Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Betty was sitting with Inez during lunch-break, pretending to listen to one of the latest gossips Inez had in her stock. It really bugged her to think how could someone possibly be so fascinated by rumors and gossips. But then again, she was Inez, her best friend. They were friends as long as she could remember. No, not just friends or best friends. Family. Inez was her family. They had such a strong bond with each other that only deepened with time. So despite the little flaw of Inez, Betty really loved her as she knew Inez was one of the best people she had ever met.

“So what do you think?”, said Inez with a hint of amusement.

“What do I think about what?” Betty cursed herself silently as she didn’t hear a single word Inez spoke. And now Inez was asking her something she had no idea about.

“You didn’t listen to me, did you?” Inez asked, feigning hurt.

Betty laughed. “I was thinking about the test tomorrow. Sorry” she made her best puppy eyes, pouted and looked at Inez. Inez laughed at that. “Okay! Forgiven. I was telling that James has a crush on you.”

“Umm...what?” Betty’s eyes widened, clearly surprised. “James as in James?”

“Yes, yes, James as in James. Hot-and-Handsome senior James.” Inez let out a playful snort. “And by the way, how many James do you know exactly?”

“Oh. Okay” replied Betty. Not sure how to react to that. After her past relationship she didn’t really have any energy, faith and more importantly, the heart to even think about it.

“What Okay? You think I’m kidding, right?” Inez knew what Betty was thinking. She knew how the previous douchebag treated her. From the start she never wanted Betty to date him but she didn’t listen. Well, love does make you blind. “Listen, Let’s not think about…what I think...you’re thinking right now.”

“So you’re mind-reading now?” Betty asked grabbing a potato chip from Inez’s plate. Inez giggled happily as the mood again lightened.

“You might be blind but I’m not.” Inez smiled smugly. “Besides…everybody knows. Come on! It’s so obvious. Did you even notice how he looks at you?”

She did. Inez might think her blind but she was not. The truth was she wasn’t ready to confront them. At least not so soon.

“And what about when that douchebag was bothering you…at the playground ? When James swooped in and shoved him away from you huh?”

Betty’s lips pulled into a small smile. Inez had literally nicknamed her ex-boyfriend Douchebag. “He was JUST being a gentleman.” Betty said not meeting Inez’s gaze who shrugged. “And you sure that this is not another rumor you picked?” She raised one of her eyebrows at her.

“Ahhhhhhh” Inez shook her head as if she was trying to explain calculus to an infant. “Denial. I see.”

“Just finish the damn lunch, okay?”

The water was about to spill all over Betty’s skirt when Inez nudged her arm. “WHAT?”, Betty followed Inez’s gaze and her eyes landed on James who was laughing and talking with his friends. She quickly averted towards Inez and gave her a ‘what the hell’ look. “Uhmm-uhmm he was looking at you, well, practically staring at you.”, said Inez, amused.

Betty sighed. Inez was pointing out…again…all the reasons why according to her, James had a crush on Betty. “Stop it already.”, she said not paying attention. “What are you now? A matchmaker?” She laughed.

The bell rang, announcing the ending of the lunch break. They got up and Inez looped her hand around Betty’s arm. “Just wait till he asks you to be his date at the prom.”

“Shut up!”

He did. He did ask her to be his date at the prom. Betty didn’t know why or what made her say yes. Maybe she thought it as a way to repay him for saving herself from the obvious chaos the encounter with her ex-boyfriend would lead to in front of her classmates. Maybe to check if what Inez said was true. Or maybe she just wanted to say yes. But when she found herself standing in front of her mirror, fixing her hair and putting final touches to her makeup, she knew James was slowly breaking the walls she had built around herself. She chose a thin-strapped V-neck blue gown that hugged her curves perfectly. She knew she made the right decision by the look on his face when he came to pick her up with his car and saw her stepping out of the front door of her house.

James was draped in a well-pressed black suit, the white shirt peeking beneath and a black tie. His hair was slicked back, giving a whole new dimension to his already defined face. They were slow-dancing, just like every pairs in the hall.

James raised their joined hands to the side and entwined their fingers. She let her free hand rest at his shoulder as he placed his at the small of her back when another song started.

What time you coming out? We started losing light
I'll never make it right if you don't want me around

James heard Betty humming the song. He lowered his head to meet her eyes and smiled. “You listen to The 1975?” She chuckled in response. “I looooove them.” James flashed one of his charming smiles at her. He brought his lips closer to her ears as he started.

I'm so excited for the night, all we need's my bike and your enormous house
You said some day we might when I'm closer to your height

Betty raised her eyebrow at him, surprised. “You sing.” James shrugged smugly in response.

Till then we'll knock around and see if you're all I need

Don't you see me now?

And before they even knew, they were both singing and swaying together as if it was the most natural thing they had ever experienced. The awkwardness and nervousness they had before the eve, was wiped away from their mind.

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
Don't you need me?

I, I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
And on this night and in this light
I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you
Maybe you'll change your mind

She giggled as he suddenly spun her around and pulled her back to him. He smiled looking down at the girl in his arms who had already stolen his heart without even knowing. I mean it, Betty. I mean every words of this song. He thought to himself.

They were loving the comforting silence between them on their drive home, stealing glances at the each other when the other wasn’t looking.

They alighted from the car and James walked over to her side, looking down. The crescent moon in the sky matched the pendant hanging from Betty’s neck. James wanted to trace it. He wanted to drag her finger along the chain holding her pendant. He wanted to graze her exposed collarbones with his knuckles. But in the end, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, afraid that he might not stop himself if they were free.

“Thanks.” Betty broke the silence first. “Well, thanks to you too.” James looked at her confused face. “For being my date tonight”, he clarified. Betty let out a small laugh.

He hadn’t felt this kind of pull towards her before. But now that he knew how it felt to rest his hand at the small of her back, the way she gripped his shoulder lightly while dancing, their bodies swaying together to the rhythm of the music, the giggles she let out, the way she was singing the song, above all how ethereal she was looking tonight, it all made him dizzy with overwhelm. He suddenly realized that he hadn’t even told her how beautiful she looked.

“You were looking beautiful tonight.” His voice was almost a whisper. “Very beautiful actually.” He saw Betty’s eyes widen, surely taken aback by his sudden compliment. He suddenly felt panicked. How did that sound? Like a dork? Cheesy? His expression softened as he saw Betty smiling shyly and saying a thank you.

He returned her smile easily. “Well, goodnight then.”, said James. Betty nodded and said goodnight.

“Betty…” She was about to open the front door when she heard him call her name. She stopped and turned back to face him. Betty tilted her head up slightly to look at him only to see James already staring at her. James was not sure what he wanted to say but her name just rolled off his lips. The three words almost at the tip of his tongue, waiting to be released. But now was not the time.

“Hmm?” she almost whispered.

He didn’t know when he pulled one of his hands out of pocket and was tucking a lock of her dark curls behind her ear. His eyes flicked between her eyes and lips simultaneously. She felt weak to her knees at the intense gaze of James. “Nothing.” He pulled his hand away, taking a step back quickly.

Betty turned her eyes away as she fumbled with the doorknob and pushed open the door clumsily, looked over her shoulder to see James still standing at the same spot staring at her retreating back with…what was it...longing? She smiled and closed the door behind her. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and rushed to her bedroom. Closing her bedroom door, she leaned against it to regain her composure and steady her racing heart. She grinned. The type of grin she didn’t have in a very long time. Inez was probably telling the truth.

“Inez” Betty said with a firm voice. “I’m NOT going to Dorothea’s party. End of discussion.”

“WHY!”

“This is NOT my type of party and you know it.” Betty crossed her arms.

“Okay. Don’t come. But in that case don’t talk to me for…” Inez tapped her index finger several times at her chin. “…a month.”

“Well, not gonna happen.” Betty thought for a second. “What if I buy you your favorite ice-cream and you stop bugging me about that…party.” Betty wiggled her eyebrows with a smug smile on her face. I know you can’t say no to choco-brownie.

They were walking around the playground. Betty suddenly heard the familiar voice calling her name from behind. James. Unknowingly she smiled and turned her head to see James running towards her in his soccer practice uniform. “Hey” he stopped few steps away from her.

She returned his greeting. “You were practicing.”

“Yeah.” James scratched the back of his neck with his fingers. “Yeah I was.”

Betty waited a few moments but he didn’t say anything. She asked softly, “You wanna say something?”

“Yeah” James debated over his mind if he should ask what he was thinking. Even if he did, what her answer would be. “You going tomorrow?”

Not again! she thought to herself and sighed. “James, actually...” She started as Inez interrupted “Are you going, James?”

If it was before James wouldn’t have gone. Open-to-all party meant crowd, the thing James hates. But now the mere possibility of spending time with Betty was making him do things he wouldn’t have done before. They were in different grades. Except lunch-break, waving hands at each other in the hallway and occasional texting, they had spent no time together since prom. Before that they barely even knew each other. When he asked her for prom, he was almost sure that she would not accept it. But then she did. And since then, his feeling towards her and the desperation of confessing them was growing with passing days.

Inez added as she saw James contemplating the universe of…she didn’t know what. “YES! Of course, she’s coming!”

Betty shot her head towards Inez, signaling her to stop. Inez ignored her and continued “We were just talking about that, you know, when to go, what to wear- this kind of stuff. Girl’s talk.”

“Okay! Well, then...” James grinned goofily. “I was thinking...umm…well, I was thinking if it’s okay…if I…” he saw Betty glaring at Inez who was laughing uncontrollably. He cleared his throat that caught their attention and they both turned to look him.

“You were thinking?” said Inez, wiggling her eyebrows. James couldn’t understand why she was so amused.

“Yeah. I mean...” James looked at Betty staring at him with confused eyes. “Can we go to the party together?” He had been in dates multiple times but he never felt this nervous while asking out a girl and he was technically not even asking her out. James looked down at his shoes, waiting for her rejection.

“Uh-Huh.” Said Inez to tease her friend. James and Betty turned to Inez in unison.

Too late. Betty sighed. “Fine. I’ll text you the time.”

James flicked her eyes up at her and flashed a smile. “Okay. I’ll see you then.” Betty nodded in reply.

As soon as James left, Betty glared at Inez, shooting daggers with eyes.

“Am I still getting that ice-cream?” Inez teased with amidst her giggling.

“Yup!” Betty gave a fake smile before saying “With poison.”

Inez barged into Betty’s room with a paper bag in her hand, her face plastered with a smirk. Betty startled and almost jumped off her bed at the sudden unannounced entry of Inez. She narrowed her eyes at her as she said, “Go away! I’m still mad at you.”

Inez dropped on her back at the bed, next to Betty and threw the paper bag onto her lap. “Brought you a peace offering”

“What’s this?” Betty said as she was taking out the content of the bag, eyeing Inez. “Please don’t tell me it’s another trouble.”

“Oh That...” Inez pointed her finger at the bag. “…is definitely trouble.” She said and shook her head dramatically.

Betty’s eyes widened in surprise as she held a one-shouldered black-sequined dress that would probably end at mid-thigh. Her eyes were sparkling as the shiny sequins twinkled at the bedroom light. She stared at the dress in awe. She glanced at Inez whose face was plastered with a toothy grin. “That’s…” Betty started only to be cut off by Inez. “Beautiful? Amazing? Fantastic?” Inez stated enthusiastically.

Betty was not sure how to react to that. Of course, the dress was beautiful, in fact it was one of the most elegant dresses she had ever seen. One look at it and anyone would fall in love. She instantly felt guilty. Inez must have spent the money she saved for her folklore merch. “Inez…”

“Nope! Not a word.” Inez said as she shook her head slowly. “You WILL take this and wear it tomorrow.”

“You shouldn’t have done this.” Guilt was swallowing her. “I wasn’t even that angry. You knew I wasn’t.”

“Oh hello! Don’t get all emo.” Inez swatted her arm playfully and giggled as she added “It’s your birthday gift.”

Betty opened her mouth to say something and Inez raised her hand in front of her signaling her to stop. “I know, I know it’s early and it’s next month.” She followed the look on Betty’s face, still grim. “Just remember that you’re not getting gift this year on actually on your birthday.”

That worked. Betty let out a small laugh as she turned to Inez and enveloped her in a hug. Words were discarded. They both knew how much they meant to each other. They didn’t how long they sat there like that as Inez gave her a shake and said, “Now go and try it! Lemme she how hoooooot you look.” Betty laughed with tears of happiness in eyes.

Betty dropped herself on the bed as soon as she finished her homework, the exhaustion of a long day winning over. She remembered that she forgot to text James about the time as she took her phone.

B: How does 7 sound?

She played her favorite playlist as she waited for his reply. A new message popped up after a minute.

J: Perfect. I’ll be there.

Betty didn’t notice when the playlist ended when she yawned, checked the time and startled. Shit! It’s 2. She couldn’t believe that she was so engrossed in talking with James that almost three hours passed.

B: I gotta go now or I’ll be late for school tomorrow.

James checked the time and stared at the screen blankly. He had no idea what they talked about for so long, but it felt so natural that he couldn’t fathom how the seconds passed by so quickly.

J: yeah, me too. Gn

B: Gn

James hesitated a bit before finally ringing the doorbell. A woman opened the door and gave him a questioning look. Her expression softened after a few seconds as she said, “James?” He nodded.  That must be Betty’s mom. “Hello, Mrs. Jones.” She welcomed him in. “Betty, James is here.” She said loud enough for Betty to hear.

“Coming! Just a minute.” Betty checked herself in the mirror. She never attended such a party where the booze kept flowing, the music was too loud and literally such an open-to-all party. How’s that even a thing! She had straightened her hair. She did her makeup as Inez advised- only eyeliner and red lipstick. As guessed, the dress ended up mid-thigh. She smoothed her dress one last time and took a deep breath.

James’s jaw dropped as he saw Betty coming down the stairs into the living room. He scoured her vocabulary for the right word that would do justice to how beautiful she was looking. He fell short. Betty stopped in front of him, slowly lifting her head to meet his eyes with hers. He looked handsome in his Levi’s and vintage tee. Casual, yet elegant, she thought.

Betty’s mom glanced at James, then at Betty and pursed her lips to stifle a smile. She cleared her throat that broke their stupor. “Don’t be too late, okay?”

“No, mom.” She walked over to her with a smile and gave her a cheek kiss.

She put on her black high heels. She looped her hand over the arm James offered and walked towards the door as she shouted, “Bye Mom!”

James brought her lips near her ear and whispered, “You look…gorgeous.” She felt the hair at the nape of her neck rise as she felt James’s breathing behind her ear. “Thank you”, her voice barely above a whisper that she doubted if he heard it.

James backed a step, not trusting himself in such a close proximity with her. “Let’s go.”

“Hey! You’re finally here!” Inez shouted as she noticed Betty and James entering the ground. She all but ran over to them hugged Betty who retuned it easily. “You look smoking hot!” Inez whispered to her as Betty laughed. She broke their hug and eyed Inez head to toe and said, “And you, Miss Inez Rodriguez, look ravishing.” They both giggled. “I guess Dan had the same reaction as well, huh?”, said Betty as she nudged Inez’s shoulder with hers playfully.

Inez blushed and looked over to where Dan was standing. She smiled at him who smiled back. Betty was happy for them. And honestly, Inez and Dan had the most unproblematic relationship in high school. No showing-off. No extravagance. Only staying true to each other and loving endlessly.

“Go before he comes at me for stealing away his time with his girlfriend.” Betty said as she shoved her lightly. Inez rolled her eyes as she giggled and went to Dan.

James who was standing just behind Betty, watching the girls teasing each other, he reached for her hand and held it firmly. He smiled when he felt Betty intertwining their fingers.

The music was loud. Betty couldn’t recognize any of the song as she stood over the counter with James watching the crowd having fun. “So, what do you wanna do?” James asked.

“I don’t know.” Betty glanced around her.

“Shots?”

Betty laughed at his proposal before saying, “I’m a bad drunk. Ask Inez.” She laughed as she recalled the time she got drunk and ended up as an embarrassment.

James laughed with her. It was difficult not to laugh when she was there, all beaming and free-spirited. “I’ll take care of that this time.”, said James as he took two shots and held one in front of her.

She giggled as she received it and clinked with his. She brought it to her mouth, closed her eyes and gulped it down. She felt a buzzing sensation travelling down her throat to her stomach. She took another couple of shots and held one for James who raised his eyebrow at her with an amusing smile on lips. She was reaching for another when James grabbed her hand. She turned to him and narrowed her eyes. “That’s it.” said James. “That’s your borderline.”

Betty let out a disgruntled snort that caused James to chuckle. “Why don’t you go and join in…” Betty waved her hand at where the others were flipping cups and jumping into the pool. “…all the fun?”

“Nah, I’m good.”, said James. “I hate crowd anyway.”

“Well, in that case…” Betty fiddled with idea of leaving the party.

“Hmm?”

“Let’s get out of here.” She added, “Look. We won’t drown ourself in booze.” James shook his head and chuckled, “Definitely not.”

“Exactly. Besides, there’s literally nothing else for us to do.”

“Okay then where do you wanna go?” He wasn’t ready to leave Betty’s company just yet. Does she want to go home?

“You choose.”, said Betty not wanting to go home just after an hour and hear her mom fussing over if she was okay and how she should enjoy more. Besides she was intrigued to know more about him as she was exploring an unexpected side of him. She never thought of him as someone who would hate crowd. She didn’t even understand why he liked her. She had seen girls riling up for him. Why didn’t he go for one of them? But then again, she questioned herself, how much did she really know him? She had always watched him from distance, just like we watch a show-piece from behind the glass-door, underestimating its original glimmer until it was taken out of that glass and we awed at the blinding beauty of it.

James smiled as he realized she wasn’t thinking about going home. “Come to my house.”

“WHAT?!” The word left Betty’s mouth louder than she expected.

“Yeah why not?” James replied, realizing Betty’s surprise at his sudden proposal. “It’s just five minutes.”

“I don’t think…” She fiddled with the sequins at her hem of dress nervously. “I shouldn’t…”

“Hey” James took her hand in his and clutched tightly, drawing small circles with his thumb over the back, let his gesture alone convey the message that he was with her. “It’s fine.”

“Sure?” Betty asked lowly.

“Sure.”

James glanced at Betty who was fiddling with her fingers. “You’re nervous.” She shook her head. Clearly nervous. He took her hand and encased it in a firm grip. He looked at her and smiled reassuring as he rang the doorbell at his house.

James’s mom opened the door and drew her eyebrows close. “Weren’t you going to be late tonight?”

“Yeah I was.” He chuckled. “But…” He tilted his head towards Betty and his mom followed. She smiled knowingly. Betty. The girl James talks about.

She looked at Betty who was looking down at the porch. “Hey, come inside!” She stepped aside to let them in.

“Nice to meet you, Betty.” She knows my name? Mrs. Smith enveloped Betty in a hug that she returned awkwardly at first, then eased herself at her amiability. James’s mom released her as she said, “You look beautiful by the way.”

“Thanks, aunty.” Betty replied shyly and instantly realized if she should’ve gone for Mrs. Smith instead. “I mean…”

James’s mom seemed to realize her dilemma. She patted her shoulder lovingly and said, “It’s good. Don’t worry…really.” She turned to James, “Show her your room, James.”

James nodded. “Come with me.” He led her towards his room as he listened her mom saying “Leave the door unlocked.” James rolled his eyes and Betty went red in embarrassment.

James waved his hand to his room, signaling Betty to enter. She let out a small laugh at his adorable gesture as she entered. He went behind her and shut the door, leaving the lock unbolted. “My mom” James scratched the back of his neck. “She’s kinda…”

“She’s nice.” Betty said smiling. “Yes, you were right, I was nervous at first. I mean I’m not even…” Betty pointed at her dress. “…properly dressed to meet someone’s parents.” She let out a disgruntled laugh. “But she’s nice. I like her.” She smiled genuinely. She realized that she didn’t see James’s dad yet. “Where’s your dad by the way?”

“Oh he’s in Washington. Business tour.”

Betty sat at the edge of his bed and patted the space next to her. James settled himself at the other side, facing her. She glanced around his room and spotted a shelf full of vinyl records, beside was a record player on a corner table. She instinctively walked over to it as she ran her fingers at the rim of the player. It was beautiful. She fantasized how she would love to play Reputation and have her own little bedroom version of rep tour in her PJs. She laughed at herself and threw her head back. She took a step forward as her head hit at what must be James’s chest. She hadn’t realized when he came and stood behind her.

“Wanna play something?” Betty grinned and nodded enthusiastically. James smiled and pointed towards the shelf as he looked at a cheerful Betty looking at him. “Go ahead. Your choice. Though I know you love Taylor Swift and she’d be your first choice.” He smiled smugly at him.

Betty’s smile widened. He knows. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Come on!” she swatted his chest playfully. “I’m not that predictable.” She practically bounced on her feet and started to look through his collection. Her fingers itched to take out folklore as soon as she saw it but she fought back the urge, not wanting to give James the satisfaction. She took out AM by Arctic Monkeys. She stretched out her hand in front him holding the record, flashing a cheeky grin. James made a surprised face. “Didn’t think you listen to Arctic Monkeys.”

“Oh I don’t…” Betty shrugged her shoulders, put the vinyl in the player and adjusted the limb. “…until now.” She said as the room filled with the interlude of Do I wanna know?

“Thought you would be more of 1D type.” He teased her, nudging her side with his elbow.

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes. “You’ve no idea how much I cried when they broke up.” She pretended to wince as if hurt that made James broke out in a laughter.

They were moments like these when James thought that she might reciprocate his feelings as well- when he would tuck her hair or hold her hand and she wouldn’t protest. When she would laugh and joke with him without any self-consciousness.

Betty was sitting at the bed, next to her, James was lying on his back on the bed, facing the ceiling, legs dangling at from the edge. “Come here.” James dropped his arm loosely at the empty place beside him. “Lie down.”

She wanted to. But she knew if she did, her dress would go up dangerously high. So, she shook her head dismissively. “I’m fine.” James huffed out a breath

He stood up suddenly as Mad Sounds started playing. Betty frowned and gave him a ‘what?’ look. She looked at him who had his hand stretched in front of her. “May I have this dance?”

She smiled and took his offered hand with hers. She gasped as he pulled her up from the bed with a jolt that caused her to hit his chest, his other arm wrapped over her waist to steady her. They were never this close before. She blushed, her palms sweating. She tilted her head a little to see James already staring at her with heated gaze. She felt a shiver running down her spine. She could feel the feather-light brush of his lips on her cheek.

James wanted to kiss her. He needed to kiss her. But she wasn’t ready. She was scared, it was written all over her face. He pulled away.

“You’re scared.” He sighed.

“No. I’m not.” She said more to convince herself than him. “It’s just…” She trailed off, not knowing the words to finish.

“Betty…” He took her hand in his, circling the back with his thumb, trying to soothe her. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t wanna risk our friendship.” Betty pulled her hand out of his grip. “I don’t wanna risk…us.” She didn’t mean to blurt out. “I can’t do this. Not right now.” She knew he wasn’t the one who broke her into pieces. But months of pain, rage, anger, hurt coiled inside her altogether, forcing the words out of her mouth. “I feel like a used cardigan. An old, ragged, torn-up cardigan that people use and throw under the bed when they get bored of it or it runs out of the fashion statement.”

James felt like someone had punched in his gut. He flinched at her words. He wasn’t hurt because she said these to him. He was hurt to know that this was how Betty sees herself. He knew the scars from her past relationship were still fresh. He wanted to draw stars around them if that was possible. He wanted to ease her pain and love her so much that she would never ever remember that pain anymore.

 He took a deep breath and placed his hands on each of her shoulders. “You are…not…an old cardigan. And even if you were…” He hooked his finger under her chin and tilted her head up to meet his gaze as he continued, “…you’d still be my favorite.”

Betty took a step back. “I’m…I’m sorry…I should…go home.” She struggled to let the words out. James nodded. “I’ll drive you home.”

“It’s fine. You don’t need to…”

James didn’t let her finish as he said. “I want to.”

“Giving me your weekends, huh?” They were in his car, returning home from the movie theatre. They were reluctant to label it as date, though their subconscious mind screamed exactly so, just like Inez did once she told her.

James chuckled. “I was bored in home.” He lied. He knew the reason he was there was that he wanted to spend his time with her. Weekdays were a mess. They both needed to vent out the Monday-to-Friday exhaustion of their system. And that was how they found themselves hanging out together every weekend.

The clouds were gathering, turning the already dark night-sky even darker, followed by the raindrops thudding against the window glass composing a music on their own. “Stop the car!”

“Umm…what?” James shot a glance at her, dumbfounded.

“You heard me.”

James was dumbfounded but stopped the car anyway. Betty opened the door and jumped out of it. She paced towards the middle of the empty street. She shivered as she felt the cold water splashing her skin.

James watched her soaking herself in the rain, her eyes fluttering as she struggled to look up at the sky, her lips curled in a breathtaking smile. He saw her having the time of her life, drenched in rain, water dripping from her hair, her thin sweatshirt so plastered to her body that he could even make out the dip of her navel. She was beautiful even in an ordinary sweatshirt and jeans.

“COME HERE!” Betty’s voice broke him out of his stupor. He shook his head as No. He broke out in a laughter as she pouted and crossed her arms in front her chest. “GET IN THE CAR, BETTY!” He screamed from the driver’s seat as the raindrops were thudding against the street as if angry.

“FIVE MORE MINTUES.”

“NO. GET IN THE CAR RIGHT NOW.” He frowned as she ignored him. He was concerned at this point that she might catch a cold but there she was, having no intention of getting in. I really have to do this.

Betty shot her eyes open as she felt her feet sweeping off the ground. James was lifting her up, his one hand wrapped around the back of her knees and the other over her shoulder.

“LET ME DOWN!” She wiggled to free herself. James tightened his hold on her and said nothing as he continued to walk towards the car. He himself was as wet as she was. He settled her in the passenger’s seat and went over to his seat. He sat there, just gripping the steering wheel, not even starting the engine.

Betty watched and giggled at his grimaced face. She laughed even harder when he furrowed his brows and clenched his jaw.

“Come on! Don’t be mad at me. It was…” She said as she leaned herself a little to his side and ruffled his wet hair with her fingers, “…magical”

James tried to maintain his stern expression but failed miserably. He turned towards her and said gently, “You might get sick.”

“We’ll see”, said Betty and she ruffled his hair again.

He smiled this time, tilted his head nearer to her face and shook his head, causing his already wet hair to tickle her face. She giggled. “Oh! So you’re ticklish.” He moved his hands at the side of her waist and started to tickle her. “Perfect. Now that’s your punishment.”

“No…no, no, no, no.” She giggled, her eyes watered. “Stop” she begged him in between her heavy breathing as James tickled her mercilessly. Their combined laughter reverberated in the car, creating a harmony with the sound of pouring rain.

Betty felt her sweatshirt riding up her waist, revealing the skin just above the waistband of her jeans. She felt James’s hands on her bare skin. Her breath hitched. She tried to get his attention, calling his name that came out so low that she was sure James couldn’t hear it. “James”. She tried again, raising her voice a little.

James heard Betty calling his name breathily, he stopped right where he was as realization set in. He felt his fingertips on her cold, wet and bare stomach. He knew he should move right away but he couldn’t as if an invisible force kept him pinned. He noticed how her breathing staggered, her lips parted ever so slightly, trembling. Their eyes locked, his dark brown eyes piercing through her sapphire blue orbs with intensity. He lowered his eyes to her lips, then flicked them back to her eyes again.

Waterdrops from James’s hair fell onto Betty’s face and trickled down. James’s eyes followed the movements of them as they cascaded their way down her cheek, jaw and neck. James gulped the lump in his throat. He should tear his gaze away but she, with zero effort, was making it difficult for him.

“James”, whispered Betty, the word leaving her mouth on its own as she felt his breath hot against her damp cheek.

James couldn’t pinpoint the tone of Betty’s voice right now. For a split of second he thought it as a plea, a thought of his lust-hazed brain. The next, he considered the possibility of it as a protest. He didn’t know what she meant as all he could think about was her lips. They were tempting, inviting James to taste them. The need to kiss her was as urgent as his need to breathe.  He recalled what happened when he first wanted to kiss her. I can’t do this. Not right now. Their early conversation played at the back of his mind. He debated in his head what the outcome would be if he proceeded further. Does she want me to kiss her? What if she doesn’t? Will it ruin…us?

Betty’s breathing became more labored as she sensed the air changing between them. She stared back at his eyes, watching as his pupils dilated, reflecting longing, love and lust. She shuddered under his heated gaze but silently blamed it on the weather.

Is it the end of something beautiful? Or is it the beginning of something even more beautiful? He leaned in a little. If he let go of this opportunity, he was afraid that he might not get another. He couldn’t help but think of all repercussions. Consequences be damned! He crashed his lips with hers in the blink of an eye. All tension wiped away as all he could feel was the taste of her lips. Today, he would pour all his love into this kiss.

She gasped and slammed her eyes closed as James started to kiss her. It felt good. It felt right. And most importantly, comfortable. She kissed him back, haphazardly at first, then matching the rhythm he set. She dragged her hands up his back to hold the back of his neck with one, the another gripping his hair.

He smiled in relief as he felt her respond and deepened the kiss. She moaned when he slid his hand under her sweatshirt caressing her side, his other hand tangled in her damp hair. He released her lips only to attack her neck. She arched her back, tilting her head to allow him better access. Her body was singing with forbidden sensation as she felt him leaving open-mouthed kisses all over her jaw, neck and collarbone. She clutched his shirt tightly, trying to hold on to something to keep her grounded. He could feel the heat radiating from her body as he sucked on her neck, leaving a tattoo-kiss as if imprinting himself on her skin. He trailed kisses on her throat, all the way down the neckline of her sweatshirt, humming in bliss.

The way she arched her back to his touch, the way she was gripping his hair, the way it felt to stay pressed against each other, sent his mind to overdrive. He knew if he didn’t stop right now, he might not be able to stop until the extremities. He reluctantly pulled away and looked at Betty.

Betty opened her eyes slowly. She was panting and so was he, both of their chests heaving up and down. She lost her words as she saw him staring at her, his face a clear reflection of his feelings and she was sure, hers looked the same. She smiled.

James’s grin widened as he saw Betty smiling. He dropped his forehead to hers as they both tried to calm their racing hearts.

James couldn’t wait anymore. He wanted to say this. No, he needed to say this. He needed to free himself from the heavy burden of the unspoken truth. “I love you”, he said, still breathing heavily. He lifted her head up slightly, his hands wiping her hairs away from her flushed face. He looked straight into her eyes as he said, “I’m in love with you, Betty.”

Betty couldn’t help the smile spreading her lips, so wide that her cheeks were hurting. She pulled him in for another gentle kiss, hoping that would convey her answer. “Though I get the point…” He chuckled. “…but I really need to hear them back.”

Betty snaked her arms around his back as she said, “I love you too.” James wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, resting his chin on top of her head as he smiled in pure contentment. She smiled back as she remembered the exact words he said when she didn’t let him kiss her in his room, losing against her insecurity. Even if you were, you’d still be my favorite.

Chapter Text

Salt air, and the rust on your door

I never needed anything more

The song came out of her Bluetooth speaker as Augustine put on a thin shirt and her shorts over her bathing suit. Welcome back, summer. She and her girls-gang had planned to hang out at the beach, swimming, sun bathing with lots of ice-cream and watermelon. She hopped onto her feet as she opened the door and joined her friends waiting outside.

They decided to walk the way together, kidding, gossiping, giggling, cracking jokes; just what friends do when they were together and carefree.

“Y’all know James and Betty are together?” said Dorothea. The girls shook their heads in unison. They knew. Practically everyone knew that they’d get together eventually.

Augustine’s face turned grave as soon as the sentence left Dorothea’s mouth. She should’ve seen it coming. She did, but didn’t want to believe it. Her mind drifted back to the prom-night. She recalled how she wished like a lovesick fool that James might ask her to be his date. In fact a small fragment of her subconscious mind fantasized how it would feel to slow-dance with him on the dancefloor. But...that’s fine, she had consoled herself.

She thought if she should ask him herself to dance with her while entering the hall. But all her pre-assumptions along with the beads of hope she planted, shattered when she saw James with Betty. She froze on her track. They were dancing, laughing even, their faces merely inches away, muttering she didn’t know what to each other’s ears. He asked Betty. She couldn’t understand why he would ask Betty. Augustine had noticed the type of girls James dated in High School- blonde, lush, upbeat, just like her, not some ordinary next-to-door brunette like Betty. It’s just prom. No big deal. The words echoed through her mind but without any effect.

Dorothea regretted saying this instantly. She glanced over Augustine who had her head ducked down. She mentally cursed herself. “I’m sorry, Augustine. I didn’t mean to-”

Augustine shook her head dismissively. “Why would you be sorry?”

“I know, but-” Dorothea placed her hand on her shoulder. Augustine sighed. “Don’t be, It’s not your fault.” She said with a faint smile.

Augustine was walking along the shore, the wavelets caressing her feet occasionally, when her friends literally dragged her to swim. She didn’t have the energy to swim. She felt like she was drained out. She could taste the salt in the ocean as the surface turmoiled by all the swimming. She could smell summer, her favorite season. But she couldn’t enjoy anymore, not after what she had just heard.

All of them returned to the beach, where their sheets and things were placed. Unlike her friends, she didn’t dry herself. Augustine let herself drop on the sheet, feeling the sand scrubbing her skin. She closed her eyes as she felt the sunrays grazing her skin with warmth.

She turned to Jessie and opened her eyes a little as she felt Jessie poking her side. “What?”

“It’s them, isn’t it?”

“Who?” Augustine turned her face to where Jessie was pointing. Them. James and Betty. Her heart sank as she took in the image in front of her. They were in the sea, a little afar the shore, in bathing suits, laughing their hearts out as James was splashing water at Betty with his hands. She watched. She watched as James pulled her down with him in the water. She watched James placing quick pecks on her cheeks. She was still watching when they came out of the water and settled themselves on the beach, James laid on his stomach, his arm draped loosely around Betty’s waist who was lying on her back, facing the blue sky that seemed to mirror the color of her eyes.

Augustine wondered if James would look at her the way he looked at Betty if she had blue eyes too. Her gaze averted to James, his bare back on display, the beads of water on it glistening beneath the sun. She tried to picture herself in the place of Betty. She wished hopelessly how it would feel to trace his back with her fingernails, to draw patterns on it, to write her name on it.

She knew it was stupid, but what else could she possibly do? She wanted to run to the ocean, float on its surface, feeling weightless, washing all her thoughts away.

“Hey guys” She felt like choking on words. She ran her hand along her throat, trying to ease the invincible pain. “I…I’m not feeling good. I’ll go home.” After a little persuasion from her end to subside the whining from the girls, she finally got up and gathered her things as she headed to home.

She ignored her mom who was asking why she was back early and went straight to her room, locking the door behind her. She fell limply on the bed, suddenly feeling very tired and exhausted. No, not suddenly. She felt tired as soon as she heard about James and Betty. She had to put on a pretense that she was okay. But she was in her room now. Then she saw them having the time of their life at the beach and she couldn’t pretend anymore.

She let the heartbreak to win over, tears finally spilled from her eyes. She didn’t bother to wipe them away. Why would she? She needed to cry, she needed to let the tears wash away her hurt. She put her head under a pillow to stifle the sobs escaping her. She felt like she lost him. But the question swirled in the back of her mind. Have you ever had him? Her sobs intensified as she instantly found out the answer. You were never mine, James.

Betty intentionally kept her gaze fixed on the sky, the sunbeams forcing her to flutter her eyes. She could feel Augustine watching her…watching them. Everyone in the class, including her, knew Augustine liked James. Betty felt uncomfortable. Truth to be told, she still had no idea why James wanted to be with her. She never thought of herself compatible for him. Why did you go for me? She remembered asking James.

They were at his house, James lying on his bed but this time when he asked her to lie down next to him, she did. This time, she didn’t need to hold back her urge to play folklore. ‘Cause this time, the confession was made and bloomed into the most mesmerizing flower they had even seen. “Why do you like me?” Betty looked askance at James.

James looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. “We are not having this conversation.”

“But why?” Betty frowned. “I just…I wanna know. I mean I’ve seen you with your previous girlfriends. And I stray too far from them actually. Too far from you type.”

“And what exactly is my type?” James asked.

“Oh come on!” She huffed out a laugh. “Please don’t tell me that you don’t know the number of girls giving you heart-eyes all the time.” She rolled her eyes. “Augustine, for example.”

“Hmmm” James chuckled as he added, “Jealousy looks good on you.”

Betty sighed. “You’re avoiding my question.”

James tightened his hold on her waist and pulled her closer to his side as he felt Betty pushing his arm away. “What are you doing?” James knew what she was thinking. He could feel it too, glances shot at them from here and there.

“I can feel eyes on us, James.” Betty said, almost in a whisper.

“Ignore.”

“I can’t.”

“Well then, we can make out right here and they will look away.” He joked, nuzzling her shoulder with his nose, trying to ease her mind.

“Nice try. But no. I’m serious.”

James sat up and asked looking down at her, “You wanna follow my advice?”

Betty nodded.

“Her eyes, so she can look wherever she wants. We don’t have a say in this. But she’ll stop if we don’t pay attention to her.” James reached for her hand, holding it in a firm grip. “Till then, just ignore and don’t live on it.”

“Okay.” Betty replied, not entirely convinced as she closed her eyes again, letting the warmth of the sun soak through her.

His eyes stayed at Betty, his mind instantly drifting back to how vulnerable, emotionally bleeding she looked while asking him the toughest question he had ever been asked. Why did you go for me? The look on her face now…was alike.

James felt her distant. He watched as she tried to put on a neutral expression but failed anyway, her nerves overtaking her features. She was asking him why he loved her. A question he knew the answer to, but didn’t know how to put it into words. It was a feeling that demanded to be felt. So, he did. He felt it anyway and in the end, it consumed him. He understood Betty’s anxiety, her need for reassurance. He took her hand that was rested on her stomach and entwined their fingers. He started, choosing his words carefully.

“First of all…I don’t like you.” He sensed Betty stiffened a little. “I love you.”

“Look, if you ask me ‘do I love you’, the answer is yes, no second thought.” He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. “But if you ask me why, I’m not entirely sure how to frame the answer.” He paused, trying to recollect his thoughts. “I understand if you feel insecure, though you shouldn’t, but still…” He brought their joined hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly. He heard Betty sighing. “…just know that my love for you…is stronger than your anxiety.”

“But Augustine…” She halted mid-sentence as James pressed his index finger to her lips, gesturing her to stop.

“Well, she is not you.” James climbed on top of her, his face hovering just above hers. He turned her face, forcing her to look into his eyes as he stated, “I don’t bring her home.” He kissed her cheek. “I didn’t introduce her to my parents.” He kissed her forehead. “I don’t play records for her, dance with her.” He kissed the corner of her mouth. “And Jeez! I most definitely didn’t swoop her up from the middle of a street, getting all drenched in rain.” He grimaced to tease Betty.

“Hey!” Betty swatted his arm playfully. “You did tickle me to death after that and then-” She stopped, blushing in remembrance.

James smirked as he said, “And then…” He covered her lips with his and once again, she felt those thousands of butterflies flapping their wings in her stomach.

Augustine didn’t know for how long she had been sleeping, but the knock on her door was loud enough to wake her up. She opened her eyes, her head felt heavy as she answered groggily, “Yes?”

“You have school, Augustine. Wake up.” she heard her mother.

“I know. I’m coming.” She used every ounce of strength she had to sit up on the bed. She slowly got down to her feet and padded towards her bathroom. She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes were swollen, the skin under was puffy. There were tear-strains all over her face. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose was crimson. I look like shit. She snorted a laugh as if mocking herself at how pathetic she looked.

How long will they last? Augustine contemplated the possibility of their break-up. Come on! It’s not like they’re in this forever. Her smile curved into a small smile. Maybe I still have a chance. She took a quick shower, put on her school uniform, ate equivalent to nothing at breakfast and headed to school. She felt nauseous at the thought of seeing them again. But she had to stay strong, she had to be patient now.

She couldn’t concentrate on any class, couldn’t make notes properly. Every time she looked at Betty, all she could see was the image of Betty and James together at the beach, enjoying the summer of love. She didn’t realize when she balled her hands into fists until she felt her fingernails digging in her palm.

After the last period, she looked at her notebook, almost blank. She sighed and started to pack her bag. She stopped as she saw James entering the classroom and walking towards Betty with a huge smile on his face. She rolled her eyes mentally.

Suddenly an idea popped up in her head. She dropped her things on the desk and quickly chased James. She stood in between them. “Hey, James!” She greeted him enthusiastically.

James was baffled at the sudden intrusion. He glanced at Betty, standing behind Augustine, her face fallen. He heard Augustine greeting him, he reluctantly let out a ‘Hi’ as he furrowed his eyebrows and gave Betty a ‘what-the-hell’ look.

Betty sighed and shook her head. She finished packing her bag and looped the straps to her shoulder. She wanted to leave, not interested in what Augustine wanted to say to him. “Excuse me.”, she said to Augustine who was happy to make enough space for her so that she could go away.

Betty was about to walk past James when she felt his firm grip around her elbow. She looked at his face, she had never seen him so stern before. “Wait.” She heard him saying, basically commanding.

Augustine greeted her teeth to see that James didn’t let her go. She shoved the feeling in the back of her mind as she mustered her best charming smile and said, “James, I know you’re good at Math. Excellent actually.”, she added as she thought just ‘good’ might not work in this moment. “I’m having problems with Math. Maybe you can help me?”

She noticed how surprised James looked. It was not a lie that he was good at Math, really good. So, she rushed in to explain, “I can’t ask Mr. William, ‘cause you know, how rude he is.” She laughed nervously, but not enough to lose her charm. “You’re so good at it, so I thought maybe...you’d like to help?”

James was flabbergasted. He did his best to ignore the wrong vibe he was getting from her demeanor. “Listen, I-”

“He’ll help you.” Betty interrupted him. James’s head shot towards her as he blurted out, “What?”

Augustine could sense that James was going to disagree. But not in her wildest dreams did she hope that Betty would say this. She didn’t wait anymore, not wanting to leave any room for James to contradict Betty. She flashed a smile at both of them while Betty returned a faint one and James…none. “Thanks! See ya.” She turned on her heels and walked away.

James pursed his lips, puzzled at Betty’s answer. He stared at her for a while and suddenly realized that he needed to say no to Augustine. “I’m sorry, I can’t-” James started to clarify but realized that Augustine was there no more.

“What was that?” He asked Betty, clearly agitated.

“Nothing. Let’s go home.”

It was now their thing- walking home together, holding hands, talking about everything and nothing, laughingly carelessly. Betty’s house was the first on the way, then they’d bid goodbye to each other with quick pecks and James would walk the remaining distance to his house alone, feeling the ghost of her lips on his cheeks.

But today, they walked in silence on their way home, the air between them thick and tense, the laughter replaced by James’s furrowed brows. Once they reached her porch, he finally asked “Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” She tried to sound nonchalant.

“You know what.” James said matter-of-factly.

“No.” Betty sighed. “I don’t.” She knew. Of course, she knew, but wanted to avoid any confrontation.

“Well then, let me spell it out for you.” He raised his voice a little, trying to break through her resistance. “Why did you say to Augustine that I’ll help her? You couldn’t see that I didn’t want to?” James asked in utter frustration.

“Just…” Betty started to explain but felt loss at words. “…just help her, okay?”

“You’re still not answering.”

“Can we just drop it, James?”

“No.” James said firmly as he turned Betty by her elbows to face him, his eyes demanding answers. “We can’t.”

“FINE! She needs help and…” She winced as she said, “…she asked you to help.”

“Is this all?” James said in askance. Betty nodded.

“Well, in that case…the decision is mine to make. So, I’m gonna tell her no tomorrow.” James waited for her to say something but she didn’t. “Say something.” He demanded but she still said nothing. He huffed out a laugh as he waved his hands exasperatedly. “Come on! We both know what she’s trying to do! And it’s working! You’re making this easier for her!” He realized that he was screaming at this point. He lowered his voice, not wanting to make a scene in public. “Why can’t you realize, Betty? This...” He waved his hand in between them as he said, “…is exactly what she wants.”

“I can’t see any problem. You do tutor part-time, don’t you? So, why not Augustine? Or are you scared that you might give in to her?”

James flinched at her words. “Did you just really say this?” He laughed incredulously. “Is this the insecurity talking?”

Of course. She thought but said, “No! I am not an insecure kiddie-pool.” She kept quiet, not wanting to drag this any further. But when she noticed James looking at her expectantly, she continued, “Just…just don’t worry about me, okay?”

His whole demeanor turned serious. “How can I not worry about you? It’s not like…you tell me so and I stop. I love you, Betty. And worrying about you…is a part of that.”

“I’m sorry.” Betty said lowly.

James shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize…at least not to me. But you just-” James sighed as he said in a calm voice, “Do you really want me to help Augustine?”

No way in hell. The word rang at the back her mind instantly. She kept her gaze fixed on the pavement, not being able to look into his eyes and lie. “I-” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I don’t know.”

“That’s not true. You know how you’d feel. And I know you enough…to understand when you lie. And right now…you’re lying, Betty. That’s why you can’t look me in the eye.”

Betty felt small, so small that she feared she might be non-existent. “Are we fighting?” The words somehow let themselves out on their own in a whisper.

He ran his hands over his face in agitation. “I guess, we are.”

“I don’t-” A sob choked her words as if it didn’t want them to be pronounced. “I don’t wanna fight.”

“Me neither.”

Betty didn’t know what to say after that. She just stood there, her gaze fixed on the ground, breathing in and out shakily, blinking her eyes furiously to keep the tears at bay. She heard James saying “Calm down” which did just the opposite. The tears no longer obeyed her ruling, the sobs seemed to get impatient from her withholding, finally broke free and moments later she was an utter mess.

But the next thing she knew was James pulling her in a loving embrace while she was mumbling incomprehensible apologies that muffled against his chest.

When she was recomposed enough, James pulled away a little as he cradled her face in between his palms, his thumbs wiping the tear-streaks away. “I’ll tell her tomorrow that I’m busy nowadays and she’ll get the hint.” He stayed silent for few seconds, just looking into her eyes, now reddish from crying. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as he said, “I hated this whole thing.”

“It wasn’t a treat for me either.” The conversation, well argument technically, was replaying in her mind. “I didn’t mean it, you know…the whole give-in-to-Augustine thing I said. It’s just…I’m really sorry.”

“Forget it.” Said James, swallowing the hurt. “So…” He exclaimed rather cheerily, trying to nullify the negativity still lurking around them. “This is our first official fight.” He said, air-quoting ‘official’. “Shouldn’t we celebrate or something?” Betty shook her head no.

“Well, you said you’re sorry. And I’m actually offended.” He looked at her, her face guilty. He bit the inside of cheeks to stop himself from laughing. “Make it up to me then.” His lips forming into a smirk.

I’m actually offended. The words buzzed inside her as she felt fresh tears pricking her eyes, threatening to spill again. Betty opened her mouth to apologize again and her eyes widened as she understood the real meaning of his sentence and not to mention his smirk. “No!” She shrieked, shoving him playfully.

“No?” The smirk still plastered on his lips as he teased her again.

“Go away.” She ran towards the front-door, giggling. She unlocked the door and turned again to look at James who was now laughing hard. She stuck out her tongue at him and closed the door.

Augustine’s face lit up as she saw James approaching her, his hands tucked inside his pockets. “Hi”, she greeted him.

James gave her a tight-lipped smile and nodded. “Listen, I-”

Augustine smiled as she said, “Yeah, tell me what time to go.”

“Actually, I was gonna say-”

“Oh wait. Shall I go to your place or you’ll come to mine?”

James couldn't help but blurt out, “None of the above.” He followed Augustine’s eyes widen in disbelief as he said, “I’m kinda busy at this time, you know, final grade and all.” He watched as her smile faded away. “I’m sorry. Please, don’t mind.”, said he and turned to leave.

“Is this because of her?” She all but whispered.

James halted and instantly realized whom she meant by her. He turned over, crossed his arms around his chest as he said, “Didn’t you listen to what I just said?”

Augustine ignored his question. “Did Betty tell you to say no to me?”

“No. She didn’t.” James said sternly. “Besides, you were there when she said yes.”

“Oh please!” Augustine huffed. “We both know she didn’t mean it.”

He tried to think of a polite way to answer her but failed.

“How long do you think it’s gonna last?” She said nonchalantly, “She’ll leave you eventually.”

Involuntarily, his hands balled into fists inside his pockets. He could feel the vein at his temple pop out. He breathed in and out deeply several times to calm his nerves and firmly said, “I can’t help you with studies. I don’t have enough time. I’m sorry.”

And with that he was gone as Augustine stood pinned where she was.

Betty dropped her notebook to the bed and reached for her phone at the bedside table as it started to buzz. She received the call and the familiar voice of Inez came from the other end, “GET READY IN FIVE MINUTES! I’M COMING RIGHT NOW” and the call ended just like that, leaving Betty completely stupidified.

True to her words, exactly after five minutes Inez barged into her room and Betty kept doing her homework, unbothered, cause now she had gotten pretty used to the little whirlwind that was Inez.

“Why are you not ready yet?” Inez yelled at her, her hands on her hips.

“Cause I’m not going.” Replied Betty, not taking her eyes off of the notebook on her lap.

Inez wasted no second in persuasion as she paced towards her closet and rummaged through her clothes. She turned on her heels, after finding what she was looking for and threw it aiming at Betty.

Betty gasped as the unforeseen attack and tilted her head to look at Inez who was grinning widely. “What the hell?” She looked at the dress on her lap that Inez just threw at her. It was a red, halter-necked bodycon. She looked again at Inez, now with questioning eyes.

“Just get dressed and I’ll tell you where we’re going on the way.”

“No.” Betty shook her head. “You’ll tell me RIGHT NOW!”

“Fine!” Inez huffed. “Apparently, it’s been weeks since we hanged out together. So, I planned a little outing for us. You, I, Daisy and Emma.”

Betty couldn’t help but think that something was off with Inez tonight. Though Inez was always a little ball of energy but when she was bothered about something she’d be over-energetic and do everything in her power to keep herself busy so that her mind wouldn’t dwell on it.

“Well, firstly I wanna remind you that you’re my best friend. God! Even ‘Best Friend’ doesn’t even cover it.” Betty smiled at her as she continued. “So, cut the crap and tell me what happened.”

Inez sighed, realizing that she was caught off guard. “Dan and I had a silly argument. And I know it’s my fault but…” She yelled, “I.WILL.NOT.SAY.SORRY.FIRST!” She shrugged her shoulders.

Typical Inez. Betty laughed mentally. “So, is this the reason why we are going tonight?” She finally laughed.

“Not entirely.” She came to sit beside Betty at the bed. “I really wanted us girls to have…fun.”

Betty launched herself at Inez to hug her. After a few minutes, she pulled away as she asked, “Where are we going by the way?”

“We’re going to a restaurant for dinner.” Betty raised an eyebrow at her and narrowed her eyes, guessing there was more. Inez laughed and then brought her mouth closer to her ears to whisper, “Well, apparently that’s what our parents know. But the truth is we’re going to a club. That…” She shrugged proudly, “…allows under 18s. Daisy googled. So yes! Everything’s settled! EXCEPT YOU!” She stabbed her index finger at the side of Betty’s arm.

She couldn’t help but feel a little thrilled at the idea. She knew if she refused Inez would drag her to the club herself. Besides, it was true that it had been really long since she had fun with all of her friends, study pressure and all. So, she decided to go. “Okay!” She said, faking annoyance.

“If you fake that expression again, the next thing I’m throwing at your face is your shoes.” Inez replied nonchalantly.

Betty stuck out her tongue at Inez as she got up to change into the outfit.

They went to the club in Emma’s car, well, her father’s car. When the car was parked, Inez addressed all of them as she said, “Girls! It’s our day. We can do whatever the hell we want. Just remember that we can’t be drunk as we have to drive home. Besides, we can’t get caught by our parents.” She rolled her eyes. “But, a little bit tipsy will work.”

“What about the smell?”, Betty asked and a chorus of Shit! followed by.

“I have mint gums!” said Daisy as she pulled out some mint-flavored chewing-gums from her purse. Inez patted her back as if she had just defused a bomb. Inez led the way and when she pushed the door, they were greeted by Cruel Summer and they all felt the adrenaline coursing through their veins at their little forbidden adventure. It’s gonna be a hell of a night.

Betty was having the time of her life with her friends. They were clustered in the dancefloor, grooving to the music, each of them just a little bit tipsy and a whole lot free.

She startled a little when she felt someone slightly tapping her shoulder. She turned around with questioning eyes to be met with an unfamiliar face.

She frowned at the stranger who was saying something to her but she couldn’t follow what amidst the wailing, screaming and loud music. “Sorry?” She said loud enough for him to hear.

“I’m Scott. My friends out there…” he pointed his thumb over his shoulder to where a group of boys were standing and looking at them in amusement “…dared me to ask you for a dance.” Betty’s eyebrows shot up. She heard the girls teasing her in unison, “Ooooooohhhh”. She glowered at them as they broke out in laughter.

When Scott asked her again, she realized that she didn’t yet respond. “Actually, today is my birthday.” He said and she wished him a happy birthday as a courtesy.

“Thanks” He hesitated a bit. “Listen, if I lose the dare, they’re as sure as hell gonna make me do something worse. So…”, he trailed off. “I promise I won’t get too close.” They both smiled awkwardly at that.

He seems decent. She thought to herself. It’d be rude to say no to him on his birthday. “Okay”, said she, smiling politely.

James never wanted to come to the club in the first place, because he knew how crowded it would be but as soon as he stepped in, he realized ‘crowded’ was an understatement. But it seemed like Dan had a fight with Inez and he really needed someone to cheer him up when he called him. And now that he himself already had the bitter taste of a-fight-with-girlfriend, he couldn’t help but feel sympathetic for his friend. So, there he was, sitting in the corner of a club, nursing a cocktail in his hand, while Dan was busy sulking and wallowing.

He lazily glanced over the crowd, everyone was drinking, dancing, playing pool. His eyes shot up when he spotted a face familiar enough. Is it…Betty? His brows furrowed. He was pretty sure that when he asked her to go out with him today she said that she had homework to finish. He nudged Dan slightly, who in response, shooed him away. He rolled his eyes. He got up from the tool and started to walk towards her that was an almost impossible task considering the crowd in there. He suddenly stopped in his track, surprised. No, not only her. Who’s this guy?

His ears registered the song that was currently on, Till The World Stops Turning. Her favorite song. He remembered her saying when he had asked her what her all-time favorite song was.

“Have you ever heard it?” Betty asked turning to look at him.

“Yes!”

Betty raised her eyebrows at him. “Really?”

“Okay, you got me.” He chuckled. “I don’t know this song but...” He smiled at her as he said, “…sing it for me.”

"Nope. Spotify it is.", said she, waving her hands as no.

"Sing it." He watched her cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink as she waved her hand no. “Please?” He insisted.

Betty sighed and closed her eyes as she started.

"When your well is drying up

Like a desert into dust..."

James couldn’t take his eyes off of her the whole time she sang. He couldn’t help but marvel at how beautiful she looked, eyes closed, singing her favorite song, completely lost in the words and melody. He never listened to it before, but he could see how heartfelt it was for her.

"...And I will love you till the world stops turning around"

She opened her eyes after finishing. “So…how was it?” She asked with a nervous laugh.

James cleared his throat as he said, “Well, you were more tempting than the song. But it seems like a good one.”

Betty’s heart fluttered at that. She narrowed her eyes at him and said, “You’re a dork.”

James chuckled. “Yes I am. Around you.”

“You have no idea how cheesy that sounded.” She giggled and her hands clutching her stomach, trying to keep herself grounded. She stopped when she felt James’s eyes on her, watching her dreamily, the pink of her cheeks turned a shade brighter. “What?” She breathed out.

“I will love you till the world stops turning around.” He said, pouring his heart into this one single line.

Betty stared at his glowing dark brown orbs. She searched them for any trace of uncertainty but found none. “Me too”, said she as she bridged the gap between their lips.

His hands balled into fists, his jaw clenched as he took in the scene in front of him. She’s dancing to her favorite song…with a stranger. He knew there wasn’t any intimacy between their dance but still he couldn’t help the anger and hurt, above all the insecurity rising in him. She’ll leave you eventually.

Inez saw James standing behind Betty and shouted, “Hey!” James looked at her startled. “WHAT A SURPRISE!”

Betty heard Inez’s voice and turned back. Her eyes widened at the unexpected encounter but at the same moment a huge smile spread across her lips as she saw him.

“Your boyfriend?” She heard Scott asking her as she nodded. “It’s my cue then.”, said he and they both chuckled a little at that. They waved each other goodbye and he walked over to join his friends who cheered at the birthday boy’s victory.

Betty paced towards James and hugged him as she asked, “How come?” Betty looked at him, astonished when he didn’t hug her back and pulled away almost instantly.

James looked everywhere but her as he explained. “Wait, Dan’s here too?”, asked Inez, her eyes expectant. James nodded. “He’s wallowing, Inez. At least talk to him.” James pointed at the direction where he was sitting. Inez’s face fell at the sight of him. “Excuse me guys.” She started to walk over to him, making her way through the crowd.

Betty couldn’t help but think that something was wrong with him. It wasn’t like him to pull away like this, in the least not hug her back. She noticed the stern expression on his face, his brows drawn together, jaw clenched so tightly that she could even see the muscle ticking.

She raised her finger to smooth out the crease between his brows, just like she did every time he frowned. She stopped short as James caught her wrist and lowered her hand down. Betty stared at him trying to understand why he was acting so out of character. “What’s wrong?”

“You enjoy, I gotta go.” He said and started to walk away but stopped as he felt Betty grabbing her jacket and tugging him. He turned over his shoulder to see her saying something to her friends’ ears that he couldn’t hear.

Betty gripped his arm as firmly as she could, asking him to follow her. He complied. They went to the backside of the club where the crowd and hustle-bustle were almost null. She let go off his arm as she straightened a little and crossed her arms. “That was not an ideal place to talk. So now are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” James replied, faking nonchalance.

“Still not convinced.”

“Who was he?” James blurted out. “The guy you were dancing with.”

Betty laughed and swatted his arm as she said, “Okay, so that’s why you’re mad at me!” She giggled but stopped as she felt no ease in James’s demeanor yet. “His name is Scott. Now I really don’t know more than that. His asshole friends dared him to dance with me. And we literally just danced for around a minute I think. That’s it.”

“That’s it? You were dancing to Till The World Stops Turning, your favorite song.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “With him.”

“Oh they played that song?! I didn’t quite realize.” She took a step towards him, lopped her arms around his neck, her eyes sparkling as she said, “I wish you were here then, you know.” She smiled at him. “Next time, we’ll dance to this, okay?”

He took hold of her elbows and lowered her arms from his neck. “Oh so you were so engrossed with him that you didn’t even notice the song?” He huffed incredulously. “Well then you definitely didn’t wish I was here. You said you had homework tonight?”

Betty felt nauseous. She could see where this was going. “I…I did. I had…homework.” She felt knots in her throat. “I didn’t…I…Inez dragged me here.” She felt her breathing uneven.

“Oh. Okay.”

Betty couldn’t form her words anymore. She stood there in silence, trying to form a coherent sentence. After what felt like an eternity, she spoke in her smallest voice, “He said it was his birthday and if I said no he’d be really embarrassed. So, I thought it’d be harsh to refuse him. It was just…” She averted her gaze to him and cradled his face as she tried to reassure him. “Listen, I know dancing is our thing. And trust me, dancing with you feels…euphoric. And I felt nothing with him, okay? It was just a courtesy.” She waited a little, hoping that her words would sink into him. “And now I really wish you were here with me after you said that it was Till The World Stops Turning.”

James again dropped her hands from his face and this time, Betty couldn’t bear it anymore. She raised her voice. “So what?” She waved her hands exasperatedly. “Now you’re flinching at my touch? You won’t even look at me? All this because I just danced with someone else?”

James knew she was trying to provide exactly what he needed right now, reassurance. But he was the one who wasn’t accepting because of that one single sentence. She’ll leave you eventually.  “Okay I’ll go inside and ask him if it’s really his birthday.”

Betty stared at him blankly trying to process his words, his expression, his behavior that now seemed foreign to her. “No you won’t.” She stated firmly.

James raised his eyebrow at her, his tone accusatory as he said, “Why not? What are you afraid of? You just danced with him, right? So, what’s the problem?”

“JAMES! I’m not afraid of anything because what I said is true. But the point is if you ask him this…it just means you don’t trust me enough…and that’s plain insulting to me.” She brought her hand to her temple. “What’s gotten into you tonight!”

James avoided her questions, instead he asked, “Did you really just dance with him in my absence?”

Betty couldn’t wrap her mind on what he just said. Did you really just dance with him in my absence? Did you really just dance with him in my absence? Did you really just dance with him in my absence? It kept ringing in her head like a siren.

James regretted it instantly. The sentence just rolled off his tongue before he even understood what he said. And when he did, his eyes shot to Betty as a reflex. His heart sank at the sight. She was covering her ears with her palms, her eyes squeezed shut, tears streaming down her cheeks, smearing her mascara. Her whole body was shaking as her breathing staggered. He wished he could swallow the words back. He knew it wasn’t true, he never even doubted it. “Betty…I-”

Before she even knew, her hand shot up and slapped James across his face. “Don’t you EVER dare to say my name again.” She wiped her tears away with the back of her hands. “Thanks for showing me tonight what you really think of me."

“Please, forgive-”

“I don’t wanna make a scene here. So, just…” Betty blinked rapidly to keep the newly formed tears from falling. She took deep strangled breaths as she said calmly, “James”

James’s heart started to pound loudly in his chest as she called his name. Maybe she would forgive him. He would absolutely prove to her everyday how sorry he really was and that he didn’t mean what he said. But when he heard the words that came out her mouth, he felt as if the world around him shattered.

“I think we should take a break.” She didn’t wait for his answer as she dragged her wobbly legs away and walked towards the washroom. James watched with shameful teary eyes at her retreating back, unable to move.

James was walking home with faltering steps on broken cobblestones, thinking of what he had just done. He was drunk. Drunk in misery. Drunk in grief. Drunk in hurt. Drunk in alcohol.

After Betty walked away, he went back to the club, searching through the crowd with pessimistic eyes. She's gone. He went to where he was sitting before. He saw Dan and Inez talking to each other. He hoped that at least their night would end up differently. He didn't want to disturb them. So he drank. One glass. Then two, three, four. He drank until he lost count. He drank until he couldn't remember his own name.

I think we should take a break. Part of him wanted to rush to her and beg her until she felt a thaw. But how was he supposed to do that after what he just accused her of? I didn’t mean it, Betty. The look on her face the moment he shot daggers with his words resurfaced in the back of his mind and he felt sobs wrecking his body.

His phone was ringing. He reached for his phone in his jeans pocket. Betty. He took out his phone with a pang of hope that evaporated right when he saw mom on the screen.

“Hello mom.” He tried his best to hide the hurt in his voice.

“When are you coming home?”

“I’ll stay at Dan’s tonight. Is that okay? Tomorrow is Saturday anyway.”

“Sudden plan?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry.” He hung up.

He leaned against a tree, his only support to keep him grounded now, at least physically. But what about emotionally? He couldn’t stop thinking about Betty. His knees felt weak. He didn’t realize when they finally gave up until he found himself sitting at the base of the tree. I ruined everything. Hot tears streaming down. He rubbed his hands over his face. He couldn’t breath. His eyes throbbed. His vision blurred. He couldn’t breathe. His stomach twisted and so did his heart.

He didn’t know for how long he sat there until he felt someone shaking him. He blinked a few times trying to recognize the person in front of him.

Augustine was driving home from Dorothea’s. She had to talk to someone to vent out. She still couldn’t believe that James turned her down completely. Her grip on the steering wheel tightened, recalling her earlier conversation with James.

She was about to take a turn when her eyes widened in disbelief as she saw someone familiar sitting against a tree trunk. James? She braked abruptly. She poked her head outside the car window to check if it was really James. What is he doing here?

She parked her car to the side as she alighted and hurried over to him. Her jaw dropped at his dishevelment. “James?” She shook him gently. He seemed oblivious. She kneeled in front of him and jerked him a little. “James? Can you hear me?” and it worked. He looked up finally.

He was staring at her face blankly, without even responding. She couldn’t understand what she should do right at this moment. “Why are you sitting here like this?”

Augustine waited a few moments for his reply. Her heart skipped a bit as she noticed that he was now smiling at her. But that ended just as abruptly as it came when she heard that one name she dreaded the most right now rolling off his tongue. Betty.

Oh my god! He’s hallucinating. “No James. I’m Augustine.” She tried to clear his misunderstanding.

“Betty, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” He said, clutching her dress for dear life.

Augustine noticed how his voice slurred. Oh God, how much drunk is he?! She brought her nose near to his mouth to confirm her already obvious suspicion, the strong smell of alcohol enveloped her. She tried to break free of his hold only to feel his grip tighten more.

She froze as she felt James brushing her lips with his. “I’m sorry.” He kept on saying. Augustine felt like she just lost all of herself in the mere brush of their lips. But it wasn’t right. She tried to pull back as James held her face between his palms and cradled it. “Please don’t leave me, please. Please…please…please…” She heard him mumbling as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Before she could even react James’s lips were on hers, kissing her with desperation. He tasted of alcohol, salt and grief. She knew she should pull away but she was drowning…deep down the ocean. This is wrong. He doesn’t love you. He thinks you’re her. She ignored the voices in her head. She was already far gone. She kissed him back. She knew tomorrow he’d be sober and regret this forever. But right now she didn’t have it in herself to pull away from this kiss. He was drunk and so was she, drunk in him.

She panted when James broke the kiss and rested his forehead on hers. “Believe me, Betty, I didn’t mean any of it. I wasn’t thinking through.” His words tumbled over.

“Let’s drive.” She rasped out. James fumbled with his steps but somehow managed to launch himself in the passenger seat as Augustine settled in the driver’s seat and drove away.

Augustine couldn’t think straight. One taste of his lips and she felt drugged. She didn’t know exactly where he lived. “Your address, James?” She asked him a few times but the only answers she got from him were sorry and don’t leave. So, she gave up and headed to her home instead.

She took the backdoor to eliminate any chance of getting caught while sneaking in with a boy. She tiptoed to her room and instructed James to do the same who failed miserably. Her heart thumped in panic that her parents might wake up.

She made him sit on the bed, “Sit here.” She was about to lock the door when she felt James’s hand wrapping around her waist from behind, pulling her close to him, his nose nuzzling the crook of her neck. She felt goosebumps raising over her whole body. She tilted her head back as a reflex, giving him better access unintentionally. The voices in her head booed her for being so weak.

She finally gathered herself and turned back clumsily. “James, are you listening to me?” She felt his head nodding, still buried in her neck. “You need sleep, James.”

James shook her head no that caused his lips to slide against the skin of her shoulder. “I need you. Please, don’t go. We don't need a break. I can't stay away from you, Betty. Please don't do this to me.”, he slurred.

Soon Augustine felt him peppering kisses all over her shoulders and neck, trailing towards her jaw. Her hands involuntarily tangled themselves in his hair. His lips on her skin felt like an addiction. A dangerously sweet addiction. What do I do now? His lips were on hers now. This needs to stop. A shudder travelled all the way down to her spine as she felt him lowering the zipper of her dress. No, no, no, no, no, no.

All her resolve melted away as she felt him caressing her bare thighs with his hands. Her head was spinning, her eyelids fluttered, her breathing ragged. She didn’t realize when her dress was discarded and pooled at her feet. She gripped his shirt tightly to help her keep standing when her legs were about to give up. He seemed to misunderstand the signal and threw his shirt over his head. She rushed in to clarify, her voice raspy, “No, no, no, no, I didn’t mean to-”

Her words were cut short as James grabbed her thighs suddenly and lifted her up, keeping her pressed against him. She moaned as their bare skin came in contact. At this point, they both were beyond their minds. She understood that no words would be able to talk sense to him right now. But for the last time, she whispered into his ears, knowing fully well that he wouldn’t give her a sensible answer. “Are you sure?” She didn’t know how much time had already passed as she heard his breathy voice, “Never have I ever before…” and her whole being exploded like fireworks.

 This song is a masterpiece. Here's the link: Till The World Stops Turning by Kaleb Jones

Chapter Text

The first rays of sunlight, peeking through the curtains, caused James to groan and bury his head deeper into the pillow. He opened his eyes and glanced around. Where am I? He sat up straight and instantly felt the killer headache tearing his brain out.

He fell back on the bed, unable to sit up anymore. He threw his arm unconsciously to his side and his heart raced at the unexpected contact. He stared wide-eyed at the blonde figure twisted in bedsheets.

Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. He felt a shudder running down his spine. His heart was now pounding so loudly he feared that it might come out of his ribcage. He propped himself on his elbows and saw that the floor was scattered with clothes, his and…Am I…why am I naked?

He got down from the bed and his head spun, reminding him of the headache. He quickly put on the jeans and threw the shirt over. He sat on the floor, holding his head, trying to recall what the hell happened yesternight. He could remember scraps of it. I went to the club. With Dan. He tried to focus more. Betty was there too. She was dancing. With me. He stiffened instantly. No, not with me.

He remembered the anger he felt after seeing her on the dancefloor with some other guy. He remembered how she tried to reassure him but he took none. Did you really just dance with him in my absence? He felt like his heart wasn’t even beating anymore. Oh my god! Why did I say this to her! The first sob of the day escaped his mouth, his mind drifting back to Betty. I think we should take a break. He tried his best not memorize the heartbroken look on her face at that time.

He pressed himself more and ran his hands through his hair in agitation, feeling helpless for not remembering, his head throbbing. Damn this headache…His eyes snapped open in realization. This headache! Hangover! I was drunk. Oh god, how much did I drink?

He tried to remember more. He recalled walking home, his mom’s call, crying sitting against a tree, someone shaking him…Betty! She was there. She drove me to…where? It’s not her room. He glanced over the room again, scouring his mind for a hint of recognition but to his disappointment, found none. We kissed. No, we didn’t just kiss. We did a lot more than that. He could blurrily picture tits and bits of their passionate rendezvous. His lips carved a small smile.

It didn’t last long though. His mouth gaped as soon as he recalled a small detail. But betty is brunette and the girl in the bed…no, no, no, no. And like a switch had been flicked on suddenly, all the pieces started to fall into places. Augustine.

What the fuck did I do! It can’t be- He wanted to remember everything but now he wished he could forget the whole night that wasn’t even possible anymore. The dual feeling made his headache even more magnified. Or are you scared that you might give in to her?

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” He shook his head, clutching it with his hands. “It hurts! Stop!”, he kept on saying.

Augustine woke up as James’s voice invaded her sleep. Why do mornings always come? Why was it not possible to live in a single night over and over again? Cause in her head, it was perfect, it was all she wanted, James. She didn’t want the reality to unfold. She didn’t want to confront James who would surely regret each and every moment. And why wouldn’t he? He was drunk. But she wasn’t. Why did I let that happen?

Her gaze followed the direction from where the sound of sobs was coming and she spotted James, kneeling on the floor, his hands gripping his hair so tightly that it must be painful. She flinched as she took in the state James was in. “James”, she called him but he didn’t respond.

She wrapped the sheet around her and made a knot at the center of her chest, securing it to place. She got up and walked over him. She stooped down and placed her hand on his shoulder, giving a gentle shake as she called him again.

He looked up at her and instantly tore his gaze away. One look at her face and it made him want to crawl out of his skin. “I’m so extremely sorry. For everything. I didn’t mean it to-” James trailed off, closing his eyes, his head ducked down in shame. He didn’t know how to finish it anyway.

“You didn’t mean it to happen. None of it.” She winced at her own words. “Trust me, I know.” She didn’t wait for his reply as padded across the floor, collected her clothes, rolled them together and dumped them at the laundry bag. She walked over to the closet, took out a top and pajamas and went to the bathroom, closing the door shut.

She leaned against the door and almost immediately dropped to the ground, drawing her knees closer to her chest, burying her head between as tears rolled down her cheeks and she made no attempt to stop them.

She didn’t know for how long she sat there, until she felt cold. The tears had dried up, there was no more left to be shed. She headed to the shower. The stream of lukewarm water cascaded down her frame as she silently, desperately hoped that it would remove the lingering touches of James from her body. She showered endlessly, not wanting to see James again. How ironic that days ago she was ready to fight tooth and nail for James love her back, but now she herself didn’t want to face him. Wanting was enough. For me, it was enough. She stunned at her own thoughts. She sighed. Maybe it was better that way, maybe it was better to live for the hope of it all.

She dried herself, put on her clothes, wrapped her hair with a towel and walked out of the bathroom. Her eyes searched the room for James but he was already gone. She felt panicky as she contemplated the possibility of him coming across her parents but that ceased when she spotted the window open. He took the window.

James sat there on the floor for God knows how long, flipping over his mind what he should say to Betty and Augustine. He shook himself out of his stupor when he heard muffled cried coming from the direction of the bathroom. She deserved better than to be your rebound. He couldn’t bear it any longer. He stood up, walked over to the window and pushed it open and climbed down.

He walked to his house, stopping once to buy some ibuprofen and a water bottle the he gulped down on the road, unable to wait anymore.  Once home, he went straight to his room and dropped himself on the bed, holding his head with his hands and dozed off to sleep.

“It’s already 10! Get up now.” She heard her mom wailing and knocking at the door. “I’m up.” She said, now fully awake. She felt like choking as she recalled the affairs of previous night. I slapped him. She pulled her sleep-messed hair and tied them to a bun. I shouldn’t have done that. But then again, she remembered his exact words, the insult, the incredulity in his voice. He was insecure. I need to talk to him.

She took her phone and dialed him. No one answered. Please, James, pick up. She hoped silently. She dialed again, still nothing. She sighed and went to brush her teeth.

Betty startled a little when she stepped out of her bathroom and saw Inez sitting on her bed. “Still mad at Dan?”

“No. no. it’s not-” Inez shook her head. “We’re good.”

“Then why so glum?”

“I’m sorry I dragged you to the club.” Inez said in her smallest voice. She didn’t know what happened between Betty and James there as she was engrossed in her own issue with Dan but she could absolutely sense that something had definitely gone wrong. She saw Betty when she came out of the washroom, her eyes swollen, red even. No trace of makeup in her face. She looked jagged. The entire drive home, she noticed how Betty didn’t utter a single word, didn’t laugh at jokes, all she did was staring outside, resting her head against the car window. So, after breakfast, Inez couldn’t just sit in her home. So she came to check on Betty, though a phone call would’ve worked, but she wanted to see her. “I shouldn’t have-”

Betty cut her off as she said, “Actually, I really had fun before it went all…you know…downhill.” Though it was true, if she wouldn’t go the club, all of this could be avoided in the first place. But she also knew it was not Inez’s fault. Not at all. “And if you say sorry for something that’s not your fault…” She joked, “…I have to find your replacement.” They laughed cause both of them knew, it meant the opposite.

Betty was telling her something about some Vancouver Sleep Clinic, a new artist she found out recently but Inez couldn’t concentrate on her. Her mind kept drifting back to what she was on her way to Betty’s home. She knew she had to tell Betty about this but she didn’t know how. Not after knowing what it would do to her.

“You’re not listening.” Betty could feel Inez distant. “Look, if you’re worried about me, then don’t be. I’m fine.” She paused as Inez looked at her with questioning eyes. “Well, not entirely, but I will be.”

Inez nodded. I should tell her. She finally gathered her courage and said, “Betty, I wanna tell you something.”

“Finally! I know you can’t keep things hidden from me.” She giggled but stopped abruptly as she noticed there was nothing amusing in Inez’s features. She looked stern, stiff, her bubbliness vanished. So unlike Inez.

“On my way here, I saw James.” Inez blurted out.

“Okay?” Betty felt concerned. How is he? She took her phone and checked if there was any call or text from him, though she already assumed there would be none. Betty folded her hands and rested them at her lap, bracing herself for something terrible as she said, “I’m starting to feel really scared, Inez. Just get on with it.”

Inez stayed silent.

“TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!” Betty couldn’t control anymore, she screamed in terror, not bothering if her mom heard. “DID HE HAVE AN ACCIDENT OR WHAT!”

“No. No.” Inez said instantly as she shook head.

Betty said with frustration, “Look, Inez, if you really wanna tell me, then just say it. I’m already in a really shitty situation and YOU are making it shittier here. So, if you-”

“I saw James, coming out of Augustine’s room. By window. This morning. Disheveled.” Inez mumbled.

Betty quivered at the mention of Augustine. “Just another rumor, right?”

Inez sighed. “I said I saw. I saw him.”

Are you scared that you might give in to her? Her own words mocked her. Did you really just dance with him in my absence? She flinched. Is this why he blamed me? So that he could date August- She didn’t dare to finish the thought. Her insecurity came rushing back, waves after waves. No, no, no, don’t jump to conclusions. She rummaged through her mind. Even if you were, you’d still be my favorite. She could almost taste the love in his words. Just know that my love for you is stronger than your anxiety. She could almost savor the deliciousness of his reassurance. It’s a rumor. It has to be.

Inez stared at Betty with concern in her eyes. She scoured her vocabulary to find something that would soothe her friend but at the end decided that it was silence that she needed right now.

Betty picked up her phone and dialed James again, this time it was switched off. She looked at Inez. “I’ll meet him.”

Inez feared if she had the ability right now to walk to his house. “Are you sure you can-”

She was interrupted as Betty said, “I’m sure.”

Betty rang the doorbell thrice already, at intervals, but no one answered. She tried the doorknob, without any luck. She tried once more and waited. Nothing. She turned on her heels and was about to leave when she heard the screeching of the door.

James heard the doorbell, but intentionally ignored. He didn’t feel enough energetic to get up from bed. But when the visitor grew incessant, he had to unlock that damn door. Though she had her back towards him, he faced no difficulty to recognize. Betty. He couldn’t distinguish his feelings right now. A part of him felt relieved after seeing her. A part of him felt sick to stomach after his drunken mistake kicked in. A part of him wanted to run to her and pull her into his arms. But then again, another part of him wanted to push her away, cause she deserved better than this. She deserves better than a cheater boyfriend. She deserves better than me.

Betty gathered every ounce of strength she possessed and turned to James who was looking at her with a face so fallen that her heart twisted in her delicate ribcage.

They stood where they were, the little distance between felt like never ending miles, staring at each other with longing, their eyes speaking a language of their own, not bothering if their heart broke or brain warned.

The honking of a car broke them out of their stupor. Betty released a shaky breath and tore her gaze away as she said “May I?” and pointed inside with her index finger.

James’s stiffened instantly and swallowed the lump in his throat that he didn’t realize had formed. “Yeah, yeah.” He stepped back, making room for her entrance. “Sure. Come in.”

Betty walked over to his room hesitatingly. “Where’s Uncle and Auntie?”

“To some relative’s place.”

Betty nodded, as she stood in the middle of his room, looking down at her feet, just to avoid eye contact with James who was still staring at her with those dark brown eyes that made her knees weak.

The silence grew unbearable as she hoped desperately for James to say something. She finally gave up. “I called.” She paused for a moment. “Multiple times.”

I know. “I was in the bathroom then probably, I didn’t check my phone thereafter.” He lied.

Then again, a deafening silence. “I’m sorry for what I said.” And what I did. James said.

Betty squeezed her eyes shut, remembering his words, as sharp as a knife and the pain it inflicted. “I really just danced.” She said in her smallest voice, still not meeting his gaze. “That too for less than a minute probably.”

James winced in pain, understanding how big he really screwed up. “I know, Betty. I know.” He ran his hand through his hairs, as shame crept in. “I don’t know what happened to me then. I just saw you. And the guy. You two were dancing and then I focused on the song. I was furious that I wasn’t the one you were dancing with to your favorite song. Then I remembered earlier that morning Augustine told me you’ll leave me eventually and I got scared and I overreacted and I-”

“Augustine told you what?” She asked as her eyes shot up to him, her facial features contorted in disgust. “She told you that I’ll leave you?”

James nodded.

“When?”

“Yesterday morning. At school. When I went to say that I can’t help her.”

“And you believed it?” Betty asked but it came out more like a statement without her consent.

“No! Of course not!” James reached for her arm instinctively but immediately pulled away, not sure if she would allow that.

“I’m-” Betty swallowed that hurt choking her voice. “I’m sorry that I slapped you. I shouldn’t have…shouldn’t have done that.”

James let out the shortest self-mocking laugh. “Trust me, I’m happy that you did.” I deserve much much more than just a slap, Betty.

Betty played with the idea of confronting him about Augustine.

James laughed silently at the irony of this situation. There was never silence between them, even if there was, it was comforting, but now it was suffocating. “Can you forgive me?” James asked with hopeful watery eyes, knowing fully well, even if she did, he would never forgive himself.

Betty knew if she looked at him right now she’d break down right then and there. She kept her eyes fixed on the ground purposely as she asked “Where were you yesterday night?”

The question hung in the air as thick as honey. James’s started to beat so loudly that he could the pounding. He knew he should tell her the truth but he just didn’t know how. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He tried over and over again. Still unable to force the words out. Chase two girls, lose the one. His inner voice laughed at him.

“Were you at Augustine’s?”

James knew he was at loss of words, so he forced himself to nod instead.

“The entire night?” Asked Betty. He nodded again.

She could see what was coming, she wasn’t naïve. She knew she wouldn’t be able to handle herself if what she was thinking was true. But she needed to hear it from him. She whispered so low that she wasn’t even sure if he heard it. “How close were you?”

James couldn’t help the tears now rolling down freely from his eyes but he still stared at her. He wanted to take in everything that was Betty as he feared it might be the last time. “I was drunk, terribly drunk.” A sob escaped him. “I was there. On the road. I couldn’t see clearly and I was thinking about how I screwed up everything. And she came. I thought it was you. Trust me, I thought it was you, Betty.” He emphasized.

“How close were you?”, Betty asked again. Her foolish lovesick heart tried to shove positivity in her but her pragmatic brain waved a red flag. A warning to brace herself.

“I…I…” James slammed his eyes shut, rubbing his hands all over his face and neck. When he opened his eyes, he only saw a pair of teary blue eyes staring back at him. He moved his head, looking at his side as he forced the words out “I slept with her.”

A teardrop ripped open her resistance and broke free. Then another one, and another, and within seconds she was crying. There were no sobs, no staggered breathing, no shakiness, as if she went numb. I slept with her. The words seemed to echo in the room as all she could hear was them. She thought she just passed out as all she could see was darkness. She thought maybe the temperature had fallen suddenly cause all she could feel was withering coldness.

She didn’t know when she sat at the edge of the bed until she felt something soaking through the fabric of her jeans, near her thigh. She blinked to focus and saw James kneeled in front of her, his head resting on top of her thigh. She could feel he was saying something but couldn’t register what.

James watched Betty the whole time, she was looking right back at him but it was as if she couldn’t see him. He had never seen her so wrecked. She looked like a thousand storms had passed right through her, leaving her disoriented. He wanted to hold her, pull her to his chest, but couldn’t. He restrained himself from reaching out for as long as he could. But when he saw her legs wobble and were almost on the verge of giving up, he couldn’t stop. He paced over to her and lifted her up, placing her on the bed.

He kneeled in front of her and cradled her face as he said sorry so many times that it seemed it was the only word he knew. But she didn’t respond but stared at him as reckless tears were making their way out of her eyes. His stomach churned at her condition. He dropped his hands limply from her face to his side as his face fell on top her right thigh, his own tears gushing through, spreading over her jeans.

Betty stood up abruptly, holding the headboard for support. She didn’t know if it was a trick of her mind or reality, but she suddenly felt her lungs constricting, so she took a steady deep breath.

James strode to her and took her face in his palms, cradling it, forcing her to look into his eyes as he desperately begged her, “Please, forgive me.” She was always an open book to him. He was always able to tell what she was thinking by the emotions swimming in her eyes. But today, it felt foreign. He felt like he forgot the language of her eyes. “Please, Betty. Don’t leave me.” He pleaded repeatedly.

“At the end, Peter lost Wendy I guess.” She said with a faint smile.

“No! No! You’re wrong!” James screamed helplessly. “I love you. Trust me, I do.” He wanted her to see through his eyes as he was sure there was nothing but honesty in his statement. So he tilted her head with his palm trying to make eye contact but Betty closed her eyes.

She leaned into his touch instinctively just for a second before dropping his hands from her face. She knew it was the end of their fairytale.

He cupped her face again. “Hey, please, look at me…open your eyes, Betty. Believe me just once! I love you and only you. And I know you love me too. Just give me a second chance. I will make this right. I will patch your broken wings, I promise.” He punctuated his sentences by placing gentle kisses all over her face. He knew he was anguished, desperate. He knew he was clinging on to the last shred of hope though he could see none. He could sense she was about to let go. She was about to shut him off. She has already started to build sky-high walls around her. “Please…please don’t do this.” He dropped his forehead on hers as he begged, please rolling off of his tongue like a litany.

She freed herself from his hold. “I want to go home.” She said, rubbing her hands over her face, trying to erase his kisses he just placed.

She reached the door when she felt James holding her arm lightly as he said, “At least let me drive you.” She wriggled her arm out his grip as she turned back. She took a breath, enough to let the words out “James. We are over.” and walked out his house.

James stood watching as she left, him room, his house, his porch and him. He slammed the door shut, taking out the anger he felt for himself to the innocent door and dropped to the ground. I ruined us.

“You have school, Betty!” Her mom shouted from downstairs. Betty opened her eyes still heavy from sleep and sat up. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her mind. Monday. School. Means I have to see James.

She dropped her legs to the floor and headed to take a shower, expecting it to drain away her anxiety. But it too, betrayed her. Just like James. Walking towards her closet, she rummaged through her clothes to find her uniform. Where the hell I kept the bloody uniform. She started to take out her clothes and threw them over her shoulder one by one.

Her hand fell over one of her t-shirts. She was about throw it too when the realization set in. His Vintage Tee. James. She paused, clutching the fabric tighter. She stared at it with unfocused eyes. She leaned in slowly, tried to breathe in it with the hope of smelling the scent that was all James. I have to return it. She shoved it into her bag. After a minute of more closet-combing, she found her uniform and hastily put it on, tied her hair in a ponytail, took her bag and went downstairs to join her family for breakfast.

The first thing she did after entering school was to go straight to the office. “Excuse me. May I come in?”

“Come in.” The staff said, without looking up from the computer screen.

“I want to change my homeroom.” The first step of moving on, she thought.

James and Betty had their homerooms face-to-face, which at first was a co-incident. But when they got together, they both thought why not take the full advantage. So, they chose a position closer to the doors where they both would be able to steal glances at each other. “Lovestruck idiots”, Inez used to say and she used to roll her eyes but now she mocked herself. Truly an idiot.

James settled himself in his usual position in the homeroom, looking towards the door, counting moments for Betty to arrive. When he finally saw her, his lips curled into a smile, just like every time they did at the sight of her, except it wasn’t short-lived back then. The smiled faltered as Betty walked past her homeroom.

He stood up and was about to walk away from the door but stopped short as the teacher entered. He reluctantly kept himself seated, waiting for the session to be over. Once over, not wasting another second, he strode out, his eyes searching for Betty. He halted when he found her. He waited outside the door, waited for her to walk out.

Betty could see James standing at the side of the door. She delayed getting out, making small talk with her classmates. But when there was no alternative left, she sighed and walked over to the door. She wanted to pace fast, but her legs didn’t oblige her wish. She pretended not to see James and walked past him.

James winced at her purposed ignorance. “You changed your homeroom.” He stated, the hurt clear in his voice.

Betty stopped in her track and he slowly walked towards her. She cursed herself mentally as she turned back, facing James. She didn’t realize when he stood behind. “Yes I did.” She said with as much nonchalance as she could muster.

Cause of me. He thought but said, “Why?”

She looked at him silently, trying to maintain a neutral expression. She slid her arm off the strap of her bag and unzipped it, pulled out James’s tee and stretched her hand out in front of him.

James’s eyes flicked between his tee and Betty’s face.

James was seated on his bed, his hands resting on the pillow at his lap as Betty was padding across the floor, in her three-quarter jeans and bra. James couldn’t help but marvel at how adorable she was looking right now, her brows drawn together, lips flattened into a line, her arms folded around her middle, her hair swinging with her pace.

“Stop staring at me!”

James nodded and bit the inside of his cheeks to stifle the laughter.

Betty glowered at him as she yelled, “You don’t even look guilty!”

He broke down laughing, so hard that he fell on the bed on his back.

“Stop laughing at me!”

“I’m sorry.” he said amidst his chuckles.

“Well, you don’t look sorry!” Betty walked closer to him and stabbed her index finger in the air, pointing at him as she continued, “If YOU…weren’t in such a make-out haste, then my shirt buttons wouldn’t be scattering on the floor right now!” She waved her hands exasperatedly. “What do I wear now? How am I supposed to go home!”

James knew if he laughed again, his death was sure. He used every ounce of restrain he possessed and calmed down. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Betty’s waist and pulled her closer as he said, “Wear one of my tees.” He dropped a chaste kiss on her shoulder and walked over to his closet, took out his vintage tee and gave it to her.

Betty stared at him with surprised eyes. “You know my mom’s gonna notice that this is not mine, right?” She scoffed at him.

“Then head back when she’ll be outside.”

Betty looked at the wall-clock hanging in his room and calculated mentally. “Good idea.”

She was about to slip the tee over her head when James caught her wrist. “Until then…” He took it from her grip and threw it aside, “…you won’t need it.”

She didn’t realize when her back hit the bed already. “Wait, wait, wait.” She pushed him off of her slightly, placing her hands on his chest. She shivered at his lust-darkened eyes staring back at her. “Do I have to return it?” She watched as James raised an eyebrow. She made her best puppy-eyes as she pleaded, “Please?”

James chuckled at how she turned a lust-hazed moment so playful and adorable. “Keep it.”

“You’re the best!” She beamed and looped her arms around his neck as she lifted her head slightly and placed a quick peck on his lips. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He laughed and covered her smiling lips with his, their smiles melting into each other.

“I thought you want to keep it permanently.” He asked, hurt dripping from his voice.

“Wrong. I wanted to keep it.” She shoved the tee into his hand, turned on her heels and disappeared into her next classroom.

James watched again as she walked away. It was like a broken record, the same buzzing noise replaying itself over and over again.

“Do you have a minute?” James asked to Augustine who was sitting with her friends.

Augustine stilled completely at this unexpected visit…well, somehow expected. She glanced over her friends, looking at her in disbelief. Cause yes, she didn’t tell them. She excused herself and asked James to follow her. “Yes?”, she said as she reached a spot away from prying ears.

He said earnestly, “Look, I’m really really sorry for the way I acted that night.” He flinched at the memories. “Betty broke up with me and…well, she’s been quite clear that there’s no chance of us anymore. So…I literally used you. I was drunk…though it doesn’t justify my actions but…tell me what I should do for you to forgive me.”

He paused and forced the words out, “I know you like me and you tried to get into me and Betty…don’t get me wrong…I’m not blaming you for anything…it’s absolutely my fault, I know.” He continued, hoping her answer would be no. “So if the only way to repay you is to being in a relationship with you, I’m also ready to-”

“No.” Augustine said firmly, cutting him off. She listened his entire speech attentively but couldn’t wait anymore. “I don’t want that.”

“I’m pretty sure you wanted that really bad…just a few days ago.” He said matter-of-factly.

Augustine voice raised on its own as she said, “Yes I did. And you’re right. You know why? Cause I love you.” She let out a small deride laugh. “God! Do you have any idea how many plans I cancelled…in case…just in case you’d call? Do you know how long I wanted to taste the feeling of saying us? How I fantasized about meeting you secretly behind the mall?” She scolded the tears forming in her eyes silently. “All these…because maybe…maybe…someday you’ll love me back. I wanted you to love me James, not to be with me out of some…obligation. It was just a sex, more of a drunken mistake from your part. You don’t need to play saint.”

James opened her mouth to say something but paused as Augustine raised her hand, signaling him to stop.

“When you kissed me…” She winced in hurt. “…you thought I was Betty and I immediately realized that it was a lost cause to get you to love me. Cause you could never. Lord! You even love her so fucking much that you literally hallucinated her out of grief. You mistook me for Betty. We even have different hair color.” She laughed hysterically.

“And you know the funniest part?” She took deep breaths to calm her agitated nerves as she said in her smallest voice “She didn’t even break up with you that night. But now she did. And I can’t even imagine how you’re gonna be.”

She stopped and looked at James whose head was ducked down. “James”, she called him and he looked up at her with guilty eyes. I wanted to see love in these eyes, James, not guilt. She said calmly, “I don’t want to be with someone who’ll sleep next to me, but think of someone else all along.”

She swallowed back the hurt, the pain, the heartbreak and started walking away, her heart writhing in her chest. Never compromise yourself. She reminded herself. What is love if not returned?

James had been tossing and turning his phone since 12 midnight. He lost count how many times he typed ‘Happy Birthday’ and then erased it. It was almost at 3 in the morning when backspace won over send button, he tossed his phone aside and tried to sleep. Thirteen days since they broke up. He tried to contact her many times, called her, texted her but everything he did was dumped in her ignorance pile. Even in school, she ignored him and so eventually he stopped, not wanting to disrespect her choice. But he missed her. He missed her sparkly blue eyes that would rival the bluest sky, the feel of her in his arms, the taste of her lips, the electrifying effect of her touch. He even missed her chattering, giggles, whining, pouting- everything.

Betty was showered with birthday wishes. Her ears were still buzzing from the loudest ‘Happy Birthday’ from Inez through phone. Her mom and dad came to her room sharp at 12 with her favorite home-made chocolate cake. Half an hour later, they left and she was once again alone in her room, staring at the phone, waiting for that one text to pop up. Her heart pounded when James’s chat showed ‘typing…’ but sank when nothing came. She knew she shouldn’t expect that but she did anyway. I broke up. He cheated me. She sighed. But he was drunk and thought it was me. She remembered when he said that to her and she searched his eyes, but without honesty and guilt, there was nothing more.

Betty didn’t want any party this year, but Inez being Inez, plotted with her mom to organize a small party in her garden with only her parents and handful of friends. And when she saw her mom had already bought a dress for her, she couldn’t say no. So she put on the forest green maxi dress, the backless bodice hugged her beautifully and from her waist, it went down freely. She parted her hair at the left side, tossed her hair around her right shoulder, securing the other side with bobby-pins. She kept her makeup in the shades of nude and finished her look with two tiny sparkling white stoned earrings that would glisten in the moonlight.

James had been fiddling with the idea of directly going to her birthday party all day. When the evening came he grew reckless as ever. He remembered how he used to pass her house, riding his skateboard. She would wait standing near her bedroom window and they would throw each other flying kisses. But the day after their break up when he passed her house, wanting to just catch a glimpse of her by chance, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t even waiting by the window.

He had been planning for weeks how to get her to forgive him cause it was killing him, and a selfish part of him thought that maybe it was killing her too. What will happen if I show up at her party? He questioned himself. Will she lead me to the garden? Will she tell me to go fuck myself? He checked the time on his wall-clock. It’s now or never. He got up, threw over his denim shirt and jeans, took out the gift he wanted to give her and started to drive.

“You guys ruined my face!” Betty whined as her friends laughed at her cake-smeared face. “I need to clean it.” She walked out of the garden and headed to her front porch to go into the bathroom and wipe the cream off of her face. She stilled when she heard the voice she wanted to hear calling her.That must be in my head. She thought and without turning back, continued to walk. But she was proven wrong when she felt the same familiar gentle grip on her wrist and her whole world narrowed down to one single name. James.

Adrenaline coursed through his veins as James turned her to face him. Back then, he would’ve laughed at the condition of her face, but he simply stared at her with a weak smile, laced with hurt. He took out his handkerchief from his pocket and started to wipe off the cream of her face.

Betty stiffened and her breathing grew ragged. There was no intimacy in wiping off cream from someone’s face, but it felt like the most intimate she’d even been with James. She was shocked at her train of thoughts. She should’ve been mad, angry. But instead, she wanted to live in this moment. She tried to compose herself and said, “Why are you-”

“Shhh” James shushed her. “Just…” He swallowed his grief. “Please give me this moment.” He carried on the task in his hand.

She could hear the drumming of her own heart.

“I’m sorry I came, knowing you don’t want me here. But I couldn’t miss your birthday.” He smiled tenderly at her. “You know my finals will be over in a month and I’ll be off to college anyway, so you don’t have to face me in school anymore. Besides, I’ve decided to move to Washington and apply in university there. So…” He said cheerily though his heart broke into pieces, “…you don’t ever have to see me again.”

You can go anywhere you want. Betty wondered why this sentence didn’t come to her mind, instead she wanted him to stay.

“You broke up. And why wouldn’t you? I did cheat on you after all.” He let out a short laugh as if mocking himself. “I’m not here to convince you to forgive me or give me a chance. But believe me, the worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you.” He finished wiping and tossed the handkerchief to the trash-can aside. “I just wanted to give you something.”

She stared at him, her sparkling blue eyes, now foggy as he walked over to his car, lifted something up from the passenger seat and then came back.

James was holding a scrapbook for her that she took with shaky hands. “I want you to have this.” He said, glancing down at the scrapbook. “I’ve been making this for your birthday, so you should have it.”

Betty was now almost unconsciously clutching it to her chest.

“Now if you want throw it or tear it up, it’s absolutely fine. But just don’t do that in front of me, okay?” He chuckled dryly and a teardrop fell from his left eye. He leaned in closer to kiss her lips as a habit, but paused an inch away and placed a tender kiss on her cheek as he said, “Happy Birthday” and walked back to his car.

Betty’s eyes slid close and a shaky breath escaped her at the feel of his lips on her cheek for the first time in weeks. But when she opened them, James had already ignited the engine and before she could comprehend, he was already driving. She stared as he drove away.

It was almost midnight when she was on her bed after changing into her nightdress. Her eyes fell on the scrapbook that James gave her. She placed it on her lap and stared at the beautifully handwritten Happy Birthday  in the front page. Her heart fluttered as she turned the page.

Loads of her candid photos came into show, most of which are beyond embarrassing. Photos of her on the beach from that day, their weekend outings. Some of them were of taken in his room, whereas some were even snapped in her room when they were together. One had her holding an entire ice-cream tub in her hand as she was mouthing the content with a spoon, eyes closed in bliss. She couldn’t even fathom when he clicked all of them.

There was a picture of her and James from the prom night while they were dancing, staring at each other. How did he get that photo? Below that there was written, “Did you remember the song we were singing together? Falling For You. I never told you this before but I meant each and every word of the song that night.” She smiled, her mind reminiscing.

The next one was them from Dorothea’s party. She was gulping down her shot, her brows pinched together and nose wrinkled as James was smiling at her dreamily, holding his shot in his hand. “Inez clicked this at the party and teased me for days that I’m whipped for you. Well, she’s right.” She chuckled.

She turned the next four pages containing their selfies and photos together as she read the captions with rapt attention, her smile widening.

The last picture was a solo of her. She was lying on the green grass, her eyes closed, her lips curled into a small smile, her hands folded, resting on her stomach, her hair circling around her head like a brown-halo, the setting-sun casting a warm golden glow on her face. If she didn’t know it was her, she would’ve envied the girl in the photo for looking so angelic. She realized when it was taken, the last time they went out before all these, a picnic in the middle of nowhere with sandwiches. Her eyes fell on the caption, the longest.

“I never intended to snap this photo cause no camera would do justice to how mesmerizing you were looking. But I had to. You were so peaceful that I wanted the time to stop and stare at you for eternity and marvel in the feeling of being able to call you mine...” Her eyes watered.

“…You once asked me why I love you but I couldn’t answer properly, cause I didn’t know how to say what I feel. But now I know. I love you cause it’s you…” The tears finally broke free but she wiped them hastily so that they wouldn’t crinkle pages.

“…And if you ever doubt that, then let me tell you, I love you as much as you love chocolate ice-cream. Now you have a pretty much idea, right?” She chuckled.

“…we’ve been together for only a month and half. But it feels like forever. And I want this to last forever. Cause I’m sure, now that I finally know how it feels have you, I cannot imagine what life is without you. Happy Birthday, Betty. Have a beautiful, thrilling, enticing life. With or without me.”

Betty slammed it shut and covered her face with her hands as tears rolled down her cheeks. Not bothering to wipe them off, she reached for her phone and dialed James.

James was lying on his bed, his arm resting on his forehead as he stared up at the ceiling, feeling vacant. He startled when his phone buzzed. He reached over and his eyes widened at the unexpected call.

“Hey…”

Betty’s voice almost choked as she said, “Can you…can you meet me now?”

James’s brows furrowed in concern as he asked, “Are you crying?” He heard nothing but her sobs. “Hey, why are you crying?”

“Can you meet me?” She repeated, ignoring his question.

“It’s almost 1am. Are you sure you want to-”

“Yes I am. Just tell me if you can?”

“Yeah...yeah…” He hesitated a bit as he said, “I think I can sneak out.”

“Okay then, come to my house and call me once you’re here.” She hung up, leaving a very confused James on the other side.

Betty stood by the window after changing into the first top and jeans her hands reached. She saw his car approaching and walked out of her room, tip-toed to the door. She unlocked the door with the minimum screech and headed to his car.

James looked at his side to see Betty already walking towards him. “I was just about to call you.” He said meekly and she settled herself in the passenger’s seat. James asked her confusingly, “Where do you wanna go?”

Betty looked at him and his heart fluttered at finally seeing her smiling at him. He knew. He instantly knew she had forgiven him cause he could read it in her eyes. He easily returned her smile, the first genuine smile he had in weeks.

“Where it all started.” She said. And James knew perfectly well what she meant.

They drove the way in silence. James stopped at the street where they first kissed each other.

It felt like the first time all over again, the anticipation, the longing, the feeling of finally being able to kiss each other after a long long time. The only difference was it wasn’t raining today.

Betty glanced at him with teary eyes, staring directly into his eyes as she said, “Tell me now if you didn’t mean what you wrote in the scrapbook.” She laughed through tears. “Cause I don’t think I can handle another heartbreak.”

James turned towards her and cupped her face with his hands. “I meant all of it. Except…” He chuckled as Betty frowned a little. “…except the without me part of course. I was just trying to be hero with that.”

Betty swatted his arm and giggled and James could wait no longer. He pulled her in for a kiss and they both sighed in contentment. It was gentle, tender, loving. They kissed each other as long as they could, both of them not wanting it to finish. When they eventually parted, James rested his forehead on hers, his hands tangled in her hair, his own tousled hair grazing her cheek as they tried to calm their racing hearts.

James wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her closer to his chest, sighing in relief as he was finally able to hold her like he wanted to. “Kissing in my car again, huh?” He teased her, nuzzling his nose to her hair.

Betty rested her head at the crook of his neck and kissed the nearest square inch of skin she could reach with her lips.

"I missed you so so much." James said, holding her even tighter, never wanting to let her go.

"I missed you too.", said Betty as she took comfort from him. “Even if I’m an old cardigan, I’ll still be your favorite, right?” She said looking at him.

“Always.” James answered firmly as he leaned in to kiss her again. After all they had weeks to make up for.