Archive of Our Own

Audrey was so absorbed in James’ story that she didn’t even notice Richard’s car driving past and into the estate. This would have been highly unusual a couple of months ago when she tracked his every move but since she and James had become reacquainted and were spending more time together, Richard DeVere occupied fewer and fewer thoughts in her mind. That wasn't to say that she did not think about him, in fact she found herself strangely defensive of Richard when James critisized or made a derogatory remark about him. It was the only tension point in her relationship with James and Audrey was not quite sure how to navigate it yet. They had originally met many years ago when both competing at Badminton. Audrey was already engaged to Marton but found James incredibly attractive and charming, as did many of the other young ladies. However, James liked a challenge and set his eyes on the unattainable Audrey and after a week of chasing and flirting little more progressed than a breathless kiss. They had crossed paths at various events over the years and most recently at a Hunt Ball hosted by Brigadier Lemington. James was delighted to learn that Audrey had been widowed and having never married in favour of playing the field, he pursued Audrey with vigor. She had initially resisted his charming advances, being preoccupied with Richard DeVere and his running of the Grantleigh estate and embarrased by her financial position, but James' persistance wore her down and she agreed to have dinner with him. Since then they had met regularly and recently their relationship had developed into something more romantic.

Now, she looked into James' hazel eyes, not the warm dark shade of Richard's, and laughed as his story of a crazy cross country challenge ended. "Oh James,that couldn't possibly be true!"

"Audrey, I love your laugh." James told her and she could see the adoration in his eyes and blushed. As flattered as Audrey was by all James' attention and compliments, there was still something about the relationship that she could not quite put her finger on, but she knew that she wasn't quite as comfortable with him as she would like to be. Audrey smiled at him and he stood up, it was getting late and although he had dropped several hints about staying over, Audrey had not yet extended the offer.

"I will be off now, darling." he said sadly, hoping that she might have a change of heart and invite him to spend the night.

"Gosh, yes, it's getting late!" Audrey realised and she accepted his outstretched hand and stood up too. James pulled her in to him and their lips met as his arms wrapped around her. When their kiss broke, James murmurmed in her ear, "Mmmm that was nice, I could get used to kissing you." Audrey smiled demurely, "Yes, it is nice." but when his hands crept up and under her shirt Audrey giggled and pushed him away.  

"Mmmmm. You have always played hard to get, but I like it." he said and pulled her in to kiss again before taking his coat and leaving for his home.

With his big personality now gone, the small lodge felt very quiet and Audrey took a moment to appreciate the stillness. James had a loud, fun personality. He was exceptionally confident and charming and was so active that he did not like to sit still for too long. At times, Audrey found him a little exhausting and this, along with some trepidation to take their relationship to the next level, was what had prevented her from inviting him to stay. It was still light and Audrey decided to take Bertie for a short stroll around the estate to make the most of the summer weather.

They had not been walking for long when Richard DeVere crossed their path. "Oh Richard, I didn't expect to see you!' Audrey exclaimed when she almost ran into him. Her heart was beating wildly and she wasn't sure why, she supposed she was just happy to see him as it had been at least a month since they crossed paths. She wondered if that made him happy, not having her on his doorstep complaining about his plans or perceived misdemeanours. He looked good, as usual, his handsome features lighting up when he saw her.

"It's been a while." he replied dryly and he could see that his remark was not well recieved. Her nose crinkled as she tried to read into what he had said. All she could think to say was, "Yes, well I suspect we have both been busy."

She was flustered and Richard almost enjoyed seeing Audrey react to him but he didn't want to fight with her. Despite her usual displeasure with him, he missed her company and their interactions. She looked lovely, the summer bought out a freshness and vitality in her.

"Yes." he said softly and Audrey felt his eyes look over her. "Maybe I could walk with you?" he suggested.

"That would be nice." Audrey smiled at him and Richard was relieved that she had agreed. They were quiet as they walked and Audrey enjoyed the comfortable silence, of just being near Richard without having to say anything. Even though James had occupied so much of her attention, she realised now how much she had missed Richard - their battles and banter. He was good company. She wondered if he felt the same, or if he had just been relieved that she was out of his hair for the moment.

"You’re very quiet." he observed, his eyes, now serious, on her.

"I'm just enjoying the serenity." she replied, and she really was. It was the first time she had felt truely relaxed for a while. Funny, how it should be with Richard and not James that she felt this. Richard heard her sincere tone, but as always was suspicious and asked with concern, and a little hurt, "Did you want to be on your own?"

Realising he had misunderstood her words, she laughed and said, "No, it's just nice to be together and not have to talk. Just to be." Her smile surfaced every feeling that he had towards her which he so often pushed down. She might be the most difficult woman he had ever come across, but it had not diminished his feelings for her, it was the opposite - he loved her fiery passion, her strength, her courage and confidence. He loved the challenge that she presented but he also loved these moments - where she was sweet and kind, when all he wanted to do was gather her in his arms and declare his love for her. But she unnerved him everytime for one reason or another, and today it was the thought of her new relationship. How could she have feelings for him if she was involved with that wet?

"Yes, it is." he agreed and they continued their walk. Soon though the silence was too much for Audrey and she had to ask about his latest activities. She listened as he spoke about some business challenges and then some ideas he had in mind for the estate. He waited with baited breath to hear her complaints about them. Audrey enjoyed listening to him talk, even the business stuff which she didn't really understand. His voice was deep and commanding, it had a warmth to it that made her feel secure. Even his latest hairbrained ideas sounded reasonable on this warm evening and she surprised him by not going off like a fire cracker, as she normally did. She simply listened and nodded, considering the merit of them. 

"Audrey, what's wrong?" he had to ask. This new, agreeable Audrey was not who he knew.

"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong." she replied, now sounding defensive.

"But you haven't yelled at me for any of my ideas. This just isn't like you." he said, trying not to sound rude but Audrey laughed. She had bitten her tongue but as she explained to him, "I was enjoying our walk, I didn't want it to end so soon and in a huff." and now Richard laughed with her. "Well, it's a relief to know that he hasn't changed you." This remark though did send Audrey into a huff, "He hasn't changed me?" she challenged.

"Well, yes, your new, uh, boyfriend." Now Richard felt like he had put his foot in it. "I'm sorry Audrey, I thought, well I thought..."

"Your problem is you just don't think!" she shot back at him as he stumbled over his words. Trust him to ruin a perfectly nice walk when they had been getting along so well.

"I'm sorry Audrey, it's just that Mother told me that things were getting um, serious, with you and the Captain."

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him now and assessed where he was going with it and how much she was prepared to tell him. "We have been spending more time together." she admitted. Richard didn't know how to respond and he certainly didn't want to end the conversation in her bad books. 

"Why don't you both come to dinner at the Manor tomorrow night? I could invite Marjory and the Rector as well?" he made the peace offering. Audrey wasn't sure if she liked the idea of Richard and James together, but she could hardly see why she should refuse the invitation and so she nodded, "Thank you, that would be nice."

Richard's relief was short lived though as the thought of having to put up with the pompus Captain Capell for the night came over him.

The night was almost as dreadful as Richard had anticipated. As if seeing Audrey with James was not hard enough, listening to his endless droning on of impossible stories that the ladies lapped up was even more unbearable. Richard was quite relieved when they had all gone home and he could have his nightcap in peace and quiet. It was no wonder why Audrey had enjoyed the serenity on their walk the day before. James' voice was as irritating as a lone mosquito buzzing when one is trying to fall asleep. In fact, the whole night had put him in a terrible mood. In particular seeing how Audrey's eyes lit up at James' stories, his arm around her all night and the way he was freely able to shower her with affection. It was disgusting and Richard was sure that it would put him in a bad mood for the rest of the week. He wondered why he had never faced into his feelings for Audrey before - both with himself and with her. Maybe if he had, he wouldn't be sitting here drinking a whiskey and feeling jealous and sorry for himself.

"That DeVere really puts the V in nouveau doesn't he?" James commented to Audrey the week after the dinner. They were sitting in her drawing room, having just finished lunch. Audrey had already reflected on how well she thought the dinner had gone. Richard was his normal charming host self and seemed to get along quite well with James. Marjory, as usual, hung on to every word that Richard said and generally acted as if she was his partner for the dinner which, of course, annoyed Audrey.

"What do you mean?" she asked him, already feeling her defenses on the rise but trying to remain calm.

"Well, really, I mean offering the best of everything to everyone, just prove he has more money than sense."

Audrey felt her eye brows knit together and tried to dismiss the conversation, "He's just a generous host."

"Hmph, and the way he has done that manor up, with those awful paintings, it's just tacky." James went on. Even though Audrey had had some things to say herself about his modern style, she somehow did not like hearing James say the same. "Oh nonsense. I mean it's hardly the traditional look, but I think he has done a decent job blending in his own style."

James laughed at her comment, "Surely you must be joking?"

"No, why would I be?"

"Come on Aud, he's in your family home, acting like he owns the place -"

"Which he does!"

"As if it was his ancestrol home!"

"I don't think he ever pretends that."

"Why are you so defensive of him?" James asked her, now cross with their disagreement.

"I'm not, I just happen to disagree with you on this." Audrey tried to remain calm, but was prepared to dig her heels in on the topic.

"I saw how he looks at you." James said jelously.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Audrey asked angrily. She was now cranky with James and was not about to hold back.

"He watch you all night!"

"No he didn't! He was with Marjory."

"He is interested in you." James insisted.

"Well, if he is, he has never said and we have know each other for 2 years now. Regardless, I don't know why you are bringing this up?" Audrey was starting to lose her temper, but with her reply James calmed down and began to sulk. "I just don't like you being so close to him, all alone. Who knows what he is capable of?"

She laughed, "Do you worry that he will attack me in my home?" and she saw his face become embarrassed and he tried to cover this looking contrite.

"You're being silly now." Again, James was angling for an invitation to stay. He was becoming frustrated by Audrey's lack of interest in progressing their relationship, physically or otherwise and he decided to take a chance, "Marry me Audrey."

"What?" Audrey couldn't be sure she heard him correctly.

"Marry me." Her heart pounded as she considered his proposal. They had known each other for quite some time and they got along well. She found him very attractive, he came from the old school and it all added up. But there was something holding her back. She couldn't quite place it, although she suspected she knew why she was hesitant.

"But, where would we live? We have never even spoken about this before..." Audrey replied.

"We would live at my place, of course! Surely, you didn't think we could stay in the lodge?" he laughed, finding his perception of her naivety funny. Audrey gulped, the thought of leaving Grantleigh a concept that had never entered her mind before. 

"Oh, I'm not sure I could leave here though." Audrey admitted to him and his face fell, it was as good as a refusal. He stood up, "I need to know what you want Audrey. I'll leave you to think about it. My offer is open to you." and he walked out of the room and then out of the lodge. Audrey watched him. He could be quite childish at times. She wondered what she should do. 

It had been a month since the dinner at the manor and Richard had not seen Audrey in that time. He had heard rumours about Audrey and James, and he was not sure what to believe. His head was cloudy from all his over thinking so he decided to take a walk to try and clear his mind. It wasn't long until he heard the sound of Bertie running up to him and he turned to see Audrey walking behind him.

"Hello." he greeted her, unsure what to expect but nevertheless happy to see her. Audrey could see the warmth in his eye and she smiled, he looked good. She had forgotten how much she enjoyed looking at him. He was handsome and very debonair. Audrey felt her heart flutter, how she had missed that feeling. How she had missed him.

"Hello Richard." she replied and smiled back at him, adding, "It's been awhile."

"Yes." He wasn't sure what to say, but he had to know if the rumours were true, "I heard that you're engaged to marry James."

"He asked me." Audrey responded slowly and she saw the hurt in his face change before quickly turning to stone so that she could not read him. Her heart pounded being so close to Richard again. She didn’t want to talk about James with him. 

“Is that why I haven’t seen you?” Richard asked her curiously, unsure why Audrey was being so evasive. She laughed at his question. The truth was that she had been avoiding him, but she didn’t want to tell him that as he was sure to ask why. Instead, she teased him, “Have you missed me?”

He reached out and held her hand, although that was hardly appropriate, given she could be engaged to another man, but he needed to be close to her more than he ever had before. "Yes, I have missed you." he replied sincerely. Audrey felt his warm skin against hers and excitement buzzed through her body from his touch. She didn't know what to say next and so she enjoyed the comfortable silence between them as they started walking hand in hand. After a few minutes Richard stopped turning in front of her. He studied her beautiful face, which at that moment was looking slightly confused and apprehensive. Her blue eyes, so expressive, her clear skin. He bought a finger up to trail along her cheek down to her jaw and finally had the courage to gently bring her face to his so that he could kiss her lips. He was tentative, not sure of how Audrey would respond and when he felt her lips returning his kiss the relief and thrill together compelled him to cup both hands around her face and deepen their kiss. Audrey's face felt so small, yet secure, in his large hands that delicately moved down over her neck, creating the most erotic sensation she had ever felt. She was completely comfortable kissing Richard, it felt so natural that she knew her heart longed for him and not James.

When they finally pulled apart, Richard's eyes searched hers. Would she yell at him or push him away? He saw a small and satisfied smile creep upon her lovely features, "I've missed you too." she said, and this time her hands cupped his face as she bought him forward to kiss her again. Richard's heart soared as he felt her body melt against him and his arms pulled her even closer, loving how perfectly she fit against him. The hours he had spent dreaming of them being together, knowing that Audrey was the only woman for him and hoping she felt the same. The jealousy that he had harboured that made him realise how strong his feelings for her were and the frustration he had felt with himself for not telling her earlier what she meant to him were all worth it for this moment. This time when they broke he said, "I never want to let you go."

"Don't" she replied, and moved her hands so they clasped together behind his neck.

"Do you mean that?" he asked, for he had so much to tell her but he didn't want to make a fool of himself.

“I told James no. I couldn’t marry him.” Audrey shared and then added, “My heart belongs to someone else.”

Richard’s face broke into a smile so happy he felt like he was grinning. “Someone?” he teased her now. She loved seeing Richard so happy, his eyes twinkled and his whole face lit up. 

“Yes, he’s tall, dark and handsome.” She replied and now her hand came to his face and he nuzzled against it. 

“Anyone I know?” he asked her but before she could answer he moved in to kiss her again. The kiss was soft and tantalising slow as they savoured every moment. 

“I don’t know if you’ve ever actually met him.” Audrey sighed as Richard kissed down her neck. He loved her soft skin under his lips, he didn’t want to stop kissing her. She giggled when he gave a small growl at her answer and then moved his lips back to hers. 

“My heart belongs to you too.” he told he seriously when they stopped kissing. Now it was Audrey’s turn to smile. “I’m in love with you Audrey, I have been for quite a while.”

It felt so good to finally tell her what he had tried to hide for so long now. Her blue eyes sparkled as they met his and the crinkle at the top of her nose which he adored appeared. 

“Really?” she asked him coyly. 

“Really.” he confirmed. He didn’t want any doubt in her mind. They belonged together and he never wanted to be without her again. He wanted her in every sense, forever. 

“I’m in love with you too darling.” Audrey shared as she looked deeply into his dark eyes, seeing the love shining in them. The eyes she had loved for so long. She had dreamed of being in his arms, his lips on hers and here they were. Richard’s hand moved under her blouse and splayed across her back it’s warmth sending shivers of excitement through her body, creating a desire for more of him and when they kissed again his tongue gently touched hers. Audrey wondered how it would feel when they joined as one, if it be as fulfilling as she had imagined. 

It turned out to be so much more for both of them. Richard lay with Audrey sleeping in his arms, he never wanted to let her go or leave their bed. Her hair was on his chest and some covered her face so he carefully tucked it behind her ear. As it turned out Audrey could be very sweet and he loved her even more for it. He thought about the way she said his name when they came together, breathless and sexy. He thought about how her smooth body responded naturally to his touch. He thought about how much more he loved her than he ever considered possible. If his jealousy had consumed him before, his love for her now did. He knew he could not be without her. 

Audrey felt his fingers gently scrape her hair away from her face. She kept her eyes closed now relieved it had not all been a dream. His hands so strong had been tender with her the night before, as if she were so fragile she might break, yet she felt every move they made over her body with waves of pleasure. And when he called her name over again, Audrey had never heard such desire or need for another, although she felt the exact same for him. He gave her feelings of fulfilment that she had not believed possible. She sighed and opened her eyes to find him watching her. 

“Good morning darling.” He said with a smile, for he had never been happier or more content. Her eyes looked at his face, unshaven and now ruggedly good looking. Maybe he shouldn’t shave, she thought. She propped herself up on her arm to kiss him. “Good morning.” she replied and let her fingers graze over his stubbly face, which was surprisingly soft. Richard’s eyes lit up, he was worried that the morning might bring some regret on Audrey’s part and he was relieved to be wrong. There was so much he wanted to talk to her about but last night had not been about deep conversation. True, he had whispered sweet words of love to her but today he wanted to really talk with her. To find out if her love for him was strong enough to consider marriage. 

“No regrets?” he asked, though it hardly seemed necessary. 

“Not a one.” She kissed the top of his nose. “You?”

“Never. I have wanted to be with you for so long darling, it was like a dream that came true.”  Audrey smiled as his words washed over her. Yes, it had been better than the best dream she could have ever imagined. He pulled her close to him now and she could hear his heart beating. 

“I have waited too long already for you Audrey darling, I don’t ever want to be apart.”

His words bought tears to her eyes. She was not normally one given to emotion but her love for him triggered this reaction. “Neither do I darling.” she told him and saw how happy this made him. 

Yes, there was still so much to talk about but they both knew that they were better together. Nothing would stop them now.