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This was certainly not what Charming was expecting to see. He had come to Rumplestiltskin, as he so often did, looking for some sort of potion to free a woman from a witch. Usually when he stormed his castle, as he so often did, he found the main hall empty, Rumplestiltskin generally popping up somewhere behind him in an attempt to frighten him out of his wits.
But today he stormed in, the doors flying open, to reveal not only the sorcerer in question, but a young woman. She was dressed in fairly plain clothes, a maid’s outfit if he wasn’t mistaken, and Rumplestiltskin was chasing her around the table. With a pillow.
The woman seemed equally armed as she raced after the sorcerer who suddenly disappeared and appeared behind her to wallop her over the head. Which hardly seemed fair.
“Cheater!” the woman shouted and turned on him, shoving her pillow into his face before the sorcerer could back up a pace. “I told you no magic.”
“I didn’t agree to that, dearie.” Rumplestiltskin’s voice had absolutely no bite to it, none at all, even though the tiny woman continued to hit him with the pillow she held.
“Well, it’s not fair,” she pouted.
“Oh,” Rumplestiltskin said and lowered his pillow. Charming had about two seconds to see what was coming. Which was about two seconds more than Rumplestiltskin appeared to have as the woman suddenly hit him hard across the side of the head and took off running away.
“You!” Rumplestiltskin shouted as he chased after her.
“You might have magic, but I have something better,” the woman shouted back.
“Really now?” the sorcerer said, transporting himself to right in front of her and cutting off her escape path. “And what might that be?”
Her eyes got really large and Charming could see her lower lip stick out and damned if the sorcerer didn’t lower his pillow again. “This!” the woman said and smacked him in the face with the pillow before running off laughing.
“Dammit man, even I saw that coming!” Charming couldn’t help but shout.
Rumplestiltskin stopped and turned to him. The woman did too, but her reaction to his presence derailed her for a shorter period of time than it did the sorcerer. She smacked the man in the head once more and Charming just rolled his eyes.
“Can’t you see I’m busy?” Rumplestiltskin snapped at him and was rewarded by a pillow smacking him in the butt for his inattention.
"You!" he shouted and turned away from Charming. In seconds he was in front of the woman and she tried to hit him again. When he sidestepped her, she went off balance, flying forward. As Charming gasped, waiting for her to end up sprawled out on the floor, Rumplestiltskin moved, blocked her with his body.
And they both tumbled to the floor.
The maid on top of the sorcerer.
He held his breath.
"Oh," said the maid.
"Oh," said the sorcerer.
And he was pretty sure the way they were looking at each other meant he did not want to stick around.
"I…uh…I'll just come back later then."
Neither of the two acknowledged him as he slipped back out the front door of the castle.