Chapter Text
Earthmix .
One of the most talked-about pairings in Thailand since their debut series A Tale of Thousand Stars. Their names and faces are printed at every magazine, interview, billboards, television, and even awards. Given that they've been on-screen partners for 4 years now, it became difficult to draw the line between what’s real and what’s work for these two.
“I love you too.” Mix looked at Earth lovingly, placing a hand on Earth’s left cheek. Mix was saying the words Earth had always wanted to hear him utter.
“And cut!” P’Aof shouted. Mix immediately pulled away his hand, smiling widely at me. We were shooting our next series with only a few scenes left to go. “Alright, that’s a wrap for today! Good job as always to the both of you.” P’Aof patted their backs.
We thanked P’Aof and everyone else on the set before going our separate ways. “Mix, where do you wanna have dinner tonight before I drive you home?” Earth asked. Mix placed his fingers under his chin, thinking of what he’s currently craving for.
“Pork BBQ!” Mix cheered, his tongue already salivating with the image of Pork BBQ in his mind. Earth quickly agreed, suppressing a smile at the childish grin on Mix’s face.
Mix was often the one who decides for the both of them when it comes to where to eat. Earth doesn’t mind as long as he sees his nong happy. Earth would always give Mix whatever he wants, even fetching him to and from work, buying meals regardless of the time of the day, sleepovers at each other’s place, giving Mix hugs and cuddles whenever he’s tired, and teasing each other like family. After working together for the past 4 years, these are considered normal between them.
"Hey Khao! Wanna tag along?" Mix invited Khaotung when he walked by. Khaotung raised an eyebrow at him, "And be a third wheel? No thank you. I want to eat dinner in peace." Khaotung walked away from them. Mix laughed at his friend, "Jealousy is a disease!" he shouted at him.
Earth dragged Mix to his car to stop him from teasing his friend even more. They drove to their favorite barbeque place blasting songs on the radio and singing along like they're in karaoke. Sometimes off-key but that's okay, it's just the two of them there. As always, Mix was first to place an order when they arrived. When their orders came, Earth began grilling meat. It was an unspoken rule between them, Earth grills and Mix stare at the meat until it's ready. "You should eat too!" Mix told Earth, chewing on his food. Earth gently flicked his forehead, "Swallow the food in your mouth first before you speak."
Mix glared jokingly at him as he swallowed his food. He took a piece of meat from the grill and reached across the table to feed Earth. "Don't be shy, eat the meat you grilled." Mix urged him. Earth opened his mouth, letting Mix feed him as he grills the remaining ones. They spent the rest of the night feeding each other and laughing about the most random things they could think about. Mix ended up staying the night at Earth's place with his tempting offer of game night. Their daily lives look like a chapter from a romance novel, but it's not always what it seems.
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It was yet again another peaceful Sunday evening at the Bangna residence. Mix was whipping up dinner for two. He knew that Earth always orders take-out or cooks instant foods whenever he’s alone, so as much as possible Mix prepares home-cooked meals when he’s over, which is practically almost every day lately.
A pair of strong arms wrapped from behind, Earth resting his chin on Mix’s shoulder. He back hugged Mix, sniffing his familiar scent. “Earth, go take a shower first! You stink!” Mix complained as he suppressed the smile creeping on his face. He tried to shake him off, but Earth only hugged him tighter.
“Will you sleep again in the master bedroom?”
“Maybe. Your bed is really too soft. I will never get used to it.”
Earth chuckled, retreating his arms around Mix. “Don’t forget to drink the coffee you left in the fridge,” Earth shouted, making his way towards the bathroom. It was just another typical evening for Mix, but Earth’s mind was filled with voices fighting each other. Another day, another opportunity to make his move. His heart pounded like crazy with the fact that even as he showered, Mix was all he could think about.
For how many years, he’s done his best to hide what he truly feels about the younger one. He would slip once in a while, but would easily cover it up as phi-nong duties or as a practice for their next series. P’Tae once told Earth that he wasn’t exactly doing a good job hiding it. There was no point in pulling the phi-nong card other than making it more obvious. He was an open book when it came to Mix. A clear glass people can see through, even their fans could sense their chemistry that is beyond brotherhood. It would be a surprise if Mix was oblivious of Earth’s feelings.
The hearty meal filled their stomachs. Earth clasped his hands under his chin, staring lovingly at the man in front of him. Mix was still eating a fruit bowl when Earth proposed an offer. “Why don’t you just stay with me here?”
“Like permanently?”
Earth nodded without a doubt. “Your rent would be free. We can split the bills, you can prepare our meals, and I can do the rest of the household chores. You know, like how we always do.”
“Nah, our casual sleepovers are fine. You should have your life partner to live with you, Earth.” Mix threw the last slice in his mouth.
“I want you to be that partner, Mix.” Earth looked him straight into the eyes. This was probably the most serious conversation they had. “Huh? Uhm, I’m already your partner Earth. Your work partner.” Mix clarified.
Earth had a hesitant look. Mix raised both his eyebrows urging Earth to spill it. “I like you, Mix. I don’t know since when, but I never wanted to cross that line in fear of ruining what we have. After we grew closer in the past years, I knew I couldn’t just stay as friends with you anymore.”
Mix blinked a few times, trying to compose the right answer in his head. “I like you too, but not in the same way as you do.” Mix paused, words trapped in his mouth.
“Work or outside you always took great care of me. I’m very grateful to you. I have to admit that you’re special to me, but I only see you as a good friend, my brother, my phi ."
Earth let out a deep sigh, smiling bitterly. It was not the kind of response he expected from Mix. After all this time, was it all just in his head? Did he put too much meaning to those glances, touches, and promises that they shared? “I’ll always be your phi . Don’t worry, my favorite nong .” Earth plastered the fakest smile he can at the moment. He reached across the table to ruffle the younger one’s hair.
Mix looked at him, concern evident in his face. “I’m okay, Mix. Don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault.” Earth tried to reassure him.
Earth did the dishes while Mix sat on the couch staring blankly at the television. He hugged a throw pillow while staring at the TV which only appears as lights flickering in front of his eyes. Mix wasn’t comprehending anything, mind full of Earth’s sudden confession. Deep down Mix knew this was a turning point in their relationship— and it’s not the kind he was expecting either. It was clear from the start that having an on-screen partner includes the possibility of falling in love with them or them falling for you. Mix was well aware of that, but he never saw it coming. He thought that all this time, Earth was just being his usual kind self who looks out for others.
When he noticed Earth walking to the couch from his peripheral, Mix quickly stood up. He bumped his knee on the coffee table by accident, yelping in the process. “You alright, Mix?” Earth rushed to his side and checked on him.
Mix cleared his throat. “I’m fine, P’Earth.”
Earth looked up at him, shocked at the sudden use of honorifics even with the absence of other people. “Uhm, I’ll call it a day first. You can, Uh, do whatever.”
“Okay. Rest well, Mix. The sheets in the master bedroom are fresh—”
“I’ll sleep in my room. I mean, the guest room tonight.” Mix scuttled up the stairs to avoid prolonging the conversation. It was at that moment Earth realized the irreversible damage he’s done to their relationship.
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Another day of shooting went by. As soon as the cameras stopped rolling, the cheerful smile on Mix’s face falters. Earth still hasn’t removed his arms around the other’s waist. “Hands, P’Earth.” Mix softly reminded him. Earth was alarmed, immediately pulling his hands away from his waist. He muttered his apology to Mix, receiving a court nod in response.
Podd, who was also on set to shoot his scenes for the series, witnessed the entire scenario and was completely at loss. On a typical day, Mix wouldn’t mind any skinship with Earth even behind the scenes. He was so used to seeing those two stuck to each other like two peas in a pod that it was easy to identify when they’re not on good terms. He turned a blind eye for now. He didn’t want to meddle in their business unless their problem affects their work performance already.
“Wait for me, let me take you to ramen for dinner.” Earth circled his arm over Mix’s shoulder. Mix flinched a little and was quick to remove his touch. He stepped aside, setting a few inches of space between them. “I’ll eat at the condo, P’Earth. Thanks for the offer.”
“Oh, let me get my keys then. Straight to your condo it is.”
“No, it’s fine. P’Boy will drive me home tonight. I already told him.” Mix wai’ed at Earth before walking away to find P’Boy.
Earth’s chest felt like it was pierced with an arrow as he watched Mix’s retreating figure. He tried his best to hold back the tears forming in his eyes. Suddenly, he couldn’t properly breathe. He felt a pang on his chest causing him to cough. He bumped his chest with his fist in hopes of relieving whatever was stuck there. It worked for now but little did he know, they were roots of rejection plunging into his wilting heart.
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It was another Sunday evening, except this time the two spent it alone. Mix stared at his ceiling in utter confusion. He tried to decipher his own feelings towards Earth. It was a lot harder than he thought, sorting which was real and which was just acting. His phone wouldn’t stop buzzing from Earth’s messages asking him if he’s okay if he feels lonely at the condo if he needs anything. He didn’t bother replying to Earth after reading them. Mix thought that it’s insensitive of him to lead on Earth by going back to their normal routine when he doesn’t even know his own feelings. Maybe it was better that their relationship would strictly be business.
Earth dropped his phone after he sent those texts to Mix. He clutched his tightening chest that was becoming unbearable each day. He ran straight to the toilet when he felt his dinner coming back up. Earth was so nauseated to the point that his world was spinning. He dropped himself on his knees, gripped tightly on the toilet seat before his dinner spilled in there.
When he had nothing left to puke, he wiped his lips with the back of his hands. His entire body froze when he felt something on his hand. It was definitely not a chunk from his meal. He slowly brought the back of his hand in front of his eyes.
A petal.
A white daisy petal tainted red.
He shifted his glance down the toilet; lo and behold, the toilet was filled with his dinner, blood, and daisy petals. Earth let out an ironic laugh, coughing in between. He placed his palm on his forehead, sitting on the cold tiles. It was sad enough to not get his feelings reciprocated. He just had to catch Hanahaki disease too.