decision to run. With Jeno by his side, he feels like they could conquer the universe.
Maybe being stuck in a shuttle with the boy you like isn't so bad after all.