Work Text:
“Spider-Man’s name is Peter Parker.”
Holy fuck.
Somehow in the time that it took Peter to realise Beck was about to out him - he realised that the world knowing his identity was much worse than being accused of murder. Because people thinking he’s a murder behind the mask? Uncool but he can deal with that. The danger his family would be in if people knew who he was? Unacceptable. Unlucky for him, both of those things happened within a short period. And now he can’t think.
He needs to get out. He needs to get away before the lights start flashing and the screaming renders him unable to move. He tenses his thigh before his gaze drops to the floor, and he hopes he can see her. He could track her for a few blocks if he needed to - but he could really deal with it being easier than that right now.
When his eyes scan the sidewalk, she’s looking right at him. He watches people crowding around her, and he can hear people saying she was with him and the anger seeps through his veins and it settles in him that he will hurt someone for her. Without a second thought.
And though she said she’d never go swinging again and she’s definitely frowning at him - her arms are in the air. So he jumps.
Peter lands on the only spare piece of concrete he can find and sends a web out for MJ. She’s already battling through people to get to him and the second he has her hand in his, he aims for a building.
He can hear people scream that he’s a murderer and he’s kidnapping a poor girl and he’s terrified Michelle might think he killed Beck. She’s never liked superheroes - maybe she never really like Spider-Man.
By the time they’re on a secluded roof he’s had enough time to properly spiral and maybe she thinks she’s wrapped around a dangerous lunatic. So he all but drops her on the roof and gets as far away as he can before he lifts his mask.
“Michelle,” he starts, breath choppy and ready to do whatever it takes for her to trust him.
“I know, dork,” she says, voice calm though he can hear the uptick in her heartbeat. She’s trying to be strong for him - not that there’s ever been a time since he’s known her that she’s not the strongest, smartest person in any room.
He takes a deep breath, thankful for her, but not moving from his place on the roof. This is too soon. She knew he was Spider-Man long before he ever told her, but asking her to get involved with this carnage before they’ve even been on a proper date? He can’t ask that of her.
“We need - I need - I need to get you… I need a plan,” he says, hands running through his hair as he feels himself about to lose control.
He feels her arms go around him as he tries to take steadying breaths, and he finds it easier to think with her this close. With the smell of her in his nose and the weight of her in his arms.
“Calm down, and we can think about it, okay?” she replies, pressing a chaste kiss to his shoulder. “You’re innocent, you have all the tech in the world in your funky glasses and you know the avengers. You’re going to be fine, okay?”
“And what about you?” he asks knowing it’s not really fair to ask her when they’re stranded on the rooftop but hoping she knows him well enough that if she wanted out he’d still lay his life down for her.
“I’m not - I meant it when I said I liked you,” she says, moving out from where she had her head buried in the crook of his neck, but she keeps his hands in hers. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“It might get dangerous and I don’t want you to get caught up in that,” he replies, knowing that he doesn’t want her to leave but he doesn’t want to force her to. There’s something in her that makes him strong, that makes all this worth it. So if she wants to stay - he won’t push her away.
“Danger is practically my middle name,” she drawls, rolling her eyes and God, she’s pretty.
“Okay, okay, let’s go and we can make a plan on the way?” he asks.
“If you think I can swing and comprehend thought, Parker, you’ve got another thing coming.”
"Yeah, sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Hey," she says, and he has no choice but to listen to her. "We can do this, okay? Whatever it is. It's me and you."
It’s the same as yesterday and the day before. And it will be the same tomorrow. The flashing lights from people’s cameras, the loud whispers, the stares from people that didn’t know he existed last week.
Just another day walking through the halls when everyone knows you stopped a bus with your hands last night.
It’s not fun and exciting like he and Ned thought in freshman year. It’s overwhelming and terrifying and he can feel the blood thumping through his ears as he hears someone tell their friend they’re pretty sure Peter killed Mysterio. But that’s over - he was proven innocent. But it doesn’t matter anymore.
The lights flicker, and it feels like someone is drilling into his skull all too soon. He needs to get out. The last thing anyone in his life needs is a Spider-Man breakdown during lunch.
And then he hears it. The flub flub of her heart. The only thing that makes any sense to him at the moment is Michelle. He slows his pace but doesn’t turn around because often he’s overwhelmed with her and it doesn’t make it any easier to calm down. But he hears her fast footsteps and he hears her knock someone’s phone off their hand as she calls them all vultures.
Her hand wraps around his as his eyes close, and she whispers. “Take me to the roof.”
Michelle hates swinging but she doesn’t scream in his ear as much as the first time. They do this often, her jumping into his arms so he doesn’t lose his mind in the hallway. Sometimes they sit on the roof in silence until he can hear himself think and sometimes he lets her thread her fingers through his hair.
Today he needs to physically be by himself, the feeling of someone else’s skin on his making his sense go haywire. But he doesn’t know how to tell her that. The last thing he wants is for her to think he doesn’t want her around - when she’s the only one he’s ever thinking about.
But she knows. She always knows.
“What do -”
“Can we just stay up here? It’s crazy down there,”
So she lets his hand go and she plonks herself on the floor - laying down with fury and grace as she places her head on her backpack. And he makes another mental reminder to thank some higher power for her.
“Wanna hear something crazy?” she asks, whipping a newspaper out from goodness knows where.
He hums at her as he mirrors her position, eyes closed against the sunlight and already finding it easier to breathe.
“There are some conspiracy theories around your powers…”
“Are you giving out details?” he jokes. He trusts MJ with his life - and he’s told her countless times that he never wanted to lie to her. But he can’t be sure if that means the trust goes both ways. Though she lets him swing her to the top of buildings so he assumes there is something there. He’s a little scared to ask.
“Mmm, not for less than I’m worth - but I’ll keep an eye out on the figures.”
“Uh-huh, what are the theories?” he replies, smiling wide when he turns to look at her. He’s kinda over not touching her now and he’d rather like to hold her hand or rest his head against hers. But then she continues.
“Some suggest that Parker’s powers include the male spider's ability to hypnotise females.”
“Stop, come on,” he playfully groans, never taking his eyes off her.
“Yes, my spider lord,” she says seriously. Though there’s a smile tugging at every muscle in her face when she turns her head to see him.
He misses her. She’s only about thirty centimetres away and he’s over her not being closer. So he shoots a web at her hip and listens to her scream as he flips her over to him. She might be mad about it, but he’s got about three seconds to press kisses to her face before she tells him that.
“You’re the worst,” she groans, lifting her head up to give him a steely stare. It made him nervous in Venice, and he could barely maintain eye contact in freshman year. But now he tucks the fallen hair behind her ear, and brushes his lips to her pout and lets the beating of her heart soothe him.
“Sorry, Em, I just missed you,” he whispers, not needing to raise his voice because they’re so close. This part they’ve gotten used to. It still makes his chest feel full and she never fails to make him blush - but with the hiding from the public and the secret nighttime meet-ups - this was their reward.
“I’m right here, dork,” she replies, relaxing her muscles until he’s taking all her weight. He knows there will be a time when they have to go back down. Or he’ll hear sirens five blocks away and he’ll need to leave. But for right now, he has her. And that’s all he needs.
Always her.
This was never supposed to happen. They were meant to go to Europe and he was going to tell her he liked her on top of the Eiffel Tower and she was going to call him a dork and maybe kiss him anyway. She was never supposed to be caught up in this mess. She was always meant to be safe.
But now she’s in his arms as he swings for any empty rooftop he can find because she’s hurt and he needs to figure out what to do about it. Her heart is slowing down too much for how it usually beats when he swings with her.
“You’re okay,” he mumbles against the wind. “You’re going to be okay, Em. Please.”
He runs to a stop on a roof of an office block, gently laying her on the gravel, and trying to remain calm when her limbs act like jello.
“Hey, hey, look at me,” he stutters when her eyes slip shut.
“Em, come on, please, please .”
“I’m okay,” she whispers and the noise that comes from his throat is animalistic.
“Are you sure? Maybe we should go to the hospital anyway,” he mutters, pressing his fingertips to her ribs as Karen scans her body. It comes back fine but still. She’ll probably be bruised tomorrow and this isn’t even the first time she’s been targeted and his heart drops at the way it won’t be the last.
He needs to fix it, he just doesn’t know how.
“No hospital, dork. I just,” she says, holding her hand out to him and she pulls him down to her with little strength. “Just lay here with me while I get over nausea.”
“Okay,” he replies, pressing a kiss to her cheek. He wants to tell her he loves her but it doesn’t seem like the right time. So she lays against the ground and pulls her to his chest instead. He threads his fingers through her hair as her heart returns to its normal pattern and as she falls asleep against him, he vows to figure out a way to keep her safe.
“What are you talking about?” she asks, chest heaving from where he swung them to the roof of the sanctum. He should have known she would have followed him there if she thought he was in danger - or about to do something stupid.
Though in his limited defence, he didn’t mean for it to work out like this. Now that the multiverse has split and there are hordes of enemies from other worlds are on their way to him. Not ideal.
The thought of MJ forgetting him? He can barely think about it. He somehow managed to split an entire universe apart at the thought of it. And now he has to explain to her that she might lose her memories of him. But he can’t be sure, because he didn’t stick around long enough to figure it out.
“Peter, what’s going on?” she asks, reaching for his hand. And God, he loves her. He should have told her before. He shouldn’t have waited to try and make it an event, or plan something she’d remember - because obviously, she wouldn’t forget the first time he told her he loved her.
She might now though, and by the way his chest is caving in, he might not make it off the roof. He’ll tell her now, knowing the heartache he’ll feel when he replays the moment she says it back over and over again when he wants to be near her, but he can’t, will be worth it. She’s always worth it.
And she deserves to know that he’s been in love with her since before their first date. That the memory of falling asleep on the way back from Europe and waking up mid nightmare to her reciting decathlon facts and running her fingers through his hard to calm him down is what he uses when he needs to fall asleep.
“I love you,” he breathes, never having felt so sure of something in his life.
“What?” she asks, eyes wide but stepping closer to him.
“I love you, and I promise I never meant for this to happen. To drag you into this whole mess - I -”
“Peter, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be, okay? It’s me and you. You just happen to come with spandex and a handful of enemies that seem to be really mad all the time. But I’m here, okay? I don’t want to go anywhere without you.”
And he knows she means it. He knows she’ll be there to protect him every step of the way, and he’s selfish enough to need her. But he’s never been lucky in life, certainly not enough to land the jackpot and manage to keep her. God, he wants to keep her. Because who is Peter Parker without Michelle Jones anyway?
“I love you,” he repeats, knowing that if the way he loved her meant she’d remember everything they were - the spell would mean nothing. But as he watches her brows furrow as she opens her mouth, then glancing around at the mayhem, he realises it’s too late. She’s losing her memories of him and somewhere else Ned and May are losing theirs as well.
She drops his hand with a pout and a raised eyebrow, eyes flicking between his face and his feet and he wonders if she knows who Spider-Man is at all now or whether the uptick in her heartbeat is nerves from being stranded on a rooftop with a weirdo in a spandex suit.
He’s done it now. He’s lost her.
“Hello, Peter Parker,” he hears someone snarl. He’s not sure why the guy on mechanical octopus legs wants to so clearly kill him, but he needs to get away so he doesn’t hurt MJ. So he turns to look at her one last time, and she’s as stoic as ever - he can only tell she’s scared because he has the patterns of her heartbeat memorised.
"Are you... okay?" she asks as if she can do anything against the ridiculous man with eight arms.
"Yeah, for sure," he replies, a weak thumbs up that she mirrors with obvious confusion. He shoves his mask over his face ready to go to battle for a world that continues to fuck him over.
"Well... go get 'em? Tiger?" she says, with a shake of her head as she shoves her hands into her pockets, and he loves her.
“Bye, MJ.”
Saving the multiverse is all well and good, but it means jack shit if he can’t go home to anyone. He misses May and he wants to see Ned and he desperately wants to hug MJ.
But he can’t and he knows that’s like set in stone or whatever but truly, you’d think these powerful spells would be able to deal with a teenagers hand waving through some lights. And sure, Peter went to ask Strange to make everyone forget but in his defence, MJ was being targeted and it made trying to help everyone so much harder when everyone knew who he was.
Strange didn’t have to say yes - clearly bored that day. But you’d think maybe before he started waving his arms in the air creating colours and patterns, he could have explained the whole thing a little bit.
Because if he knew MJ was going to forget everything they were and everything they’d been through - he never would have done it. He would have dealt with the jeers and the difficult patrols to keep her in his life. He would have done anything.
He’s not sure what to do now the portals are closed. He said bye to the other versions of him and he couldn’t even be smug that their suits weren’t as cool as his - because they were going back to their MJ. And he lost his.
His eyes burn as he walks into see Strange, but he swallows it down. Kinda. Peter is half expecting to be chewed out for things he did wrong in the fights. He definitely could have taken down the goblin quicker if his entire mind wasn’t focused on Michelle and if she’s okay, or confused, or maybe she might miss him.
He spent most of the time he was arguing with Doctor Octopus thinking about whether or not MJ was going to tell him she loved him back. He almost asked the doctor about it - but then one of his arms encased Peter’s entire upper body so he tried to focus on his bones not shattering instead. Thought naturally, MJ slipped into his mind anyway.
But Strange doesn’t say he messed up, instead, he tells him there’s a sort of fix. And then he explains the workings of the multiverse which Peter totally would understand if he weren’t bone-tired and wanting to get to the part where everything is fine again. But Strange sure can talk and he’s borderline rude at times - like he has bigger more important things to sort out other than Peter’s life. But Peter is desperate to know if he has a home - if he has someone to go to.
And as Strange explains that everyone who knows him had their memories of him erased to pre Europe - his heart dances. Because that means he can go home to May and she didn’t miss much at all. Ned will still be his best friend. And MJ - MJ won’t really know him at all.
Oh. Oh.
He tries to remember what they were before they went to Europe - all he can remember about her is the way her smile made his morning even if it wasn’t meant for him or the way he’d catch her maybe looking at him in science class. And how he hadn’t told her he was Spider-Man but wanted to. But she won’t remember that.
She won’t remember the way she kissed him on the bridge. And she won’t remember the way he brushed his hand against hers in the airport. She won’t remember the times she patched him up using the lamp in her bedroom, because everyone knew he was Spider-Man but her parents wouldn’t let him in her bedroom after dark. And she won’t remember every single time she saved him on the roof.
But he will, and maybe that’s enough.
So he swings to her place, and when he sees her sitting on the roof sketching his heart thumps in its cage because he’s had a rough couple of days and he craves her touch. But MJ before Europe would punch him in the face if he touched her.
So he skids to a stop on the roof instead of throwing himself on her and she barely flinches when she looks up at him.
“Spidey,” she says, moving her pack of pencils from beside her so there’s space to sit with his back to the air conditioning unit.
“Hey,” he breathes, sitting next to her. Not too close, but close enough that he gets comfort from the heat radiating from her body. God, he misses her.
“How was saving the multiverse?” she asks. He knew it would probably make the news but he’s used to her knowing about this kinda stuff because he told her about it.
“Yeah, fine,” he says, gathering the courage to look at her when he’s not sure he’s going to be able to look away. But when he does, she’s already looking at him.
“Cool,” she says with a small smile, and she shuffles ever closer to him, their shoulders touching. He knows she probably knows who he is already because her heart is only going a little faster than usual - not the same kind of speeds where she’s angry or scared. It’s the same pattern he got used to whenever he tucked her hair behind her ear, or when he leaned in to kiss her.
And he figures he’s got one shot at this - and he doesn’t want anything to mess it up. He trusts her with his life - even this MJ, his MJ, who doesn’t remember much about him at all.
“MJ?” he asks, and he hears the sharp intake of breath and her pencil stops moving on the page for a second.
“Yeah?”
“It’s Peter. Parker.”
Her heart picks up and he feels his palms sweating under his suit and maybe he should have waited a little longer to tell her. But then she leans her head on his shoulder and he lets a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Peter pours the sparkling grape juice into paper cups, and MJ places the sandwiches she made on the blanket she set up on the roof. It’s their favourite roof if he had to pick. For all the times they’ve had to run and hide from people, this one remained the place where he bought MJ because he wanted to. Because there’s a good view of the park from here and she can sketch people in crisis when they try and jaywalk. It’s where they can see the stars.
It’s the rooftop where she kissed him for the first time. It’s the rooftop where he told her how she can’t remember their relationship before he had to save the multiverse and it’s all his fault. It’s the rooftop she forgave him on, telling him that just because it isn’t the first time they’ve done something for him, doesn’t mean it’s not special all the same.
It’s the rooftop he’s going to tell her he loves her on.
He said to himself before that when he was ready to tell her - though this time he was waiting until it felt like he wasn’t pressuring her - he wouldn’t wait. He’d just tell her. But now they’re on the roof waiting for the sun to go down and he’s replaying all the reasons he doesn’t deserve her or all the ways he’s going to let her down. He knows he loves her. But trying to explain to her how he’d like her heart seems like a battle he’s destined to lose no matter how clearly she shows him that’s not the case.
“Erm, so,” he starts. And despite having a second go at this, he’s already messing it up. “I’m Spider-Man… and Peter - your boyfriend. Obviously. You know that.”
“Yeah, loser, I know you’re my boyfriend,” she says, though her heartbeat picks up and it settles him.
“I just - there are things I can do. Or Spider-Man can do,” he stutters and he should have written this down.
“You’re the same person.”
“Emmm,” he whines.
“Though I prefer Peter Parker,” she says, taking a sip of her juice.
“Yeah?”
“Peter Parker is a science geek,” she says, face serious as he pouts. “He’s a laughing joking adventurer. He’s the pretty boy next door.” She moves closer to him and he watches as her eyes slip to his lips and back again.
“He’s a hero who saved the city,” she says with a shrug. “He’s my favourite guy.”
“Favourite, huh?” he asks, feeling his cheeks heat up under her gaze. He mirrors her position, leaning in until their noses brush.
“Yeah, you’re my spider lord," she says with a laugh as he groans against her lips.
"And I love you,” she says, pressing her lips to his. His hands fly to the back of her neck, making sure she doesn’t move too far away from him. He’s known he was in love with her way longer than she knew with him - but to hear it for the first time makes him feel invincible.
“Say it again,” he says against her lips.
“I love you.”
He kisses her hard, breathing her in.
“Once more.” She laughs at him and it’s his favourite fucking sound in the world and he’s so in love with her.
“I’ll say it as many times as you want,” she says, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “As long as you promise to say it back.”
“I love you,” he rushes out. “I love you, you have no idea.”
He thought that there was no way home when the universe split for no reason other than to cause him annoyance and heartache. But he’s learnt that home isn’t a place - it’s a person or a feeling.
And for Peter, it’s Michelle Jones.