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“No no Arya you’ve weren’t listening as usual it’s beheaded, divorced, died, beheaded, divorced, survived; not divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived”.
“Sorry Septa”.
“Come on before you type anything up go over them all again with me”.
“Beheaded, Cersei Lannister, along with her two sons and brother for incest, everyone knows that one, her daughter Myrcella survived.
Divorced, Sansa Stark, marriage unconsummated. If she was as bitchy and nasty as my sister I’m not surprised, but the official story is that Robert’s prick was already visibly pox ridden”.
“That may be an accurate reflection of the Sansa of old but you should not be so rude about your sister”.
“Died, Margaery Tyrell, died in childbirth along with the child, they say the only one he really cared about.
Beheaded, Daenerys Targaryen, a failed political marriage of convenience to try and prevent her rebelling and invading Westeros. When the dragon banners of her army were seen approaching the capital she met her fate rapidly.
Divorced, my namesake Arya Horse Faced Stark, traded to the king on the basis of an inaccurate portrait, the only reason the marriage went ahead was half of the wedding feast had been cooked by the time she arrived.
Survived, Myrcella Lannister, he was old gouty, almost certainly impotent and running out of options after Meera Reed turned him down. Since she wasn’t really his daughter it wasn’t incest and it probably didn’t happen anyway. Robert was dead within months of the wedding and the country descended into Chaos. The Lannisters supported the dowager queen, everyone else looked after their own family until The Bastard Gendry, officially known by his mother’s name Tudor, finally persuaded them to unite and defeat Tywin at the battle of the Bastards, known as such because several Lords waited on the side-lines until they saw Tudor was winning and then joined him to make sure. As he went down fighting Tywin called them ‘All a pack of Bastards’”.
“Good now, I want that typed up in a sensible font, not Wingdings 2 like last week and mailed to me by dinner time. Tomorrow we’re going to learn about the building of the wall, how it started off as an earth bank and ended up nearly nine feet high and almost as wide”.
“Yes Septa”.