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Chan woke up as the sun washed the room with its golden shine. For a moment he was disoriented, unused to the warm and cozy room that Lee Felix had decorated with plants and fuzzy blankets. He looked to his right, where said boy was sleeping peacefully.
He stared in awe as the sun made his skin shimmer, his fingertips ached to trace the lines in the tattoo that adorned his back, they begged for Chan to let them feel how soft and warm Felix's back was. But Chan knew better than to allow his impulsive tendencies to take over his life.
So instead, he watched him. It was a compromise, really. He would only get to admire the golden glimmer of his best friend's back as long as they remained as such.
It's not that Chan was scared of losing it, although that was a very important factor he would often bring into the conversation whenever Changbin bugged him to 'just confess already'. No, what Chan was really scared of was of the uncomfortable face Felix would make, only an 'oh, I see' would leave his pretty lips. And then he would very carefully, almost skillfully reject him in a way that would leave Chan no other option but to run away and never hear from the fairy like boy ever again.
One might think, "Chan, you're so dramatic, if he's not into you, you guys can still be friends! It doesn't need to end there!" But the thing was, Chan was a bit of a hopeless romantic. Actually not a bit, he was a huge fan of the whole kissing under the rain, bringing flowers to the first date and cooking his lover breakfast, for the rest of his life.
He had come to terms with his sexuality years ago but besides some on and off online relationships with boys he never actually got to see in person, he had never dated a real life boy. He never got to have a first date, to sit in front of a very nervous man who'd make jokes to ease their nerves and he never got to kiss a boy and he never even held hands with a boy in a way that was not platonic. All he ever knew were women, so can you blame him, really, for being so afraid?
He was a gay man, who tried so hard to look like an expert in the whole love situation, but in reality he was just learning what it felt like to actually like someone.
Of course, when he first realised he liked Felix, he freaked the fuck out. How could he not? He was his best friend, for fuck's sake. But he could not help the lingering eyes and the hands that caressed his back a little too warmly whenever they hugged. He could not help but smile brightly whenever he was in the room. He couldn't stop himself from imagining scenarios that would never happen between them, all alone in his bed at 2 am instead of sleeping or finishing his damn assignments.
To say that Bang Chan was whipped, was to fall short, really. He liked Felix so much he felt like his face would explode after smiling so much because of him. He liked Felix so much his hands would always find something to fidget with whenever he was around. He liked him so much it felt like his heart could give up at any point now, and he was sure that his last thoughts would be of his blinding smile.
Felix groaned, pulling him out of his thoughts. He stretched like a cat, which made Chan almost lose it right there and then, and opened his eyes.
"G'morning" he mumbled, smiling.
"Morning," he replied softly "How'd you sleep?"
The blond boy looked at him with an expression he couldn't quite decipher. "I slept great," he said " I dreamed about you."