Chapter Text
The moment they arrive home and Yunlong does to the kitchen to feed Pangzi Ayunga finds himself at the balcony lighting up a cigarette. He didn’t know how badly he needed one until he lets out the first puff.
The door creaks.
“What’s wrong? Gaz?”
“Nothing.”
Ayunga turns away.
“Gazi” Yunlong comes closer.
Ayunga stays silent watching as the sun glazes the rooftops in red and yellow.
‘Tomorrow’s gonna be windy’ he thinks absent-mindedly.
The cigarette in his hands is burning and he feels that sticky and sour taste at the back of his throat.
Yunlong comes closer and stands next to him quietly observing the view. He takes the cigarette from Ayunga’s hand and inhales shortly.
Ayunga closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
“Talk to me” Yunlong says finally looking at Ayunga’s profile.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Something got you upset. I can’t let you go back to Beijing like that.”
Ayunga laughs. Oh, how he’d like to be there right now. Yet he has never been able to say no to Zheng Yunlong.
“I saw the way he looked at you. The way you talked. Back in the bar.” He manages.
“Who? Lingfei?” Yunlong confusedly asks.
Ayunga nods slightly.
“And what about it?” Yunlong still seems to not understand anything.
“You look…like the best of friends.’’
“Well...” Yunlong smiles openly, “we did get on pretty well.”
Ayunga hums and nods to himself. This feeling that’s been with him all the time he was in Shanghai...that shameful, ugly feeling of…it’s too much for him.
The quiet lingers between them. It is always been like this. They rarely talked, both pretty much preferring to hide behind the comfortable quietness and keeping everything to themselves.
The gust of wind makes them both shiver and Yunlong throws away the cigarette.
“We should get back inside-“
Yunlong turns to open the door as Ayunga catches his hand.
“Please, don’t.”
Yunlon turns to him, his face confused.
“Gazi?”
Ayunga doesn’t let go of his hand.
There’s so much that he wants to say...It’s been boiling for years and years inside. His mask finally gave a crack when he saw his Dalong just slipping away from him. First Shanghai, then Lingfei…He couldn’t…just couldn’t lose him. Not like that.
“Don’t leave me.”
Yunlong smiles and his eyes are glowing with something so tender and calm that Ayunga’s heart hurts.
“I’m here, Gazi”.
And that’s the trigger.
Ayunga feels the sudden outburst of anger and desperation and something else. He wants him. He wants his Dalong all for himself. Not for these people, not that Lingfei, no one but him….He sighs brokenly and shortens the distance between them and kisses him.
He feels how Dalong gasps and his lips part, yet Ayunga doesn’t dare to deepen the kiss. It feels so good. Almost liberating and horrifyingly sobering.
He pulls away as quickly as possible.
“I’m—God, Dalong, I’m so sorry-”
Ayunga feels his face getting red. He feels ashamed and even worse than before, he feels like he ruined everything and then-
He feels Dalong’s hand on his cheek.
“Gazi.”
Yunlong whispers and gets closer and kisses him in return.
This time it’s Ayunga’s turn to gasp and Yunlong wastes no time to deepen their kiss. Yunlong’s hands pull Ayunga towards him, and he himself wraps around Yunlong’s waist. They kiss and kiss and Dalong’s lips taste of beer and cigarettes and Ayunga can’t seem to get enough.
Yunlong pulls apart gasping for air, leaning his forehead against Ayunga's.
“So, Lingfei, huh?”
“Wha-what?” Ayunga blinks.
“Just trying to figure out who am I to thank later.”
Ayunga laughs and lightly slaps Yunlong on the shoulder.
“Shut up.”
Yunlong smiles and giggles.
“Well, make me.”
Ayunga pulls Yunlong by the waist closer to himself and whispers to his lips.
“Gladly.”