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“Hey, Diana!” Akko banged her fist on the door. “What’s taking you so long? If you keep this up we might not be a whole three hours early like you were plan—” the door opened, “—ning.”
Akko’s jaw hit the floor as Diana strode out of her childhood bedroom wearing what could only be described as the most finely tailored suit in the history of humankind.
Wheels spun in Akko’s brain, desperately trying to get her to catch up, process, say something about the fact her girlfriend had just rendered the entire industry of fashion permanently obsolete with a single outfit.
“I’m gay.” Akko said, too dumbstruck to even smack her own face at the brain slip.
“I believe that’s already been well established, darling,” Diana said, kissing Akko’s cheek with far too much relish, “but I do appreciate the reminder.”
“OK OK no this isn’t fair.” Akko’s hands started flapping as her blush overtook her. “I don’t have time to get changed and even if I did this outfit’s about as fancy as I’ve got and it’s nothing on—wait, how did you bring that in your luggage without me noticing!?”
“We packed together, darling, you just weren’t paying any attention,” Diana said without malice.
“That… sounds about right, yeah,” Akko admitted, scratching the back of her neck and trying to look anywhere other than Dia—wait why was she doing that? She had uninterrupted time to stare at Diana looking ridiculously hot in her suit, what kind of idiot wouldn’t take advantage of that.
“I even asked you if your parents would take issue with me wearing masculine clothing on occasion,” Diana pointed out with a knowing smile. Or was it nervous? Oh crap it was nervous. Good girlfriend mode, activate!
“Hey, they don’t give a crap about any of that kinda thing.” Akko set a reassuring hand on Diana’s shoulder, trying very hard to focus on being supportive and not on… everything else that action did to her. “I mean, you might be a little overdressed compared to us, but that was always gonna happen.”
Diana nodded, a little mollified. “I’m just,” she sighed, “desperate to create a strong impression. I love you so much, and I know they mean the world to you. I would hate to be a source of tension if they disliked me.”
“OK, one, you already chatted just fine with them when we arrived.” Akko wiggled her way into Diana’s space, gazing up at her reassuringly. “And two, their actual first impression of you was seeing you saving the world with me in space.” Akko flicked Diana’s nose, eliciting a small giggle. “Pretty sure it can’t get much better than that.”
“Preposterous. I could have been the one to save you from an untimely fall instead.” Diana’s eyes were smiling. Akko’s heart was too.
“Hey, I did tell them all about that time you caught me at the broom race!” Akko grinned, draping her arms over Diana’s neck. “Admittedly, I spent most of that letter calling you annoying and stuck up and infuriatingly gorgeous and—” Akko stopped herself. “Aaanyway, let’s just say they heard enough about you to uh, kinda not be surprised things turned out how they did.” Akko coughed once. “I think they figured it out before I did.”
Diana smiled, wrapping her arms around Akko’s back and pulling her closer and damn, if Akko wasn’t careful she could find herself melting right into Diana’s touch and just never leaving. “At least they didn’t see me making out with their daughter on the Shooting Star,” Diana whispered into Akko’s ear, squeezing a little tighter.
Akko shut her eyes and shuddered, before looking up at Diana accusingly. “That was unfair.”
Diana cocked an eyebrow, a tiny smirk emerging.
Alright then.
Akko grabbed the lapel of Diana’s suit, pulling her in for a brief but blazing kiss. “This,” she yanked on the suit once for emphasis, “stays on later.”
Diana’s eyes widened, a flush spreading on her face as Akko pulled away victoriously.
“Alright, Mom, Dad, we’re ready!” Akko called down the stairs, dragging Diana behind her with a wink.
Diana, naturally, was somewhat overdressed. Not that the Kagaris looked in any way slovenly, perish the thought, but Diana couldn’t help but feel she was overdoing it a tad. They’d giggled when she bowed upon meeting them. They’d given her strange looks when she’d pulled out Akko’s chair for her. They’d been impressed with her command of Japanese, particularly given her mere two years of study, but Mr Kagari had informed her, red eyes twinkling all the while, that he was, “neither her employer nor the Emperor, and Yoh-san, or just Yoh, would be perfectly fine, thank you.”
Still, a few slip ups were to be expected. Diana could weather those. She definitely wasn’t worried at all. Akko’s parents clearly didn’t hate her and weren’t going to quietly disapprove of her and be an enormous source of tension for the rest of their lives together which was going to be the rest of their lives because Diana was going to marry this incredible girl one day and yes she knew Akko hated almost all traditions but she did want to ask her parents for her hand before proposing just for the romance of it and—
“Would you like any desserts?” The waiter asked.
Akko perked up.
Diana smiled as the Kagaris placed their orders, before the waiter turned to her. “I’ll just have some green tea, thank you. And the bill.”
The room froze.
“What the young lady meant to say,” Yoh-sama said slowly, in the most formal Japanese Diana had ever heard, “was that we would like the bill for the table now, thank you most kindly.” He tapped the space in front of himself, just to be clear.
Diana’s response was immediate. “I couldn’t possibly ask you to pay for our meal in addition to your already generous hospitality.”
“Then it is good that you do not need to ask for what is already freely given.” Megumi-sama joined her husband in staring Diana down.
“You must at least permit me to pay for our half of the bill.” Diana set her hand on Akko’s, who looked up in confusion, clearly distracted by the impending cheesecake. “I would never have ordered those glasses of umeshu for the two of us if I’d known you intended to pay for it.”
The Kagaris held Diana’s gaze for a long moment. “Very well. You may pay half. No more.”
Diana nodded, unsatisfied with the arrangement but pleased she’d been able to salvage the situation somewhat. She would just have to make it up in some other way.
A few minutes later, the waiter brought the bill, holding out a card machine to the table.
Diana pulled out her debit card. “So I believe the amount I should pay is—”
Yoh Kagari, eyes twinkling all the while, put his credit card into the machine and paid the entire bill.
Diana gasped.
Akko burst out laughing.
Diana’s eyes flicked back and forth between the impish smiles of three separate Kagaris.
Well. At least she knew where Akko got it from.
“Knew he was gonna do that.” Akko giggled as they walked to the Kagaris’ car.
“Then why did you not tell me!?” Diana demanded.
“Why did you try to pay?” Akko needled her in the side. “You’re our guest. No being rude.”
Diana narrowed her eyes. “I’ve a firm mind to—” Diana suddenly remembered that Akko’s parents were a few scant yards away. “…Deny you your earlier request with regards to my outfit for the evening’s entertainment.”
“Oh, so you’ll be wearing nothing instead?” Akko said out of the corner of her mouth, waggling her eyebrows.
Diana hissed air through her nose. “Well. It’s good to know that insufferability is apparently a genetic trait.”
“See? Told you you’d get on just fine with all of us.” Akko grinned, opening the door to the car and gesturing Diana in.
Oh heavens, had Diana’s politeness slipped again?
Akko giggled at her. Again.
That was it.
The ignominy she had suffered would be avenged.
“So, how did you enjoy the meal?”
“Oh it was wonderful,” Diana said, clasping her hands together. “The steak was simply divine, you must allow me to give my compliments to the chef.”
“I am sure she will be delighted to hear that, ma’am.” The waiter smiled. “I will pass your kind words on to her.”
“Oh no, I insist on telling her myself!” Diana rose from her seat with a flourish. She was overacting, she knew it. Akko had definitely figured out she was up to something, but by the time she and the Kagaris realised that her path to the kitchens was taking just a slight detour, it was too late.
Diana stood at the front desk, her card in hand.
“Yes, table twenty-one. Has the price of the desserts and drinks been added? Excellent, thank you.” She smiled victoriously. “Have a wonderful evening.”
Diana walked gently down the stairs, her slippers soft on the carpet. The door to the kitchen was already open, the sounds of Megumi Kagari’s melodious humming pouring out into the hallway, so Diana strode in and set about boiling some water.
Megumi nearly jumped. “Oh, Diana. I didn’t hear you there.”
“Ah, my apologies, I should have announced myself,” Diana said, opening the container and heaping a few teaspoons of plum leaves into the kyusu.
Megumi clucked her tongue. “Making her tea in bed? You’ll spoil her rotten at this rate.”
Diana flushed. “I was awake anyway. I believed it would be better to make myself useful rather than spending the whole morning waiting for her to wake up and staring at—” That’s her mother you idiot. “—The ceiling.” Diana lied adroitly.
Megumi chuckled. “Oh don’t mind me. We appreciate you looking after her so well.”
“How could I not?” Diana replied automatically, fondness bubbling up in her chest as the water began to boil.
Megumi was silent for a long while. Diana wasn’t the best at reading faces, but she could remember what a mother’s worry looked like. And what it looked like when that concern was relieved. She perked up, in a way that was so Akko-like that Diana nearly did a double take. “Oh, speaking of looking after those who apparently can’t look after themselves,” Megumi started, opening a drawer and fishing around.
She set two 10,000 yen notes down on the counter next to Diana.
“Absolutely not,” Diana refused immediately. “For one, that’s significantly more than I paid.”
“We thought you might have tried to leave a tip.”
“Akko told me that it’s considered rude to do so in Japan.”
“It’s also rude to pay for your hosts, Diana.” Megumi glared fondly at her. Wait, was that fondly?
“I had no intention of insulting you or your husband, I simply wished to pay you back for the wonderful hospitality you have shown me, and express, in some way, my appreciation for people so dear and caring to the woman I love so much.” Diana’s years of elocution practice were finally being put to good use.
“Then you can do so by accepting our repayment,” Megumi ignored her attempts to flatter her daughter, firmly pushing the money towards her.
Diana sighed. “Very well.”
Megumi smiled, patting Diana on the shoulder and setting the money on the tea tray. “Thank you, Diana.”
Diana carried the tea back into the hallway, steps still gentle.
She glanced back over her shoulder.
She shoved the twenty thousand yen into a potted plant.
“Akko. Darling.”
“Yes, Diana?”
“Why did I find twenty thousand yen in my luggage?”
“Ah crap, you found the second note?”
“With some difficulty, I admit.”
“You know we’re just gonna give it to you again some other way.”
“Yes, and then I’ll do precisely what I’m doing this time, and set it back on the dining table where it belongs.”
“We could always just bank transfer you.”
“That would ruin the game.”
“…Damn you know us too well.”
Diana walked through the airport, hand in hand with her wonderful girlfriend. Her wonderful, sweet, caring, bubbly, perfect girlfriend who was going to be spending the rest of the summer in Japan with her parents.
Not even Diana’s final victory in the Twenty Thousand Yen War (she’d hidden it in the car on the drive to the airport) could assuage the melancholy in her chest.
“Hey,” Akko started, rubbing her hand on Diana’s knuckles as they made it to the departure gates, security beckoning ahead of them, “I really appreciate you coming and spending the time out here with me.”
“Of course, darling, it was a wonderful experience!” Diana stopped walking, wrapping Akko in a quick hug. “I enjoyed every moment, truly.”
“I know, I know, but I also know that it was really scary for you to meet my parents for the first time.” Akko said, hugging Diana back and gazing up at her with wondrous eyes. “And you had to rush some of your summer research project to come here. And I just wanted to say how much all that means to me, OK?”
Diana found her lips drifting to Akko’s as if compelled. How was it that she could say so few words and yet mean so much? How was Akko’s heart so beautiful that she made Diana temporarily ignore her reservations towards public displays of affection, even in the middle of a crowded airport.
Diana sighed contentedly into Akko’s lips.
Akko squeezed her bum.
Diana pulled away, scandalised. “Atsuko Kagari! The indecency!” she gasped.
Akko grinned impishly. “Sorry, couldn’t resist. I’m not gonna be seeing you for like, over a month!”
Diana shook her head, blushing furiously. “I cannot believe you.”
It was a testament to just how whipped Diana was for this girl, that when Akko went for one last quick peck on the lips, Diana accepted without hesitation.
“I’ll be back with you before you know it, OK?” Akko promised, nuzzling her forehead against Diana’s.
“And I’ll be waiting for you every day.” Diana whispered back, raising Akko’s knuckles to her lips for a soft kiss.
Akko flushed, screwing her eyes shut and making an almost squee-like sound. “I’ll miss you too, Diana.”
They stayed like that for a long moment.
And then, inevitably, Diana had to leave.
“Alright ma’am, please empty out your pockets into the tray.”
Diana nodded, setting her wallet, wand, phone (awful contraption), checking her back pocket for the keys to the manor and—
Two crumpled up ten thousand yen notes. Stuffed into the back of her trousers.
“Atsuko Kagari, you’re a dead woman walking!”