Archive of Our Own

It was early in the morning as Japan went about his daily routine of morning cleaning. Maybe today he would decide to look for more things he could giveaway or simply dispose of. As clean as he liked to be, Japan loved collecting antiques or artifacts of all sorts. Some items were special gifts, those he’d never get rid of. Some were extremely rare items which had been around for hundreds of years.

Once he rolled up his sleeves he began dusting off. He wondered if he had any plans that might have slipped his mind.

'Ah yes, Turkey-san was going to visit.'

He hadn't ever had him over but he had gone over to his country quite a few times. Turkey, as always, welcomed tourists. He wondered how Turkey would like it here seeing as he always spoke fondly of Japan.

The Turkish man had a soft spot for the Japanese nation and was quite protective of him. Their friendship was more of mutual acknowledgment but he was also aware of how headstrong Turkey could come off and sometimes it made Japan a bit jumpy. The main question that came to mind was why Turkey wanted to visit his home?

The truth was Greece and Turkey had been trying to one up each other again, seeing which of the two was the better nation and somehow Japan came into the topic. Greece had flaunted on how much he and Japan spoke and how the Japanese nation would come seeking refuge with him when he wanted a change of scenery. He also added salt to the wound by claiming he had spent the day at the other’s home multiple times. Turkey, feeling a bit left out, decided to prove that Japan enjoyed his company just as much! He had never really spent as much time with the reserved nation but figured why not strengthen their friendship?

Well, it would be an interesting day indeed as long as none of his friends decided to surprise him or pretty much bombard him with company. The weeks had not been going as great as he would have liked them to. His friends had been coming over quite too often and when he meant friends, he meant America bringing over people he certainly did not consider friends. Something about “the more people the more fun” but really it was simply him boasting about getting first dibs on an unreleased game. Sometimes England and France would come along too, which would turn chaotic. Sometimes Italy and Germany would come over with notice of course, but America would suddenly surprise him.

The American was coming over way more than expected. And though Japan would scold him countless times it seemed to be pointless. He’d simply get guilted into letting the American have his way. While Japan did not mind his friends’ company, being the introvert that he was, he could not always be a gracious host to his guests. He needed time to himself to recharge which he recently was not getting. This made him a bit grumpier than usual as well. Something he was not accustomed to showing.

He would have declined Turkey’s offer but he figured what would it hurt? Turkey hadn’t been over and he was simply carrying out a friend’s request, besides, the Turkish man sounded ecstatic at being able to go over to Japan. He had only hoped no random countries would pop in.

As for his good friend Prussia, well, the two, though they had been inseparable and he had become someone who he could be around quite often—that was another story for Japan—he simply told Prussia he’d been too occupied to see him. He also hoped the albino would know better.

Maybe the day would turn out alright.  

—

"Come on! You and Japan get along! You guys can talk over tea or something. Whatever it is that you guys do!" The American nation whined.

"Bloody hell, America! Why can't you go on your own? Don't you usually play video games with the guy? Or watch ridiculous horror films? Besides, have you even told Japan you're heading over? You’ve been going pretty often." England said as he raised an eyebrow.

America, looking quite pensive just smiled and gave a quick thumbs up without anymore thought.

"Yep!! And I want you to come because the more the merrier! Also I'm doing you a favor." He said as he crossed his arm over his chest laughing that oh so obnoxiously irritating laugh that the Englishman hated.

England hummed in response. "Oh yeah? How so?"

The other grinned, like he knew something he wasn't supposed to know.

"Well, I mean I could call France right over here again... Maybe even tell him ya miss him as an added bonus!~ Hey maybe he’ll come over even quicker if I tell him that one."

England scoffed in disbelief. Was he trying to humor him? Was it a sick joke? Did he know he was purposefully avoiding France? Oh dear lord just, no. Francis was the last person he wanted to see.

America didn't really know what was going on but figured that he was hiding from the French nation and used that to his advantage.

"You wouldn't." The Englishman said with narrowed eyes.

America pulled out his phone with zero hesitation.

"You wanker! Don't call that stupid frog! I'll come along to your stupid visit. Could barely deal with you but rather you than that other bastard!"

'Bingo! I win!'

"Thanks Artie!"

"Don't call me that." He scowled in response.

He couldn’t wait any longer to continue playing that game! He knew very well Japan would get angry (again) if he didn't tell him ahead of time that he wanted to go over (as he’d learned through countless times of doing so) but he figured he'd put the blame on England! It was just that much of an important game.

—

“Hm, I have an idea on how you can figure things out. I’ll read your fortune Mr. Japan! It’ll be fun!”

“But Taiwan-san… I know what I feel for my friend and it is nothing beyond that.”

“Well, that’s fine then! How’s about just your love life or just life in general? Just ask a question about it.”

Japan stayed silent, simply thinking about it.

“You’ve got nothing to lose!”

The Japanese male’s eyes went a bit wide. Fortune telling in general was quite amazing. Japan never understood how these things worked but he could certainly appreciate those who could read fortunes. Taiwan, the ever so thoughtful friend she was, asked Japan if she could read his with tarot cards. He nodded giving her the okay, still wondering if it’d even be to his benefit. The number one thing she was most curious about was his love life. Earlier that day she had asked if Prussia and him had been living together seeing as he really enjoyed helping around Japan’s house and had been around very often. The Japanese male could only panic and tell the brunette not to get ahead of herself, that him and Prussia were only close companions. Taiwan, believing that Japan was too modest, decided to find out a different way.

“Alright, ask me a question but mean it.”

What did that even mean?

“How is my current life?”

Taiwan pouted, a bit disappointed but proceeded in cutting and shuffling the tarot cards. She then let Japan pick the cards in which she would flip over. Her eyes had a gleam in them that made Japan a bit uncomfortable. As she read the three cards that the Japanese male had personally picked from the shuffled deck, he was amazed at how these fortunes seemed sensible and not as farfetched as he had expected. Not like how America would always make it out to be.

The specific readings that Taiwan emphasized for Japan were the Ten of Coins card which was his first pick and The Lovers card which happened to be his second pick.

The Ten of Coins simply read on how his responsibilities would eventually intervene on his personal relationships. He would have to learn to balance both in a mature manner in order to be happy and not become swallowed by burdens. In reality, the accuracy of that worried Japan. He tried not to really think of it as Taiwan gave him a small smile.

Japan never really thought about what would happen if he got himself romantically involved with someone, especially someone close to him, but she did not specify. She simply said personal relationship.

The next reading had Taiwan giddy. It was The Lovers card which talked about a fork in the relationship road. He would have to choose a path. She advised him it’d be a path he honestly wanted and not one he simply thought was correct. He also had a choice to make his own path, but once a romantic development appeared it’d be a serious matter that would be best to not ignore seeing as it’d turn out to be a costly emotional decision for both parties.

“You hear me Mister Japan! Often times, it is the more difficult path that will bring you the greatest benefit, particularly on a deeper level. So remember to be completely honest with yourself in the situation to come. You must deeply examine your motives, your feelings, and your options!”

Japan nodded soaking up what he had just learned. It wasn’t until she squealed and walked up to someone else who was behind them.

“Mister Prussia! Would you like me to read your fortune?!”

“Oh? Sure. Although I already know it will be awesome.”

While both men had their fortunes read, because Taiwan wanted to do another type of reading for them, it had been revealed that their chemistry in a relationship would blossom into something beautiful. It had the Japanese male blushing and speechless while Prussia had an unreadable look. It wasn’t until he finally spoke.

“A partner should always make you want to better yourself, make you feel good for being yourself and Japan is good company. If we were to somehow end up together in the future then I have no complaints. Kesesese!”

 What?!

“How bold”, thought Japan as he hid his face in embarrassment with a smiling Taiwan.

—

Prussia had originally wanted to go over and spend the day with Japan, maybe even take him out drinking. He had tried countless times but hadn’t succeeded ever since that lame fortune telling incident, really. Had he been too honest? What was too honest anyway? Was it really so bad to say a good friend would be an ideal partner to spend the rest of your life with? It had been a while since he’d seen his friend. It was so not awesome of Japan to be that way. He knew how easily embarrassed the other could get.

He just wanted to know if things were fine between them. He had unfortunately been turned down this time due to the Japanese nation having company over. The albino missed drinking some delicious German beer with good company. After all, drinking was much better with a partner. He supposed another time would have to do…?

His brother had recently been as busy as ever dealing with paper work and what not, keeping track of his contracts with other nations, organizing things to his liking, and keeping other countries in check but he at least had Italy with him. Prussia knew as adorable as Italy could be, he was a handful for his brother too. He snickered at the thought. Bothering Austria and Hungary wasn’t on his to do list for another week if not maybe two, especially since both of them had recently reconciled. Yuck, he really didn’t want to be around for that! Those losers were probably in the honeymoon phase.

In reality, he didn’t really have anyone to hang around aside from the people who worked under him and well, it wasn’t the same. As much as in denial as he was about being lonely, he couldn’t help but let the feeling sink in. His friendship with Japan had become something quite important to him. That feeling of mutual understanding and acknowledgment, that feeling of good companionship, Japan was always enjoyable company.

Someone who had went through endless trials of hardship, who walked a solitary path, who had countless insecurities but was somehow able to successfully put up a strong facade with the world. It was different with the Japanese male. Prussia was always able to be himself around the other. Japan didn’t judge him and that was comforting. Sure, Prussia would annoy the other once in a while but he did it out of playfulness. Japan really needed a bit of humor in his life! He liked teasing his friend when he had the chance. He knew the other would never hate him for it or hold it against him.

Japan was always thoughtful and a good listener. He genuinely treated Prussia well. The two would sit and talk about manga while eating manjuu and drinking tea or discussing anything else really. They’d star gaze, simply watch scenery together, play or take turns grooming Pochi or Tama. Something about Japan’s home comforted Prussia. It had this strange familiarity to it. Of course it took some time for both nations to adjust to one another. Getting there was the fun part in Prussia’s opinion. Japan was always amazed at others’ customs and the albino found that endearing.

It started out quite slow and eventually developed into a natural friendship, but part of Prussia wondered if maybe the other nation had been avoiding him after having certain aspects of their friendship pointed out? Maybe not avoiding… maybe just more distant than usual? He wanted to clear up any misunderstandings as soon as possible because he was getting into over thinking mode and he wasn’t even drinking! Why did Japan always have to keep things bottled up? Prussia had told him countless times to just say what he was feeling, that it’d relieve him of any unwanted stress.

Maybe he was a nuisance…? But Japan always seemed so grateful for his company. And why not?! He should have been! Japan was simply busy tending to other people! That was all it was. But why them and not him too? It was great that Japan was starting to open up to more people but if he were to be honest with himself, it made him feel like sooner or later he would get left behind. Would Japan forget him when he’d be gone…? Would Japan even miss him? The smaller nation didn’t seem the type… He was a loyal and a kind friend. Prussia shook the pessimistic thoughts out of his head. Yeah, okay, so he missed his Japanese friend more than he realized.

What was so special about Turkey anyway? And why couldn’t the awesome Prussia be there too? It wasn’t like it would be the first time that more than one person would be staying over. Japan would most likely argue that it was always during holidays that more people would come over. America would usually dump everyone at his house and pressure him into hosting something at his place. It was something the Asian nation came to dread.

Prussia wouldn’t ruin anything! He’d be good. He had manners too! Heck, he once taught Japan! Prussia started getting frustrated as to why he couldn’t simply see his friend. Besides, the more the merrier right? Maybe he’d just stop by for a bit even if he got into trouble. It’d be worth it to see Japan’s angry puffy face. Prussia had taken a liking to a lot of Japan’s reactions. When he first started talking to the reserved nation, he saw anxiety and doubt written all over his porcelain face.

The albino had always been strangely perceptive to the things around him and it was like he could clearly see the other’s walls constantly being held up. Such fear of not being able to keep up with everybody else, such fear of not being able to successfully get along, all he wanted was to stand on equal footing. People never really looked deeper at Japan, simply worrying for themselves, never really seeing the vulnerable nation for what he really was. Sure Japan was strong, hard working, and determined but that typical stoic and calm façade he always had up didn’t fool Prussia. Always agreeing and avoiding conflict, something about it provoked the albino. Japan was naturally a beautiful nation, scars and all but it made Prussia want to take a deeper look, see what other emotions were waiting to come out of the Japanese male.

Japan was the master of suppressing feelings after all, too timid and wary for his own good. Prussia advised the other that it was better to speak up so people would actually understand where he was coming from. It was definitely a side of his friend Prussia loved seeing, even if the Japanese male quickly apologized after his lash outs. Not that he even minded to begin with. That was actually a quite adorable sight in its own way. He felt pretty awesome for being that little push that Japan needed once in a while.

How they became such inseparable friends and how Japan started to slowly but surely let him in was an interesting challenge. He had never really come across someone so guarded, with such a strong façade, just like himself. They had a lot of similarities yet had completely different personalities. It was strange how they complimented one another. Prussia wanted to keep that inseparable bond. He didn’t plan on letting the other nations hog Japan or let silly misunderstandings get the better of him. He wasn’t getting left behind, nope!

And either way, Turkey and Japan should have been thankful that he would grace them with his awesome presence.

—

“Ne~ Germany~ Need help with anything?” The Italian hovered over the blond who was highly focused on his paperwork.

“Huh? Ah…” Germany thought about it for a good second. He scrunched his eyebrows and declined the offer.

Italy frowned. He understood what a busy person Germany could be but he needed time off once in a while. Yes, he really did because if his eyebrows stayed scrunched up like that it’d be a permanent look and he didn’t want Germany to look scary forever! Germany was a very nice and dear person to him. Italy decided to stick with him until the very end!

Some time passed and the brunet had woken up from his usual siesta. As he rubbed his eyes he saw Germany still sitting at his desk with the same posture and expression he had seen from him before he fell asleep. He needed to do something, anything. Italy walked over and hovered over the German once more.

“Ve~”

He received zero response.

“Ne~ Germany.”

No response again.

“Germany?”

No response.

The Italian began to poke the blond on his sides.

“Ne~ Ne~ Ne~ Ne~”

Germany’s concentration was finally broken and he turned to the Italian looking highly annoyed and menacing at the same time.

“WHAT IS IT ITALY?! Can’t you see I’m working here!?”

Italy frowned again. “W-Would you like me to make some pasta for us?”

Oh no, he felt sudden guilt run through him seeing the other back away slowly, with caution, with slight fear. It reminded him of the first time they met. Italy was quite naïve but always very expressive whether he wanted to be or not. He had to admit it hurt seeing the other like a cornered mouse. Germany sighed fixing his expression. He cleared his throat and tried again in a much calmer tone.

“No thanks Italy. I’m almost done—”

“But that’s what you said 5 hours ago! Germany, we should take a break and eat pasta~ My treat!”

The blond rested his head on his hands as if thinking on what to do next.

“You should take a nice break~ Relax! Too much work is bad. You’re too stressed!”

‘And you’re too relaxed’ is what he would have said but instead said, “We’ve had pasta for the past two weeks, why not something else?”

Italy pondered. Usually during times like these when he didn’t know what else to eat (because Germany’s sausages weren’t all that great to him, yet the other would constantly feed them to Italy while the Italian thought it was punishment for never thoroughly going through his training sessions) he’d always run over to Japan! The Italian lit up at the thought of Japan. He missed his friend. Maybe some nice rice cakes and tea from Japan would do Germany some good!

“Ah! Let’s go see Japan~! I’m sure he’ll have good treats for us!”

“Uhm I don’t think Japan would really want us to show up without—HEY ITALY WAIT—!”

And Italy ran out the door excited to go meet up with Japan. Germany heavily sighed and had a bad feeling about intruding in on the other’s home with no invitation. Why did Italy have to be so rude sometimes? Even if it was unintentional… He reluctantly followed after the Italian.

—

Turkey’s visit had been successful for the most part. They did speak of important matters but eventually had heartwarming conversations while eating some snacks. Japan was readying himself for a bath until he heard the knock on the door and went to go answer it hoping it wasn’t something that would ruin his bath time. But he was sadly mistaken.

His friends showed up and walked themselves inside. Japan felt his tolerance drastically drop. Why were they doing this to him again?! And even Germany and England came?! The two people he would never have expected it from, although maybe the anger was clouding his judgment because Japan knew better than to truly believe those two wouldn’t easily be dragged along by America and Italy.

As America made himself at home in the living room, he set up some pillows and mats with excitement written all over his sky blue eyes. 

“Hey Japan! I know you said you’d have company over for a while but I just couldn’t wait—I mean I hope ya don’t mind since no one seems to be around anymore, but England said he just really wanted to come over and drink some of that good ol’ tea ya know?! I told him to not be so inconsiderate!” 

Japan sighed as he heard angry retorts coming from the Englishman.

“You bastard! Like hell I did! I knew there was a reason you were doing all of this America!” England turned over to see a silent Japan with that same neutral expression he always carried.  

So then why was it that he could feel steel knives stabbing through him?

“I swear Japan it wasn’t my idea—Sorry.” 

“Aw come on Japan! We’re all here now, there’s no problem right?” America laughed setting up the game system. 

“Ve~ Japan, I hope you don’t mind if I make some of that onigiri you taught me to make~” Italy said as he swiftly passed through the door walking right towards the kitchen. 

Germany walked past Japan shortly afterward ducking his head in shame. “Erm, sorry Japan… I told him not to but—” 

He was tired of hearing that. He was tired of hearing sorry yet seeing them continuing to make themselves at home as if it was the natural thing to do. Oh Westerners… The cherry on top was— 

“OI OI! You losers all came too?! I thought the awesome me was going to be the only one to surprise Japan today!” Prussia gave a quick wave and smile to Japan as he went over to sit next to America telling him he was next to play.

 Japan tiredly sighed, feeling all his pent up frustration catching up to him. He normally would have felt instantly flustered at the sight of Prussia but he simply was not in the mood. The one person he thought he wouldn’t see but hoped he’d be a little more considerate (maybe) was being just as childish. Ironically he was thinking of possibly inviting everybody over sometime in the week, but just seeing the invasion of privacy—should he have been so mad, really? Well, even if he was overreacting he couldn’t help it. Normally if it was just one or two people he would let it slide but this was ridiculous! He had strictly told everyone if they wanted to make plans to just simply let him know. It wasn’t that hard was it?! He wasn’t keen on the idea of surprise visits from a group of friends when he really hadn’t prepared food or made arrangements or simply mentally prepared, despite his home being tidy. 

Japan just stood at the door with his arms crossed.

America paused the game and looked over to the Japanese. 

“Hey dude, you should sit. Make yourself at home!” 

Everybody decided to turn their attention to the conversation at hand. The atmosphere was getting awfully tense. 

“America-san I thank you for the permission but it is not needed seeing as this is my home.” 

Uh oh.

“I do not know why I expected more from you Germany-san and England-san.” 

Ouch.  

England and Germany had looks of shame on them as they both spoke at the same time. 

“Japan… Sor—” 

“I do not want to hear anymore apologies or excuses. While I do feel honored at the idea of you all finding my home to be comforting I would highly appreciate some notice of your arrival next time as I have told you all countless times. Fortunately this did not occur when Turkey-san was here. He and I were speaking of private matters and—”

“Ve~ But Turkey is actually really nice!” 

Japan said nothing in response to being cut off. 

Germany quickly rushed over and pulled on the Italian’s cheek telling him to be silent. 

Prussia simply stared at the Japanese realizing that while their intentions were good, Japan was not in the best of the moods at the moment. 

“Ah, I don’t think that matters Italy-chan. It was rude of us all to—” 

“You can all do as you like. I am going to get fresh air seeing as my home is no longer my own.” 

“Japan?” Prussia’s expression quickly turned to troubled. 

Japan walked out as everybody had worried looks on their faces.Italy wanted to frantically follow after him but Germany stopped him. The Japanese hardly ever showed his temper and his tolerance was never that thin but they supposed there was a first time for everything. 

“Woah. Why was he so mad?” America asked keeping the game paused. 

“Yeah. I wonder why” England said sarcastically at the American. “You git, I knew I shouldn’t have followed you! You didn’t even let Japan know! How many times have you been crowding his place?”

“Ahem. England you’re here too. You followed.” Germany interrupted before the Englishman went further into his blaming spree. 

England raised an eyebrow. “So did you.” 

Germany scrunched up his nose. “I know I did and that was our mistake.” 

“In other words we’re idiots for following idiots.”

 “Exactly.” 

Italy and America protested while Prussia snickered.

“Ve~ Where would Japan have gone? Should we wait for him?” 

“Maybe he went to go get some food out? Some hamburgers would do him good! I tend to gobble them down when I’m stressed. They’re real good for when—”

“Hamburgers are never good you bloody idiot.” 

“Let’s make Japan some nice food so we can all eat it together when he gets back~” The Italian suggested. As the evening crept up on them, everybody but Prussia had left.

—

When Japan arrived home he hadn’t realized how his body ached from being out. He stretched a bit and noticed different foods on the main table with notes on them; each one he read had an apology. Everything looked like it was intact; nothing had really seemed different aside from a few pillows and mats stacked on top of one another. The only thing that Japan hadn't expected to see was a sleeping Prussia on the floor snuggling a pillow. Oddly enough it comforting and familiar when he looked at the albino, it certainly felt a bit more like home now. How odd… He never minded being alone but he supposed with the recent years he and Prussia had spent with one another, along with his other friendships like America (and his love for video games) and Italy or Germany, being alone was something he missed but hardly got to experience anymore.  

How silly he felt at that moment by remembering his outburst. The Japanese male then smiled at the endearing sight which was quite the opposite of the albino's usual liveliness. When sudden guilt coursed through him he immediately felt like apologizing to everyone for storming out and leaving them all rudely unattended. In all honesty the real stressor was America and his pushiness. Everyone else just so happened to be in the crossfire. Prussia…well, it wasn’t Prussia’s fault for him feeling a bit uncomfortable lately. But seriously, who stormed out of their own home?! He would definitely be sure to make it up to them.  

That annoying tightness in his chest that he had been feeling returned as he continued staring at Prussia curled up with a pillow on the cold hard floor. How troublesome, thought Japan. He was fine on his way back! The idea of not being able to be near or even in the same room as his friend without those bothersome feelings welling up inside him had to be fixed. He couldn’t keep avoiding the other. Speak your mind, speak your mind. Be honest. Well, he wasn’t really avoiding Prussia he had just been busy with his usual routines… yeah, because Japan couldn’t ever really say no to people either. And he was possibly a little too gullible for his own good. Part of him wished he could be more like Greece on doing what he pleased and more confident and straight forward like Prussia.  

Japan figured maybe Prussia needed a blanket, seeing as it was getting much fresher and he didn’t want to wake the albino. No, he was not avoiding confrontation. If he offered him to sleep in a futon that would mean he’d be staying over which Japan was hesitant about this time around. But on the other hand, sleeping on the floor with nothing to cover him—he didn’t want his friend catching a cold of some sort. He quickly fetched a sheet for Prussia and got closer, studying the other’s features, Prussia looked like he was glowing in his sleep. It was strange but maybe it was his white-silver like hair along with his pale skin. 

Either way, Prussia was sort of beautiful like that. Japan made sure to put the blanket lightly over the other until his wrist was immediately grabbed and the albino leaned up quite close to Japan. Their faces were mere inches away from each other and the Japanese male felt flustered with the sudden contact and close proximity. He couldn't stop the heating up of his face and sudden racing of his heart. He really wanted a break from his so called feelings but every time Prussia got closer...

“J-Japan! Sorry!” Prussia immediately released the other’s wrist. 

The smaller male looked down at the albino apologetically. “No, I should be apologizing. My intention wasn’t to wake you. I simply didn’t want you catching a cold.” 

Prussia waved it off. “I meant sorry for grabbing your wrist like that. I guess I was a bit jumpy.” 

“It’s alright.” Japan decided to sit down next to his friend in seiza position. Neither said a word and Japan caught himself staring too intently but instantly switched his focus elsewhere.

Prussia sat up facing Japan.

"Hey… so, sorry about today." He sounded apologetic as he sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

Japan felt bad and immediately apologized.

“No, I am the one who should be apologizing. I was already feeling under the weather. That was unjust of me to lash out.” He bowed his head. 

Prussia held up his hands gesturing for the other to please stop.  

“Why are you apologizing? We’re the ones who all showed up without telling you.” 

Japan simply felt himself getting flustered again. Those so called feelings were really ruining his usual composure. What happened to when he could naturally sit with Prussia without feeling his heart beat quicken, or his face drastically heat up. Prussia on the other hand was curious to know where exactly his friend had gone. Those were some good hours of no Japan. He also felt guilty that he had been part of the reason for the other’s dismay despite it being unintentional.

“Where did you end up going to Japan? We were worried.”

"With Greece-san," was the only reply he got.  “Oh?”

After his response Japan had lost his train of thought and realized he had been foolishly staring at the albino continuing to speak or rather the way his lips moved and the way his mouth formed a small smirk when he got into a more knowledgeable topic or was trying to show off like usual. He liked when Prussia looked like he was glowing with boundless confidence. His crimson red eyes were filled with passion. Passion to continue moving forward, those eyes captivated him but they did not look that way at the moment. They looked a bit sad and possibly—Japan felt a pinch on his cheek and he yelped right after.

He was doing the staring thing again.

"Gomen...."

The albino chuckled. “Well what's going on Japan? Can't keep it all to yourself. Tell the awesome Prussia, ja?"

Japan found it amusing at how curious seemed.

"I only told Greece how unbearably asphyxiating and inconsiderate America could be sometimes.”

Prussia simply listened. He wanted to snicker at the comment but stayed silent.

"But I also I understand that it wasn’t fair to be upset at you all. I know America means well most of the time and so do the rest of you. Times of peace are rare... even rarer when we all get together. I simply needed time to refresh."

"But being with Greece doesn’t really count as being on your own." Prussia blurted out unintentionally.

Japan blinked a bit taken back by the response.

"Yes but he doesn't necessarily count as true company when he dozes off mid conversation. Although I suppose that is true Prussia-kun. I did most of my venting with someone."

Prussia leaned over and stuck out his pinky. “Japan! Promise you’ll come to me next time. I’ll tell all the other losers to leave you alone, ja?”

Japan sighed at the sudden perkiness. "That isn't necessary."  Prussia stubbornly kept his pinky out waiting on the other to promise. Japan knew how persistent his friend could be.

"I'm merely wondering why it is important that I come to you with my troubles?"

"Because you are the awesome me's important friend. And I want to know what’s up with you too Japan! Besides…h-how important am I to you? If Greece is someone you can be comfortable with does that mean that I’m not—"

Japan felt his face heat up at the innocently bold statement. Prussia just stared at the other's adorably soft looking features with a small frown. He hadn't told Japan but the smaller male was always cute, especially when he made small selective smiles. He had never seen Japan smile much or laugh for that matter. He hadn't realized when he became so selfish with his Japanese friend and wondered if anyone else got those smiles out of him. He wanted to witness Japan’s firsts of everything. Maybe that was already impossible seeing as Japan already seemed close to a few others. He knew he needn't worry about Italy or his brother much for that, those two were meant for one another. But when he thought of Greece or Turkey or even America his stomach twisted and turned.

"—Prussia-kun?"

Ops, it looked like the roles were reversed. He hadn’t even heard if the other responded to him. And why was he thinking of firsts in terms of just romantic relationships? Could he even be romantic? Well yes he could. He might not have been France or even England in the area of romance but he could certainly kiss Japan or hold his hand or hug him and even make love to him if they were to go all the way. The thoughts made his face redden and his mind wandered again.

"You seem like you have a lot on your mind as well." The Japanese said with a hint of worry but understanding.

"Huh? Oh. Y-Yeah I guess so but was that really the only thing troubling you? You haven’t been avoiding me right? Because if it’s that whole tarot card incident then—"

Japan tuned out the rest of that sentence. He couldn’t make eye contact again, and how frustrating and silly this all was! He felt like a child being embarrassed of such foolish things. In truth, it wasn’t just because of the fortunes they got. It simply sparked something in him that he had never bothered paying attention to; it made him realize how much attention he truly paid to his friend. It made him reevaluate his friendship as a whole and how important Prussia had become. Ever since that tiny push (because Japan over analyzed everything and never let things just happen) he had been extra jumpy around Prussia yet still tried to keep his usual composure. It was difficult and tiring. “Japan…?”

—

Japan sat himself down quietly next to the sleeping nation who had a content feline lightly snoring on his stomach as he watched. The Japanese wondered if maybe he should have left. He hadn’t wanted to disturb on his sleep despite the Greek sleeping more than the usual. As he was about to get up and take a walk around before actually going back to his place, Greece opened one relaxed eye and smiled lazily.

"Hello Japan. Nice seeing you around here again."

Japan a bit surprised, but immediately relieved said, "Greece-san. It has certainly been quite a while. How have things been?"

"Well, things haven’t been all that busy lately."

The Japanese male could not help but wonder what exactly Greece considered ‘busy’. He had never witnessed the other in such a day.

"I am glad for you.”

Greece simply nodded and closed his eyes in relaxation again. Japan sat in silence as the moments passed. He wondered if his friend had gone back into his deep slumber because it was Greece, after all. Some more minutes passed, and the soothing yet relaxing atmosphere Greece seemed so very good at setting thoroughly sank in. Japan figured he’d do what he had planned. He came for a reason of course, and that was simply to unload his troubles, to talk to someone but at the same time didn’t really wish to be heard.

He took a deep breath and spoke.

"Although I am glad to have more friends, today they decided to crowd my house once more without even consulting me first. Luckily Turkey-san had left before they all rudely barged in. I angrily walked off on them telling them to do as they pleased seeing as they clearly did not care for my say. Though it is actually American-san’s fault… but I feel I may have overreacted. I have also been having other troubles with being around Prussia-kun. I haven’t been able to fully enjoy his company for the past few weeks ever since the tarot card readings Taiwan-san read for us. And it isn’t like this is the first time our relationship has been pointed out. I just—I never wanted to cross that line or bothered thinking of it but now—I just miss my dear friend even if he does not feel the same. I feel quite sick when I’m around him now. When he speaks, I tend to distract myself watching his lips move instead. His voice is one of my new favorite things about him but I am also always blushing around him. I’m sure he has noticed how foolish I am acting.”

Japan felt himself getting lighter despite his cheeks heating up. He went on with his rant.

“Yet it strangely reassures me because Prussia-kun makes me believe things I never thought I’d believe in. The list continues to grow as time goes on. Despite me not being all that comfortable with physical contact, I certainly do miss his affectionate and friendly gestures. I know exactly what these symptoms mean and it worries me, for I fear that I can never be the same with him again. I crave being alone but when I am without him, I feel lonely and it does not make sense? I also wonder if the space I am creating between us will only damage our relationship. I am aware that I am causing all of this but I just came to relieve myself of those thoughts. I do apologize for extremely long rant.”

Japan let out a heavy sigh of relief and let his eyes shut as he enjoyed having said such a personal thing to someone else regardless if they were not necessarily listening. At that moment he was truly thankful for Greece's near narcolepsy than he surely had ever been but that peace he felt soon went to pieces when he heard the other’s soft monotone voice.

"Well, I am surprised to be honest. I mean I knew it was a matter of time until you fell in love... You’re a good person Japan. I just didn’t expect it to be like this.” Greece sighed.

“And you seem to already have made it clear to your friends that you are upset. I am sure they are feeling sorry for their actions.” There was another small pause as he scrunched up his face thinking of the damn name that came up, Turkey, yuck. He continued on, ignoring the mention of that annoying country. “As for distancing yourself from Prussia, I suggest you not do that. It will only create more problems. You are far too inexperienced with such matters anyway... It is good to be happy. You should do what makes you happy more often, Japan.” The relaxed Greek did not bother to open his eyes as he said this.

“I shouldn't have…spoken…" Japan immediately tensed up. "I feel so foolish right now Greece-san. Lately, I have become very bad at communicating. Maybe that is why my friends take me for granted as well." His lips curved into a slight frown. He tried focusing on the floor instead when a tan hand came into view and dropped firmly onto his own.

Greece certainly thought he did just fine right then but he supposed Japan was already having a harder time than usual with this.

"I’m sure your friends will understand. As for Prussia, is he your Nekokichi?" Greece said in a sterner tone while keeping his usual relaxed expression.

Japan lightly gaped at him. He closed both his mouth and eyes trying to suppress his embarrassment and carried on with the conversation at hand.

"I see him as much closer than that, Greece-san," he murmured.

Greece gave his cat a tired smile, relieved that he could remain Japan’s Nekojiro.

"I think you should speak up more often. Keeping things bottled up does not help your cause as you just witnessed yourself." Greece patted Japan’s hand affectionately as he spoke.

“You are starting to remind me of Prussia-kun when you tell me to speak my mind.”

The Greek nation made a light noise which sounded like a mixture of an amused chuckle or hum. “You should listen to that advice. If you ever need to feel relaxed again, you can come here and relax with me. We can be cats together.”

Japan couldn't help but smile at the heart warming invitation.

"Thank you very much. That is a very kind offer, and I will try to do so." He nodded and tentatively placed his own hand over the one covering his other. "You are a good friend Greece-san."

Greece's smile widened and grew less lazy.”You should also remember that it isn’t healthy to deny ourselves of the things we desire, Japan. To deny our impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human . ”

Japan was speechless this time around as Greece certainly hummed that time as both sat in silence. The Japanese let the wise words sink in.

—

Ah those thoughts again.

"Why you don’t you speak your mind like I told you to?" Prussia's tone was worried. Japan hadn’t answered his question of avoidance but Prussia’s suspicions had been confirmed at simply seeing the Japanese.

Japan avoided his glance. His hands were immobile. "Because sometimes it is not necessary or relevant." No, Wrong. He was going against everything he said he would try! He truly was stubborn. What happened to being completely honest?

"Well, then answer me this, Japan. Why do you think I provoke you? Why do you think I always smile at you when you scold me? Why would I even tell you these things in the first place?"

"Why...?" Then Japan asked once more sounding more confused than before. He had noticed the hurt look in the albino’s eyes. "Why?" He wanted to touch Prussia and reassure him that nothing was wrong… why did he look like that? Wait, why did he want to touch Prussia? What nerve!

"Because it's better than you hiding your real feelings. I like to see the real you. I thought you were finally working on that but I guess I have to be around you more often. That is if you let me...” 

“Y-You…” 

No one had ever told him that before. Sure, Japan felt things, certain things that annoyed him and made him feel like he wasn’t a good friend to Prussia (like simply ignoring his own feelings and avoiding his friend thinking distance would make things go away) but he never thought he deserved more than the minimum. What did he really want? 

“Japan just remember, it's okay to feel. You're allowed to do so. No one can tell you otherwise, not even our bosses."

Japan finally spoke up. "I’m a nation and so are you Prussia-kun."

"If you can feel you're human. We’re unique like that."

Japan's eyes widened and silence continued to fill the room. Reality was so twisted, but his friend made a valid point. Things hurt him and caused him joy like anybody else. He loved and disliked things like everybody else. Was he self sabotaging? Why now? If he even dared to believe in his fortune then why was he going against it? When what he wanted was right in front of him. He just had to take that extra step, but it was so frightening. The one thing Prussia had truly caught onto was being able to read the Japanese nation. The other’s onyx colored eyes used to have zero shine to them, an emotionless stare that was deceitful to the naked eye but with time and with contact, with bonds and friendships, those onyx eyes gained a unique shine. He hoped he was part of that shine too. The albino noticed how hard Japan attempted to shut himself off at that moment, but not this time. It wasn’t happening.

“Why don’t you think you deserve more? You know for some time I didn’t allow myself to be happy. I’d let all my country’s misfortune take its toll on me. Our malnourishment, our so called allies’ betrayals, and the loneliness of it all were consuming me. The endless lists of tragedies… but it wasn’t until I approached a small lonely island that I thought for a second, maybe they were just like me. Maybe they didn’t know if they could open up to the world again because of how cruel things could be. I wanted to give this lonely country some of their shine again or at least be part of their confidence. I only hoped they would let me.”

“We both have certainly been through a lot…” The Japanese nation replied softly still refusing to make eye contact.

He was truly grateful for Prussia being his friend. Comfort and familiarity, those two words were Prussia for him. Prussia felt so much closer than ever before and it was making Japan more nervous. Even more so than those world meetings he’d attend. 

“Yes we have.”  

“I suppose maybe we do deserve—” 

Before Japan could finish his sentence he hadn’t been able to react quickly enough at the albino lifting his chin and pressing his lips against his. He hadn’t honestly expected a kiss of all things. It wasn’t rough, it was slow and tender, as if testing the waters. Japan was frozen in shock feeling the soft pressure on his lips. Prussia didn’t know why but he just felt like holding the other close, having him be physically and emotionally closer. He kept asking himself why. And then the word happiness came to his mind. It was so simple. Japan and happiness.

Of course Prussia knew why he kissed Japan. While he didn’t exactly believe in fortune telling, he already had feelings for his friend. As he spent more time learning about the Japanese country, he started feeling more at home with him. He found Japan’s place to be a sort of sanctuary for himself. A place where he could simply be himself and not let his nightmares consume him. Yes he was a nation and yes he had responsibilities, but how else would one cope with the everyday stressors? Japan made things so much lighter, so much better. Why wouldn’t he want that in his life? 

His interest in his smaller friend had been growing with time and he assumed Japan wouldn’t want anything like that. So he hadn’t bothered saying a word. Even the awesome him had doubts once in a while. Maybe it was just seeing Japan wanting to withdraw again, maybe it was those worrisome eyes that showed a mixture of hesitation, confusion, and need, or maybe it was just because a flustered Japan was his favorite. He could feel the heat radiating off of them both as he captured the other’s small soft lips. Japan eventually tried matching the same movements as the albino. Prussia greatly appreciated it. He was quite relieved actually. Japan tasted of green tea, a taste he grew truly accustomed to, with the extra mixture of saliva, Japan’s saliva. It was something he would definitely want to get used to. His hand found its way to the back of the smaller male’s neck as he ran his fingers through the short dark strands of hair.  

Japan couldn’t help but shudder at the contact. Prussia…Prussia, Prussia, Prussia. He tasted Prussia, felt Prussia, why did he let himself get caught up in the moment? Because everything he ever wanted and desired, he had it within his grasp. Japan finally understood. This was something he couldn’t exactly deny or go against anymore. He thought that maybe he had been wrong, that maybe the talk he and Greece had was a dream, that maybe Taiwan was simply being a gushing friend, but why was he trying to deny himself again? Because he was so used to it, because having everything he desired was a scary thing… because all good things must come to an end but one thing that stuck to him were Greece’s words of “to deny our impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.” and Taiwan’s advice on being honest.

Prussia heard the other attempting to speak and he disappointedly broke off the kiss because he realized they needed air. Was he was too bold on kissing him out of pure instinct or just because he desired it? They both panted breathing in new air. They were flustered, red as tomatoes, and Prussia couldn’t help but break off the embarrassment with laughter. Japan simply blinked and eventually furrowed his eyebrows, the strong shade of red still persistently attached to his cheeks. 

“S-Sorry, sorry. We probably just looked funny right now. But yes, I agree.” He leaned close into Japan’s ear and whispered, “We deserve happiness”. 

Japan’s intense blushing hadn’t died down but instead had more reason to stay.

“Prussia-kun! Please refrain from sounding so—”

“So what? Hm? What’s the problem? You participated as much as I did.” 

He took the chance at provoking because he felt something more in between those lips. 

Prussia’s smirk grew mischievous and that doubt he felt before the kiss, immediately vanished when he felt the other return the same harbored feelings with a kiss of his own. The same flustered expression on them as well when they broke apart for air and his confidence was at one hundred percent again. 

Japan narrowed his eyes still keeping his blush.  

“Kesesese!”

The Japanese couldn’t help but softly chuckle to himself. It was just like Prussia to get back up on his feet. Japan really liked that about him.

“Ah! You laughed.”  

Japan’s eyes grew wide in surprise because the next thing he saw was definitely his most favorite part, Prussia’s genuine happy smile. The smile that just looked so contagious. He felt like he was walking on a nice field of fresh green grass with a bright beaming sun caressing his face. The imagery of it all soothed him and his lips curved into a soft smile. 

Prussia blushed at the other’s reaction. He had rarely seen Japan smile like that. He made Japan smile! Yes, yes! The awesome him was simply too amazing for words! That evening Prussia felt the most accomplished he’d ever felt in a while as he reached for Japan’s hand and softly rubbed it with his own. At feeling the other flush, he ruffled his hair contently as Japan huffed. 

“Prussia-kun is very important to me.” He said softly, almost like a whisper in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. 

The albino gaped trying to process what was just said. His face lit up as he got up off the floor staring down at the Japanese who wondered if he shouldn’t have said what he said.

“I’m glad the awesome me is very important to you.” Prussia extended his hand out for the other to grab. 

Japan would have told him he could get up on his own but decided to simply accept the kind gesture. The next thing he knew he was pulled into the albino’s arms and Japan’s voice malfunctioned as Prussia held him tightly, as if never wanting to let go. They stayed like that for a good while, taking in each other’s scents.

As for the left over meals Japan had from everybody else, he figured why not invite them over the next day to eat it all with him? Luckily they were foods that could be refrigerated. There was no point in all that food being for one person. He and Prussia surely couldn’t finish it, even if Prussia himself would say he could.  

“So…you were avoiding me, Japan?” 

The Japanese should have known he wouldn’t have escaped this. 

“I-I didn’t exactly mean to Prussia-kun but it was truly bothersome.” 

“What was? I was bothersome?” 

Prussia felt a sting in his chest.

“No! J-Just…every time you were around I’d pay more attention to you and then my face would always get very hot. Then my heart rate tended to accelerate and it was all so unhealthy—” 

“Oi oi, that sounds great. I never knew the awesome me made you feel like that.” 

“Do you get that feeling too?” Japan asked with a bit of embarrassment. 

Prussia blinked a few times as the Japanese male looked up curiously waiting for his response. 

Cute. 

“Y-Yeah. I felt that a lot around you but, kesesese…it’s a nice feeling. I didn’t mind if you didn’t return my feelings.” 

Japan was shocked at how Prussia really was holding in his feelings. He felt like a novice at love. He really couldn’t imagine himself being completely alone anymore. Even when he thought he was, Prussia would coincidentally come over and keep him company. The albino thought Japan was doing him the favor of keeping him company but really, they both were. It was like they could be alone together and be perfectly content. They were alone but not lonely. The Japanese wondered if things really would be all that different. Prussia figured the main difference was that he could freely kiss Japan when he felt like it (indoors of course) because the shorter male really was too adorable for his own good. 

Prussia held out his pinky again. “So promise?” “

Of course”, thought Japan. Prussia was persistent.

The Japanese held out his pinky as well and they promised. Japan promised he’d go to Prussia for his worries more often. He promised he’d say what he felt more often and if he didn’t the albino would provoke it out of him (as if he didn’t already).

—

Japan had humbly received his friends over the next day with Prussia’s help of course. He had made phone calls first thing in the morning apologizing first of course, although some of his friends responded much later (America, Italy). Nobody blamed him. The food was still highly edible, seeing as Italy was good at making foods that could last. 

“Ve~ I’m glad you and Prussia are finally together~” The Italian abruptly brought the topic up. 

Japan’s face reddened. “A-Ah Italy-kun?! How—” 

“It’s hard to NOT bloody notice when the wanker keeps saying My Awesome Japan” The Englishman interrupted as he took a bite of the onigiri on his plate.

“It’s all over his blog too~ I’m happy for you both!” Italy smiled. 

“What?!” Japan exclaimed his blush permanently staying. 

“Congrats Japan!” America playfully smacked the Japanese’s back as he came over eating some macaroni and cheese. 

“H-How did—” 

“It was obvious dude! He kept calling you awesome all over his blog. He even made an appreciation post too.” 

Was everybody finishing his sentences that day? The fact America out of all them knew too… Japan hadn’t dared log onto his blog.  

“WHAT?! MY BRUDER AND JAPAN!?” 

“Ve~ Germany’s slow~” 

Seeing the look of initial shock from Germany and those light blue eyes lock in on him, oh no, was he going to get knocked out? Should he have begged for mercy, for forgiveness? Should he have committed seppuku? Was Germany going to hate him thinking he defiled his older brother?! Because that totally was not the case. If anything, he'd have to say Prussia was the one that—no that wouldn't cut it. 

The blond German approached Japan as he squeezed his eyes shut, for fear of the worst but as he felt nothing happening to him, he opened them again to see Germany looking conflicted and embarrassed. 

“Uhm, well, if he makes you happy and you make him happy then I suppose it’s fine. He can be a bit too much sometimes but I’m sure you know by now and—” 

“Uhm, excuse me Germany-san. He’s not moving into my home or anything of the sorts...” 

“Ve~ They’re not married just yet Germany!” 

Japan’s blush did not want to go away. 

“He practically lives there though if you don’t count those few weeks you two didn’t see each other.”Eyes turned to the Englishman and he felt like he had said something he shouldn’t have. A drop of sweat trailed down. “Uh, oh. I think I’m going to go try the pasta next haha… Excuse me.”

England walked off avoiding the rest of that conversation. His voice trailed off saying, “Such bullocks! My scones haven’t even been touched”!  

Prussia entered the room munching on the Japanese pastries he loved oh so much. He had gotten bored playing on his own since America wandered off to get more food. He found the blond with glasses and the rest of the group. Noticing a flustered Japan, Prussia couldn’t help but sneak behind him and put an arm over him casually. 

“Prussia-kun?!” 

“Hey.” He said smugly. “What are you guys talking about?” 

“Your blog! And how we wish you two happiness!~” 

Prussia lightly blushed and laughed. “Thanks Italy-chan.” 

Japan looked up at the albino. “Prussia-kun, I didn’t know you were blogging again.” 

Prussia looked down confused at Japan. “I was on break for a bit but why not tell everyone that you’re awesome?” 

Japan pouted. “Yes, yes…” 

“Ah…bruder, I…” 

“Hm?” 

“Congratulations. I didn’t know you and Japan—” 

“AH! Thanks West! Kesesese” Prussia patted Germany’s back.

Why did it suddenly feel like a wedding reception to Japan? It was like getting to meet the family and hearing their opinions about your relationship. They had just established themselves yesterday! 

“Dude, I’m going to back to finishing that game. You coming?” America asked. 

“Of course the awesome me will play. Let’s go Japan?” Prussia pulled the Japanese along before he could protest. 

Somehow France had shown up to the party and well, England finally had someone to bond with as Italy and Germany wondered how those two could keep up the pointless fighting. Overall, the past was the past and Japan didn’t mind if he would get random company but Prussia did make sure to drill it into America’s head to stop bringing in random friends of his to Japan’s home every time he wanted to play.

As Japan was putting away the empty trays Prussia had come into his kitchen and wrapped his arms around the Japanese’s waist. Japan had just finished putting said trays away and tried squirming out of the other’s firm but affectionate hold. The smaller male felt the other rub his face against the dark strands of his hair as he planted a kiss on the nape of his neck. Japan squealed.

“Prussia-kun! We have guests.” 

“Mmm ja.” 

“Prussia-kun let go!” 

“Hmm, can’t hear you.” He planted another light kiss which gave the Japanese chills as his face reddened.  

He was going to be blushing a whole lot with Prussia and the Japanese nation didn’t need a fortune to tell him that. 

“Prussia-kun?!?!” Japan turned around with furrowed eyebrows and my goodness Prussia thought it was the cutest thing ever. He pinched the albino’s cheek as hard as he could. 

“Owowow! Japan!” 

And he was released in no time. 

“Thank you for letting me go.” Japan said with a smile. 

Prussia rubbed his cheek in response. “Ah, that was not awesome.”

“We could become more affectionately intimate when everyone leaves to their respective homes.” 

The albino raised an eyebrow at Japan. “Really?” 

The Japanese male blinked a few times. “Yes...” 

“Nice!” He rushed out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Japan heard an instant, “Hey LOSERS, party’s over! I’m going to have an awesome private after party with Japan!” 

Then there was an immediate, “Ve~ Germany they’re going to have sex!” 

Germany groaned in agony. “Bruder… we do NOT need to know that.” He then turned to the Italian. “And ITALY we did not need clarification!” 

Japan felt his knees go weak. All he could ask himself was, “Why?” 

“Oh! I’m so happy my fortune was a part of this! May you and Mister Japan be blessed Mister Prussia!” said Taiwan who had actually arrived while Japan had been cleaning some of the empty dishes. 

He loved Prussia regardless, but well, he’d certainly have to get used to the other’s shamelessness and his friends’ strange encouragement of such indecency.