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JJ’s day had been complete shit.
First off, he had to go to school again. You return from a deserted island and immediately have to learn shit again? Load of horse shit if you asked JJ.
Kie and John B kept him away from the alcohol and the weed. JJ’s time on the island was the longest he'd been sober in a long time. He'd needed to cut back, become less dependent on the stuff especially given his father’s alcoholism.
His friends were just looking out for him, but his patience was running thin. Adjusting back to normal life was hard. So much had changed for him on that island.
Magic fucking island.
He needed something to cope. None of his coping mechanisms were healthy, they all verged on self destruction on a good day.
And his self-destructive habits didn’t stop at (attempts at) drinking all day. They stopped just short of murder.
He has always been an all or nothing kind of guy.
He lashed out at all his friends, getting angry with them when they tried to support him. It had been coming all day, but he finally cracked when they sat down to watch a movie.
They usually spent their time outside, out on the boat. Hardly spent time watching movies, but after their time on the island the indoors were nice.
Plus, it was storming out.
Sarah and John B were curled up together on the love seat. Kie was on the opposite end of the couch and god…JJ was so fucking aware that Pope wasn't here tonight.
JJ got up off the couch, needing a distraction. He walked over to the liquor cabinet to find it locked. He tugged on the lock pointlessly, hitting the cabinet door hard.
“What the fuck,” he cursed.
“J? You okay?” John B asked, coming into the kitchen.
“Why the fuck is it locked,” JJ asked.
“Because I know you,” he said calmly.
“You know me?” JJ asked bitterly. His fists were clenched, body tense.
He had an anger like a wildfire inside of him. He knew exactly where it came from too and he hated it.
John B sighed. “Listen, we know you need to get sober. I know it would be harder once we got back so I took preventative measures.”
“Who are you to tell me what to do? You’re not my dad!” JJ said, voice raised. He hit the counter hard and relished in the pain that flared in his hand.
“I’m just trying to help,” John B protested.
“Well stop trying, it’s my goddamn life,” he shouted, shoving past him.
John B went to grab his arm and JJ’s instincts took over. He punched John B right in the face and he couldn't even tell you why. John B wasn’t a threat, he wasn’t going to hurt him, but out of pure survival instincts he punched him right in the nose.
He stormed out, leaving John B reeling in shock. He heard Kie and Sarah calling out to him, fussing over John B’s injury. God, he hated himself more than words could describe.
He could go to his dad’s house. It's not like his dad was there anymore, but stepping inside that house it feels like he's drowning. Like he's sinking to the bottom of the ocean with an anchor strapped to his chest.
And he had almost drowned before. He knew what it felt like.
He could go to Kie’s, but the chances that her parents let him stay were slim. Especially when she wasn’t even there. He could go back to the chateau and ignore John B and the others.
He could.
He didn't want to be there right now. He couldn’t stand the thought of being there.
He wanted his best friend right now. He wanted Pope right now.
He hadn't spoken to him since they got home safely. He couldn't stop seeing Pope laying next to him in the sand, both of them watching each other.
Their hands meeting in the middle. They hold on and don't let go.
Kisses stolen under palm trees, under the blistering sun. Confessions shared late at night when the others are fast asleep. Sneaking off to go get supplies and making out in the secluded woods.
He didn't know what to do with all the feelings he was feeling inside of him. It was overwhelming.
They needed to be let out. Like they had been on the island. Where no one seemed to mind that the two friends were suddenly much much closer.
That they seemed to cling to each other.
It had just made sense.
JJ and Pope just made sense together.
He ignored the thunder overhead as he walked towards Pope’s house. He was so lost in his mind, he wasn't thinking straight. He left his bike at the chateau and he wasn't going back there. He didn't want to face John B when he was like this.
He just wanted to see Pope. That's all he needed.
He was soaked from head to toe, his hair sticking to his forehead, but he ignored it. He ignored the way he shivered, the way goosebumps rose on his arms. He ignored the dull pain in his hand from where he hit the counter, his split knuckles from punching John B.
He was so close to Pope’s now.
He'll be sick in the morning for sure, but it didn't matter. He could see Heyward’s in the distance.
JJ was walking up to the shop as Pope was coming out, putting something in the back of his dad’s truck. He grimaced in the rain.
JJ picked up his pace. “Pope!” he called out, jogging as lightning flashed overhead.
Pope spun around, staring at his best friend as the rain fell around them. Time seemed to still for a moment as they looked at each other. It was like they were meeting eyes across the fire all over again.
Time stilling. The daunting realization of ‘you, it’s always been you’. The undeniable love he felt for the other boy suffocated him in the best way possible.
JJ’s heart skipped a beat. He stopped a few feet away.
“JJ? What the fuck,” Pope whispered. “You're--It's storming--”
JJ nodded. “I need… I didn't know where else to go.”
I need you.
He needed him.
It was a confession whispered once in the middle of the night, on the magic island that brought them together. Now, here, on Kildare Island, he couldn’t bring himself to say it for some reason.
“What happened?” Pope asked, still standing in the rain.
There he was, standing in the pouring rain for him. Thunder rumbled overhead. They should go inside.
Neither of them moved.
“I'm having a bad day,” JJ said, voice cracking. “You said I could always come here if I needed somewhere to go. So, I'm here.”
“You're having a bad day,” Pope repeated.
JJ nodded. A bad day because you weren’t there, he thought.
Pope had never heard such honesty from JJ. “What happened?”
JJ shook his head. “I fought with John B. I’m just...I just know I need you right now.”
“JJ--”
“I don't know why I walked here, you know? My dad's house is closer,” JJ laughed bitterly. “Kie was at the Chateau. I could have gotten a ride.”
Pope just stared at him. Lightning lit up the sky. He could see that JJ was crying now.
“I just...we all act like everything is fine now that we're home. I don’t...My...I'm not fine, Pope. I'm not fine and I need my best friend and you've been so distant,” JJ said, stepping closer.
“What happened on the island, we can pretend it never happened, but goddamnit don't push me away!” JJ raised his voice over the rain. “Please. I can't do this without you. I don’t care if whatever happened on the island was a fluke...I don’t fucking care. God, don’t hate me. Please don’t hate me.”
Pope said nothing for a moment, just stared at him.
“Please say something, I—”
Pope stepped forward, closing the distance between them. He grabbed JJ’s face in his hands and kissed him like his life depended on it.
“I don't want to pretend it never happened,” Pope said, pulling away. He still held onto JJ, he didn't let go. “I'm terrified.”
“Me too,” JJ whispered. “But we can do this together. We’ll figure it out.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Pope agreed.
He leaned forward again to kiss him. JJ met him in the middle, wrapping his arms around the other boy.
They kissed and kissed and kissed.
Rain poured down around them, but neither of them seemed to care. Not as they laughed and held each other close.
The world could be falling apart around them, but they had each other.
"We should go inside," Pope said. "You're freezing."
JJ shook his head. "I don't care. I don't want this moment to end."
Pope smiled, leaning his forehead against his. JJ wanted to cry more than he already had been. This time because he was so overwhelmed with love that he didn't know what to do with himself.
"Me neither," Pope said.
The sky broke open with a cry of thunder. Pope kissed the tip of his nose.
"Let's go dry off," he said. He grabbed JJ's hand in his and guided him back inside.
JJ didn't protest this time. Instead he let the boy he loved guide him out of the storm.