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Steve took a look around the flat he had called home for the last umpteen months, and he sighed.
Home.
It didn’t feel like home. It wasn’t a place filled with laughter and family and fun. It was simply a residence, a dark and dreary place to rest his head each night, and since the death of his mother, shortly after that of his father, Steve had lived there alone.
Bucky came by regularly, but it wasn’t the same.
He was meant for more, he knew it. But with his health, Steve wasn’t sure he would ever have been given the chance. Not that it would have stopped him. Even if Dr. Erskine hadn’t come to him during the Expo, and offered him what seemed like an opportunity not to miss, he would have never stopped trying. Never stopped aiming high, to do something that mattered; he wanted to do the right thing, no matter what it took.
There was nobody really to say goodbye to, Steve thought, as he packed the last of his few possessions into a small tattered case. The only person would be Bucky, and he had already left.
Steve closed the case as best he could, before standing, dusting down his trousers in a nervous manner he had acquired years ago.
He was joining the SSR. He’d dreamed of joining the army, of becoming a soldier; this way, whilst not exactly what he had envisioned, this gave him entry to his dreams.
The sound of a car horn outside blared, and Steve stood, lifting the case with him, before leaving his old life behind him, forever.
Phil takes one last look around his room as he zips up the suitcase he is due to take with him to the Shield Academy. Sandwiched in between two sweatshirts and a stack of pants and jackets is a framed poster of Captain America.
The rest are still hanging in his room, but he wants to take this one with him. It’s special, the first one he received as a birthday present many years back - the start of his fondness? No, following? He’s not a fanboy, but Captain America continues to be an inspiration for him, even now as he begins the next chapter of his life as a recruit at Operations.
He’s happy, full of excitement and intrigue, but mostly nerves. Training as a super-spy for an organisation like Shield is definitely not how he envisioned his future would be like up until the day Nick Fury showed up in his bedroom following his high school graduation and recruited him. His fellow classmates are now off to college and university, all around the country, and he’s heading to a secret training base for the next few years.
They’re sending someone over to escort him there, Fury had implied that he himself would come to make sure the journey went smoothly. Tomorrow he’ll wake up in a bunk at Operations as a trainee agent, learning how to shoot a gun, dig a ditch; learning how to fight, how to protect himself, how to protect the people of the world.
Steve glanced along the line of soldiers, internal worries threatening to gnaw their way through his calm exterior. He was easily the smallest there, both in height and muscle strength, but he was determined not to let it disadvantage him.
This was his dream, and he was damn well going to fight his hardest to achieve it.
Colonel Phillips patrolled the ground, barking orders at random cadets, and throwing mock grenades at them to test for reactions, and bravery.
Phillips listened to Erskine, and Steve simply watched, as the two debated his future purpose in detail, seemingly bouncing snippy remarks off one another as they walked.
Agent Carter on the other hand, left a fearsome first impression.
No less that two minutes after seeing her for the first time, had she punched a cadet in the face for his inappropriate remarks towards her. Steve had felt a great sense of satisfaction when he saw the blood fall from the soldier’s nose.
She demanded respect without question, and as Steve watched her stalk the line of new cadets, measuring them up with a flick of her gaze, he found himself desperate not to let her down.
He worked harder. Running, stretching, lifting.
Anything he could to improve.
The cadets are strong, fast, and Phil is quickly falling behind them, not just metaphorically but literally too. They run laps as part of their training, and more often than not he trips and falls, watching as the other cadets speed through the track.
They’re going to be assessed at the end of their first month here - by some of the older cadets and junior agents, and assigned into different groups according to their strengths. Phil is quite wary of the other boys lifting heavy weights and doing one armed push-ups in the gym - he’s trying, but it’s hard, harder than he’d ever anticipated. He’s terrible on the shooting range, definitely worse than the others in his year. He’s weak and it’s more apparent now than ever.
He’s excelling the area he expected to - any tasks that require more brains than brawn; Classes that teach them basic computing, because they’re not Communications, and the history and formation of Shield, the SSR, and Phil’s not ashamed to be the kid in class that knows all the answers to the questions about Captain America.
Their exercises are mostly supervised by junior agents and cadets in their final year. There’s a girl, no older than him, everyone calls her May, who is part of that group. She’s tiny, with dark hair and eyes, and doesn’t speak much, only when quietly giving them orders.
She’s beautiful, probably brilliant, and he’s the weakest in his class.
He doesn’t stand a chance here.
The weeks progressed, and Steve found himself improving, slowly. But it wasn’t at the rate he had hoped for.
Colonel Phillips wandered around the training area, issuing orders and testing random soldiers on their strength and agility. He was older, experienced, and well respected amongst the cadets, instructions followed without question nor hesitation.
Agent Carter was different. Fierce, English, and downright beautiful, she demanded the highest of effort from all cadets, and it was her that Steve found himself fighting to prove himself to, day after day.
Whilst he knew she wouldn’t likely look twice at him, Steve was aware the two probably had more in common than she realised. He was fighting to serve, that bullied teenager from Brooklyn desperate to do something worthwhile with his life. She was fighting to be both heard and respected, a woman in an industry dominated by loud, brash soldiers.
When she ordered the cadets to run, he ran, lungs burning and legs screaming. When she demanded push-ups she claimed even her grandmother could do, he forced his shaking arms to hold his body up.
He was behind everyone else at the facility. But he refused to give up.
Phil grunts as his back hits the mats once again, the guy he is sparring with, Garrett, laughs and offers him a hand, pulling him back up onto his feet. Even amongst the weakest cadets of their year, Phil is clearly the runt of the litter.
The only upside to being in this group is their trainer. May, or Melinda, which no one dares to call her, drills them every morning before their classes, and then again in the late afternoon.
Garrett claps him on the back and he realises that the rest of the cadets are leaving to clean up before dinner. He makes his way over to his bag, packing his water bottle back inside and trying to not groan out loud at the burning sensations in his muscles with every movement he makes.
When he’s done, he looks up to find everyone else has left and May is standing there watching him, with her arms crossed over her chest. She tightens her ponytail, still holding his gaze as she steps onto the mats, stretching her arms as she does.
It takes him a little too long to realise that she means to spar with him, and he drops his bag immediately, almost running over, and it would be embarrassing but he’s too excited to care.
He has another set of bruises after being knocked down twenty times more, and misses most of dinner, but for the first time since he’s arrived, he feels a sense of accomplishment.
When Dr. Erskine first presented him with the opportunity to enlist, Steve would have done anything to reach his dreams. But as he stood in front of the machine that would either create him or kill him, he wondered briefly if he had been slightly deluded as to the meaning behind the offer.
This was experimentation, on a scale he had never before encountered. And he was the human guinea pig.
The look on Peggy’s face as she wished him luck, before walking away to the viewing area, was one that surprised even Steve. It was concern, mixed in with her usual determination, and he wondered for just a moment whether this was a good idea.
He also wasn’t too sure of the moment in his subconscious she stopped being solely “Agent Carter” and more so “Peggy”, but it had happened.
But the serum was injected, and as he felt each needle pierce the thin layers of his skin, he closed his eyes, holding her in his mind, hoping she would bring him through this experience.
Inside the case, he could hear only subtle sounds from outside; voices, machinery, and then the all too clear tones of her calling out for them to stop.
But he couldn’t give up. Not now, not with the chance to finally make a difference. If this was his future, he was going to damn well stand here and take the pain.
When the process was complete, and he saw light once more, he knew he felt different. But it was the not-so-subtle touch of Peggy’s fingertips against his chest that made him realise just how much he had changed by.
He was strong. Fit. Healthy.
He felt alive for the first time in his life.
Steve was ready to fight the battle against Hydra - and he was prepared to win.
Phil grins as he helps Melinda -because she had permitted him to call her that- up from her position on the mats. She smiles as she accepts takes his hand, gripping it tightly, before swinging her legs and knocking him down beside her.
They’re both laughing, and out of breath, covered in a layer of sweat from their training.
“I’ll see you in ten,” she tells him as she rises and heads over to grab her bag.
Six months at Operations, and he’s finally making progress. Melinda does laps with him in the morning, before the rest of his class arrive, and then they skip dinner to spar for an extra hour. Her friend, one of the other supervisors, Clint, sneaks them food from the senior agent’s dining hall and they eat in his room.
Clint joins them at the shooting range with a bow and arrow, and his aim is deadly. Melinda empties her gun blindfolded and never goes outside the centre ring. Phil, well, he’s improving.
He manages to stay with the rest of the cadets during their daily runs, and he’s not getting knocked down by his sparring partners each day. He’s even doing better in his theory work and making friends with others.
And Melinda, well he likes to think they’re growing closer. They’re certainly not at the point where he slings an arm over her shoulder and calls her “Mel” like Clint does, but she smiles at him a lot, and he has a crush.
Fighting Hydra was never something Steve envisioned for his future. He saw himself on the battleground, up against soldiers and like-minded men, fighting for their country. He wanted to protect.
But he didn’t see this.
Swinging his shield against a wall once more, he watched as it ricocheted into another enemy target, knocking them clean out.
Another one down.
But each room found more, each turn in a corridor led to yet more targets.
Hydra was seemingly infinite. “Cut off one head, and two more shall take its place”. The motto was apt enough, as crude as it might be.
Red Skull, the previous test subject for the serum, was determined to rule the world, taking down cities at a time in his quest to do so.
Steve ran after him as he attempted to exit the facility they were currently tracking him through, and he found himself in a large aircraft hangar, chasing a plane on foot. No matter how powerful the serum had been, there was no way he could reach it before it took off.
The car pulling up alongside him almost made him smile however, especially seeing who was inside. Colonel Phillips had taken some convincing, but he was finally on board with their plan. But it was Peggy who he was more pleased to see.
As they neared the craft, he knew he would have to find a way to clamber aboard as the two vehicles were moving.
It was risky, but there was no other choice.
He stood to make his move, and found himself being pulled back slightly; before he even knew what was happening he had Peggy’s lips on his own, and for just a moment, the Hydra war was forgotten.
But then it was back to reality, and as she pulled back, watching him almost proudly, he nodded to her, before reaching up, and entering the jet moments before it began to take off.
Shield has enemies, many, many, enemies; just about anyone who causes trouble and believes in twisted ideals that endanger the lives of the people in the world. In the past, Hydra had been a constant thorn in the SSR’s side, but Captain America along with his Howling Commandos and the infamous Agent Peggy Carter, battled them and won.
They don’t know what, who, they’re up against now, but it’s bad.
Phil is only freshly graduated from the Academy, and already he and Clint are flying around the world trying to keep the peace, along with their fellow agents.
Even when the threat is eliminated, Fury, who is now the acting Deputy Director of Shield, announces that they have no idea who they had been fighting against. The enemies simply up and fled when they began losing, and vanished off the radar once more. Good has won, but not really.
But all is well for now, and the first thing on Phil’s mind is Melinda. She’s been on his thoughts since the day they met, but he needs to see her; after what they’ve all been through. He has complete faith that she can handle herself, but her father and his agency crumbled during the enemy attacks, and Phil needs to know that she’s okay.
She’s stone-faced as she addresses some of the newer agents about how to proceed and reassignments, but once the room is empty, she’s wrapped up in his arms, her tears staining the front of his shirt.
War was always going to be a sacrifice, Peggy knew that.
But watching the celebrations on the streets, at the announcement it really was over, left her with a bittersweet cocktail of emotions in her mind.
Soldiers returned home to their loved ones, often bringing with them their new girlfriends or wives, and families became whole once again.
But not everybody was as lucky.
Steve had died a hero, and his actions had potentially saved the lives of millions of civilians. He had done what he’d always wanted to; he’d protected people, he’d done the right thing.
But that thought was only a slight comfort come Saturday night, when she looked to the clock and realised it was 8pm, and she knew completely that her date for the evening would not be taking her dancing after all.
She’d found the right partner, but their dance, would never be complete.
Phil’s mother doesn’t know the truth about his occupation, and is under the impression that he’s now a travelling businessman, with an economics degree. She chastises him for not visiting more often, and he promises that he’ll try, causing a huge smile to break out on her face.
She tries to take his suitcase and he lightly slaps her hands away, which makes her laugh and shake her head, commenting that someone as gentlemanly as he should be a real catch and have tons of girls after him.
He just smiles knowingly, and follows her inside.
His mother bustles around the kitchen making dinner, and he tells her that she should maybe make a little more, and if she’s surprised she doesn’t show it.
He’s up in his old room unpacking his bags when he hears the doorbell ring.
By the time he makes his way down stairs, Melinda’s standing in the doorway with a bag slung over her shoulder and a small smile on her face. His mother is regarding her with curiosity, but clasps her hands together with a squeal when Melinda quietly informs her that Phil invited her over.
They’re not overly affectionate in public, but Phil is more than pleased when Melinda allows him to greet her with a kiss as he takes her bags, and his mother is watching them a giant grin plastered on her face.
In two weeks, he’ll be off to save the world again, with his best girl by his side. And he holds onto her tightly, because not everyone is so lucky.